The Dead Hunger Series: Books 1 through 5 (22 page)

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

We could all feel it.  It was palpable, like a putrid scent in the air or a low-hanging mist would be impossible to ignore.  The solemnity of the task that lay ahead had us all on the edge of tears. 

Even Hemp couldn’t be consoled.  He’d treated Jamie with a respect that none of
us would have afforded to any of the other infecteds.  He considered pain a factor when he poked, prodded, or attached things to her skin, or when he removed them.

He treated this thing like she was a member of the family, because she was.

I knew this.  I’d seen it.  And I appreciated it.

But how to do it; how to take her life, for
as much of a life as it was.  How to make sure it was clean and effective.  Hemp had some ideas, but I needed to make sure it would be fast.

Our guns lying in the grass beside us
beneath a 12’ x 12’ canopy set up with aluminum poles and thin guy wires, Hemp and I reclined in the grass watching the girls – and I mean all of them – working some target practice.

As they watched, Charlie walked to the target with a hammer and three nails.  She hammered in a nail at the top of the plywood backboard, and two at the bottom left and right.  Then she pulled a ½” diameter rope from around her waist and tied it around all three of them, essentially drawing an isosceles triangle.

She walked back and pulled an arrow from the quiver on her back.

“Ready?” she asked Trina.

Trina nodded.

“Don’t blink.”

“I won’t,” said Trina.  Gem stood beside them and smiled.

Flex watched with intensity. 

And Charlie counted quickly to three.  One arrow flew, then another, and another.  That fast.

And in each section of the triangle, the arrows pierced the center of the rope.

“Holy shit!” said Hemp.

“Took the words right out of my mouth,” I said.

“Nice,” said Gem.  “I gotta learn that shit.”

And so the girls continued practice.

Yes, even Trina.  She had become excellent at holding the Taurus .22 steady, and her trigger pulls were almost tender for a child of her years.  What none of us knew was if she would be prepared for the kick and the bang of a live round.

“I’d like to put a round in there for her,” Gem called to me. 

I nodded and held a thumbs up, then said, “Trini, this is a big deal, now you listen to Auntie Gem very carefully, okay?”

Trina had been listening to the heftier booms that the other guns made, though she was wearing ear protection as well as eye protection
.  She whipped off the earphones and said, “I get to shoot it?  Really shoot it?”

“If you listen to Gemmy you can do it more than once,” I said.

She leapt in the air again and again, and I did notice that as she held the gun, it remained pointed away from everyone.  If she could do it at this excitement level, I think she was about trained.

Gem knelt down and slid a bullet into the cartridge.  Then, looking quickly at me, she slid another in and snapped it closed again, spinning the
cylinder around to take advantage of the loads.  She then handed the gun back to Trina and turned her gently by the shoulders toward the nearest target.

“Now you NEVER shoot while someone is down range.  If you see anyone who is not a bad person in the direction of your gun, keep the barrel down, away from them, and never shoot it.  Now.  Think you’re ready to put a hole in that target?”

“Ready!” she shouted. 

I could not wipe the smile from my face.  This is exactly what I needed.  Hemp was in a similar state.  I slapped him on the arm, and we both smiled bigger.

Trina raised the gun with both little hands.  She pulled back the hammer with both thumbs working together.

Her arms straight out, she held the gun steady.

“Trini, I want you to aim for the center dot.  It’s red.  Just do the best you can, and remember how I told you to use the sights, okay?”

One eye was squeezed shut.  “I got it in there now,” she said.  “The stick thing is balanced in the V thing.  Can I shoot?”

“Remember the kick, baby,” I said. 

“Okay.  Shoot,” Gem said.

She fired the gun.  A hole appeared two inches from the center of the target, and Trina staggered back one step, like an Olympic gymnast who’d just missed her landing with a slight over rotation.

“Did I hit it?” she asked?

Gem applauded, and Charlie laid down her weapon and did the same.  Hemp and I stood and gave her the ovation she deserved.

“Yes!  You nearly hit the
bull’s-eye!”

Trina knelt down, put the gun on the ground, then stood up, raised both hands in the air and jumped up, screaming, “Fuck yes, I did!  Yay!”

And we all looked at each other and laughed our asses off.

After a few more shots and more
respectful handling of the .22, we felt comfortable that Trina was getting the hang of it.  Turns out she wasn’t as good as her first shot, but her little arms were getting tired.  She’d been playing with the empty gun long before she’d been allowed to load it, so we gave her some slack.

Gem, Charlie and Trina packed up their weapons and started talking about dinner and picking up some more fuel the next day.  Waving at us, they headed for the house.

We waved back, but as Hemp started to get up, I took him by the arm, holding him there.  The evening was fading to dusk, and Jamie wouldn’t leave my mind.

“I think I’d like to do it, Hemp.  No fanfare.  A bullet to the brain.  We know it works, we know it’s quick.  I don’t want to try anything cute that makes her suffer in any way.”

“Understood,” he said.  “Maybe let Gem say a goodbye, first?”

“I’m sure she’ll come in with me.  You don’t have to.  I think I’d actually prefer it be just me and Gem with her.”

“I don’t have any opposition to that, Flex.  You both loved her.  Makes sense.  Charlie and I will stay with Trina, and you can have your talk with her after.”

“I understand Beaker died about an hour ago,” I said.

Hemp nodded.  “Yeah.  We didn’t tell her yet.  Thought we’d just remove the pup and tell her when she noticed.  She knew he wasn’t doing well, so we tried to prepare her by explaining that especially in dogs, with such large litters, it’s quite common for some not to survive.”

“And did she grasp that?”

“She got into the whole heaven thing, and of course we explained that all good people and animals go there when they die.  Seemed like a good lead-in.”

“
Right.  You’re right.  It was.”

I looked at my watch. 
“I don’t think I want to eat before I do this,” I said.  “I’m hungry, but so is she.  The difference is, I’ll get to eat eventually – if I can.  She’ll never get what she wants.”

“I get it, Flex.  Want me to send Gem out?”

I nodded.  “Yeah.  Please.  Make sure Trina doesn’t leave the house, and ask Gem to bring the .44 Magnum with her, if you would.”

He nodded and stood, patted me on the
shoulder, gave it a squeeze, then began walking toward the house.

I had my
K7 with me, but whatever gun I used would be of no use to me anymore.  And I loved the Daewoo, so I couldn’t render it useless.  All I needed was one good, well-placed round.  The .44 would do the trick.

Hemp disappeared inside the house and I waited a moment in the fading daylight before mounting the steps
to the lab.

*****

Gem came in a few moments later, the .44 tucked in her waistband, her Uzi in its usual position over her shoulder, held there by the new brightly colored and beaded strap she and Trina had worked on.

She put down her gun, took out the .44 and put it on one of the stainless tables, then she came to me and put her arms around my neck.  She pressed her cheek to mine and we didn’t say a word.

I realized I was shaking.  The moment had come, and there was no backing out.  I’d put if off for weeks, and some good had come out of that decision; all we’d learned, watching her progression and recording it so that we wouldn’t forget. 

I’d never watch the recordings again, but Hemp would find cause to, most likely.  Good. 
The record of Jamie’s last days should be of some use to humankind.  The old Jamie would have wanted to do good.  Only good.  It was who she was.

I thought of being there with her in the room when Trina was born; she knew I had no kids and wasn’t likely to, so she asked if I’d like to watch my niece come into the world.  I’d never been present during a birth, and it was the miracle of life – and one I was grateful to see.

For that reason, Trina was special to me.  I saw her just as the light of this bright world touched her for the first time, and at that moment, she touched my heart forever.  I’d never known I had enough love inside my heart for this child too, as I’d already been surprised once with Jesse.

And now, as Gem pulled away and looked into my watering eyes, I knew the time had come and I needed to say my goodbyes.

I took Gem by the hand and we walked to the back room and opened the door.  Hemp had re-secured Jamie’s head, so she could not turn it.  There were no lights on in this room, as the generator would continuously run out of fuel if we kept too many things running, so I took two candles from the nearby counter and lit them with a fireplace lighter kept with them for that purpose.

We went inside and placed one on each side of the table upon which my sister was strapped.  The light flickered back and forth, its dimness mercifully concealing much of the deterioration of my sister’s face and skin.

I moved beside her and without hesitation, rested my hand on her bare arm.  She was cold; her skin rough and dry beneath my touch.  But I slid my thumb over it just the same, and stroked her as tenderly as I could manage.

“Jamie . . .” I began.  “It’s me, Flex.  Your brother.  I’m the one who used to chase you with lizards when we were kids, who protected you when you felt threatened, and who loved you more than I believe I ever told you.
  I’m the one who you made so happy when you married Jack.  I could see the love in his eyes and in your eyes, and I longed for that.  And when you had Jesse, I fell in love with her.  She was beautiful like you, and Jamie, she’s at peace.  You’ll be with her real soon.”

My eyes welled up and I had to stop.  Gem took my other hand and held tight to me.  I was shaking, and my watering eyes had become rivers.  I was starting to sob, but I bit my lip and continued, as best I could.

“And your little Trina is just inside the house over there, my house.  And Gem is back now, and I think we’ve got what you and Jack had, Jamie.  We’ve got that kind of love, and we’re taking good care of Trina.  We plan to raise her just as you would’ve done.”

“Except we’re letting her say fuck,” Gem said, smiling.

“Yes, except we’re letting her say fuck,” I repeated, and my laugh broke my sadness.  “But she’s a smart little one, Jamie.  Like her mama.  Smart.  And beautiful, too.  So I want you to go to sleep tonight, Jamie, and I want you to take Jesse’s hand and be her mama again.  She knows so well that you never meant to harm her.”

Gem leaned forward and released my hand.  “Jamie,” she said.  “I always loved you.  I wanted to be a mommy like you someday . . . I just didn’t realize I’d be called to be a mommy to your Trina.  But Jamie, I promise you with everything in me, I’ll always talk about you as an angel in heaven, and I’ll let her know you’re looking down on her, watching after her, and making sure she’s safe.  I promise you that, Jamie.  And for that, I only want you to promise me one thing.”

And Gem’s tears began to flow in a torrent.  I didn’t think she’d be able to say the one more thing.  But she closed her eyes and put a hand on Jamie’s shoulder.

“You take good care of my little rabbit, okay?  Take good care of her, please?  And remind her how much your brother and I love her.”

And with that, we both stood back.  I went to the counter and picked up the gun.  Gem took a thick sheet from the shelf against the wall and opened it into a quarter square, and laid it over Jamie’s face, already dim in the candle light. 

I placed the gun against her head, made sure I would hit her brain, and without hesitation, I fired once.

Then I fired again.

The echo of the .44 would stay with me forever.

The thing that had consumed my baby sister was dead.

And my Jamie was at peace.

CHAPTER
EIGHTEEN

Within fifteen seconds of the sound of the gunshots, the door to the lab opened, and Charlie came in with Hemp behind her.  I looked, and saw Trina standing just outside at the bottom of the stairs. 

Gem saw her too, and went to her and took her hand.  Hemp came to me and put his hands on my shoulders, facing me.

“I’m sorry, mate.  I know you loved her, and because you did, it was the right thing to do.  Now you and Gem take Trina inside, and Charlie and I will prepare her body for burial.”

I nodded.  I thought I should say thank you, but I didn’t think I could utter anything without breaking down.  As I walked by her, Charlie held her hand out and I took it briefly.  The small squeeze told me everything I needed to know and feel.  I was so glad we found her and made her a part of our little family.

I took Gem’s other hand and the three of us made our way back to the house.  I’d forgotten my gun, but in typical Gem fashion, Suzi was hanging off her shoulder at ready.

It was more than three hours before Charlie and Hemp came back in.  I didn’t realize it had been so long until they returned.  My mind was far away, and Trina had long gone to bed, leaving Gem and me in a comfortable silence – the silent thoughts of those we loved and would never see again.

“We dug the grave for a service tomorrow morning, Flex,” Hemp said.  “At the back of the yard.”

“Near the
tree line,” Charlie added.  “It’s shady and beautiful there, so . . .”

“It’s perfect,” I said.  “Thank you both so much for doing that for her, and for us.”

They sat in the arm chairs opposite the sofa and leaned back, the sweat still glistening on their skin.  It was now September in Georgia, and the nights were hot, too.  Digging in this weather was not an easy task.

“We’re a family,” Charlie said.  “I’ve felt it since I first arrived here at this house.  I loved the two of you immediately, but meeting Hemp and Trina just drove it all home for me.  I lost my blood family, but I’m not without.”

Gem stood and went to Charlie.  She held her arms out.

“
Get up, you sweaty mess.  I need a hug.”

Charlie couldn’t suppress a smile, and she stood with a grunt, and put her arms around Gem’s neck, as Gem’s arms wrapped tightly around her.

“This is going to sound really stupid,” Gem said.  She pulled away, put her palms on both of Charlie’s cheeks, and said, “You’re fucking awesome, and I love you, too.”

Then she put her cheek to Charlie’s, closed her eyes, and
eventually pulled away and went back to her seat.  Charlie fell back into her chair smiling.

“So tomorrow, then
,” I said.  “First light?”

Hemp looked at me and nodded.  “Sure.  Let’s get up early and dress in our Sunday best, for what they are.  A light breakfast, then we’ll have a service.”

I smiled.  “Tomorrow is Sunday, isn’t it?  That’s appropriate.  Jamie would’ve taken the girls to church while Jack would’ve played pool with his friends.  She didn’t care, though.  She told me once that he worked so hard during the week that if he wanted to play pool rather than sit in a pew, then he deserved it.  He loved her all the more for it.”

“I’m exhausted,” Gem said.  She looked at her watch.  It was 11:30.  “Flex and I didn’t even think about food tonight, so we’ll look forward to that breakfast, light or
heavy.”

She held out her hand, and I groaned myself to my feet.  “Night, guys.  Thanks again.  Love you both.”

They both waved at me, and I let Gem pull me toward our bed.

Then she stopped short, pulled me back in the living room, grabbed Suzi, and proceeded back toward the bedroom, me in tow.

“I’m slipping.  Getting too comfortable,” she said.

As Gem and I lay in bed, my arm over her shoulder and
our bodies tucked together, I said, “I never thought much about that Springsteen song, Atlantic City.  But there’s a repeating verse that I can’t get out of my head.”

“What’s that, baby?”

“Now, baby, everything dies, honey, that's a fact
But maybe everything that dies someday comes back...”

“Th
at is eerie.  I don’t think I like that song anymore,” Gem said.

Her breathing grew long and steady, and within a minute, I knew she was asleep.
  And I was right behind her.

*****

The next morning we all got up and did what we said we’d do.  It was Sunday, so we put on our cleanest, if not our best clothes – it was time to do laundry, and we all hated it – and went in for breakfast.   Hemp had learned to make bread sometime or other, and during the big bread machine craze I actually bought one, along with all the mixes needed.

Hemp put it to work and we had some nice bread, sliced just right.  Charlie made some cinnamon toast with light butter, and coffee all around.  It was perfect.  But the hard part was about to happen, and I
watched Trina gobble down her last piece of toast before clearing my throat.

“Trina, we have to talk to you about something.”

“Are we not gonna be able to say fuck anymore?” she said, indignantly.

Gem shook her head.  “That’s not it, baby.  You can still say it.  It’s about your mommy and big sister.”

“Jesse?  Mommy?  Are they back?”

“No, they’re not, Trini,” I said.  “There was . . . well, you know some of what’s going on?  How we carry guns around and we watch for bad people?”

“Yes.  And always to listen to the adults when they tell me to do something because it’s different now.”

“Well,” I said.  “you always listened really good.  But what I have to tell you is hard, because I love your mommy and Jesse, too.”

I looked at Gem, and my words were stuck in my throat.  She took my hand beneath the table and squeezed.

“Trina, your mommy and sister have gone to Heaven.  They’ve become angels now, and they’re watching over all of us now.”

Trina stared at me, her eyes excited at first at the thought, but then her brow furrowed, and her little eyes wrinkled as much as little eyes can.

“They . . . died?”

Hearing the words come out of her lips caught me off guard.  I hadn’t been able to use the ‘dead’ or ‘death’ or ‘died’ words.  But she had.

I nodded.  “That’s right, Trini.  So you won’t see them anymore – not in the physical sense, anyway.  But whenever you see something that makes you smile or laugh, you’ll know that they’re smiling and laughing, too.  That’s how it works.  They feel your joy, and it gives them joy, too.”

She nodded, and Gem smiled at me.

“So when I’m happy, mommy and Jesse are happy?  So if I’m happy all the time, so will they be?”

“I’m pretty sure it works just like that.  I know we’ll miss them, but I do have some picture albums here that we can look at when you want.  And remember the video, too.  Do you think that would make you sad, or do you think that would make you happy?”

Trina smiled.  “I’d be happy to see them on a video.”

Charlie said, “I tell you what, Trina.  We’re going to have a ceremony this morning where we get to say good bye to your mommy and sister.  We’re all going to take something that means a lot to us, put it in a hole in the ground, and we say a prayer over it, then cover it up.  And then we say a prayer for your mommy and sister, too.  And you can bring wildflowers.”

“Beaker means a lot to me.  Can I bury him in the hole?”

We all looked at one another in shock.

“You knew he died?” Hemp asked.

“Yeah,” Trina said.  “I found him yesterday.  I figured it out.”

“He was sick, baby,” Charlie said.
  “He’s at peace now.  Sure you can bring him.  We’ll put him in a little box and you can decorate it if you like.”

“Okay,” she said.  “I’ll decorate it first,
then
we can put him in.  I think that’s better.”

Charlie laughed.  “Yes.  Makes much more sen
se.  I’ll get you some markers and we’ll get the kitchen cleaned up while you prepare the box.”

*****

The ceremony was short and sweet.  We’d all been through enough.  Last night, Hemp and Charlie had wrapped Jamie’s body tightly in stretch wrap that’s normally used for palletized goods, making the cocoon airtight.  They then dug the hole, put her in the grave, and covered her with about two feet of dirt.  Two more feet remained to be filled, so as far as Trina knew, this was just a symbolic hole.

I had a
tee-shirt from a Billy Vera and the Beaters concert that Jamie had given me, and I put that in the grave.  Gem had a tattered copy of Watership Down that she had left at my place before we split up, and was delighted to find it.  She knew it was the perfect tribute to her Rabbit, so she kissed it and dropped it in as well.

Hemp had picked up some Earl Grey tea at the store, and threw two teabags in – one for Jesse and one for Jamie.  His British contribution.

And following in my footsteps, Charlie tossed in her beloved AC/DC concert tee shirt. 

And finally, in a gloriously decorated little cardboard box, Trina knelt down and dropped the box containing her lost pup Beaker into the hole. 

We stood back in silence, and I closed my eyes.

“We honor the lives of Jamie and Jesse, the love they shared and the light they shined on this Earth.  As we stand here missing them in our hearts and souls, we also turn our faces to the heavens and know they’re looking down upon us with love and hope for the future.  God bless the two newest angels – our guardian angels – whose presence will give us comfort for the remainder of our lives.”

Tears streamed down the faces of each of us.  We all came together, arms around one another, and when our group embrace met its natural conclusion, Hemp and I picked up the shovels and began filling in the hole.

When
the earth was mounded over the grave, Trina took the handful of tiny wildflowers she’d found and put them in the center of the grave.

She was
a brave, strong little girl, like her mommy and sister.  My heart ached for the loss we shared.

Then
we all began walking back to the house.

Gem and Charlie got there first, with Trina between them, swinging on their hands.  Hemp and I brought up the rear, our guns over our shoulders. 

The girls had entered the house already, but when Hemp and I were twenty feet from the door, we heard a sound from beyond the tree line.

A
snapping, crackling sound, the sound of a tree branch rustling.  Startled moans. 

Then again. 
And again. 

The moans were constant
now.

I looked toward the
forest, then back at Hemp, then checked my gun even as he checked his.  We both had additional magazines on us.

“You and me,” I said.  “Now.”

“You’ve got to warn them,” Hemp said.

He was right and I knew it.  I ran to the door and stuck my head in.  “Stay inside, get your weapons and wait for us.”

Gem looked at me, her face pale.  “Flex, what is –”

“No time,” I interrupted. “Be ready, but stay inside.”

I rejoined Hemp and we jogged toward the forest.

*****

As we ducked under the low-hanging branches, we scanned the line of traps.   The four we could see had all snagged zombies.  Three males and one female struggled against the snares, but to no avail.  Hemp ran toward the first one and fired a shot into the thing’s brain and it fell still.

I didn’t like going in, but we’d committed.  I ran to the second trap and as the
woman-creature floundered there, snarling, snapping, and trying to scratch me with her remaining fingernails, I fired directly into her face, destroying it, and the brain behind it.  That one also fell motionless.

And then we heard rustling all around us.  I looked up to see twenty – no, at least thirty of them closing in.

We were surrounded.

Hemp ran to me, and we positioned ourselves back-to-back, our guns held up.

And we worked our way through magazine after magazine of ammo, knowing we would run out before they were all dead.

“The girls,” I said
, turning my head toward Hemp.

“I know,” Hemp replied, in between shots.

“God help them,” I said.  “Please, let there be a God to help them.”

I fired my weapon with intensity, exploding the heads of the zombies approaching me and Hemp from all sides, and I felt his back against me reverberating as he did the same.