The Deal, the Dance, and the Devil (23 page)

Chapter 36

I
T DIDN’T SEEM TO HIT
A
DAM
until the day before. That was the first time he initiated any kind of conversation that had anything to do with the deal.

The morning before he was set to leave, he rolled over and wrapped his arm around my waist. I was barely conscious when the heat of his morning breath tickled my ear and he whispered, “What time are the girls leaving for their party tomorrow?”

Tomorrow. The day. No more countdown.

“Early, I think. About five.”

There was a pause before he asked, “What about Ethan?”

Adam couldn’t see my frown. My plan had been to have Ethan here with me. We’d watch the ball in Times Square together and maybe toast the new year with some sparkling cider.

But really, I hadn’t thought that all the way through. Did I really want Ethan to see his father walk out the door to be with
another woman? I mean, we could have told him a couple of lies—we’d become good at that. But watching Adam leave was going to be traumatic enough for me. I didn’t want Ethan to witness that.

Adam said, “I want us to spend New Year’s together.”

I rolled away from him, swung my legs over the edge of the bed, then twisted to face him. “You must’ve forgotten. You have a date.”

“Don’t say it like that, Shine. It’s not like this is something I wanted to do. We both agreed.”

I held up my hand. “I know. I’m sorry.” I ran my hand along the side of my hair, pushing the edges back into my ponytail. I wasn’t really trying to fix my hair, I just needed time. Then I started over. “What were you talking about? Us spending New Year’s together?”

“I know I have to … leave at nine. But we can have a few hours just to ourselves before then.”

I shook my head. That’s not what I wanted to do. Really, I wanted to wallow in my misery. This would be the first New Year’s since I was fifteen that I would spend without Adam—my plan was to cry all night.

He said, “Please, Shine. I won’t be able to do this, to go through with this if I can’t … first … be with you.”

There it was again. Those special words that made me melt. And made me return to our bed.

I leaned over him. “We’ll celebrate together. Tomorrow. Before …”

Our kiss ended our conversation.

Chapter 37

G
OD WAS FULL OF MERCY FOR
me on New Year’s Eve, because I had no time to think about the hour that was closing in.

The day was all about the twins, and getting them ready for what they called their first real grown-up party. I rushed to the store for last-minute accessories, packed for the slumber party, and listened to all the chatter and the giggles about who was going to be there.

Now the bags were packed, the girls were downstairs, and we were just waiting for their ride.

Until Alexa yelled out, “OMG!” startling all of us. “I don’t have my PINK pajama bottoms. What was I thinking?” she yelled, dashing up the staircase. “I would just die if I didn’t have them.”

My eyes were on Alexa, my drama queen, until I turned back to Alana. Her eyebrows were bunched together—a unibrow frown.

“What’s wrong, honey?”

“Are you all right?” She directed the question to me but glanced at Adam at the same time.

It took me just a moment to get myself together enough to lie to the sensitive one. “Of course. I’m just fine.”

Then Adam piped in with, “Your mom’s just a little sad.”

Now my eyebrows were as burrowed as Alana’s.

“Why?” our daughter asked.

I asked the same thing, but only I kept my words inside. Was he really going to bring our children into our mess? He couldn’t be thinking that—it would be too much for them. Hell, it was too much for me.

“Well, tomorrow,” Adam began, “I have to go on a business trip.” His lie was so fluid, so smooth. “I’ll be back on Sunday, so it won’t be long. But it’s not the best way to start the new year. So, your mom’s sad about that. And I am, too.”

“Oh,” Alana said, grabbing me. “But you won’t be going till tomorrow, right?”

Both of us lied with our nods.

“So, you’ll have a great New Year’s together, and then I’ll take care of Mom while you’re away, Daddy.”

“Take care of Mom for what?” Alexa said, rushing into the living room.

Outside, a car horn blared three long beeps, and Alana peeked out the window. “They’re here!” she exclaimed. To her sister, she said, “I’ll fill you in on Mom and Dad in the car.”

Two weeks ago, Alexa would have stopped right then and asked me and her father if we still had jobs. But now that her life had returned to normal, it didn’t matter whether her parents were employed or not.

Each girl grabbed her suitcase, gave us hugs and kisses with extra wishes for a happy new year, then trotted out the door. We watched as they jumped into Sara Tembleton’s SUV and waved until the car disappeared.

Facing Adam, I said, “This next one we’re going to have to handle together.”

Ethan was in his room, stretched out on his bed with his headphones on. But when Adam and I walked in, he shot straight up, leaned against the headboard, crossed his arms and legs, and glared at us.

“I’m not going!” He made sure we heard every bit of his anger and determination.

If I was in my son’s place, I would’ve been saying the same thing. But what was I to do? Dougie, Ethan’s best friend, had left for vacation with his family. And Sylvester, his next closest friend, was in bed with the flu. I couldn’t call Tamica or Brooklyn, the next logical choices, because then they’d want to stay with me, and I needed to do tonight alone.

So the only person left to take care of my son was my mother. Since Cashmere and her kids lived there, Ethan would have to spend the night with his criminals-in-training cousins, too.

“Ethan …” Adam began, but he didn’t get further than our son’s name.

“I’m not going,” he said to his father. Then to me, he pleaded, “Please, please, Mom. Don’t make me go.”

“If I had any other choice,” I began. Then I started thinking—why
did
Ethan have to leave? Why should he be punished because of what Adam and I were about to do?

But Adam must’ve known that I was beginning to crack, because he said, “Son, it’s just for one night. Do this for me, please.”

“I can stay here by myself. You and Mom can go out and I won’t do anything. I’ll stay in my room, I promise.”

“It’s going to be fine, son. Just one night. You guys will watch the ball in Times Square and then go to bed. By the time you wake up in the morning, your mother will be there to
bring you home.” Adam paused and went for the bribe. “I have to go away … on a business trip … tomorrow. But when I get back, we’ll do something special … together … okay?”

Our son didn’t budge.

I grabbed Ethan’s bag. “Come on,” I said, in the gentlest and kindest voice I could. “We have to leave now.”

Ethan snatched his PlayStation, stomped by his father, refused to say good-bye, and jumped into my Lexus as if he was being driven to death row.

The look on Adam’s face told me that he was feeling exactly the way I was, but we needed these last few hours together, alone. This time was going to be as important for our children as it was for us.

But I was hit hard by the realization that what we were about to do was already affecting our children. I’d never thought that the deal we’d made was just about me and Adam; everyone would benefit from the money. I just hadn’t realized that anyone else would be adversely affected by our actions, too.

Just forty-eight hours,
I thought as I drove Ethan to my mother’s house.
Just forty-eight hours.

Chapter 38

I
T TOOK ME A MOMENT TO
turn off the ignition after I maneuvered the car back into the driveway. In just a couple of hours, I would be saying my second difficult good-bye of the day.

The huge tears that had been in Ethan’s eyes when I’d stopped in front of my mother’s home had almost made me call off this whole thing. But I’d sucked it up and had begged Ethan to do the same thing.

He’d tried, but when my mother had opened the door and Ethan had stepped inside, his sadness had been palpable. Though he’d needed me, there was no way I could have stayed. Not even for a little while, because if I’d stayed, I’d have taken him with me when I’d left.

So, all I’d done was kiss Ethan good-bye with a promise to be there before he even woke up in the morning. He’d blinked back his tears and glared at me as if by morning, he might not love me anymore.

That was when I’d left—I’d left my son so that I could go home and watch my husband leave me.

Now I was back home. I didn’t want to go inside because as soon as I did, it would be the beginning of our good-bye. But like I’d asked Ethan to do, I inhaled courage and made the trek to our front door.

I stepped inside. And stopped. And took a deep breath as I stared at the garment bag at the base of the staircase. Adam’s bag, already packed—the first sign that this was really happening.

I blinked back emotions—no need to get upset or angry or even to be sad. All I needed to do was to pray for time to move forward so that this could be behind us.

It was just a weekend.

It was just forty-eight hours.

Still, it was hard to take my eyes from the suitcase. Not even when I heard our bedroom door open. Not even when I felt Adam come to my side.

“You packed,” I stated.

“I didn’t want you to waste time on that.”

The thing was, though, I wanted to be the one to pack his bag. Not only because that’s what I always did, but now I had to wonder what he was taking. What kinds of clothes did he think were appropriate for Shay-Shaunté? Was he taking his best? What about nighttime—did he pack pajamas, or did he plan to sleep the way he did with me—in the nude?

I trembled, but Adam was right there to steady me.

“Are you all right?”

“I will be.”

He paused, waiting a moment for me to get myself together. When it looked like I would make it on my own two feet, Adam said, “I fixed you a little something. A light dinner. Something special. In here.” He led me toward our bedroom,
and when I stepped inside, thoughts of what was about to go down were tossed aside by memories of 1993.

I giggled with surprise at the tray tables at the foot of our bed, covered with the best feast—a platter of steamed shrimp and a plate piled high with grilled cheese sandwiches.

“Oh, my God.” I pointed to the clear plastic pitcher. “Don’t tell me that’s Kool-Aid?”

He nodded, full of excitement. “Do you remember?”

“How can I forget? Our first New Year’s Eve.”

It was 1993 and the first time Adam and I were going to celebrate New Year’s together. I didn’t have any money—I was only fifteen—but I still wanted the night to be special. I’d asked Adam earlier in the day what his favorite foods were. He told me shrimp and grilled cheese sandwiches.

So since this was going to be the first meal I would ever make for my man, I wanted to serve all of his favorites. That’s what I did: shrimp, grilled cheese sandwiches, and a bottomless pitcher of red Kool-Aid packed with sugar.

“This is wonderful,” I said as I kissed him.

The kiss was meant to be a thank-you, because of course we were going to share in this feast first. But the moment our lips touched, a current surged through every part of us and the sparks were ignited.

Adam tore my clothes away as if he was desperate to get to my body. In just a few rips, I was naked before him, and he lifted me, but passed by the bed. Instead, he laid me on my back in front of the fireplace.

He stared down at my nakedness, but I was impatient. I reached for him, but he shook his head. “I just want to take in you. All of you.”

Long, agonizing moments went by before he gifted me with his presence and lowered himself next to me. “You are so beautiful,” he whispered right before his tongue danced behind my ear.

It was my turn to return the favor and I split his shirt in two before I ripped his jeans from his waist.

The chiseled perfection that was his chest was hot to my touch. His heat revealed his desire, and that only made me want him more. For a millisecond, an image of Shay-Shaunté with her own perfection floated through my mind.

But then the tip of Adam’s tongue found my chest, and I fell back into the pleasure, losing control of my mind and every thought inside. The tips of his fingers followed his tongue and I moaned—one deep, continual groan of pleasure.

Adam took his time, as if we would be together all night. He tasted every inch of me, this cool tongue setting my skin on fire. It was all that I could do to hold back the volcano that was bubbling inside.

Every part of my body ached for him, craved him, wanted him so badly.

“Please,” I whispered.

He shook his head. “Tonight,” his voice was as low as mine, “it’s all about you.”

His tongue trailed a path to my center, and by the time he got to that place that held every bit of my glory, I swore that smoke was seeping from my pores.

“Please,” I begged him again.

But he was not done until a complete rush of bliss consumed me. Only then did he give himself to me.

At the end, there was no way that I could move. Really, I wondered if I’d ever be able to move again. But then Adam took my hand and lifted me from the floor. Snatching the comforter from our bed, he wrapped both of us inside before we sat in front of the feast that was our dinner.

With only the hum of Northwest D.C. surrounding us, we fed each other shrimp, took bites of the perfectly grilled cheese
sandwiches, and sipped Kool-Aid out of mason jars that were just like the ones our mothers had had when we were growing up.

Satisfied in every physical way, we stretched out in the silence and leaned against the edge of the bed and each other.

Behind us, the clock pushed the minutes forward even as we tried to ignore that our time was coming to an end.

It was Adam who broke our quiet, our peace. “There’s one last thing that I want you to do with me.”

I nodded, though I didn’t like his use of the word
“last.”
Arm in arm, we walked to the shower, and there we washed each other; not sexually, only sensually.