The Cuckoo's Child (2 page)

No, not Philip, thought Laura, reflecting on this now two-week-old conversation as, having said her final goodbyes to Ruth and the rest, she began her last journey across London to the solid comfort of home in Chetwyn Square, leaving behind for good the dingy poverty and squalor, the teeming life and general rowdiness of the east London streets and the Settlement house. She was never allowed to make her way home unattended after darkness fell, and tonight that duty had been allotted to a cocky, sharp-witted urchin called Artie Spink. He was only eleven years old but a survivor of life in the gutters of Stepney, and smart enough to keep her safely out of the way of street fights, drunks, pickpockets or any other danger that might arise. He kept close to her through the noisy crowds along the Commercial Road, until he could expertly whistle up the first motor cab which came along. Laura reached into her pocket and pressed a florin into his grubby palm. ‘I'm going to miss you, Artie. Good luck, and mind you keep away from the truant school.'

‘Ta, miss, good luck to you an' all.' Nonchalantly pocketing the two-shilling piece, unheard of riches, he gave her his cheeky, unstoppable grin, stepped back hastily to avoid the kiss that might be coming, waved to her and was off.

Laura let the cab take her within a mile or two of home. ‘Stop here, cabbie, please. I'll walk the rest of the way.'

‘You sure, miss?' He looked at her doubtfully but she smiled and handed him a generous tip as she stepped out on to the pavement. ‘Well, then, mind how you go,' he called after her.

‘I will.'

No, she could not believe Philip Carfax's intentions had been open to misinterpretation, she decided, recalling Ruth's words as she walked through the gaslit streets. Not Philip. He was habitually cautious and thought before he spoke, not only because of his training as a partner in his father's solicitor's firm, but by inclination also; a trait Laura endeavoured to copy, though never with much success. What he'd said had been clear enough. This opportunity he'd presented her with was nothing more than what it seemed, just a short period of work in the north of England, which he had picked on as something that might be helpful to her; a thoughtful gesture typical of Philip. That did not preclude his having considered all the possibilities, and any likely pitfalls, before he put the suggestion to her. Always thorough, Philip would surely have done that – he always had her best interests at heart, never mind that he was sometimes perplexed in the matter of what they were. Which possibility, she reflected with a little laugh, probably applied to most men at the moment with regard to women.

All the same, when the idea had first been broached, over an agreeable dinner at a restaurant whose prices she suspected were at the limit of what he could afford, amid the well-dressed crowd, the soft carpets and the muted hum of conversation and laughter, when she was feeling at her best, wearing a new beaded frock in crushed strawberry charmeuse, with shoes dyed to match, and her hair fixed up securely for once into a becoming style by Cox, her aunt's maid, he had fidgeted for some time before saying tentatively, ‘I want to ask you something, Laura.'

She put down her starched napkin. ‘Please, Philip—'

‘No, it's not that. I promised I wouldn't ask you again, didn't I? And I won't – or not for another six months anyway,' he answered, still good-humoured, though more than a hint of irony had crept into his tone. He hesitated, then said, ‘I've come across something that might interest you. Some work.'

At first she hadn't thought much of the idea. It appeared that some rich manufacturer somewhere in the north apparently had a library full of books which he wanted cataloguing. It was a job any reasonably competent person could have undertaken without stretching themselves, providing one had the qualifications – which she had not. Why then had Philip thought of her? She searched his face for clues, but nothing there gave her an answer.

‘This may be what you need at the moment – a bit of perspective, don't you think? Time to see your way forward. Away from . . . everything.' He lifted her hand, then gently laid it down. It did not match the rest of her appearance; the nails were cut short, the cuticles jagged, it was rough and reddened, and rested incongruously against the white damask tablecloth, the glittering glass and elegant silverware. However unintentional, his gesture had been only too eloquent of how everyone regarded her work at the Settlement. In silence she finished her sole and he drank his soup.

Was this what this business was all about – a stratagem to get her away from what they all – Philip, her aunt and uncle – really regarded as that hopelessly altruistic project of Ruth Paston's, something they applauded in principle but deplored in practice? She thought Philip would not be so devious, but she could not be sure. Open as he was, he was still a lawyer, a breed not unknown for its wiliness.

The only person who seemed to approve of what she'd been doing since she left college, in fact, was Eva, Philip's younger sister, but her opinions didn't count for much since she was, as their father constantly complained, being a bit of a handful at the moment. Stirred by an awakening social conscience, wrapped up as she had become in what he considered this foredoomed campaign for female emancipation, she had taken to lecturing everyone at every verse end, Philip grumbled.

‘Well, think about it,' he said to Laura eventually, regarding with resignation this charming, animated, sometimes headstrong girl whom he had known all his life and who had for so long occupied most of his thoughts, ‘but not too long. I suspect the offer won't remain open indefinitely. And when you come back, you may well see the future a little differently.'

‘Oh, Philip! I shan't change my mind, you know . . . I do love you – as a dear friend,' she added hastily, seeing his expression change, ‘but we should soon drive each other mad if we were married, can't you see that? Look how we used to fight when we were children.'

‘So did you and Eva, but look at you now. The best of friends.'

‘That's altogether different.'

‘And besides,' he added with a wry smile, ‘I fight scarcely anyone now.'

She looked at him sadly, watching him stirring his coffee into swirls. Could he not see that it would never do? Philip, so pleasant and kind, so sensible – and so conventional, from his smoothly parted, butter-coloured hair and high collar to his polished boots. He would always follow the correct road; he was born to do so. Whereas she . . . she might well have a stormy path in front of her, but at least she might have
lived
on the way.

He said seriously, ‘Laura, I think you should take this opportunity.'

There was something he wasn't telling her, which was not like him. Philip and secrets didn't go together.

‘And what if the opportunity isn't one this Mr Ainsley Beaumont would wish to take up? He may not think I'm suitable – for one thing, I'm not qualified. Not to mention the fact that he hasn't even seen me.'

‘Apparently it's nothing very specialized, and he doesn't need to see you, he says. Not if you are someone recommended by us. We've acted for him for years, he trusts us implicitly and he'll go by what we say.'

Despite the nonchalance he tried to assume, the ‘we' as he said it sounded a trifle self-conscious. With the Arroway part of Carfax, Arroway and Carfax having long since occupied a place beneath a marble slab in the churchyard, and the senior Carfax, Philip's father, being seriously afflicted at the moment with gout which had resulted in having himself driven down to Bath for a month's Spa-Cure, Philip was finding himself solely responsible for making the firm's decisions for the first time.

‘Think about it, Laura. But don't rely entirely on me; I suggest you ask your uncle's advice.'

‘I don't think I need to do that,' she returned, somewhat sharply, but then she smiled. ‘I've rather learnt to like making my own decisions, you know.'

And instantly her mind was made up. Sorting out books hardly sounded as exciting a prospect as she might have wished, but perhaps Philip was right, and something peaceful like that was what she needed, a period in which to take stock after the rough and tumble of life in the Stepney house.

Two

Laura had come into the childless lives of Lillian and George Imrie at the age of eighteen months, after both her parents had been killed in a railway accident, when an express train in which they had been travelling had collided with a stationary one, a disaster in which fourteen people in all were killed. She dutifully kept a photograph of them on the mantelpiece in her bedroom, one given to the Imries by an old cousin, the only relative the dead couple had had between them, a woman who was herself now deceased.

They disappointed Laura. An uncompromising pair, both looked as though they might never have been young. It seemed impossible to believe that the stony woman looking out of the frame had produced any child, much less
her
, Laura, and although she had to admit that must be where her sharp chin had come from, she did not care to think of anyone who could wear a hat like that being her mother. That was a thought she was a little ashamed of, however – it sounded too like one of Lillian's sillier sentiments. And yet . . .

Lillian was easy-going and affectionate, not troubled too much by uncertainties such as wondering what she might have become had her life been otherwise. Married as she was to a good man whom she loved and respected, she could not conceive of any woman wishing any other existence. Her time was fully occupied with an endless social round and, since George was a senior partner in Imrie's bank and a wealthy man, indulging her passion for spending his money. She had a beautiful skin, a wasp waist and a fine bosom, and spent many hours being measured and fitted for clothes which would enhance all three.

What Laura proposed to do was totally beyond her comprehension, ‘Yorkshire!' she cried, as if it were the last place on earth fit for human habitation. ‘Dear child, you can't
think
what it's like up there!'

‘Goodness, I'm not committing myself to being there for life, Aunt, or even for very long. For the next few weeks, or for however long it might be, I'll just follow my nose and take whatever comes, and hopefully enjoy the experience.'

‘Then I hope you are prepared to enjoy being frozen to death. When I was up there that time with your uncle for the grouse I cannot tell you how simply
glacial
it was.'

This occasion was one which was not often referred to by Lillian. Since neither she nor her husband normally moved in circles where Saturday-to-Monday grouse-shooting parties were usual, she had expected it to be a grand social occasion, one where she would make new and interesting friends. She had not bargained for the miserable, cold and wet affair it had turned out to be; much of the time spent standing behind the men on the soaking heather, applauding them as they shot as many birds as they could from the sky, while at other times the women in the party showed such excessive politeness to her she was made very much aware that she was not of their exclusive world. George had been under no illusions as to the reason for the invitation, which he knew was solely motivated by the impecuniousness of their host and his own ability to alleviate that circumstance, and it was no surprise to him that the weekend had not come up to Lillian's expectations. But he was sorry for her and future invitations were not accepted.

Laura laughed now at her aunt's renewed efforts to dissuade her from the horrid prospect she envisaged. ‘I shall scarcely be out on the moors all day, I shall be working for most of the time in a comfortable library.'

‘Cataloguing books, yes! Is this all your education has been for?' cried Lillian, doing an about-face. She had known no good could come of it, though she had known Laura too well to do more than tokenly object: opposition was only too likely to strengthen her resolve. In private, she had confidently asserted to her husband, ‘She'll never stick it for more than a month or two at most, mark my words, George.'

George had by no means been so sure. Women were very different now from what they had been in Lillian's younger days, and in general he supported the idea that they should be well informed and educated if they so wished, though he had his doubts when it came to some of these fearsomely clever New Women, riding bicycles in bloomers and demanding the vote. But he believed that the very fact that Laura had set her mind on this course would make her see it through.

‘I did think that when you left that college,' Lillian continued with a sigh, ‘I might have more of your company. But I suppose you'll do as you wish, as usual.'

‘Oh, really, I don't know what all the fuss is about.' Laura was beginning to feel exasperated. ‘I shall be here, back home, long before the end of summer.'

‘We would never have been allowed to do this sort of thing when I was a girl. Going to goodness knows where, doing heaven knows what. You'll be joining Eva Carfax and
those women
next.'

‘I've no intention of joining Eva,' Laura replied shortly. Philip's sister was her oldest and dearest friend, and they had few secrets from each other. At the moment, however, Laura was finding Eva, with her frustrated ambitions to become a journalist and her new-found enthusiasm for the Women's Movement, a little too intense. The Women's Social and Political Union which she had joined came up ‘at every verse end' as Philip said, and Laura was in truth as glad of the respite from her as her brother was, since she had been ordered to accompany their widowed father on his recuperative trip to Bath. ‘Oh, do buck up, Aunt! I shall be home again directly, and meanwhile I shall do perfectly well, trust me.' She fastened those clear, candid hazel eyes of hers on her aunt's face and smiled. Lillian did not feel reassured.