The Date Auction (14 page)

William was watching an old episode of The Big Bang Theory at minimal volume, because Alaina kept insisting she needed to concentrate. “Umm... I don't know. I can't really think of anything.”

“Neither can I.” She was holding a pink pen in her hand, tapping her chin as she pondered. This particular pen had an eraser on it, which she was nibbling between her teeth. “Well... what's another word for happy?”

“What's all this for, Alaina?”

“I'm writing a poem for you, Baby.” She answered his question with a smug grin, as if she was pleased with herself. “So... what's another word for happy?”

“I have no idea.” Her eyes were pleading, so he had to think of something. “I don't know... gay?”

When she heard his answer, she laughed and snorted at the same time. “Are you serious?! No one uses gay for happy anymore. Not since 1910.”

“I don't see why they don't,” William said with a shrug. “Gay people look pretty happy to me.”

“You're so silly.” With a roll of her eyes, Alaina turned her attention back to her computer. “I'll just have to pull up a thesaurus on the computer. Thesaurus...” She snort-laughed again. “Isn't that a funny word?
Thesaurus
. I've always thought it sounded like a dinosaur.”

William popped a Dorito in his mouth and prayed that the chewing noise would drown her out, if only for a few seconds. As much as he liked her, Alaina's nonstop prattle was wearing on his patience.

“Do you think a Thesaurus would be a carnivore or an herbivore?”

“I dunno, Babe. I don't really have an opinion on that.”

“What's the word for something that eats plants
and
animals. I can't think of it.”

“Omnivore.”

“Yeeeeah.
Omnivore
!” She gasped the word as if it was an epiphany. “I bet a Thesaurus would be an omnivore! Don't you think?”

A knock on the door saved him from the necessity of a response. As Alaina leapt from the couch and scrambled to the door, she said, “Oh, I forgot to tell you! There's someone coming to visit.”

William automatically assumed the worst. What if her parents were standing on the other side of the door? Not a day went by when Alaina didn't mention her parents and her desire for William to meet them. It seemed she wouldn't be happy until her new boyfriend was fully integrated into her life, parents and all.

“Who is it?”

“It's my friend Penelope.”

“I don't think you've mentioned her before.”

“
Shh!
You better not say that to her. I wouldn't want her to think she wasn't important enough.” As she reached for the doorknob, Alaina added, “I have a feeling she
will
be important after today.”

William had no idea what she meant by that, and he wouldn't have time to ask. The door opened, and a tall, blonde Asian woman entered the room. The first thing he noticed was her skirt, which was quite possibly the tiniest garment he had ever seen, and it hugged her hips in such a way that it left little to the imagination. Her naval ring was visible under her fuzzy red sweater, which was too short and flimsy to be effective against the cold. Her flowery perfume was so powerful, he felt like he might pass out from the fumes.

Penelope was a beautiful woman, not unlike the girl who captured her in a welcoming embrace. “Hi, Penelope!” Alaina trilled. “It is sooo good to see you again.”

“And it's good to see you too.” When Penelope's eyes landed on William, she grinned. “And it's even better to see
you
. This is the new boyfriend, I take it?”

“Yeah, this is William. Isn't he cute?”

“I suppose I can see the appeal.” Penelope sat across from him and crossed her legs. From that position, he swore he could see a bit of her buttocks.

“You don't sound very enthusiastic, Pen. I wanted you to think he was cute. You
do
think he's cute, don't you?” Alaina pouted. “Because it's kind of important. If you don't like him, we can't really proceed with our plan.”

“Oh, he's cute. Did you tell him what we had in mind?”

Alaina shook her head, which made her pigtails twirl. “No.”

“Uh... I think you should probably give him a heads-up, hun.” Penelope turned her attention back to William and raised an eyebrow. “So, William. Or... Will? Which do you prefer?”

“Either one.”

“I call him Will Will,” Alaina chimed in with a smile.

William looked to Penelope, then to Alaina, then back to Penelope. He had no idea what the women had planned for him, but it sounded ominous.

“Anyway,” Penelope continued. “We were going to ask if you wanted to join us for a threesome.”

“A... threesome?!” His voice squeaked a bit.

“Yes. A threesome. As in, have sex with both of us at the same time.” As she explained herself, Penelope glanced at Alaina and gave her a nod. “Would you be interested?”

“Umm... wow.” What was he supposed to say? There was no denying that Penelope was a beautiful girl, every bit as stunning as William's new girlfriend. He had never been part of a threesome before, but it wasn't for lack of wanting one. Hadn't every man fantasized about being sandwiched between two women? He just never thought it would happen to
him
.

He tried to study Alaina's face, but her expression was blank. Was this her fantasy—to share him with her gorgeous friend? Even though she had her faults, he liked Alaina, and he knew they had a good thing going. If he agreed to a threesome, could their relationship ever be the same? He feared they would be crossing a precarious threshold from which they could never return.

He glanced at Penelope again, whose thin ruby lips were curved in a wicked grin. The more he stared at her, the more he was tempted by the prospect. A good boyfriend might have insisted on being faithful, but William had already spent most of his life being good. The thought of having two naked women, one for each arm, was too much to resist. He felt like an eight-year-old trying to resist the temptation of Disneyland.

“Well...?” Penelope pressed him for an answer. “Are you interested or what?”

“Come on, Will Will. I know you want this.”

“You're right.” When it came down to it, he was just a man. A man who couldn't resist. “I'd be up for it if you guys are.”

“Will Will!” Suddenly, Alaina's face changed. Her eyebrows shot to her forehead, her eyes flickered with fury, and her smile was replaced with something menacing. She looked like a harpy preparing to shriek at her foes. “How dare you! I thought you were better than this!”

“Wait...
wha
--?!”

“I knew you didn't care about me!” his girlfriend wailed. “I knew it! I thought you were different from other guys I've dated, but it turns out you're just the same.”

“So... you tricked me?!” In the corner of his eye, he thought he saw Penelope nodding, but he was too ashamed to look.

“It was a test! I needed to know if you really cared about me, or if you were just in it for the sex!”

William sprang from the couch and sheepishly stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I do. I
do
care about you! I just... I didn't think... I didn't think it meant...” He withdrew one of his hands and raked it down the length of his face. “This is entrapment!”

“Whatever it is, it was the proof I needed! If you really loved me like you said you did, you would want to be with me and
only
me!” Alaina sniffed dramatically. “You're a... a... a
turd
!”

“So I'm a turd,” he agreed. “I'm sorry, Alaina. I--”

“I don't want to hear it! Just go away!” Without another word, she ran into her bedroom and slammed the door. When he glanced at Penelope, he realized the grin never left her face. Apparently, her friend's misery and William's despair were amusing to her.

“Sorry. She asked me to do it.” Penelope tried to pull down her skirt, but there wasn't much material to tug. He wondered if she usually dressed like that, or if the scanty attire was part of Alaina's plot to destroy him.

“I really screwed up, didn't I?”

“Kind of.”

“How was I supposed to know you guys weren't serious?” he asked with a sigh. “What was I supposed to say?! I'm not a saint!”

“Maybe you should go talk to her?”

“Or maybe I should give her a moment alone.” As William stared at her bedroom door, he wondered if they were over. If Alaina broke up with him, it would officially be the shortest relationship of his life.

“No, I think you should talk to her,” Penelope insisted. “When a girl flees from her man, she wants to be chased.”

“Really? Are you sure about that?”

“More often than not, yeah. We like to be pursued.”

“If you say so.” William heaved a tremendous breath as he turned toward Alaina's door, then exhaled it between clenched teeth. “Here I go.”

“Good luck.”

William rapped on the door with a knuckle. When she didn't answer right away, he opened the door and stepped inside. Alaina was laying face-down in bed with her face squashed against a pillow.

“Alaina.”

“
Go away
!” Her words were muffled by the pillow.

“But we need to talk.” He took a few steps in the direction of her bed, albeit cautiously. “I wasn't thinking straight. I just got caught up in the moment, and--”

“Go away!” she screamed. “Go away, go away, go away!”

She sounded serious, so he took a step backward. “Alaina, please. Will you look at me?”

“I don't want to see you right now!”

“Alaina, I'm really, really, really sorry!” His voice had taken on a note of desperation. William didn't want to lose her so soon, not after he had been single for so long. “I'm an asshole! I'm sorry! If you give me another chance, I swear I--”

All of a sudden, Alaina rolled over and shouted, “GOTCHA!” The grin on her lips was so confusing, it took him a moment to figure out what was happening.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I pretended to want a threesome that was really a test and that was really a trick! It was a trick within a trick!” With a gasp, she added, “It was like that really complicated dream within a dream stuff from Inception! I really like that movie!”

“Wait... so you weren't serious?” As the tension drained from his shoulders, it was replaced by a feeling of immense relief. “You aren't really mad at me?!”

“No, silly.” Alaina crashed back on the bed and hugged the pillow to her chest. “It would take more than that to make me mad. I just wanted to watch you squirm a little bit. Are you mad?”

“Well, I was definitely squirming.”

“Poor Will Will.” She pointed her toes and poked his stomach with her foot. “Did you think you were going to lose me?”

“I did.”

“And you didn't want to lose me?”

“Of course I didn't.”

“Awww.” She extended her arms toward him, encouraging him to cuddle with her. When he laid on the bed, she scooped him up and cradled his head to her chest. “You poor Baby.”

“For the record, I really
am
sorry.” William closed his eyes as her hand sifted through his hair. “I'm extremely sorry. I'm
immensely
sorry.”

“What? Why should you have to apologize? Any man would have jumped at a chance for a threesome.” Her voice trailed off for a moment. “By the way... if you really wanted to have that threesome, I'm sure Penelope would be up for it. I could ask her if you want me to. It's really not a test this time.”

“No. No, I've learned my lesson.” William realized how much she meant to him, how much he didn't want to lose her, and he wasn't about to make the same mistake twice. “You were right, Alaina. Because I care about you so much, I only want to be with you. I'm serious.” He lifted his head and smiled at her. “I only want to be with you, Sweetheart.”

“Good.” Alaina moved her head to his and rewarded him with a kiss, soft and sweet. “That was the correct answer.”

Chapter Sixteen

As he wandered around his apartment, beer in hand, Jaime felt completely alone. To make matters worse, it was a Saturday night, and he almost always had something to do on a Saturday night. More often than not, that “something to do,” involved a female companion. He could have easily filled his Saturday night with a random woman; attracting women came easily to him. Unfortunately for Jaime, there was only one woman he wanted, and she didn't want him.

He sat on his couch, scratching his head as he replayed her words in his mind for the dozenth time.
I think it would be best if we just remained friends. Just remained friends. Just remained friends.

Friends. That word tortured him more than anything. Did she really mean what she said? Or, even worse, had it been her intent to blow him off completely? He wanted to contact her again, to see if she still wanted him in her life, but he didn't know if his attentions would be welcome. For some reason, he let Eva Stanford intimidate him more than any woman ever intimidated him. No—he had
never
been intimidated before. He wondered if half of her allure was the fact that she posed a challenge, and no other woman had ever challenged him before.

He decided to send her a text, because it seemed less personal than a phone call. If she wanted to blow him off, it would be easy enough to ignore him.

To Eva
:
hey FRIEND. ive missed you.

He kept his eyes on his phone, awaiting her response with bated breath. If she ended up ignoring him, he already knew what his next move would be. He would have to get another beer from the fridge.

To Jaime:
Hey, BUDDY. Ive missed you too. How have you been? What have you been up to?

To Eva:
oh nothing much. just moping around the house, wondering if there was sumthing i could have done to convince u I am worth ur time.

To Jaime:
why do you say that? I really like you, Jaime. You were always worth my time.

He couldn't shake the feeling that he had failed to sweep her off her feet, and now friendship was his consolation prize.

To Eva:
i
really have been thinking about you. Have you ever thought about me?