The Davis Years (Indigo) (6 page)

Smooth had sent the letter to her aunt’s house and her aunt had forwarded it to her at school. He knew that she’d gone to South Carolina to live with Lynette’s sister after Lynette and Demonte died. The letter had been short and to the point. He’d told her he assumed she’d been notified about his parole hearing, and asked her to come visit him at the prison before her interview with the parole board if she was going to set one up. Or to come visit even if she didn’t set one up. Of course she was going to do an interview with the parole board. What she didn’t know was whether she ever wanted to come face-to-face again with the man who’d taken her family away.

Out of all the mistakes Lynette had dated, Smooth had been the worst. He’d taken sub-par Lynette down even lower by introducing her to crack. Jemma had wanted out, but she had to stay for her little brother. If not for him, she would have emancipated herself and left. None of that had mattered in the end. An apartment fire took Demonte away from her. He was only four. Just a scared four-year-old boy and she hadn’t been there to help him—to save him.

Jemma had shouldered all the responsibility while Lynette drank, went out with her friends, and spent way too much time with her boyfriends. This had been especially true after Jemma’s sister, Patrice, had run away from home. Lynnette took every cent Jemma earned. She claimed the money belonged to her until Jemma turned eighteen. At least Lynette left her enough most of the time to do groceries and take care of the most important bills so they’d had light and heat. But all that changed in the time it took an unconscious Lynette to drop a lit cigarette from her fingers into a pool of spilled bourbon on the carpet.

She didn’t know if she was going to see Smooth or not. Part of her wanted to go and show him that he hadn’t destroyed her after all he’d done to her family. The other part of her was sick at the thought of him.

She had some time to think about it, though. Her interview was almost two weeks away. She had a full day of wedding prep ahead of her, she had to find something to like about Carolina, and she had a bachelorette party to attend that night.

After coming in from her run, Jemma showered, put her hair up, and pulled on slacks and a bright blue T-shirt. Then, she started cooking. By the time Mary got home from work, Jemma had the table loaded down with scrambled eggs, sausage, pancakes, freshly squeezed orange juice, and grapefruit halves. There was bread stacked by the toaster just in case Mary wanted toast instead of the pancakes.

When Mary saw what waited for her in the kitchen, she clapped her hands. “Oh. Jemma. You didn’t have to go to all of this trouble.”

“Just a small way of showing my appreciation of you letting me stay here while I’m in town.”

Mary crushed Jemma to her chest. “I wouldn’t have you stay anywhere else. You don’t know how happy I am to have you here again, do you?”

Jemma smiled. “Let’s dig in before it gets cold.”

Once they had food on their plates, they started talking about the store and how things had changed since Jemma had worked there.

Mary wiped her mouth on a napkin and then set it aside. “Jemma, there’s one thing I always wanted to ask you, but I never wanted to get in your business. When you went with that boy, when I covered for you with Lynette and told her you were at the store those times, was he part of why you left? I knew where you were going, but I didn’t want to meddle and I certainly never went to Lynette, but I hate the thought of anyone hurting you. But if I thought he hurt you . . .”

Jemma pushed her plate away. “You know what, Mary, looking back on it, I think we hurt each other. All I know is we were never any good for each other. I don’t know if I could ever be good for anyone. But us two? We could only cause disasters to happen.”

“Why do you say that?”

Jemma twisted her right-hand diamond ring around her finger. She’d bought it on the day she’d turned down a marriage proposal from her on-again, off-again college boyfriend. It’d seemed appropriate at the time. “I never really told you what it was like living with Lynette. I don’t like to talk about it.” The only person she’d ever talked about it with was Davis.

“All I know is it must have been a burden for you. A terrible, terrible burden.” Mary reached across the table for her hand. She gave it.

“It still is.”

“You shouldn’t let it be. You owe it to yourself to let go.”

Tears spilled over Jemma’s cheeks. She could only bear to see it in bits and pieces, so that was how she told Mary about what it was like living with Lynette for the first seventeen years of her life. Starting small was better than not starting at all.

“Oh, you poor baby. You never had anybody to love you, did you?” Mary came around the table to stand behind Jemma’s chair.

“I had Emily Rose and Wendell.”

“You had good friends, yes. But that can’t take the place of a mother’s warmth, a mother’s comfort—you were robbed of that, Jemma.” Tears stood in Mary’s eyes as she spoke. “I never had a daughter, Jemma. I never had anybody to give those things to.”

“I never had a mom.” Jemma turned around in her chair and looked up at Mary. “You can have a daughter now. If you want me.”

“Of course I want you, Jemma.” Mary pulled Jemma up out of her chair and hugged her close.

It was one thing to know better and another one altogether to do better. Thursday night, Davis leaned against his car, toying with a pack of cigarettes although he’d quit for what must have been the fortieth time that morning. It was too hot to quit smoking. Derring was in the middle of a heat wave, and if he was going to be that uncomfortable, he at least ought to be able to have a smoke when he wanted it.

His shift had ended a few minutes earlier. He didn’t want to go home and he didn’t want to stay at the restaurant—they might put him back to work if he hung around. He didn’t know where he wanted to go or what he wanted to do.

Seth had called again. Left a message that it was urgent for Davis to get back to him. Davis didn’t want to hear anything Seth had to say. He probably wanted to tell Davis to pack his bags—that his brothers had found a way to sell the house out from under him.

Davis tapped his fingers against the cellophane, thinking about Jemma and how dumb he’d been and how stupid it was to let himself think about something starting between them. Jemma would be gone soon. To Florida. And that was a good thing. He’d screwed up enough lives. He’d almost screwed up hers. They’d go to the wedding together and that would be it. So why was he allowing himself to get wrapped up in some fantasy of them having everything that had been missing in high school?

He’d been a real idiot back then. He’d denied his real feelings for her for a ton of stupid reasons. Because of his absent mother and the father he wished had been absent. Because of his stupid friends. Guys he didn’t even talk to anymore—none of them had been real friends. But none of the reasons really mattered. None of them should have kept him away from her.

Anyway, Jemma needed out of Derring and it would be stupid and selfish of him to try to keep her there. He couldn’t think of asking her to give him another chance. Even if she was the one his heart ached for. Ironically, she’d taught him the meaning of true love by breaking his heart.

He smiled thinly, thinking of how happy she’d been in high school in those few moments they’d shared, even with all she had going on at home. That’d been before he’d been among the number of people who’d broken her. Those nights in his car when it was only them, they’d shared something that their lives outside of it hadn’t been able to touch.

Davis tensed at the sound of a voice behind him. “Hi.” He knew he had to deal with her eventually, and maybe that was subconsciously a part of the reason he hadn’t left the parking lot yet.

“Hey there,” he said as Rosa stepped in front of him. She was another server at the restaurant. They’d been flirting for the past few weeks, and it had gotten a lot heavier right before Jemma came into town. They’d gotten to the point where something needed to be said or else it would look like he was playing games. He didn’t want to be that guy. He’d only been that guy once, and nothing good had come out of that.

“We haven’t talked much lately,” she said, giving him a sexy, full-lipped pout.

“I know.” Davis slapped a mosquito away from his neck. Night had cooled the summer air off a little, but it was still wet and muggy out and the critters loved that sort of weather. Especially the flying, biting ones.

“Did I do something wrong?” she asked, moving closer, giving him a perfect view down her blouse. She didn’t have the first three buttons fastened.

He backed up, shaking his head. Should he tell her the truth? But what was the truth? He was in love with a woman who was leaving for Florida in a few weeks? That sounded like a lame and made-up stupid way to blow her off. He didn’t want her to think of him as a jerk even though he probably was. “No. Nothing you did.”

“Then what is it?”

He leaned back against his car, pressing his palms into the hood. What could he say? He had a rash? He’d met someone? That last one was kind of sort of true. “I should go.”

She frowned. “What? That’s all you have to say?”

“Trust me, Rosa. You’d be thanking me if you knew my whole story.” And how screwed up he really was.

“People told me you were an ass and to stay away from you, but I said no. I’d give you a chance. Guess I should have listened, huh?” she said in a sharp voice, her Mexican accent becoming more pronounced than usual.

He shrugged. “Probably.” No, he really wasn’t that great of a guy, so what could he say for himself?

“Fine. I’ll see you around.” She turned and walked off without giving him a chance to respond. He let his head thud against the roof of his car.

***

At the end of the night, Jemma helped a very drunk, very happy Emily Rose into the Bradens’ house and up to bed.

They’d gone to a club in Richmond for the bachelorette party and Jemma had volunteered to be DD. They’d already dropped Carolina off at her hotel and Meg, Emily Rose’s bridesmaid, off at home. Emily Rose was Jemma’s last stop before heading back to Mary’s.

Meg and Emily Rose had gotten close during their senior year at Derring High. Jemma hadn’t met her until that night. Meg had been out of town at the beach with her boyfriend until that day. She’d come back in time for the bachelorette party and the rehearsal dinner.

Emily Rose wanted her three closest girlfriends to get along. Jemma wanted to try for Emily Rose, but everything felt forced. She felt further away from Emily Rose than ever around Carolina and Meg. The friendship the three of them shared seemed so easy and natural. Especially when it came to that Carolina.

Jemma realized that although she’d had a decent time that night, something still felt off. She and Emily Rose hadn’t had a real conversation since she’d gotten to Derring. Even in the few times they’d been alone, they mostly talked about Michael and their new lives. They rarely discussed anything deeper. They definitely didn’t talk about the past six years.

Jemma supposed it was best to move on. Still, something felt unfinished and not quite settled in every conversation they had. Standing right next to her best friend, she felt further away from her than she ever had in any of the six intervening years.

“Did I ever tell you you’re my best friend? Ever? I love you, girl.” Emily Rose giggled as she collapsed on top of the bed.

“I know,” Jemma said, removing Emily Rose’s sandals.

“You’ve always been here when it matters.” Her head lolled back against her pillows. She closed her eyes and smiled.

“Yeah.”

“I don’t need these.” Emily Rose shoved away the pain killers Jemma handed her.

“You will in a few hours,” Jemma said. Especially when Ms. F called her at six in the morning to get her going for a final day of wedding prep
.

“See? You take care of me and everything. You’re the best. My sister,” Emily Rose said. She lay precariously close to the edge of her bed. Jemma moved her closer to the wall so she wouldn’t be in such danger of falling off the bed.

She patted Emily Rose’s arm. “Yeah.”

Emily Rose wrapped her hand around Jemma’s arm and looked up at her. “I hope we’ll always be close.”

Jemma pushed back the urge to say what she wanted to—that they needed to talk and their friendship felt almost dead to her. “Me, too.”

“Thanks for coming home for me. I know how you feel about this place.”

“I’ll always be here for you when it matters. Remember? You just said it yourself.”

“I know.” She closed her eyes and Jemma walked out of the room, blinking back tears.

***

Late Friday morning, Davis ran some errands before the start of his shift at the restaurant. He was supposed to be there by noon, and it looked like he was actually going to be on time. Maybe that would shut his supervisor up for once.

On the way out of the post office with a fistful of mail, Davis was cornered by his lawyer. He froze in the doorway of the post office, staring up at Seth. Seth’s black hair was cut close and his naturally tan face was darker than usual. Davis knew he liked to drive out to the lake whenever he could spare a few hours. Seth wore a light colored suit with a green and white striped shirt underneath and no tie. Seth made it known that in his opinion ties were only good for two things—court and church.