The Dangerous Passion: Why Jealousy Is as Necessary as Love and Sex (37 page)

Bram Buunk, a professor at the University of Groningen: Buunk
Hupka, 1987.

Dozens of other studies verify the conclusion: White
Mullen, 1989.

Only later did she realize: Seeman, 1979, p. 356.

His wife was simply standing by the stove: Sommers, 1988, p.
160.

In Greece, for example, a man’s reputation is threatened:
Safilios-Rothschild, 1969, pp. 78–79.

People from the United States and Germany: Buss, 1994.

The anthropologist John Marshal Townsend: Townsend, 1995.

Here is what one woman reported: Townsend, 1998, p. 12.

As Townsend concludes: Townsend, 1995, p. 173.

On a 7-point scale: Buss, 1989b.

In this study of 530 men and women: Shackelford, Buss,
Bennett, 1999.

Verbal reports are reasonable sources of data: Buss et al.,
1992.

So my research collaborators and I conducted four studies: Buss
et al., 1999; see also Wiederman Allgeier, 1993, for studies that confirm
the evolutionary explanation when pitted against social learning theory
explanations.

They concluded that “contrary to the double-shot explanation”:
Wiederman Kendall, 1999.

These and similar sex differences have now been replicated:
Buunk et al., 1996; for the Swedish replication, see Wiederman Kendall,
1999; for the Chinese studies, see Geary et al., 1995; see also Mills
Catalanotti, 1997, for another empirical refutation of the double-shot
hypothesis.

“I think the everyday kind of jealousy”: Viorst, 1998, p. 21.

For committed romantic relationships: see Bringle, 1995, for a
summary of the evidence.

The evolutionary anthropologist William Jankowiak: Jankowiak,
Hill, Donovan, 1992.

One study found that gay men: Blumstein Schwartz, 1983.

One study compared 113 homosexual men: Hawkins, 1990.

Robert Bringle of Purdue University in Indianapolis: Bringle,
1995.

A team of Dutch psychologists led by Pieternel Dijkstra: Dijkstra
et al., 1998.

Michael Bailey of Northwestern University: Bailey et al., 1994.

On July 30, 1771, a man named Werther: Schmitt, 1988.

He seems to have little ill-humor: Goethe, 1970, pp. 29–30.

This preference does not diminish: Buss, 1994; Townsend
Levy, 1990; Wiederman Allgeier, 1992.

Furthermore, since violence has been a recurrent problem: Buss,
1994; Ellis, 1992.

Pieternel Dijkstra and Bram Buunk conducted a study: Dijkstra
Buunk, in press.

To answer this question, my colleagues Jae Choe: Buss et al., in
press.

One of the most vivid demonstrations: Nelson, 1995.

The qualities of dangerous rivals: Nelson, 1995, p. 80.

Cars and cellular phones signal status: Nelson, 1995, p. 80.

“Lucky’s babymother had a grudge feeling”: Nelson, 1995, pp.
80–82.

In Samoa, a culture: Mead, 1931.

Larry and his wife, Susan, had been happily married for three
years: Sommers, 1988.

A man named Paul purchased a trendy new overcoat: Eskapa, 1984;
cited in Sommers, 1988, p. 179.

Her case was sufficiently interesting: Cobb, 1979, p. 513.

Martie Haselton of the University of Texas: Haselton Buss,
in press; Haselton, Buss, DeKay, 1998; see also Schlager, 1995.

To explore just how uncertain people really are: Paul, Foss,
Galloway, 1993.

In one study of British men: Moulton, 1975.

“A boy, a man, on a date, is in competition”: Van den Berghe,
1979, p. 219.

In a survey of the so-called Standard Sample: Broude
Greene, 1976, p. 417.

Armadillo left his house to wander about through the woods:
Gregor, 1985, p. 138.

These include
maiyala euti,
which means “the penis is
tired”: Gregor, 1985, p. 139.

These are described with the term
japujate euti:
Gregor, 1985, p. 139.

One was due to the loss of sexual desire entirely: Vauhkonen,
1968.

One man reported: Todd Dewhurst, 1955, p. 371.

Another case involved a 68-year-old man: Richardson, Malloy,
Grace, 1991.

As Jed Diamond, author of the book
Male Menopause,
noted: Diamond, quoted in Warga, 1999, p. 315.

The sexologist Krafft-Ebing was the first to report:
Krafft-Ebing, 1905.

A study in 1968 revealed: Vauhkonen, 1968.

Paul Mullen found in 1985 that only 11 percent of his sample of
138 alcoholics: Mullen Maack, 1985.

A 1991 study in Germany of 93 cases of “delusional jealousy”:
Soyka, Naber, Volcker, 1991.

By far the most systematic study: Shrestha et al., 1985.

Alcohol is clearly linked with potency problems: Whalley, 1978.

Women may develop an “aversion”: Krafft-Ebing, 1905, p. 514.

In one case, an aging man started to become concerned:
Langfeldt, 1961, p. 33.

His psychiatrist was unable to contain the man’s jealousy:
Retterstol, 1967, p. 99.

Treatment was unsuccessful: Langfeldt, 1961, pp. 26–27.

The therapist of one couple: Retterstol, 1967, p. 104.

In my study of 107 married couples: Buss, 1994.

A recurrent thought among men: Shrestha et al., 1985, p. 284.

In one case, a married man 43 years old: Todd Dewhurst,
1955, pp. 367–368.

Individuals who differ in desirability: Hatfield, Traupmann,
Walster, 1979.

Although they both age chronologically at the same rate: Symons,
1979.

Simultaneously, the man’s elevated status: Betzig, 1986; Buss,
1994; Holmberg, 1950; Symons, 1979.

As Donald Symons notes: Symons, 1979, pp. 238–239.

With the approach of the menopause: Todd Dewhurst, 1955,
p. 371.

Another woman, age 44: Langfeldt, 1961, pp. 30–31.

As Claire Warga, author of
Menopause and the Mind:
Warga, 1999, p. 7.

Consider the following case of a woman: Seeman, 1979, p. 351.

Oscar Wilde asserted: cited in Enoch Trethowan, 1979, p.
46.

In fact, the theory predicts a counterintuitive result: see
Hatfield et al., 1979; Tooby Cosmides, 1990.

This is especially true when the husband experiences
professional success: Buss, 1994; Holmberg, 1950.

As therapist Mary Seeman noted: Seeman, 1979, p. 354.

In these cases, when questioned about the sexual fantasies:
Seeman, 1979, p. 355.

A married couple initially well matched: Buss, 1987; Buss et
al., 1990.

Although systematic large-scale studies of illness and jealousy:
Breitner Anderson, 1994.

Prior to Parkinson’s disease: Breitner Anderson, 1994, p.
704.

In ancestral times, a man’s aging and ill health: Buss, 1994;
Buss et al., 1990.

Those who are lower in desirability: Critelli Wade, 1980;
Hatfield et al., 1979; Kenrick, 1994; Kenrick et al., 1993; Symons, 1979;
Thiessen Gregg, 1980; Tooby Cosmides, 1990; White, 1980, 1981a,
1981b.

The people who believed that they were superior: Hatfield et
al., 1979.

These circumstances trigger: Tooby Cosmides, 1990.

The less attractive partner, in contrast: Frank, 1988.

In one study of 220 married couples: Hansen, 1985.

Scenario 1: “Your mate returns from a business trip”: Hansen,
1985, p. 267.

Scenario 2: “Your mate has developed an ongoing emotional and
sexual relationship”: Hansen, 1985, p. 267.

The overwhelming majority of vivid memories: Thorne, 1998.

In the most detailed study, psychiatrists John Docherty and Jean
Ellis: Docherty Ellis, 1976.

His jealousy began when his wife: Docherty Ellis, 1976, p.
681.

Each man had developed a heightened sensitivity: Marks, 1987.

In one case, a man showed absolutely no indications: Mullen
Maack, 1985, p. 114.

She had left him two years earlier because he was unfaithful:
Todd Dewhurst, 1955, p. 370.

One study of 36 agoraphobic women explored this: Hafner, 1979.

When the therapist recontacted the couple a year later: Hafner,
1979, pp. 99–100.

The trouble started when he entered therapy: Turbott, 1981.

One morning, she felt “moisture on his penis”: Turbott, 1981, p.
167.

According to Shirley Glass: Shirley Glass, personal communication,
August 15, 1998; Laura Nitzberg, personal communication, 1992.

“Confess. You slept with him”: Zola, 1956/1890; quoted in
Mullen, 1990, p. 24.

The first case is told by a woman, age 19: Gelles Strauss,
1988, p. 132.

In a second case, “the wife, confronted with yet another round”:
White Mullen, 1989, p. 224.

“A lady saw a woman in the street”: White Mullen, 1989, p.
227.

Evidence has been cumulating for decades: Daly et al., 1982.

In one interview study of 44 battered wives: Miller, 1980.

In another study of 150 cases of women who were battered: Roy,
1977.

In a third study of 31 battered women in hostels and hospitals:
Rounsaville, 1978.

In 57 out of the 60 cases, the women reported: Hilberman
Munson, 1978, p. 461.

A fifth study found that 87 out of 101 battered women: Church,
1984.

More than a dozen studies have examined date violence: Sugarman
Hotaling, 1989.

As summarized by Sugarman and Hoteling: Sugarman Hotaling,
1989, p. 12.

“A particularly nasty husband might hit his wife”: Chagnon,
1992, p. 147, italics added.

“N/ahka, a middle-aged woman, was attacked by her husband”:
Draper, 1992, p. 54.

Paul Mullen of the University of Otago: Mullen Maack,
1985.

The psychologists John Gottman and Neil Jacobson: Jacobson
Gottman, 1998.

In a large study of more than 8,000 participants: Wilson
Daly, 1996.

The controversy was initiated in 1978: Steinmetz, 1978.

The controversy ignited: Gelles Strauss, 1988, p. 105.

Some research on date violence: Bookwala et al., 1992.

“When he hits me, I retaliate”: Gelles Strauss, 1988, p.
90.

“I know that look he gets when he gets ready to hit me”: Gelles
Strauss, 1988, p. 91.

A third case involved Francine Hughes: Gelles Strauss,
1988, p. 133.

According to sociologist R. N. Whitehurst: Whitehurst, 1971, p.
686.

As Neil Jacobson and John Gottman argue: Jacobson Gottman,
1998, pp. 55–56.

As a result of patriarchy, they continue: Jacobson
Gottman, 1998, pp. 268–269.

“Dad could get really mad”: Sammons, 1978, p. 43.

“Most duels start between two men”: Chagnon, 1983, p. 171.

Thousands of miles away from the Yanomamö: Hart Pilling,
1960.

Margo Wilson and Martin Daly speculate: Wilson Daly,
1993a, 1993b.

In a study of 100 women at a shelter for battered women:
Gayford, 1975, p. 195.

Some women respond to a man’s violence: Wilson Daly,
1993a, 1993b.

“I had been discussing the roots of wife battering”: W.
Zimmerman, personal communication, March 26, 1998.

One study interviewed a sample of battered women: Shields
Hanneke, 1983.

When the definition is broadened: Jason, Reichler, Easton, Neal
Wilson, 1984.

According to a research review: Tjaden, 1997.

The most extensive study of mate homicides: Wilson, Daly,
Wright, 1993.

In a study of 25 spousal homicides: Chimbos, 1978.

“She often called me a ‘damned mute’”: Chimbos, 1978, p. 52.

“Her infidelity really bothered me”: Chimbos, 1978, p. 52.

“She would humiliate me in front of others”: Chimbos, 1978, p.
53.

“You see, we were always arguing about her extramarital
affairs”: Chimbos, 1978, p. 54.

“We got married on a Saturday”: Chimbos, 1978, pp. 54–55.

Martin Daly and Margo Wilson compiled evidence: Daly, Wilson,
Weghorst, 1982.

Peter Chimbos conducted intensive interviews: Chimbos, 1978.

In one study of court records in the Sudan: Lobban, 1972.

In a study of Ugandan homicides: Tanner, 1970.

The most extensive cross-cultural study: Bohannan, 1960.

This is surely an underestimate of jealous homicides: Daly,
Wilson, Weghorst, 1982.

The second most extensive non-Western study: Sohier, 1959.

“Men . . . strive to control women”: Daly Wilson, 1988, p.
205; italics added.

They elaborate in a later publication: Wilson, Daly,
Daniele, 1995; italics added.

But sometimes the violence gets out of hand: Wilson Daly,
1993a, p. 281.

Joshua Duntley and I have proposed: Buss Duntley, 1998,
1999; Duntley Buss, 1998, 1999.

One Australian man, who killed his wife: Wallace, 1986, p. 120.

In another case, an Illinois man issued the following threat:
Wilson Daly, 1993b, p. 3.

As Daly and Wilson note: Daly, Wilson, Weghorst, 1982, p.
19.

Ironically, Wilson and Daly, the proponents: Wilson, Daly,
Wright, 1993.

Research conducted in three separate countries: Wilson
Daly, 1993b.

Here is what one Chicago woman declared: Wilson Daly,
1993b, p. 10.

It is clear that the laws on the books: Daly Wilson, 1988.

As Daly and Wilson state: Daly Wilson, 1988, pp. 193–194.

Among the Yapese, for example: Muller, 1917, p. 229.

According to the Texas penal code: Daly Wilson, 1988, p.
194.

In New Mexico and Utah until the 1970s: Le Fave Scott,
1972.

The killing of an adulterous wife used to be exempt: Blackstone,
1803, book 4, pp. 191–192.

As one legal scholar described this notion: Edwards, 1954, p.
900.

In Daly and Wilson’s study of spousal homicides: Daly
Wilson, 1988, p. 206.

First, women usually want men who are only a few years older:
Buss, 1989a.

Among the spousal homicides in Miami: Wilbanks, 1984.

The largest sample of spousal homicides: Wilson, Daly,
Wright, 1993.

A disturbing statistic attests to this conflict: Daly
Wilson, 1988.