The Demon Collector (10 page)

‘He doesn’t look like a demon,’ Plumphrey muttered, pulling off his specs.

‘
Are
you a demon?’ Sokket leaned over the table and squinted through the lenses at Edgy.

‘No!’ Edgy snapped. ‘Erm, no, sir, I’m not.’

‘He says he used to help Thammuz solve riddles too,’ Janus said, nodding and pointing a finger in the air.

‘Good at riddles, eh, lad?’ Mauldeth sneered. He raised one eyebrow and smiled triumphantly. ‘Tell me then, what is as ancient as the earth but only one month old?’ He sat back in his chair, looking sidelong at his fellow governors with a self-satisfied grin.

‘The moon, sir. Beggin’ your pardon, sir,’ Edgy muttered. He felt awful answering so quickly but it was an old riddle and simple really.

Mauldeth’s neck went red this time and Janus beamed at his brother’s discomfort.

‘He has you there, Mauldeth,’ Plumphrey chortled. ‘How do you do that, lad?’

‘I don’t know, sir. Tal . . . Thammuz taught me to riddle as a nipper, sir.’

‘Riddles are the basic currency of demons, Edgy. They greet, trick and challenge each other with them, trade with them, all kinds of things. Demons love complexity and challenges. It is said that a demon can never resist a riddle,’ Milberry said, noticing Edgy’s confused expression and taking pity on him. ‘Being good at riddles is a must when dealing with demons.’

‘Either that or being a good shot with an ossifier, eh, little brother?’ Mauldeth said, sipping at his port and shooting a barbed smirk at Janus. ‘Four in two days. It’s getting to be like old times.’

‘I had no choice.’ Janus gave Edgy a meaningful glance. ‘I had to ossify them.’

‘You
had
to?’ Milberry asked, narrowing her eyes.

‘They were threatening the boy,’ Janus said. ‘I suspect they would have killed him.’

‘You know we only use ossification as a last resort, Envry.’ Milberry looked stern. ‘How can we encourage more associate demons if you go around killing them?’

‘One almost killed me,’ Janus said quietly. ‘If it wasn’t for Edgy, it would have.’

‘So the boy saved your bacon, eh?’ Mauldeth said, regaining some of his composure.

Edgy could see Janus’s jaw muscles tighten as he bit back a retort.

‘Well, I for one would be happy to see more of these blasted creatures turned to stone,’ Plumphrey muttered, breaking the tension. ‘I remember Thammuz. Very fond of sending plagues of buttock boils to make people miserable.’

‘Could he do that?’ Sokket went a lighter shade of grey.

‘He’s nothing more than a stone gargoyle now, Mortesque.’ Mauldeth shook his head. ‘Your buttocks are safe . . . from him, anyway.’

Sokket shuffled in his seat and glanced sideways at Plumphrey. ‘It’s just that, well, remember the curse of the whistling flatulence back in thirty-two? Most embarrassing . . . and inconvenient.’

‘Lasted a month.’ Plumphrey’s red face faded to a mild pink and a haunted look came into his eye. ‘The shame . . .’

‘You think we can use the boy?’ Milberry gave Janus a hard stare.

‘Think of it: he could detect demons without them knowing. They get wise to the Hades Lenses. One sniff of a pair of red spectacles and they’re off!’ Janus said. ‘And he’s a sharp wit with the riddles.’

‘But the budget –’ Plumphrey began.

‘Give over, Roland,’ Mauldeth yawned, filling his glass again. ‘We’re rolling in cash – hardly anybody in the government even knows we exist.’

‘But if there was an audit?’

‘When was the last one?’ Milberry cut in.

‘Not sure, really,’ Plumphrey said, glancing around the room and shuffling through some dusty old documents in front of him. ‘Ah, here we are . . . 1703,’ he said, drumming his fingers on the table.

‘Go on then, Envry.’ Mauldeth raised his glass to Edgy. ‘Have your servant boy. All agreed?’

‘But try to avoid any more ossifications,’ Milberry said. ‘We simply must get away from our past reputation. We are scientists, observers and recorders – not demon hunters.’

The panel grunted and murmured in a fairly positive way. Janus nodded, grabbed Edgy’s elbow and steered him out of the door.

‘Shouldn’t we record it in the minutes?’ he heard Plumphrey say.

‘When were the minutes last taken, Roland?’ Sokket asked with a weary roll of his eyes.

‘Oh, er, 1705 . . .’

A smirk crept across Edgy’s face.

‘Try to keep him alive this time, Envry, there’s a good chap,’ Sokket called after them.

Edgy’s smile faded.

Trotting after Janus seemed to be becoming a habit. Edgy looked down at Henry, beginning to understand how he must feel as Janus stamped down the corridor.

‘Well, that went better than I expected,’ he said over his shoulder. ‘But did you hear the pompous oaf?’ Janus put on a nasal drawl that sounded surprisingly like his elder brother. ‘
Have your servant boy
. You see why I don’t tell them my concerns about Salomé, Edgy? They wouldn’t understand. I was so pleased when you guessed his riddle right off. Ha! That put his nose out of joint!’

‘Just doin’ what comes natural, sir,’ Edgy said, blushing with pride. Mauldeth deserved the humiliation, he thought. Janus was right. Mauldeth was a snob. At least Janus treated Edgy with some respect.

‘Good man.’ Janus grinned over his shoulder. ‘Right, get some rest and report to me first thing tomorrow. You’re now officially an employee of the Royal Society of Daemonologie! And our first mission is to find out where the corpse of Moloch lies.’

O, where are you going to?

I am going to my school
.

O what are you going there for?

For to learn the word of God
.

I wish you was on the sands.

Yes, and a good staff in my hands
.

I think I hear a bell.

Yes, and it’s ringing you to hell
.

‘False Knight on the Road’, traditional folk ballad

Chapter Twelve

The First Errand

‘Thought you weren’t coming back,’ Sally muttered, standing by the door to his room one morning. For all her saying she wasn’t a ghost, Sally did a grand job of haunting Edgy’s bedroom.

‘Yeah, well, it’s not that bad, is it?’ Edgy snapped, barging past her. ‘Three good meals a day, indoor work an’ clean clothes. An’ I don’t have to do anythin’ more dangerous than climb a ladder to get a heavy book from a high shelf.’

‘That’s what
he
said too,’ Sally hissed.

Edgy froze as he closed the door. He could feel the cold draught of her gaze. ‘Who?’

‘Bernard,’ Sally whispered. ‘Thought it was all beer an’ skittles until he got his skull caved in . . .’

Edgy twitched. ‘That won’t happen to me,’ he croaked, trying to sound brave.

Although he’d been there less than a week, Edgy already had a rough idea of the layout of the upper floors of the Society. By day, he kept busy, carrying books for Janus and cleaning his study, and the fellows sent him scurrying about the passages with memorandums and letters. By night, he would sit beside Janus as he pored over ancient manuscripts, searching for any clue as to the whereabouts of Moloch.

‘Take this to Professor Plumphrey and be quick about it,’ Mauldeth would snap. He glowered at Edgy whenever they met and, to make matters worse, Henry was banned from Mauldeth’s quarters because of the chancellor’s bad-tempered cat.

‘Tell Trimdon that I need more roast chicken,’ Plumphrey would bluster, barely acknowledging Edgy, while Sokket would just stare at him or leave notes as if he couldn’t bring himself to actually talk to him.

Milberry was different, though. While the other fellows’ rooms – and even Janus’s study – were dull, with leather seats and book-lined walls, her office teemed with all manner of plants and flowers. It was like a small forest. Vines tumbled from pots on shelves, huge palms sprouted from massive vases. Small finches even flitted among the branches of some of the larger specimens, and in the centre of all this sat Professor Anawald Milberry.

She had been writing at her desk when Edgy first entered the room. She stopped and smiled at him. Edgy smiled back.

‘And how are you settling in?’ she said, taking the memorandum from Edgy.

‘Fine, ma’am,’ he replied, glancing around at the thick foliage that filled the room. Had he just seen a pair of emerald eyes glaring out from one of the bushes to his left?

‘Don’t worry, Edgy,’ Milberry smiled, running her stubby fingers through her brown wiry hair. ‘The demons I collect are friendly on the whole. They’re nature spirits. Quite harmless unless provoked.’

‘Right, ma’am,’ Edgy nodded. He wasn’t convinced. Looking more closely, he could see that some of the plant specimens actually had eyes and mouths deep within their foliage.

‘They’re my family,’ she said, picking up a watering can and pouring its contents into the nearest plant pot. She turned and frowned, looking at Edgy with kindly concern. ‘Do you have any family, Edgy Taylor?’ she asked.

‘No, ma’am,’ he said, scraping the toe of his boot on the tiled floor. He looked up. ‘Have you, ma’am?’ He flinched. The question had just come out. He hadn’t meant to ask. She would think him so impertinent.

Milberry gave a sigh and a shrug. ‘Only these,’ she said, waving her hands at the plants that surrounded her.

‘I’m sorry, ma’am. I shouldn’t have asked,’ Edgy said, blushing under her gentle gaze.

Her face crinkled into a kind smile. ‘Not to worry, young man, you and I are in the same boat, it would seem. We can look after each other,’ she said. Her expression became serious. ‘So tell me, have you been out yet?’

Edgy frowned. ‘No, ma’am.’

‘Well, just take care when you do,’ she said, with a look of concern. ‘Don’t get drawn into any of his mad schemes . . .’

‘No, ma’am,’ Edgy said, backing out of the room.

Janus had shown Edgy nothing but kindness since he’d taken him in. Only yesterday, he’d spent a whole morning showing Edgy the exhibition hall in more detail, telling him stories of arch-demons and sprites, of angels and devils. Spinorix had followed them around, eyeing Edgy at first but his cold stare seemed to thaw as Edgy’s interest became apparent. And Edgy
was
becoming more interested.

‘It’s a fascinating world, Edgy,’ Janus said, his eyes gleaming. ‘There’s more to discover than we ever can and stranger things than we can imagine.’

‘D’you think I’ll be able to make a discovery one day, Mr Janus?’ Edgy asked, his heart pounding with excitement.

‘If I have anything to do with it, young man.’ He nodded, patting Edgy’s back. ‘You’ll be at the heart of the greatest discovery yet.’

Two weeks later, Janus summoned Edgy to the entrance hall on an errand. Edgy hurried up there to find Janus pacing back and forth by Slouch’s sofa. Slouch’s feet poked up over the arms of the chair. Loud snoring echoed around the hall.

‘Now, keep your wits about you,’ Janus said, rummaging in his jacket pocket. ‘I have a letter here. I want you to take it to a business associate of mine.’

‘Right, sir.’ Edgy swallowed hard.

Outside. Janus was asking him to venture outside, where Salomé and the Cult of Moloch were. He glanced down at the address.

Evenyule Scrabsnitch

The Emporium of Archaic Antiquities

13 Jesmond Street, London

Evenyule Scrabsnitch? What kind of a name is that?

‘Is it safe, sir?’ Edgy gulped.

‘You don’t need me to tell you that it mightn’t be a straightforward task. You know that not everyone is well disposed towards the Royal Society. You might meet a bit of . . . mischief on your way. But you’ve proved yourself to be resourceful and quick on your feet.’

Edgy gave a brittle grin. ‘Don’t worry, Mr Janus, I can handle meself in the streets.’

‘I know you can, Edgy, but if you meet Salomé again . . .’ Janus’s voice dropped to a near whisper ‘. . . then run. Run for all you’re worth and don’t let her see that letter.’

‘No problem,’ Edgy said, trying to sound casual, but he couldn’t help shuddering. He felt the blood drain from his face.

Janus had spent long hours questioning Edgy about his encounter with Salomé. He wanted to know what she looked like. How she moved, spoke, laughed. How she dressed. What she said. Everything.

‘You did well to escape her last time. She is a truly crafty demon. We know what she wants and she might be curious about what we know.’

‘I wouldn’t give nothin’ away, Mr Janus, trust me.’

‘Don’t even talk to her, Edgy, just throw your salt and run,’ Janus continued, stuffing a small leather sack of salt into Edgy’s hand.

‘Righto, Mr Janus,’ Edgy whispered, pushing the letter and pouch into his jacket pocket.

A gloomy silence hung over the dilapidated Eden Square. Edgy shivered at the bronze statue of Satan, its face contorted with rage. He looked at the letter again. The address would take him back over the river. He hadn’t been north since the day Bernard died.