The Dastard (21 page)

“West,” the princess said in a peremptory tone. She leaned back slightly to touch him. “Put your arms around me, lest I fall,” she murmured to him. The sweet fragrance of her body encompassed him.

The Dastard wanted to refrain, because this was seductive, but her request made sense. So he put his arms around her, and felt the supple female nature of her body. If only she were real!

The dragon hesitated, evidently not liking this, but then got moving. She chose her route, wending between trees, and made good time. But the ride was bouncy, and the princess bounced within his embrace. Her hair flounced across his face, caressing it. “Hold me more tightly, lest I bounce off,” she whispered. He had to do it, though it made him want to do more than hold. She was quite bouncy already. He knew she knew this. She was trying to seduce him despite his caution, and it was getting harder to fend off the desire.

The time seemed eternal, and instant. She was so special, in his arms, yet so dangerous. How much longer could he dare to let her continue impressing him? Maybe he should just unhappen the Possession now, and take his chances on meeting the princess himself. Yet with a vengeful Hag spirit loose, what might happen? She might return to kill the princess. He couldn't risk it. At least this way he knew where the Hag was. All too well.

“Bear south,” the princess told the dragon. The dragon obligingly turned that way.

The princess turned her face, almost touching the Dastard's face. “We're making progress,” she said dulcetly.

That might be the problem. She really knew how to make this body perform, and he was sure it wasn't limited to casual touching. She had probably made a hundred lovely young bodies do a thousand deadly seductions.

They reached the shore. The sea stretched out ahead, undisturbed.

The dragon came to a halt. They got off the dragon's back, and the dragon returned to girl form.

“Where is it?” Becka asked, peering around.

“It interfaces with the mainland only when summoned,” the Princess replied. “I am one of the few who know how to do that. So you see, you need me.”

Did the Sea Hag suspect that he knew her identity? That made her more dangerous, because she might do something to him before he could unhappen her Possession. But the temptation of a really big unhappening prevented him from acting just yet. “So summon it,” he said curtly.

The princess put two fingers into her mouth and made a piercing whistle. Fog swirled in, and formed into the shape of an island, complete with trees and a beach. It solidified, and there appeared a causeway to the mainland.

“I can whistle like that,” Becka said.

The Dastard glanced at her. He knew she wanted to be rid of the Sea Hag as soon as possible. He agreed with her. Now that they had found the island, they no longer needed the dangerous dame.

“They are alert for intruders,” the Princess said. “You will need me to introduce you.”

“We can introduce ourselves,” Becka said. Again, she had a point. He should play it safe and unhappen the Hag now. Of course that would mean they would not be here at the Isle, but since both he and Becka would remember its location, that was no problem.

“Ah, but are you good at lying?” the princess asked.

Becka stood mute; the Hag had scored on her weak point. Few naturally souled folk could lie well; their consciences interfered.

“Of course,” the Dastard said. But it was true that a person familiar with the culture of the isle would better know how to lie to the people there.

The princess nodded, seeing that she had made her point, and led the way across.

When they reached the island, the Dastard looked back. The mainland looked like a bank of fog. Then it dissipated, leaving only endless sea.

“We can't get off this island,” Becka said, alarmed.

“Oh, we can, my pet,” the princess said. “When it is time. Now let's meet the denizens.” She forged ahead, finding a path.

Both Becka and the Dastard hesitated. The Hag/princess had taken over their course, and this clearly made the girl as nervous as it made him. Just what was on this mysterious island? If he unhappened her now, he would not know. So he would have to wait just a little longer.

The princess paused, glancing back. “Come,” she said.

They came.

There was a swirl of smoke just ahead, which soon formed into a large male figure. It was a demon. “Who are you?” he asked, surprisingly politely. “I am D. Tain.”

“Thank you, Tain,” the princess said. “I am the Princess Melody. This is the Dastard, and this is Becka. We have come to observe your community.”

“Welcome, all three,” Tain said. “I will gladly conduct you to our Fellowship Village. May I inquire whether you have any prior knowledge of our community?”

“Not really, my pet,” the princess said. “We have heard that it is a very nice community, so we thought we would see for ourselves, in case we should wish to join it.”

“By all means,” the demon agreed. “I will tell you all about it. Its origin is way back in time, thousands, of years ago, when the land of Xanth was first colonized. It's a marvelously intricate tale, and--”

“You're stalling,” the princess said. “This community formed only three years ago. Before that the Isle was vacant. You're trying to fool us.”

“By no means, Princess. I am following my nature.”

“D. Tain,” Becka said, catching on. “He's detaining us.”

“Get you gone, demon, and send us a better guide,” the princess snapped.

Tain puffed into smoke, which dissipated, reappeared, then reformed into a different aspect. “And who the #### are you, woman, to give us any orders?” the new form demanded arrogantly.

Becka quailed at the obscenity, but the woman took it in easy stride. “I am the Princess Melody. And who the %%%% are you?”

The demon paused, evidently taken aback. “You can't be much of a princess, if you can say that word. I look down my long nose at you.”

“I recognize you,” the princess said. “You're D. Spise.”

“And not at your service,” the demon replied with a sneer. “I hold you in contempt.”

“Then get you gone, Spise, and send us another,” the princess said.

“Why should I obey any demand of yours?” Spise inquired disdainfully.

The princess merely shot him a glance. He quickly converted to swirling smoke. In a moment a third form coalesced. This one looked woebegone. “Oh, this is awful,” the new demon wailed. “I can't even begin to think of trying to deceive you.”

“I recognize you too,” the princess said. “You are the Demon Spare.”

“Yes, and I have no way to stop you from invading our fair community. What hope remains?”

“None,” the princess said. “Now get you gone and send someone more useful.”

The demon swirled and reformed. This one smiled ingratiatingly. “Oh, I am so very dutiful! How can I help you?”

“And you are D. Voted,” the princess said. “You'll do. Lead us to the community.”

“I'd love nothing better.” The demon walked ahead of them, leading them.

The Dastard was impressed by the way the princess handled the demons. They had evidently recognized her as the Sea Hag, and they must have had long experience with her before. They clearly did not want to cross her. It was unusual to find a human person who could order demons around. But of course the Sea Hag was no ordinary person. It would be better to unhappen her now.

“The demons are merely a preliminary diversion,” the princess murmured. “The community has other defenses.”

“How can you know that, if you haven't been here before?” Becka demanded.

“Ah, but I have been here, in spirit, my pet,” the princess replied.

In spirit. She had traveled around while between bodies, probably looking for good ones to Possess, and must have seen a lot. So the Hag did know about this one. So far her guidance had been good. There probably were other defenses. They still needed her.

The path opened out onto a pleasant valley with a lovely village in its center. “Here is our Community of Fellowship,” Voted announced.

“It is my great pleasure to introduce you to it. Surely you will want to join.”

Surely he didn't want to join, the Dastard thought. But it was a good pose to learn how to unhappen it.

“What's that?” Becka asked, squinting at the sun.

The Dastard looked. The sun was very bright, but squinting did enable him to look at it. Something was happening on its surface. There seemed to be small human forms lying on it or in it. Some seemed to be washing children in the flames.

“Those are sun bathers,” Voted explained. “And a few son bathers, too. Here at Fellowship we love to relax, and the sun is nice and warm. Of course we have to use protective emollients and lotions to prevent sunburn.”

“How do they get up there?” Becka asked. She seemed to be a curious girl.

“We have a long ladder,” Voted said. “Would you like to use it?”

“No,” the Dastard said, wary of the diversion. “Just get us on down to the village.”

“Of course,” the demon agreed. “I am entirely at your service.”

They passed a palm tree, whose open hands held thyme sprigs spelling out days of the month. Beside it were two eyeballs. “H-eye, Voted!” one of the eyes observed.

“So nice to see you, Al,” the demon answered.

“Well, eye try to get along with others,” Al Eye said. He turned toward the other eye. “Say hi to the visitors, May,” he said.

“Oh, may eye?” the lady eye asked, batting her lashes.

“You may,” Voted told her. Then, to the visitors, he said: “This is the date palm. The Eyes have it. They met here when they were looking for some thyme. They are Al and May.”

“Al Eye and May Eye got a date,” Becka murmured.

“Let's get on to the village,” the Dastard said shortly.

The village was on a deep inlet of the sea that washed against the backs of many of the houses. The villagers were going about routine tasks. What surprised the Dastard was that they were of several different species. Demons, centaurs, goblins, nagas, and merfolk were mixing freely. Normally each species associated mostly with its own type. This did seem to be an unusual community.

A centaur stallion trotted up, followed by a filly with the usual ample bare breasts. The Dastard had to fight his eyeballs' inclination to stare. This wasn't a human creature, after all. “I am Cesar Centaur,” the male said. “How may we be of service?”

“You can show us around,” the princess said. “We're thinking of joining the community.”

She was right: She lied well.

The filly clapped her hands. “Wonderful!” she said generously. “I am Charity Centaur. I will help.”

Actually the Dastard didn't want to meet a whole lot of villagers. He wanted to find out how this community had started, so he could figure out how to unhappen it. This promised to be a boring session.

“Here is Ann Chovie,” Cesar said, indicating a merwoman reclining at the edge of the water. She lifted a hand to wave languidly. She had herringbone stripes along her sides. “And her husband Strate.” A demon appeared.

“But he's a demon!” Becka protested.

“Of course,” Charity said. “All our couples are mixed. It is the way of Fellowship.”

“But I thought you--Cesar--”

“We are siblings, not spouses,” Cesar said. “My wife is Glitter Goblin.” He indicated a pretty goblin girl who approached, smiling.

“And my husband is Naro Naga,” Charity said, indicating a naga man who slithered up.

“Oh--you mean there's a love spring here,” Becka said.

“No love spring,” Cesar said. “Just good fellowship.”

“But this is amazing,” the princess said, pretending to be amazed. “Do you mean to say that if we settled here, we would have to marry others not of our own species?”

“You wouldn't have to,” Charity said. “But we hope you would want to. It preserves amity.”

“It's weird,” Becka muttered, and for once the Dastard agreed with her.

But maybe now was his chance. “How did this come about?” he asked.

“That is Ann's story,” Cesar said.

They oriented on the merwoman. She was much like a mermaid, except that she was of course a saltwater creature, a bit firmer in the tail and generous in the bosom, to handle the rougher tides of the sea. “If you are really interested,” she said.

“We are,” the Dastard said. With luck this would give him the key to the community.

“Well, I was swimming alone, exploring the inlets of the sea,” Ann said. “I found a rather interesting island I hadn't seen before. In fact it was this one; we hadn't named it then. I followed an inlet inward as far as I could, trying to see more, because I am not one of those merfolk who can change their tails into legs. Then the tide reversed, and I found myself stranded; I couldn't return the way I had come, and was in danger of getting beached. That would have been a horrible fate.”

“I thought all mermaids could make legs,” Becka said.

“No, no mermaids I know of,” Ann said. “And only some merwomen. I'm not sure what the rule is. Anyway, as I said, I'm not one. I would have had to try to crawl over land, and it would have scratched my tail awfully. I would have trouble breathing, too; I need the support of the water to function properly. There's a fair amount of weight on my chest; it needs uplifting. So there I was, trapped in a diminishing pool, when suddenly a demon appeared.” She looked around expectantly.

Demon Strate had faded out. Now he reappeared. “Aha!” he cried. “A helpless but generously endowed mergirl!”

“Eeeeek, a demon!” Ann screamed. “Whatever do you want with me?”

“I am about to demon-strate that,” the demon said, ogling the exposed endowments.

Cesar Centaur inserted a comment: “The mergirl began to suspect that the demon was up to no particular good. But she had no experience with evil, and less with males, so she tried to put the best face on the situation.”

Ann looked a bit worried, but was naturally too innocent to know what she might be worried about. “Can you help me get back to the sea, so I can swim merrily away?”

“I can, but I won't,” Strate said, rubbing his hands together. “Instead, I shall ravish you cruelly and throw you away, seeing that you are unable to escape.”