The Curse of Captain Cross-eyed (5 page)

On the window ledge a one-eared cat snoozed, totally ignoring the parrot that danced about from foot to foot cackling, “Walk the plank, matey. Walk the plank.”

Captain Cross-eyed held up his hook and the parrot flew onto it. “This is Olly,” he smiled. “He's a terrible thief. Watch your pockets or he'll pinch your money.”

“Pieces of eight. Pieces of eight,” cackled Olly.

But it was the fourth wall that really interested me. It was covered with portraits of fierce-looking pirates. They didn't look a bit like our family, though Gran can be a bit grumpy sometimes.

Captain Cross-eyed followed my gaze. “Some of my ancestors were pirates,” he explained. “Let's have tea and I'll tell you all about them.”

I couldn't wait.

We sat around the big gunpowder table.
Olly hopped on to my shoulder. I could feel his sharp claws through my sweater and, when he moved, his soft feathers tickled my cheek.

The cat, who was called Scarface Jack, turned out to be a real softie, and let Ellie stroke his head. I just hoped she wouldn't nibble his one remaining ear.

“Have a dead-men's-eyes biscuit, Jonny,” smiled Captain Cross-eyed, holding out a large scallop-shell plate.

I took one and had a nibble. Then I took a bigger bite. Dead-men's-eyes biscuits tasted like chocolate-chip cookies to me.

After that, we had black-spot cakes. They had a chocolate button on the top, and were just like my mum's fairy cakes. Then, according to Captain Cross-eyed, we washed it all down with the blood of an ancient mariner. Funny how their blood tasted the same as Coke.

When we were full, Captain Cross-eyed sat back and started to tell us all about the portraits. “That's Captain Cross-fingers,” he said, pointing to a black-bearded pirate. “He was a great storyteller and could weave fantastic tales. But he also told enormous porkies, which got him into lots of trouble.”

“Like some of your excuses for being late, Jonny,” grinned Surinder.

“Shush,” I nudged him, in case Dad heard.

“Then there is Captain Cross-arms,” said Captain Cross-eyed, indicating a red-haired lady, who had a moustache and tattoos. “She wouldn't take any nonsense from anyone.”

“Sounds a bit like Miss Dodds,” said Sara.

“Looks a bit like Miss Dodds, too,” I grinned.

“Who's the chap with the treasure map?” asked Dad.

“Ah,” said Captain Cross-eyed. “That's Captain Cross. He was a grumpy old man, but brilliant at reading maps. He found lots
of treasure, usually other people's, which he pinched.”

“I've met loads of people like that in my job,” said Dad. “I broke my leg chasing a bunch of thieves.”

“But at least that's exciting,” said Captain Cross-eyed. “The chasing bit, I mean, not the broken leg. My job's not exciting at all. Nothing much ever happens in the sausage factory. I'd love to be a pirate like my ancestors, but there's not much call for them these days.” He looked so sad that Ellie, who had been climbing on and off the little barrel tables with Scarface Jack, came over and offered him her pink rabbit.

That made Captain Cross-eyed smile. Then he got out his tin whistle and played some pirate tunes for Olly to dance to.

All too soon, Mum arrived to take us home. We said goodbye to Captain Cross-eyed,
waved Sara and Surinder off on their bikes, and got into the car.

My mind was in a whirl with everything I'd seen.

“You're very quiet, Jonny,” said Mum. “Didn't you enjoy the pirate tea?”

“Tea,” said Ellie, before I could reply. “Tea.”

“You've just had tea, Ellie,” said Mum. “You can't be hungry.”

“Actually, she didn't eat anything at all,” said Dad. “She was too busy playing.”

I'd noticed that, too. Which was why I was being so quiet. My brain was working overtime. Ellie had enjoyed playing in the pirate house, and Captain Cross-eyed really wanted to be more like his pirate ancestors. I smiled. I thought I might just know a way to help them both…

On Sunday night, when I was supposed to be doing my homework, I drew a picture of all the things that were buzzing through my head. I put the picture into my rucksack and showed it to Sara and Surinder the next day.

“A big pirate ship in the park!” they exclaimed. “That would be great.”

“I'm sure Captain Cross-eyed could set it up,” I said. “And look, we could have all sorts of activities, like rope climbing and…”

“Walking the plank,” said Surinder.

“Fighting off enemy ships,” said Sara.

“Hammock swinging,” said Surinder.

“Treasure hunting,” said Sara.

I grinned. They were getting the idea.

Later, Dad got the idea, too. “A pirate ship with pirate activities?” he said thoughtfully. “That would certainly be fun for the children round here. It would keep them fit, too.”

“It would let Captain Cross-eyed be a real pirate, like his ancestors.”

Dad smiled. “And give me something to organise while I'm off work with this broken leg. Good thinking, son.” Then he hobbled off, whistling, to make a few phone calls.

“Well done,” whispered Mum. “I haven't seen your dad so cheerful in ages.”

A few days went by and Dad was so busy we hardly saw him. Then he announced that he and I were going back to visit Captain Cross-eyed. “We have some pirate matters to discuss,” he grinned.

The captain was just polishing off his tea of fish fingers when we arrived.

“I hate sausages,” he grinned. “What can I do for you?”

“Tell him, Jonny,” said Dad.

I explained my idea about the pirate ship in the park.

Captain Cross-eyed looked doubtful. “It sounds wonderful, but…”

“Dad thinks it can be done,” I said.

“Over the last week I've spoken to a lot of people who are willing to help,” nodded Dad. “The council, local businesses, parents… They all think it's a fantastic idea.”

“I would love to do it,” said Captain Cross-eyed. “The children could take part in all kinds of activities, even sword fights. We'd use wooden swords, of course. And we could have barrels to crawl through and climb over and…”

Captain Cross-eyed had got the idea, too. Then he and Dad sat down and made lists of all the things they would need to set it up while I played with Olly and Scarface Jack.

“How did Scarface Jack lose his ear?” I asked. “I bet it was in a fight with another pirate cat. I bet the other cat slunk away when he realised that Scarface Jack would fight to the death, even if he only had one ear, or one eye, or one paw left.”

“It might have been like that,” grinned Captain Cross-eyed. “Or he might have been born with only one ear, and I might have got him from the cat rescue centre because no one else wanted him. But that could be our secret. I like your story better.”

I liked Captain Cross-eyed.

I also liked the speed at which my dad got things done. Before long, there was a lot of hammering and banging going on in the park. A big, wooden pirate ship took shape, with rope ladders snaking down its sides and a Jolly Roger flag fluttering at its mast. The name
Silver Arrow
was painted on its prow, and a large plank fixed near the stern.