The Darkest Pleasure (2 page)

It was on those dark nights in my single dorm room that I pictured him. He would lay me down, so gentle in every move he made. His hands slowly stripped off my nightgown, and ran smoothly and lovingly over my naked flesh. It was in those fantasies that I had lost my virginity a number of times.

I had never spoken of my imaginary lover with to Dr. Clay, afraid he would really think I had lost my mind and lock me up. I'm sure he would attribute my ‘lover’ to the need to feel protected, the need to feel loved. It always related back to my past, how I wasn't loved as a child, but he was wrong. My mother loved me dearly, showed me as much love as a mother could. I agreed with Dr. Clay in one respect, though. My dream lover was my protector, and had, on more than one occasion, saved my sanity. Every time I really thought about it, it did seem I was losing my mind, creating a man that fulfilled me sexually, as well as made me feel strong emotionally.

Clearing my mind, I saw road signs start to appear more frequently and knew I was almost to my destination. I was lucky to have found such a nice apartment on such short notice, and was eager to see if the pictures on the apartment buildings website were accurate. I tapped my finger on the steering wheel, trepidation and anticipation bouncing through me. My little Jeep Liberty was packed full of my belongings, as was the small U-Haul I was towing behind my car. The sun was setting, and I enjoyed the shifting colours in the sky.

Finally seeing some civilisation on the horizon, I rolled my window down and let the dusk breeze waft in. As locks of my hair obstructed my view and made me sputter, I was sorry I hadn't cut it before I left. But I liked my long tresses, and would hate to part with them for the convenience of this car ride. Frustrated, I rolled my window back up and regretted not being able to smell the fresh air.

A sign that Westerbrooke was a short five miles away flashed by me. I passed a few shops, and then came to what looked to be the centre of town. Sitting at the red stop light on the corner of Main Street and Third Avenue, I noted little shops scattered around a square of greenery with lush, well-manicured landscaping. The red light turned green and I made my way through the small town, periodically checking the directions I'd scribbled on a piece of paper.

I had no trouble finding the apartment building, since it appeared to be the only one in the town. It loomed ahead of me as I turned down Jackson Street and then again onto Clearpark Road. The first thing I noticed was that the building looked exactly like its picture on the website. I breathed a sigh of relief. I had secretly feared it would be a flop house.

The tidy red-brick building was located close to everything in town, and like the rest of Westerbrooke, it appeared to be immaculate. The apartment manager had sent me the key to my new home in the mail. Pulling it out of my purse, I clutched it in a suddenly-trembling hand as I made my way towards the front entrance. I was excited, but a little bit of fear coursed through me at the thought of starting my new life.

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I stopped at the front door and typed in the security code the manager had sent along with the key. The door gave a distinct buzz and a click, and I pulled it open. The cool air-conditioned air slammed into my face, making little goosebumps shoot up across my skin. My apartment was on the third floor and I was grateful the building had elevators. It would have been a real bitch trying to lug everything I owned up three flights of stairs.

On the third floor, I stepped out of the elevator and looked both ways. I hadn't realised how big the building was. The hall stretched on and on, covered in endless cream-coloured carpet. Taking a right, I followed it down until I reached my apartment—312. I stood for a moment, staring at the gold-plated numbers. My new home. Would it live up to my expectations?

Sliding the key in, I turned the knob and opened the door. The room was dim, with just the faintest rays of the setting sun coming through the picture window. Running my hand along the wall, I located the light switch and turned it on. Bright white light illuminated the room and I relaxed, just now realising I had been holding my breath. I was delighted to find it looked just like the website pictures. Setting my purse on the floor, I shut the door and explored my new surroundings. The front door opened into a small tiled hallway and branched off into a large living room. A big picture window sat off to the side in the living room, the kitchen located opposite. A small two-seater breakfast bar separated the kitchen from the living room. Walking through the kitchen, I touched everything, from the stove to the faucet. The smooth stainless steel appliances felt silky under my fingers as I skimmed them. If I had not gotten this job and the moving expenses from the company, there would have been no way in hell I could have afforded this place.

Moving down another small hallway, I switched on the light in the bathroom and looked inside. Everything was polished to perfection and smelled of cleaning products. Switching the light off, I went into the bedroom—the only bedroom. It was huge; my full-sized bed would no doubt look like a toddler bed. Maybe if I put larger pieces of furniture in the room, it might compensate? Walking across the room, I looked out the window and saw my car in the parking lot below. In fact, I could see the whole town from my room, everything from the grocery store to the hospital.

It was too late to start unpacking, so I set up a makeshift pallet on the living room floor and got ready for bed. It was eerily quiet, the emptiness of the rooms making every sound echo. I slipped into my pallet and lay there in the dark. I could hear faint sounds from the tenants above me, cars outside, and the bathroom faucet dripping. In the darkness that enveloped me, I thought of him. I closed my eyes, and my mind instantly conjured his face and then his glorious body.

He stood in the living room, a pair of loose-fitting jeans hanging from his narrow hips. His face was obscured by the shadows; only his brightly-lit eyes were visible. Though I couldn't see his mouth, I knew he was smiling at me. I lifted myself onto my elbows, my heart pounding loudly in my chest. He always had that effect on me, making butterflies flutter in my stomach, and causing my heart to beat in a tachy rhythm. He never spoke, but it didn't matter, his actions were loud enough. He slowly walked towards me, moving like a jungle cat, slow and sensual. I didn't move a muscle, knowing he loved to be in control.

Before I knew it, he was on his knees in front of me. I inhaled deeply, the scent of his cologne overwhelming my senses. His heavily muscled arms framed my body, his head slowly leaning towards mine. I opened my mouth slightly, my breathing quickening. He was so close; just an inch more and his firm lips would touch mine. His head dipped, his mouth kissing and licking the side of my neck. I let my head fall back, wanting him to touch as much of my skin as possible. He ripped away my nightgown, and my bare skin shivered as the cool air rushed over me. His roughened hand snaked its way up my ribs to encompass my breast. I sucked in a breath when his fingers skimmed my stiff nipple. I arched my back in response, my body heating up with arousal.

His mouth travelled down my neck and over my collarbone. His warm, wet mouth encased my nipple, sucking on it hard. I gasped at the exquisite feelings he produced. I moved my legs restlessly, my body craving to be filled. I wasn't wanton, but when I was with my dream lover, I felt free to be whoever, and whatever I wanted. I lifted my arms above my head and thrust my chest farther into his mouth. His hand travelled down my belly and rested right above my mound. He teased me, never quite getting to what he knew I desired most. I opened my legs, urging him wordlessly to place his hand where I wanted. He dipped his hand lower, skimming his fingers along my nether lips, gathering my moisture and spreading it around. Then he moved his big body lower until he was between my legs, his hot breath wafting over my sensitive clit. He licked my small bud, a swift flick, before he smoothed his tongue down my lips. Then, he dipped into my core, my inner muscles sucking him inside. I wanted him so badly, my whole body ached to be filled.

I ran my hands along his massive shoulders, feeling the silken skin over hard muscles. He spread me open with his fingers, his hot breath blowing along my labia and causing my clit to throb. The suction of his mouth on my clit had me panting, and I broke out in a light sweat. I was so close, my climax just a stroke away. He released my clit, the popping sound slowly registering in my ears. He moved from between my legs, and the sound of his zipper sliding down echoed in the quiet room. That part of his body was always hidden, and I cursed the fact that I could never see it. The hot, thick crown of his penis rubbed along my sex, running small circles along my clit. He leaned over me, one large hand by my head, as he placed his penis at my entrance. I lifted my hips, trying to impale myself on him. I was on fire, every cell inside of me alive with desire. I needed to feel him inside of me, to feel his thick length fill me. He ever so slowly pushed inside...

A horn honked in the parking lot and I snapped my eyes open. My fingers were poised on my clit; just a few more flicks would have sent me over the edge. I breathed out roughly, the light sheen of sweat already starting to cool on my body. I looked over at the window, mentally cursing the asshole in the car. I closed my eyes again, willing my dream lover to return, but to no avail. His image wouldn't appear.

A few days had passed and I couldn't believe it. I had most of my belongings unpacked, what few things I had, and the place was starting to feel like home. I was a little discouraged at the fact that I didn't have a couch or table, or any other large piece of furniture or appliance. I decided I needed to go out and furniture shop. I still had plenty of money left from the moving expenses my new employer had so generously given me. The fact that I hadn't even thought about what I'd need once I got here let me know my mind had been in the clouds. As I started to unpack yet another box of knickknacks, a light tap came from my front door. I had no food in the house, and for the past couple of days, I had to resort to ordering out. Making a mental note to go to the grocery store for the essentials, I got up and opened the door, reaching down to grab my purse at the same time. “Give me a minute,” I said. Grabbing my wallet, I straightened up and came face to face with a man who was most definitely not the delivery boy with my food. An impossibly tall and gorgeous man smiled down at me, his hand held out as if he wanted to shake mine. I stood there frozen, not knowing what to do, and feeling a little stupid that I was just staring at him. I watched as he raised an eyebrow and extended his hand slightly farther in my direction.

"Hi. I live a couple of doors down."

I grabbed his hand blindly and smiled back. Like an idiot, I leaned out and looked down the hall to where he was pointing out his apartment.

"Hello. I noticed you'd moved in, and I wanted to introduce myself. My name is Christian, Christian Masters."

"Uh, yeah, hi, sorry. I'm Ashliyn Michaels."

I felt stupid as I sputtered out my name, and could feel my cheeks getting hot with embarrassment. I had always hated that about myself—I could never talk to someone new without blushing like a gawky teenager. I knew he noticed my colouring since his smile broadened. I let myself take in his appearance. He was tall, much taller then my own 5'5". His hair was a sandy blond colour and hung haphazardly across his forehead. His eyes were a deep brown, and when he smiled, tiny laugh lines framed his mouth. I had never really taken note of men in particular—and never in a sexual sense, really—well, aside from my fantasy lover, but he was different...much different. I had always thought I was cold and frigid, had even thought there was something wrong with me."Well, just wanted to welcome you to the building and see if you needed any help unpacking."

I looked up at him and blinked in surprise. My mind suddenly went blank and I tried to think of something to say. “That's thoughtful of you, but I don't have much to unpack and I'm just about done."

He smiled again at me.

"Okay. If you change your mind, I'm just down the hall, apartment 316."

I absently nodded and stared at him. He probably thought I was strange, but I wasn't much of a people person and hadn't thought I'd be talking to people so quickly after moving in.

"Thanks."

I said the word softly, but he must have heard me as he lifted his hand in goodbye. I watched him walk away and into his apartment. Closing the door, I resumed my unpacking.

It was still pretty early when I finished an hour later, and after eating my take-out, I walked to the living room window. The sun was setting and I figured it was as good a time as any to go to the store and pick up what I needed. I was thankful I had a nice long week to myself before my new employer expected me to start work. It would really give me some time to settle in.

Finding a perfect spot in front of the store, I cut the engine and sat for a minute. The sun had already set, but there were still a surprising number of people coming and going. Grabbing my purse off the passenger seat, I got out and headed inside. The store wasn't a quaint mom and pop store I would have expected from this little town—it was one of the big chain stores. The automatic door slid open as I approached. Grabbing a shopping cart, I tossed my purse on the seat and made my way towards the first aisle. I scanned the shelves, periodically throwing in items I really didn't need, but just wanted so I could fill up my cupboards. Turning the corner, I made my way towards the wine and beer section. I didn't drink, but at the moment, a nice bottle of wine sounded appealing. I made sure I had my ID. Even though I was over the legal age to drink, I always got carded.

Stopping in front of the wine, I scanned the shelves. For a small town, I couldn't believe the alcohol selection they had. It was bewildering. I knew nothing about wine, aside from red or white. I grabbed a bottle of white wine and started to read the back label. The vineyard the wine came from gave the potential buyer a history of its lush grapes and green fields. It described how the wine would taste on the palate, and which foods would accompany it best, along with an incredibly extensive history. I didn't care how long the place had been in business, or if it had been passed down through the generations. All I wanted to know was if the wine was sweet or not—I liked my wine pretty darned sweet.