THE CURSE OF BRAHMA (9 page)

Ugrasena paused to wipe a tear from his eyes. Kansa waited for the narration to continue, not daring to breathe as his mind struggled to comprehend what would have happened next.

‘I reached Vidarbha the next day, and upon hearing of the king’s death, and Padmavati’s condition, I rushed to her chambers. I was shocked at seeing her condition. She was pale as death. Seeing me, she took hold of my hand, and crazed with grief, she asked me, ‘Did you come to Vidarbha yesterday? Say you were here…say it.’ Not knowing what she meant, I shook my head as I told her I had just reached Vidarbha. At that she screamed once in unbearable agony and her body went into a series of terrible convulsions. I summoned the royal vaid, who arrived immediately and gave her some medicine to calm her and make her sleep. I sat by her side through the night. She was mumbling incoherently all through the dark hours. That made me increasingly concerned for her. More than once she maniacally mumbled the words “betrayed” and “revenge” in her sleep. It was all unclear to me and I was beginning to realize that there was something other than her father’s death that was plaguing her. The next day, when she got up, she looked physically better but she seemed to have lost her natural effervescence. Despite my repeated entreaties, she refused to explain what was affecting her so acutely. After a few days, I too gave up and let her be. By now, I had been at Vidarbha for more than a month, and was keen to return to Madhuvan with Padmavati. The events related to King Satyaketu’s last rites were also long done and there was no reason to stay there any longer.

‘The night before we were to depart for Madhuvan, Padmavati’s chief attendant came to me and told me the queen requested my presence in the garden. I was pleasantly surprised as Padmavati had not shown much inclination to talk to me or anyone else since my arrival at Vidarbha, and in the past one month, we had barely exchanged a few words. I quickly moved in the direction of the palace garden, excited to meet Padmavati and talk to her. She was sitting alone in the darkest corner of the grounds, and had her back towards me. I gently tapped her on her shoulder to announce my presence. She turned around in shock, as if she were expecting someone else. I was aghast at her appearance. Her hair was untied and she had a wild look in her eyes. Her normally lovely face was white as a sheet and every aspect of her persona exuded fear and some kind of revulsion that I couldn’t quite understand. I was shocked at how she looked, and bending down on my knees, I took her hands in my own. “What’s the matter, my love? What is troubling you?” I asked her gently. She looked me in my eyes then and seemed to draw some strength from deep within her. She whispered, “I am pregnant, Ugrasena.” I looked at her. My expression was a mixture of surprise, happiness and confusion. “Are you sure, my queen?” I asked softly. Then, looking at her fearful expression, I said, “But that’s great news, Padmavati. We are having a child.” Her face betrayed her inner turbulence, but she quelled it in a final attempt to speak what had to be spoken. “This thing…it is not yours!” I stared at her, my mind a raging vacuum of bewildered thoughts. “But…how…why?” I managed to ask. She had a faraway look in her eyes, as she told me, in a monotone, what had happened that night in the forests of Puspavan. I listened in silence, my anger and disgust at the Gandharva’s deceit growing with the passing of each moment. When she came to the point where she got up in the morning and found herself alone, believing me to have left her in the forest by herself, I couldn’t hide my anger at the Gandharva’s act. But my compassion for Padmavati overshadowed whatever anger I may have felt for Dramil in that instant and I held her in a close embrace. We stayed like that for a few minutes, till Padmavati’s ragged breathing became a little normal.’

‘But how could Mother be sure the child wasn’t yours?’ Kansa asked embarrassed at discussing this with his father. ‘I mean, couldn’t she have conceived the child before…before she met Dramil that day in the forest?’ he continued haltingly.

Ugrasena looked closely at his eldest son. He knew the next few moments would decide how Kansa viewed him for the rest of his life. He was torn between speaking the truth and hiding the reality between half-truths. In the end, his kshatriya upbringing that prevented him from prevaricating even in matters such as this, made him share the facts as they were. ‘The last time Padmavati and I shared the same bed was just before she left for Vidarbha. That was a month before she met Dramil. After, I reached Vidarbha, for the entire period of a month that we were there, we did not have any physical relations, out of respect for her father’s recent demise and also because she seemed very disturbed. The only time she was intimate with anyone in those two months, was with Dramil that night,’ Ugrasena paused as he let his words sink in. ‘No, the child was definitely born out of her contact with Dramil.’

‘What happened after she told you about that event?’ Kansa asked, his mind abounding with myriad confused thoughts.

‘We left Vidarbha the next day. Padmavati wanted to abort the child in Vidarbha but I felt it should be done in Madhuvan where we could keep the entire story secret. Immediately after reaching Madhuvan, I summoned the royal vaid and took him into confidence. The last several generations of his family had been in service of the royal family, and I knew I could trust him to keep the matter confidential. However, as fate would have it, when the royal vaid examined your mother, he announced that it was not possible to carry out the abortion without risking Padmavati’s life. While Padmavati tried to persuade the physician to carry out the abortion irrespective of the danger, he was unrelenting and he told her it could not be done. I finally persuaded Padmavati to wait till the delivery was complete before taking any action. Eight months after we reached Madhuvan, Padmavati gave birth to a male child. The first thing she did when she woke up after the surgery was to ask for the child she had delivered. Her personal attendants quickly carried the baby to her bed and handed over the child to her.’

‘So Mother finally had some warm feelings for the baby?’ Kansa asked quietly. Ugrasena ignored the question and continued.

‘Holding the newborn baby in her hands, she looked into his eyes. And then muttering something that to her attendants sounded like “revenge”, she threw the child to the ground with all the force she could muster. The horrified attendants rushed to the child, dreading that he was dead with the force of the fall. But to their surprise and relief, the child lay on the ground unharmed, and alive. Padmavati tried snatching him away from the attendant holding it, but the other attendants, fearing their queen had gone insane, held her back. One of them rushed to me and told me what had happened. I hurried to where Padmavati was and upon reaching there, was greeted by a sight that I would never wish to see again. Padmavati held a sharp knife in her hand, a surgeon’s knife, and she had an expression of such repugnant hate writ over her face that even I, who loved her so much, was shocked and scared at the malevolence exuding out of her. The attendant holding the child was cowering in one corner of the room, bravely trying to protect the baby, but fearing for her own life. I moved towards Padmavati, speaking gently to her to try and calm her. At the same time, I motioned to the attendant to leave the room, along with the baby. Padmavati hurled herself towards the retreating figure, but I held her in my arms while the baby was safely led away. Padmavati screamed and cursed with all her might, and then gradually, the rage ebbed as she sagged in my arms. Then she put her palms against my face and whispered, “Ugrasena…that thing…it is evil incarnate! Kill it…promise me it shall never grow up to deceive another woman such as I was deceived by its father!” Saying this, she fainted, lost in the effects of the rage and pain that had consumed her completely.’