The Date Auction (7 page)

When the game went to a commercial, William muted the television and turned to his friends. “There's something we need to discuss,” he announced.

“You sound terribly serious all of a sudden,” Harry observed. “I can't say I'm too fond of serious.”

“It's not that serious. Well... it is for me.” William pulled his cellphone out of his pocket. Ever since he arrived at his brother's apartment, he had received a text from Alaina every ten minutes or so. The one that stuck out in his mind was the one in which she referred to him as his Baby Pooka Wookie. He was trying not to cringe. She was, after all, disgustingly pretty. If she happened to be a bit obnoxious, he could forgive her.

Unfortunately, Alaina had a tendency to be
more
than a bit obnoxious, and he had a dozen “xoxoxo i luv u booboo” text messages to prove it.

“How did your dates go?” William was almost afraid to ask. He was, after all, the one who had gotten them involved in the date auction. And there was no way their dates could possibly measure up to his. Turning his attention to Jamie, he asked, “Did you snare the cougar?”

“Ugh.” Jamie pretended to be disgusted, when in fact, he had spent the last twenty-four hours thinking about Eva Stanford. She wasn't like any of the other women he dated, and that intrigued him. “Are you serious?”

“Sure. Why not? She seemed like an attractive woman.”

He couldn't possibly agree with his brother, could he? If he did, Jamie knew they would tease him. No, he had to play it cool. “She was alright. But I'm not interested.”

“So you won't be seeing her again?”

“What do
you
think?”

William shrugged. “Um... no?”

“You're right. She was a nice lady, but she's twenty years older than me. Twenty-one, if you want to get technical. That's really not my thing.”

Which was a lie, of course. Because he had been thinking about her all day long, he was almost certainly going to ask for a second date. But how would she react?

“What about you?” William asked Harry. “How did your date go?”

“It was fine, I suppose, although it was a bit strange to spend so much one-on-one time with a fan,” Harry confessed. “Cora seemed like a nice girl, but I--”

William interrupted, completing his friend's thought. “You wouldn't go out with her again?”

“I'm afraid not. I did, however, end up giving her my phone number.”

If his raised eyebrow was any indication, William was surprised. “Really? If you didn't want to go out with her again... why?”

“Because she asked me for my number, and I couldn't possibly say no.”

“Why not?” Jamie entered the conversation with a snort. “I say
no
all the time.”

“You have to remember, this was the girl who spent ten thousand dollars for a date with me.
Ten thousand
dollars!” Harry exclaimed. “How was I supposed to decline?”

“Easy,” Jamie insisted. “You say
no
.”

“Really, Jamie, I don't know why you're being so cruel. It's not as if Cora was a bad girl. If I hear from her again, so be it.” Harry felt obligated to defend her. “In fact, maybe it would be a good thing.”

William felt a familiar vibration in his hand, which meant he was getting yet another text message from Alaina. When he went to check his messages, he got a pleasant surprise. Alaina had attached a picture of herself.

A nude picture.

“W-wow,” William stammered. “That is... that is... wow.” The sight of his naked girlfriend must have turned his brain to mush, because he could no longer utter a sentence that made sense.

“What is it?” his brother asked.

“It's... Alaina. She sent a picture.” He turned off his phone before either of his friends could get an eyeful. “She was naked.”

Harry gasped. “What?! You're bluffing!”

“Not at all.” William could feel a smug grin spreading across his lips. “Alaina and I had a wonderful time together. A
really
wonderful time.” He wasn't the sort of man to kiss and tell, but he hoped they understood what he was implying. “She's my girlfriend.”

“You're bluffing!” Harry repeated. He stared his friend's face, searching for any sign of sarcasm. When it came to women, William Thierry was a mess. It seemed unlikely that he would acquire a girlfriend in a day's time, especially a gorgeous girlfriend. “Any moment now, you're going to tell me you're taking the piss.”

“I'm taking the...
what
?”

“Taking the piss. You know...” When it was obvious that his friend
didn't
know, Harry sighed. “Never mind. You must not have that expression in the States.”

“No. We don't.” William looked down at his phone. He was tempted to check Alaina's message again, to bask his eyes in the glory of her naked body.

But the commercials ended, which meant their conversation was at an end as well. Football was almost as important as sex, and Alaina wasn't present.

“To answer your question, I'm not... taking the piss.” William chuckled as he used the expression. “Alaina's my girlfriend, and that makes me the luckiest man in the world.”

Rather, he
would
be the luckiest man in the world... if he could get her to stop calling him
Willy Worm
. The implied reference to the size of his penis was wholly unwelcome.

Chapter Seven

Jamie hovered outside of Eva's apartment for nearly twenty minutes as he planned his next move. As much as he wanted to see her again, he was terrified of being rejected by her. But wasn't his fear unfounded? It wasn't as if he had
ever
been rejected by
anyone
. Why should Eva Stanford be any different? Had she not spent a considerable amount of money for a date with him? Unless she had a dreadful time with him, he couldn't image why she would shun him.

He had to see her.

Jamie wanted to surprise her, but he needed a way into the apartment building. After watching the door for several minutes, he saw an old lady trundling toward the building with an ample armful of groceries. It was time to make his move.

“Hello.” He hoped he was addressing a kind old lady, more like his grandmother and less like his curmudgeonly landlord.

“Oh. Good evening.” She looked puzzled by the fact that he was talking to her.

When he saw the groceries slipping from her arms, he asked, “Need me to carry something for you?”

“Um...” The old woman took a moment to study his face, to discern his intentions. “Yes, I suppose.”

She handed over one of her large brown bags; Jamie was surprised to discover she was toting something so heavy, it must have been a bowling ball. “What do you have in here? Bricks?”

“Just about.” She opened the door to the apartment building, which was exactly what he wanted her to do. Now he had access to Eva. “Do you live here, young man?”

Jamie held the door for her as she shuffled inside. “No, but my friend lives here.”

“Who's your friend?”
“Eva Stanford.”

The lady's white eyebrows leapt to her forehead. “Really? I wouldn't have guessed.”

As luck would have it, they passed the woman in question on the stairwell, which was good news for Jamie. If she saw him toting groceries for her elderly neighbor, surely it would work in his favor?

Eva was so stunned to see him, she stayed frozen on the top of the stairs. “Jamie!”

“Hmm. Imagine that. Out of all the people I might run into in New York City, I end up crossing paths with you.” Jamie winked at her. “It must be fate.”

“Oh, so you didn't seek me out?” Eva's voice was tinged with sarcastic disbelief. Meanwhile, the grocery-bearing old lady looked thoroughly amused.

“Actually... you caught me. I
did
seek you out. Your name kept popping into my head until I couldn't ignore it anymore.”

“That sounds like a terrible affliction.” As she descended the stairs, Eva turned her gaze on Jamie's companion, who was still carrying a large plastic bag. “Do you need help with that, Greta?”

“I'm quite alright, dear,” Greta assured her. “I might be old, but I'd like to think I'm still capable of carrying
some
thing.” Jamie and Greta ascended the stairs as Eva descended. As they passed each other, Eva turned around and started following them.

“To be honest, Jamie Thierry, I didn't expect to see you again,” Eva said.

“Well... to be honest, Eva Stanford, I
had
to see you again.” He smirked at her over his shoulder. “I was hoping you might be interested in a second date.”

That
hoisted Greta's eyebrows even higher, until they were perched atop her wrinkled forehead.

“Hmm, let me think.” A split-second later, Eva barked, “
Yes
.”

“Good. I was prepared to get down on my knees and beg, but I'm glad it didn't come to that,” Jamie said. “It would have been difficult to grovel while I was holding this lovely lady's bag.”

“Her name's Greta, and she lives across the hall,” Eva explained. “And tomorrow, I suppose I'm going to have to explain to her why I'm dating a man who's young enough to be my son.”

“No you don't, honey.” Greta was adamantly shaking her head. “Old as I am, I still have eyes. It'd be hard to pass up a piece of ass like that!”

Jamie's jaw dropped. “Greta! Shame on you!” he exclaimed.

“Well?” Greta shamelessly shrugged a shoulder. “It's the truth, isn't it? And... dear, don't worry about dating someone who's younger than you. Men do it all the time. If your friend had a granny fetish, I'd be all over him.”

They arrived at Greta's apartment, 12B, at which time Jamie had been rendered speechless. As he deposited her groceries on the kitchen counter, he said, “Well... it's certainly been a pleasure to meet you, Greta.”

“Likewise. I'd offer you a piece of lemon candy or a cookie, but I wouldn't want to sound like an old fart.”

“Then I guess I'll have to be heartbroken, candy-less and cookie-less.” Jamie retreated to the door, where Eva was waiting for him. “Goodbye.”

“Goodbye, dear!” Greta called to him. “Have fun on your date. You make a lovely couple!”

As soon as Jamie closed the door, Eva said, “I'd believe her if we weren't such an obvious mismatch.”

“We're not a mismatch,” Jamie was quick to disagree. “Greta was a pleasant surprise. She seemed like a cool old lady.”

“And I suppose that's how you described me to your friends
?
” Eva laughed.

“And why would I say that? You're not old.” Jamie studied her for a few seconds, as if planning his next move. “If you aren't busy, I was hoping you'd go out on that date with me tonight.”

“Ooo. Spontaneity. I like that.”

Jamie smiled down at her. She was at least a head shorter than him, which was exactly what he preferred his women to be. He had dated too many tall models who could look him in the eye. “What's your dream date? I'll take you anywhere you want to go.”

“Hmm...” She thoughtfully tapped her chin. “Let's see... a gondola ride around Venice would be nice.”

“Nice, but difficult to achieve on such short notice,” Jamie chuckled. “I'll have to remember that for next time. Maybe I'll surprise you with some tickets to Venice.”

“I
do
hope you're joking.”

“Maybe. Maybe not.” He shrugged. “Would it be such a bad thing if I
did
surprise you with a trip to Venice?”

“Well... it would imply that our relationship was much more serious than I thought, and something tells me you're
far
from serious.”

“Why would you say that?”

Apart from the obvious
? Eva knew he couldn't possibly be serious about dating her, in fact, she had no idea why he'd bothered to seek her out again. She couldn't possibly be his type.

“You just don't strike me as the type of guy who would be looking for a serious relationship.”

“That's not true. I like having a girlfriend. I'm a better man when I have a girlfriend.” Jamie, whose overconfidence had returned to him, boldly reached for Eva's hand. “So, with Venice on the back burner, where should I take you tonight?”

“Do you like Chinese?”

“I do.”

“Well, there's this little Chinese restaurant that I go to from time to time. It's close by, just down the street.”

“That sounds like an ideal place for a second date.” He held onto her hand a bit tighter, and was relieved that she didn't pull away. “I'll follow you.”

Hand-in-hand, they made their way out of the building and down the street, toward the Emerald Dragon. As soon as they stepped inside, they were greeted by an intoxicating blast of sweet, savory, and slightly sour scents. Their waiter was a small Chinese man with a shockingly long mustache.

As he stared at the Chinese lantern positioned above his head, Jamie said, “This place seems authentic.”

“It is. More so than usual.”

Jamie treated himself to a complimentary fortune cookie. As he tore his fortune from the crispy cookie's confines, he said, “I'm always afraid to read it. I'm afraid it'll say something terrible.”
“Such as,
diarrhea will be visiting you in the immediate future
. That would be a bad one.”

Jamie grinned at her. “Hopefully my fortune will say something about sweeping a sexy older woman off her feet.”

“That would be pretty specific.”

“A man can hope.” Jamie unfurled his fortune and read aloud: “You will enjoy good health.”

“Oh, that's nice! Better than diarrhea.”

“
Much
better than diarrhea,” he agreed. “Alright, your turn.”

Eva's nose was wrinkled as she stared at the bowl of fortune cookies. “I don't know. I'm not a big fan of fortune cookies. They taste like sugary cardboard.”

“If you were a small rodent, I'm pretty sure they would be considered a delicacy. They love cardboard.”

“Then it's a shame I'm not a guinea pig.” Because she didn't want to be a spoilsport, Eva grabbed one of the cookies and ripped it in half. “It says,
When in doubt, don't
.” As she stared across the table at her handsome friend, she couldn't help but think her fortune was meant for her. She certainly
did
have doubts about dating a much younger man.