The Darkest Secret (22 page)

Besides, he had more pressing matters to deal with. Like Haidee's psycho boyfriend. How close was the son of a bitch?

Win,
Defeat said inside his head.
Win, win.
It wasn't a question this time. On any level.

Great. The boyfriend wasn't even here, but the challenge had been heard, accepted and must now be met.

“Pull over,” he told William for the second time that night.

“Why? There's no store.”

Kaia flicked Strider another glance and grinned. “Now there's the demon warrior I've come to know and love. He wants to set a trap, Willie, and we're going to help him.”

“Nope. I'm getting out and doing this solo,” Strider announced. William had people of his own to kill, and Strider didn't want to spend any more time with Kaia than necessary.

Her grin remained in place, though the edges darkened with an emotion he couldn't name. “Oh, really? Well, I seem to recall you telling me I'm worse than a stomach virus, and I think it's time I proved that. I'm challenging you to let me help you, Strider. I'm challenging you to hurt the bastard more than I do, and I'm challenging you to kill more of his men than I do.”

Fuck!
he thought, even as his demon started jumping around again. Nervous, excited. Okay, mostly nervous.

Win, win, win. Please, win.

Suddenly hating Kaia with every fiber of his being, Strider gave her a stiff nod. Game on, then. “When this is over,” he said softly, “I will make you pay.”

“I know,” she replied, and her tone was oddly subdued. “Believe me, I know.”

T
HOUGH TWO DAYS OF WALKING
and monotony had passed since they'd left their cave, and all Amun had been able to do was think and guard Haidee the few times he'd allowed her to stop and rest, he hadn't come to grips with what he'd once done to her. Or what had driven her to hate him and his friends, hate that led her to aid in Baden's destruction. No matter how good Amun's intentions had been, he'd still flung her right into an attacker's blade.

Gods. The blood pouring from her…the agony in her expression…

His friends only remembered bits and pieces of their time in ancient Greece. They knew they'd burned, pillaged and destroyed, but not specifics. Like who and what. Amun, however, recalled every detail. Or rather, Secrets wouldn't allow him to forget. Mysteries of that nature weren't ever allowed to remain unsolved, even within himself.

Very clearly Amun remembered the rage he'd felt as he had followed the Hunters to the nobleman's home. They'd had a particularly violent battle earlier that morning, before the Hunters had cut their losses and retreated. Having none of that, Amun and the others had followed them. The warriors had been sliced, diced and bleeding, and they'd been determined to annihilate those responsible.

What he hadn't pieced together then—the information lost in the tangle of everything else—but what he determined now, was that they'd been herded, purposely led into
that house. Not by the Hunters, but by the “he” who pulled their strings. Not the robed being Haidee had seen, but the “he” the Hunters had mentioned when they'd spotted the creature. “He” had known a demon would be there. “He” had wanted everyone inside that room to be slaughtered. Even his own people.

Galen, even then? Or the man who had “rescued” little Haidee and taught her to blame the Lords for her parents' deaths? The Bad Man? Amun might never know, and really, just then, he didn't care. No one's actions had been as despicable as his own.

He didn't deserve the woman behind him, the woman trudging without complaint through cavern after cavern simply to save him. He was responsible for the danger she now found herself in. He might be the cause of her next death.

A death she feared with every ounce of her being. Terror had filled those pearl-gray eyes when she'd spoken of her rebirths. Terror and residual pain, as if even speaking of the events had lanced her with an agony few in the world could even understand. She deserved peace and happiness, a family to cherish her.

Everything she'd ever loved had been taken from her. While his mind had been merged with hers, he'd sensed thousands of hidden memories—the memories she thought had been wiped. They were buried deep, secrets even from herself. His demon had reacted rapturously and now viewed her head as the Holy Grail. Secrets wanted back inside. Amun wanted back on top of her strong little body.

But he wouldn't touch her again, wouldn't deepen the already sizzling awareness between them. Because…damn it! He hated this line of thought, but he didn't allow himself to back away from it. This was part of his penance. He wouldn't touch her again because he was going to give her back to Micah.

Amun's fingers tightened around the blade hilts he held in both hands, and red dots flickered through his vision. Haidee wouldn't come to hate herself for being with Micah, a Hunter. She wouldn't wallow in guilt she shouldn't feel. She wouldn't lose the life she'd managed to build for herself.

With Amun, she
would
come to hate herself. How could she not? Giving herself to a Lord had to top her list of Things Never To Do. She
would
wallow in guilt, berating herself for choosing the very evil she'd fought against for so long. And she
would
lose the life she'd built. No way she could be with him and not cut ties with his enemy.

She must have sensed, or heard, the direction of his thoughts because she sighed, her cool breath wafting down his back. He'd removed his shirt, the heat too much, sweat constantly trickling over his flesh. If Haidee hadn't been with him, that wonderfully cool breeze wafting from her, enveloping him, he might have actually burst into flames.

“Can we talk now?” she said. “About what happened?”

Amun was willing to do anything she wanted. Except that. If he told her of his guilt, his regret, she would do everything in her power to ease him. No matter what she did, she would only increase his guilt, because she would be acting against her nature. The woman could nurse a grudge as stubbornly as his friends. Except with Amun. Him, she wanted to forgive. Him, she wanted to absolve. Him, she wanted to…love. He'd sensed the need inside her.

Because of the blood bond they shared?

“Amun?”

No.

“So stubborn,” she said,
tsking
under her tongue. “Fine. Let's talk about something else, then.”

No.

“Please.”

As strong as he was, he was helpless against that word.
Very well. What do you wish to discuss?

“You know some of my secrets, but I don't know any of yours. Will you tell me something that no one else knows about you?”

Had his friends heard that question, they would have rolled their eyes and snorted, certain Haidee was playing Bait, trying to learn everything she could about him to share with the Hunters. And they would have shaken Amun had they realized he planned to answer anyway. That he actually trusted her.

Her, the only person in the world his demon couldn't read automatically. Her, the only person in the world who could read him.

Point me in the right direction. What type of secret would you like?

She inhaled sharply, as if she hadn't expected him to respond. Then she expelled the breath with a torturous slowness that caused the sweat on his back to freeze. Rather than numb him, that ice reminded him of her touch, and his shaft twitched in anticipation.

Perhaps you should increase the distance between us,
he said. He wouldn't turn around, wouldn't look at her to see how she took his request.
Just in case you trip. You don't want to slam into me, do you?

“If I trip, I need to be
closer
to you. You'd prevent a face-plant.”

Logical. Damn it. He increased his pace. So did she. A few minutes ticked by in silence. Sometimes he felt as if he was walking in circles, the cave widening, then narrowing, then widening again, leading up, then down, but never actually taking him anywhere. But there was no other direction to take. This was it.

They snaked a corner, and still Haidee remained silent. Tension bloomed as he considered everything she could ask him. Details about his last lover. His plans for her, the future.

You have yet to point me in the right direction, Haidee.

“I'm thinking.” Speaking must have distracted her because she tripped, stumbling right into him, her breasts pressing into his back. She huffed. “See? Saved from a face-plant.”

The stinging arousal that next consumed him made a mockery of the twitching that had come before. He wanted her to reach around and wrap her fingers around his erection. Stroke him up and down. Perhaps step in front of him, drop to her knees and suck him deep.

Of course, she straightened, ending the contact but not the fantasy.

A moan nearly escaped him.
Don't think like that,
he commanded himself.

“Like what?” she asked, confused.

Gods, he had to be more careful.
Sorry. The command was for myself.

“Why? What were you thinking about?”

No way he'd tell her. No damn way.
What secret would you like from me?

A moment passed before she said, “That. I want to know what you were thinking about.”

Should have expected that. He could have refused her, but he didn't. She had requested, he had agreed, and he would do as promised. Still. He couldn't speak about what he'd been imagining without begging her to truly do it.
I'll have to show you.
If he could.

“Okay.”

When he had lived in the heavens, a minor goddess had performed the act on him, once, only once, and he had
loved every moment of it. Sadly, no one had ever done it since. Maybe because he'd never been able to ask for it, and when he'd tried to angle his few lovers into that position, they had resisted. He was big, so he'd understood their reservations and hadn't pressed.

So, before Haidee, the time with the goddess had been the best sexual experience of his life. Just thinking about Haidee sucking his shaft, however, was even better than that.

“I'm waiting,” Haidee sang.

And she had called
him
stubborn.
Very well, sweetheart. Just remember, you asked for this.
He pushed the vision out of his mind and into hers, praying it worked.

It worked. She gave another sharp intake of breath, this one shaky around the edges. “Amun,” she said on a moan.

A moan of need?

Even as they continued to march forward, her hands slid up his back, then around his sides…playing with his nipples… Her breasts once again smashed into him, but this time her fingers traced a path down…down…
Holy hell.
She would do it, he thought, awed and guilty and so aroused his hunger and need were probably seeping from his skin. She would give him what he wanted, without any hesitation. Right here, right now.

He would have to stop her, couldn't let her—she rubbed his cock through his pants, and his lips parted on a silent groan. He couldn't stop her, would let her—

“I've thought about this, too,” she said huskily.

He licked his lips.
You have?

“Oh, yes. You are a beautiful man, and just looking at you arouses me. You're all I think about anymore. All I crave.”

Oh, gods. He was going to spill. She'd done nothing but stroke him, and he was going to spill.
Haidee, I—

One moment they were surrounded by the rocky walls of the cave, hearing the
drip, drip
of water, the harsh rasp of their breathing, and the next they were encompassed by absolute darkness and utter silence, by sensory deprivation.

“Amun?” Her voice was shaky and soft, but there. Thank the gods, he could still hear her voice. “What just happened?”

They'd entered the Realm of Shadows, he realized, dread joining ranks with his lingering desire. Finally. Progress. Damn the timing, though.

Amun stopped abruptly. Haidee stumbled into him, but his body absorbed the impact. So good, even then. More than hearing her, he could feel her. They weren't so deprived, after all. He reached back to steady her, careful not to let his blade touch her.

“What's going on?” she whispered.

He moved his grip to her wrist and drew her hand to his mouth, pressing a quick kiss into the wild flutter of her pulse.
Do you remember what the scroll said?

The scroll from the backpack. She'd asked for instructions on how to successfully navigate the next realm, and the backpack had provided them. Only, the instructions had been convoluted and asinine.

~You must see~

See through the shadows? Sure. His pleasure. He'd taken the scroll from her as he'd wondered how. A flashlight? Shockingly, the moment the question had formed in his mind, ink had begun dripping over the paper, new words forming.

~All of you~

Another convoluted answer. Still. He'd demanded the backpack provide him with a light source that would push through the darkness, but nothing had filled the pack. Which had to mean a flashlight wouldn't work. Which
also had to mean the pack could not provide “all of you.” And that had to mean he already had “all of you,” whatever it was, because the pack was here to help them and wouldn't leave them in the lurch.

He'd then returned his attention to the scroll and demanded to know what awaited them in the shadows if they failed to find the mysterious,
all of you
light. Once again, ink had dripped down the tattered, yellow page.

~Death~

Then he'd demanded to know what “all of you” meant.

~All of you~

Funny. All of him—his body, perhaps?

“We must see. We must use all of you, or us,” Haidee said, words trembling from her and bringing him back to the present. “I still don't know what that means.”

Him either, but he didn't tell her that.
Keep your fingers hooked on my belt loop. Whatever happens, we can't be separated.

“All—all right.”

When she complied, removing her free hand from his still burning erection, he released her other one and gingerly started forward. He kept his arms outstretched, hoping to feel his way.

Soon he noticed that as quickly as the darkness had arrived, it was dissipating in spots, leaving little pockets of light. Would have been wonderful, except shadows danced around the light—and those shadows had fangs.

Something sharp sliced into his arm, and he mentally cursed. He shoved Haidee into one of those golden beams, but the beam moved several inches away, returning her to the dark. Something else sliced into his arm. The fangs, he was sure. They must have gotten Haidee, too, because she stiffened, moaned.

Damn this!

What should I do?
he demanded of his demon, abandoning thoughts about “all of you.” They'd gotten him nowhere. As Strider would say, the backpack and scroll could suck it.

At first, Secrets remained silent, still. Sleeping? Now? Or was Amun's other half still beaten to the back of his mind with the others? But the demon must have been searching for answers because suddenly Amun knew to follow the light. The shadows weren't allowed to touch—or bite—anything in the center of those glowing pools.

He watched the macabre dance of light and dark for a moment, enduring several more nibbles, until Secrets locked on a pattern.