The Darkness Within (8 page)

“Mm, I bet.” She remembered those cold eyes, his dangerous energy. “You’re good at it. A natural entertainer.”

His fingers moved in an automatic way, finishing the pile. “There’s a particular satisfaction you get when you make people happy, when you can surprise them.” He surprised her by handing her the stack. “You won’t be able to go home until Elgin is dead. You’ll stay here until then. This is for clothes and whatever else you need.”

What she needed couldn’t be bought: her mother home safe.

Tucker.

She blinked at the thought. She took the stack, their fingers brushing. “Why are you doing all this? You could have—should have—told me to get lost.”

He got up from the bed and set the box on the end of the long dresser. “I couldn’t turn you away, much as I wanted to. I meant what I said earlier; you gave me a safe, stable home for the first time, made me feel worthwhile. I decided to help you because I owe you and her for that. I own my home outright, pay taxes, am a generally upstanding citizen. That’s because of you.”

She stood, intending to go to her room, but her body wouldn’t go past him. “You don’t owe us.” She gestured to his room, the house in general. “You’ve done well with your life, which you would have done even if you hadn’t come into our lives. That’s who you are. I’m proud of you. Of who you’ve become.” She wanted to touch him, her fingers flexing with her need.

Apparently he sensed it. “It’s not smart, you being in my bedroom with me.”

“I know. I can’t seem to make myself leave.”

She put her hand on his chest, her palm pressing against his skin. He flattened his hand over hers, and in that moment she could see every hurt he’d suffered shadow his eyes. Then they shuttered, and he curled his fingers over hers and pulled her hand away.

“Don’t touch me, Del. Don’t ask if I love someone else with that look on your face that makes me think you’re scared I’m going to say yes. Don’t look at me like you want to save my soul.”

“Your soul doesn’t need saving. All I want to do is try to take away some of the pain my mom and I caused.” She ran her hands over his hair, his face. “Would it help to know how my heart was torn out, too? How I cried every night for weeks, worried about you, looked for you. How I tried to make it better with every child I helped. How I never found anyone who made me feel like I did with you.”

She pulled his hand to her mouth, kissing the back of it, the ridges of his veins, his knuckles, watching him crumble bit by bit. His eyes closed, and he tilted his head back. Then he pulled her into his arms, and she heard an agonized groan come from somewhere in his chest.

Her cheek came to rest against his chest and her hands went around his strong back. She could breathe for the first time in what felt like hours, since those texts. He held her stiffly, as though he didn’t trust himself to relax into it.

She leaned closer against him. His arms went around her and pulled her closer. His jaw rested on her head, and his fingers flexed against her shoulders enough that she could feel it through the robe.

“Go,” he said, his voice throaty, hoarse against the top of her head. But he made no move to release her.

“You’re afraid you’ll fall into some dark abyss, that you’ll fall to your Darkness.”

She felt him nod.

He said, “You saw what I am. If I let myself go there, I will feel like you are mine. You’re already in me.”

She stepped back, looking at him. He was beautiful, even in his pain, because she saw his longing, recognized it because it burned in her. “I’m leaving.” But she didn’t move away either.

Instead, she leaned forward and touched her mouth to his. He kissed her, tenderly, his thumbs rubbing at her jawline, down the sides of her throat. She was sixteen again, sinking into that innocent, yet not-so-innocent time in the living room, kissing in a rainfall of money. Her hands slid down his back, absorbing the feel of him, wishing she could sink right into him.

She untied the belt of her robe, letting it slide over her shoulders and fall to the floor. The cool air stippled her skin, but the heat of his gaze warmed her from the inside.

He cherished her with his eyes, taking her in, tracing his fingers down her collarbone, down the inside of the curve of her breast, and down her stomach. “Del,” he whispered, kissing her again, more fervently now. He ran his hands down her backside, cupping her ass and squeezing her to pull her harder against him.

Even through the jeans, she could feel the hard ridge of him. “Let me love you, Tuck,” she murmured between kisses.

He unzipped his jeans and shoved them to the floor. She closed her eyes at the feel of his naked body against hers. In that brief glimpse of him, he looked beautiful, his muscles gilded in the light, his face in shadow. That body
felt
beautiful, hard, and warm, with the brush of the hairs of his legs against hers.

He eased her down on the bed, his thigh between hers, covering her with his body. His hands pinned hers on the mattress, his mouth kissing hers, his knee rubbing up and down her inner thigh. He caressed her breasts, trailing his thumb around her nipples, giving every bit of his concentration to what he was doing. He skimmed across her stomach, cupping her pubic area, and then feathering her inner thighs. She reached up to run her fingers through his hair, so soft and silky, black as night. He slid his finger into her folds, drawing a breath from her, stealing it away as he continued to stroke.

No, she wasn’t smart to be here in his room, in his bed, but she could be nowhere else. She slipped her hand around the back of his neck and buried her face there as her body shuddered. Soft, breathy sounds came from deep in her chest as she wrapped her body around his. He didn’t rush to move on to his pleasure. He kept pleasuring her, touching her, as though he couldn’t get enough of her, rubbing up and down her back, the curve of her ass and down into the damp crevices he’d just driven her crazy touching.

She wrapped her fingers around his shaft, moving against him. He moved in sync with her, his hands at her hips. Her thumb slid over the tip of him, down the ridge of skin that made him suck in a breath and tighten his grip on her.

Now,
she thought, and he must have read her mind, because he leaned over to the drawer in the nightstand and pulled out a condom. He ripped open the package and slid the sheath down the length of him. He, of all people, would never be reckless with sex.

She hooked her hands around the back of his neck and rolled onto her back, wanting the position that offered the most contact. He braced himself while she guided him in. He filled her, and it was in that, in his arms on either side sheltering her, that she realized how much her soul had craved him.

He watched her face as he entered her, and whatever he saw there gave him the go-ahead to move. She gripped his shoulders, squeezing, urging him deeper by wrapping her legs around his hips. He kissed her as he moved, softly murmuring her name, taking his time. After several minutes, Tucker rolled them over so she was on top.

Her brown hair became a curtain as she leaned down and nibbled at his jaw, his ear, and then his neck, keeping that slow, delicious rhythm. He caressed her breasts, making her roll her head back in pleasure, and then slid his hands down to her waist. As she rocked back and forth, he touched her already sensitive nub, using her own movements to send her over the edge again. When she went, she felt him shudder and throb inside her, his hands squeezing her hips hard. His eyes rolled back, head tilted as his orgasm shuddered through him.

She watched him slowly come back to himself, his jaw relaxing, his eyes opening to find her gaze on him. She couldn’t help her smile, soft from her own exhaustion and satisfaction.

He had said her name, not the names of any of those other women he’d been with—their numbers on those pieces of paper and business cards—or that woman in the shower.

His chest rose and fell with his breaths; his face was flushed. He entwined his fingers with hers, pulling her close to kiss her. His tongue toyed with hers, sliding along the edge of her teeth. He finished the kiss, and then pulled her down so that her cheek rested on his chest, his arm over her shoulders to hold her close.

She flattened her hand on his stomach, his heartbeat thudding in her ear. She could feel him. Not just physically, but deep inside her. They remained for several long minutes. She felt his body tightening rather than becoming more relaxed and lifted her cheek from his chest.

He put his hand over his eyes. “Now we’ve gone and done it.”

“Tucker . . . I’m not sorry this happened. I hope you aren’t.”

He sat up on his elbows. “Are you sure? Nothing’s changed. I still hold Darkness.”

“I’m okay with that.”

“Are you?” He turned to black mist, then transformed to wolf. She involuntarily shrank back—exactly what he’d intended, she realized. “You’ll always be afraid of me, Del.”

The images of her father’s death tangled in her mind with those animals she’d seen fighting on top of the car.

He’s not the man who attacked your father.

But he comes from that man.

As her thoughts warred, he jumped to the floor, his movements as graceful as the real animal, four feet landing without a sound. But he was nothing like the real thing, his texture smooth, his essence like black liquid. He took several steps away and then morphed back to man, beautifully naked.

He rubbed the ball at the corner of the headboard and looked at her, as though he was warring with his own thoughts. “There’s a part of you that will always be afraid of me. And there’s a part of me that will die every time I see your fear. Get some sleep.” He grabbed his discarded clothes and walked out.

Sleep? Was he frickin’ kidding after breaking her heart with those words?

She got up and pulled on her robe.
I shouldn’t do this. I really shouldn’t.

Her hands covered that ball, and she closed her eyes at the impact of his emotions. Not as strong because of the wood, but discernible. Pain. Yes, she’d hurt him again by turning away. By being afraid. But hey, he was an animal that wasn’t an animal that was . . . whatever the hell Darkness was. He’d pushed her, Becoming like that, testing her, and now he was sure she would never accept that part of him.

Maybe she couldn’t, not with what she’d seen from her father’s ring. So she would walk away from him and be done with it once this was over.

She settled with that thought, but it didn’t settle with her. No, she couldn’t do that. Because he was inside her, too.
Fine mess you’ve gotten yourself into.

She held on and went back to the moments before. He’d morphed from man to smoke to wolf in one instant of grace. The animal was terrifying, but it was beautiful, too, in its lines of muscle and liquid steel. He was perfectly formed, the snout long, his eyes shimmering.

Tucker’s eyes.
Inside, he’s still the man you love.

That’s what she felt most of all, holding onto the link between them. She could feel Tucker in his Darkness. She’d been right; he did have a good heart.

She went out to the hallway and heard the front door close. He’d gone outside. She went downstairs, opened the door and peered out. No sign of him. Of course, he’d blend into the dark now. Fine, she’d go back to his bed and wait. It would give her time to sort through what she wanted to say to him. To see if what they had could be salvaged.

Chapter Eleven

T
UCKER RETURNED FROM
his run exhausted and trembling. His bedroom light was still on. Willing himself to smoke, he crept up the side of the house and looked in the window. Del was asleep on his bed, lying crossways. He watched her, with the moonlight washing over her face. God, she was beautiful.

What the hell did you do, Tuck?

He understood what he’d done, because he could feel it in the way he breathed her in and knew he would do anything for her. He’d crossed the line with her, with himself. Which is why he’d Become, without easing her in or warning her. He’d done what he could to push her away.

He drifted down and morphed to man. It was four in the morning. He was not going to let her go with him, and he knew she would fight him on it. Blue lights played on the stairs as he walked inside the house. Greer had fallen asleep on the couch again.

Tucker looked for his boots near the front door, where they all piled their shoes.

“Where are you going?”

Greer wasn’t asleep after all. Tucker told him about the phone call.

Greer launched off the sofa. “That son of a bitch could be my father, too.”

“You’re not coming. They don’t know about you.” Which reminded him. He set his wallet on the end table. If something happened, he didn’t want Elgin to find his home. Their home. That was probably how he’d gotten to Carrie’s place. “I’m going early to recon the area. I’ll be waiting when he gets there. I’m betting the second guy will get there early too and find a hiding spot. I’ll take him out before Elgin even knows I’m there. Then it’ll be him and me. I can take him.”

“I’m going with you, Tucker.”

Tucker shook his head. “Someone’s got to watch over the D’Rats if something happens to me. Darius is too . . . well, Darius. Cody isn’t the paternal type. Shea’s strong, but the guys won’t let her boss them around. But they need someone to guide them.” He glanced back at the stairs. “And Del. Take care of her, too.”

Greer’s eyes narrowed. “You’ve got it for her, don’t you?”

He was going to deny it but nodded instead. “I’ve had it for her for a long time. But she was out of my life and I told myself if I ever saw her, it wouldn’t matter. It worked, at least the first time. Then she came back . . . and needed me.”

“That’ll get you every time.” Tucker knew he was thinking of Shea by the shadow in his eyes. Especially since she’d been having trouble with a creepy “secret admirer.” He seemed to study Tucker. “Scary shit, isn’t it?” He ran his hand back over his hair. “It can make you crazy.”

“Yeah.” Part of the reason Shea had moved out was because of the tension between Darius and Greer, who both felt an attraction to her. He suspected it not only made her uncomfortable, but scared her that the two might fight because of her. She felt responsible, because she was attracted to both of them. As Del had surmised, Shea wouldn’t let herself experience those kinds of feelings. That didn’t mean that the two men didn’t pick up on them, though.

Tucker glanced back at the stairs. “But as soon as this is over, it’s over between Del and me, too. Our father killed hers in a jealous frenzy. She’ll always look at me and see the beast that I am. I can’t blame her for that.” It hurt, yes, but he understood. “I hope to be back before she wakes, so I can tell her it’s over. Hopefully I’ll have her mother. Promise me you will stay put. Promise, Greer.”

They took promises seriously, because no one had ever been reliable in their lives.

“All right, I promise, as long as you promise to call me if you need help.”

“I will.”

“Take Darius.”

“Take me where?” Darius wheeled into the living room.

How long had he been lurking in the hallway? The guy sometimes made Tucker uneasy. He could see Greer stiffen.

“I’m going to face off with my biological father, and probably his buddy. I’m leaving Greer here, in charge.”

Darius’s eyes darkened as he gave Greer a lift of his chin. “Not in charge of me.” He turned back to Tucker. “I’m in. Let me get dressed.”

“I don’t know if that’s the best idea,” Tucker said under his breath once the door had slammed shut.

“If he’s going to go nuts on someone, let it be one of those bastards.”

Tucker had been the only thing between the two of them once, when their feelings for Shea hit a flashpoint. Luckily, they both saw Tucker’s relationship with her for what it is, more brotherly than anything else.

Darius burst out of his bedroom, wheeling up to them. “Let’s go kick some ass.”

Tucker laid out the map and went over the neighborhood and the plan. Then they looked at the satellite view on the Internet. “Got it?”

Darius nodded. “I am so ready to take these guys out.”

Too ready. It’s not like he could warn Darius not to go crazy on these guys, after what Tucker had done to Bengle. He met Greer’s eyes. “If Del wakes up, keep her here. She knows where we’re meeting, but she doesn’t have a car.” He gave him a chagrinned smile. “You’ll have your own battle, I imagine. She’s not going to be happy to be left behind.”

“I know the feeling, but I can handle her. You.” He gave Tucker a hug, patting his back. “Be careful.” He didn’t say the same to Darius, only gave him a nod that was supposed to convey the sentiment, Tucker imagined.

Darius drove his car, which was fitted to be driven completely with his hands. He was on edge during the drive, his entire upper body in constant motion. Fingers tapped his thighs, and every five minutes he looked in the rearview mirror to see if anyone was following. His wheelchair was in the back. The guy got around amazingly well in it, maneuvering into the car with ease.

“I don’t like the closed loop,” Darius said as they neared the area. “With the recent rain, the ground’s going to be soft. From what you described, they trapped you last time.”

“We won’t be running because they’ll be dead.”

“Yeah, I like the sound of that. Ever killed someone, Tuck?”

The question took him off guard. “Yeah. Once. You?”

“Stabbed a guy who was trying to rob me. I came out of a bar, knew he was stalking me. So I acted drunk, singing and shit. He figured, guy in a chair, easy take.” Darius smiled. “He got a little surprise.”

“You have to be careful, dude. Using Darkness is a last-resort option, especially in public.”

Darius flicked a glance his way. “Is that why you’re the Alpha, ’cause you’re the sensible one?”

Tucker laughed, despite Darius’s adversarial tone. “There is no Alpha. We’re not a wolf pack.”

“But we are a pack, and you are in charge.”

“I’m in charge because I’m the one who found all of you. I own the house most of you live in. But sensible? Not always.”

“I’m looking for my own place. Nothing personal, but I need space, privacy.”

“Yeah, there’s not a lot of that.” He wouldn’t mind if Darius moved out. The tension between him and Greer was annoying at times. “Okay, let me out here. At six, start down Foothills Road, nice and slow.” Darius was supposed to sit there for a few minutes, drawing out Elgin. Hopefully by then, this Bengle guy would be out of the picture. “If Elgin approaches the car, I’ll be behind him. Your windows are dark enough that he won’t see it’s not me in the car. Don’t do anything stupid.”

Darius lifted his upper lip in a snarl. “And try not to get yourself killed. I’d hate to have to console your girlfriend.”

Tucker had to stop himself from slamming the door closed. Darius liked to rile people, and Tucker wasn’t about to let him. He closed the door softly, even though they were a distance from Foothills.

Darkness transformed everything, including his clothing. He let it claim him, becoming the smoke that had scared the hell out of him the first few times he’d Become. Becoming
nothing
for a few moments before forming into the denser energy of Darkness still stepped up his heartbeat. He’d chosen wolf for his form, drawn to them since he was a kid. Now, sometimes, when he roamed the desert in Darkness, he’d see one. Of course, the animals would take off the moment they sensed something supernatural in their midst.

He felt the dirt beneath his paws, the cold air, and the colder coat of not fur but energy. Gaining his sense of direction, he tore off into the direction of the Foothills.

E
LGIN GOT UP
and dressed. “If only you’d cooperated like that before, we wouldn’t be in this predicament.”

She had merely tolerated him, but at least he’d had the pleasure of penetration, of touching her, if not ejaculation. That was a pleasure he would never have again because of her. More so, he had the pleasure of forcing her to do as he wanted.

“I never meant for you to tap into some kind of black magic to satisfy me,” she said, her voice without inflection. “Our marriage wasn’t about love or attraction. You needed a wife, I needed a husband. That’s all it was.”

“But you had certain obligations as my wife. You took your pleasure elsewhere.”

“I didn’t mean to fall in love.” Her mouth stretched into a frown, probably remembering the weak human.

“That was the price you paid for straying. We all pay a price for our sins, Nikkita.”

“I’ve paid, Elgin. Please keep your word. Don’t hurt my daughter. Or Tucker.”

“I never said anything about Tucker. And why do you care about him? You said he was a punk kid you sent . . . ah, you fell for him, too, didn’t you? Maybe not romantically, but you’ve got a soft spot in your heart for him. Sorry, dear, but I can’t let him live. He doesn’t only carry my genes; he carries something that could expose us. And if he’s the one who killed that guy, and he goes on to kill someone else, it’s my head on the chopping block. Again. I’ll bet my boy doesn’t know he may have another capability; he may not have inherited it at all.”

He held out his hand to her, focusing the power of his energy at her. It hit her like a wave, throwing her head back, a painful grimace as she writhed and grunted as though seizing. He held her there for a few seconds, enjoying making her suffer as he had suffered all these years. When he dropped his hand, she collapsed with a groan.

The Force was painful for others. It had another effect for those with Darkness. As Tucker would soon find out.