The Desire (27 page)

T
hey carried Ayana back to the car. She woke up at some point along the way. But she remained perfectly calm, content to let Michele hold her. Henok drove the car slowly on their way back to the grandmother's hut. All the while, Michele's excitement grew. She was convinced that the thought—that she was holding the little girl God meant for her to have—did not come from her own imagination. It was something she'd never experienced before but heard others talk about: the still small voice of God.

She didn't know how it would all work out, but she was sure it would. She looked at Allan in the front seat, wishing they could be alone so she could tell him what had happened.

He turned in his seat toward her. “How's she doing?”

“She seems fine. I can't believe how brave she is. Most children would be crying. I think the bleeding stopped. I'll still feel better when we can get it cleaned up properly and bandaged.”

“Perhaps we shouldn't mention the cut to her grandmother,” Henok said. “She will want to care for it using the best means she has, but we have much better medical supplies at the orphanage.”

Michele looked down at Ayana. Her big eyes roamed all about the car. “Do you think she has ever been in a car before?”

“I doubt it,” Allan said. “This would be like our first ride in an airplane. Or maybe even a spaceship. Have you ever flown in a plane before, Henok?”

“A few times. But only small two-seater planes. Never a big airliner. I have never been out of the country before.”

“We'll have to see what we can do about that,” Allan said. “I wouldn't be surprised if someday in the future God makes that possible.”

That got a big smile from Henok. He pulled the car over. “Here we are.” They got out of the car.

“You want me to take her?” Allan said.

“Just until I get out,” Michele said. “Do you mind if I carry her a little while longer?”

“Not at all.”

Once out of the car, Michele wasn't sure Ayana wanted to come back to her. She was squeezing Allan's neck so tight. But when Michele reached for her, the little girl let go of Allan and reached back. Michele picked her up and followed the two men through the dirt walkway that led from the muddy street, through the fence, and into the row of shacks and huts. Ayana's eyes instantly locked on to the doorway where her grandmother lived.

She knew where home was.

Michele couldn't help but recall their neighborhood in River Oaks, the view from the sidewalk to their front door. Or even the view coming in from the garage through the courtyard and back patio.
Lord
, she prayed,
someday let that
be what Ayana thinks of when she thinks of home
.

Henok led them into her grandmother's hut. The old
woman greeted them warmly. When she looked at Michele holding Ayana, she said something.

Henok interpreted. “She likes you, her grandmother said.”

Michele hugged her gently. “Tell her I like her too.” Henok did.

Then he spoke to both Allan and Michele. “With your permission, I'd like to explain to her grandmother the situation and our plans. I think it's best if she explains everything to Ayana herself. Of course, I will interpret what I'm saying as I go.”

“We're fine with that, Henok,” Allan said.

“Perhaps you should let me hold Ayana for a moment,” he said, “so that she can be looking into her grandmother's eyes as she speaks.” Michele handed Ayana to him. Looking at both the woman and the child, he said in their language: “Allan and Michele would like to do what they came here to do today, now, if you approve. But only if you approve. If you have any reservations, they can come back later this evening, or even tomorrow. They don't want to rush you in any way. They also think it might be wise for you to explain things to Ayana in your own words, since she knows you the best. If you'd like, you can do it now. Or if you'd rather, we can step outside to give you privacy, or even come back later.”

Michele thought Ayana looked a little confused by this exchange. The grandmother seemed to grasp everything clearly. She said something to Henok in reply.

He looked at them and interpreted. “She has been praying since we left to find Ayana. She says God has put her heart at rest and has assured her she need not carry the burden of Ayana's welfare on her shoulders any longer. God has brought you.” He pointed to Allan. “I think she means through the
orphanage, to care for Ayana from now on. So she is ready to do this today. Even now.”

“Great,” Allan said. “Then let's do this.”

Henok released Ayana to sit close to her grandmother, who held her chin as she spoke. Henok stood next to Michele and Allan, quietly interpreting what she said.

“My sweet Ayana, you have heard me pray many times since these men came to visit us a while ago. God has answered our prayers today. He has brought Henok and this couple from America to bring you to a wonderful new place to live. It is not far from here, so we will see each other again. You will have your own bed and clean clothes and never have to search through garbage for food again. And you will not be alone. Henok tells me he is bringing five other children from the village to this place. And two very nice women from the city will live there with you, to take care of you and the other children. Would you like to do this? Would you like to go with them?”

Ayana said something to her grandmother, the first words she had spoken. It caused tears to form in the grandmother's eyes. Henok did not interpret what the little girl said, but he did share the grandmother's reply. “Of course I love you still. I will always love you. It is my love and God's love that are sending you to this new place. My love will go with you. But you know I am very old and not well. Soon, God will come for me, to bring me to heaven where he lives. This way, you will never be alone and you will always be loved and taken care of. So will you go?”

There was a long pause. Then Ayana nodded her head yes and reached for her grandmother. They hugged each other tightly until, finally, the grandmother let go. When Ayana turned, she reached for Michele. Michele took her and held her close.

An unusual look came over the grandmother's face. She looked at Michele and Allan, then said something very quietly to Henok. Something she clearly didn't want Ayana to hear. The more she talked, the more concerned Henok looked. When she finished, Henok said something in a fairly serious tone, but just as quietly. It looked to Michele as if he also shook his head no. The grandmother smiled and continued talking to Henok, this time looking back and forth at Allan and Michele. Henok's expression changed, became softer. If Michele guessed right, he was conceding to whatever she said.

He looked at them and said, “I'm sorry. That must have seemed strange. It was a little strange for me. I will talk freely because Ayana doesn't understand English. Ayana's grandmother said something happened as soon as she finished talking to her granddaughter. She felt the Lord clearly show her that some of what she was saying to Ayana was wrong.” Henok sighed. It was clear he didn't want to say what came next. “I did my best to talk her out of this, but it is no good. She is insistent that I tell you.”

“That's okay, Henok,” Allan said. “Tell us, whatever it is.”

“She said . . . well, she said that God hasn't brought you here to bring Ayana to the orphanage. He has, but only for a time. He has really brought you here to bring Ayana home with you to America, to raise her there as your own.”

Michele was stunned. She couldn't believe what she'd just heard.

“I'm so sorry,” Henok said. “I tried to explain to her that—”

“I wish we could,” Allan said, glancing at Michele, “but that really is impossible. That's not really why we—”

“Why is it impossible?” Michele blurted out.

“What?” Allan said. “Hon, do you hear what he's saying? Do you understand what Henok is—”

“I understand perfectly. And I understand what Ayana's grandmother said. I don't think it's impossible. I think it's maybe the reason why we came. The reason why I'm here, with you.” She started to cry. “So that I could be here and see . . . all this. And see her.” She looked down at Ayana. “See this beautiful little girl and be able to hear what I believe God wanted me to hear a little while ago.”

Allan walked over and put both arms on her shoulders. “What are you saying? What do you believe you heard God say?”

Michele swallowed hard. She had to get the words out, just the way she'd heard them. “Do you remember when we began walking up the hill, and I almost stumbled?” He nodded. “I had just heard, well, I believe I just heard the Lord say,
This is the child
I have for you
.”

Allan's eyes instantly filled with tears. “I can't believe it.”

“So, you're okay with this?” she said.

“I'm more than okay. I've thought about adopting Ayana a hundred times since the moment I first saw her. But I never once allowed myself to think the thought came from God. It seemed like a completely closed door.”

“It's open now,” she said.

Allan hugged her, careful not to squeeze little Ayana in between them.

Henok turned to the grandmother, a shocked look on his face. “They are saying yes.”

T
hey were back at the orphanage now. Surprisingly, the good-bye scene with Ayana's grandmother was not a tearful one. Michele saw tears starting to form in the grandmother's eyes, but she blinked them away. She'd told Henok they were happy tears, that she was sincerely happy for this great blessing from God. But she couldn't even allow happy tears for Ayana's sake, because the little girl wouldn't know the difference.

It appeared to have worked, because Ayana seemed very content now. Michele had already cleaned her cut and dressed it with disinfectant and a Band-Aid. She was walking through the orphanage with a clipboard and pen—Ayana right behind her—making a list of things to buy with Allan once he arrived back from an important meeting. She couldn't wait to hear how it went, although the longer he was gone, the more nervous she felt.

He and Henok were meeting with some of the same government officials to discuss the possibility of adopting Ayana. Allan had already told her there was absolutely no chance of bringing her home with them this coming Saturday. Henok had agreed. There were too many details and legal formali
ties to work out. Not to mention agreeing on the costs. And that was just on this side of the Atlantic. She and Allan had never seriously considered adoption until today and didn't know what was required in the US, let alone the additional factors to consider for an international adoption.

But she considered all these just wrinkles to be ironed out. None of them diminished her happiness. The way God had brought this whole thing about had produced faith in her heart, and it was clear in Allan's too that God would finish this good work he had begun. She did find herself taking an even greater level of interest in decorating and outfitting this place before they left, seeing that it was now the temporary home for their daughter.

Their daughter.

She stopped, turned around, and bent down to face Ayana. The little girl looked up at Michele with those big brown eyes. Michele picked her up and, with a big smile on her face, said, “I can tell you one thing, little Miss Ayana, we're going to have to get Henok to start teaching you some English. And maybe teach us a few phrases in Amharic. If that's how you even pronounce it.” She gently touched the tip of Ayana's nose with her index finger.

The playful gesture startled the little girl. But she quickly smiled back.

They were standing at the doorway to her bedroom. You wouldn't know it just by looking at it, because there was no distinction between the two bedrooms. But Henok had explained this bedroom was for three little girls and the one next to it for three little boys. “We're going to fix that, aren't we, Ayana? After we're done shopping today, no one will have to wonder which bedroom belongs to the little girls and which belongs to the little boys.”

She set Ayana down on the floor. “Which bed would you like?” She knew Ayana didn't really understand what she was saying, so she made some gestures hoping the child would still get her meaning. Ayana stepped into the room and looked around. Even without decorations and frills, it was so much more luxurious than the dark hut she had known every day of her young life. Michele nodded, encouraging her that it was okay. Ayana walked to the bed in the middle along the back wall. First she swiped her hand across the blanket, then she patted it. She had probably never felt anything so soft.

“Would you like it? Would you like that one? You can have it. That can be your bed, if you want.” She wasn't sure Ayana understood. She walked over, lifted her up, and set her in the middle of the bed. Ayana smiled as she sank into the mattress, just a little. Michele patted the mattress with both hands. “It's yours, Ayana. This is your bed now.” She sat beside her, put her arm around her.

She thought about their upstairs back in River Oaks. She and Allan hadn't even talked about which bedroom would become Ayana's. Both were more than twice the size of this room. What would Ayana think when she finally came home with them and walked into her room for the first time?

She pulled Ayana close. “I have so many things to do now, because of you. Do you know that?”

Just then, a car pulled up in the driveway. Ayana heard it too. They got up and walked into the hall. Michele saw the car through a side window. Allan and Henok were back. She stood by the back door, waiting to see Allan's face as he walked in. Ayana stood next to her, reached for her hand.

The door opened. Henok came through. He was smiling. Then Allan walked in, and his smile was even bigger.

Michele's heart was exploding. “So it went well?”

“Better than well,” Allan said. “Henok was simply amazing.” He patted Henok on the back.

“God was good,” Henok said. “He opened their hearts to hear what we were asking.”

“So tell me what happened.”

Allan walked toward the living area. “Let's sit down a minute.” Ayana stood next to him. He picked her up, sat her beside him, and put his arm around her. “I can't believe how well it went. So much better than I was expecting.”

“So they were open to the idea of us adopting Ayana?”

“At first they weren't. I could see they were becoming a little tense as Henok explained things. I guess they thought we were rushing things. But the longer he talked, the calmer they got. He didn't stop to interpret as he was speaking, so I had to just read their faces.”

“I'm sorry about that,” Henok said. “I thought that perhaps—”

“No need to apologize. Obviously, God was leading you. You accomplished so much more than I was even hoping for. Actually, why don't you tell Michele what you said? I might leave something out.”

Henok sat on the edge of his chair. “They knew we were interested in seeing children adopted by American families. They just weren't expecting anything so soon. But I remembered one of their disappointments in our earlier meeting was that we were only taking six children into the orphanage at first, when there are so many who need our help. But I assured them we intended the number to grow as soon as we were able. But six was how many we could take at the moment. Once I remembered this concern, I pointed out one way to increase the number of children we rescue from Korah now is to streamline the path for adoption. Every child adopted
from this original six opens a bed for another child to come into the orphanage.”

“It was brilliant,” Allan said. “But there's more. Wait till you hear what else.”

“On the way there,” Henok continued, “I asked Allan if you had been thinking of adoption already and were saving money for it back home. He said you had not, that you had used most of your savings to bring you here on this trip. Once the officials had agreed to streamline the adoption process, I suggested a rather . . . unorthodox idea. I pointed out how beneficial it would be if we could have one adoption happen as soon as possible, so that this child could serve as something of an ambassador back in the US, which would help encourage other couples to want to adopt these children, as well. Which, of course, would free up more beds in the orphanage, allowing more children to be rescued from Korah.”

“You're not going to believe this next part,” Allan said.

“When it seemed they liked this idea, I mentioned that you and Allan were interested in adopting a little girl, even now, as soon as it became legally possible. But that you lacked most of the funds. One of the men on the council spoke up before I could suggest it. He said after all Allan had done to start this orphanage, they should waive the normal fees and expedite this adoption. The other men agreed.”

“So . . . what are you saying?” Michele asked.

“He's saying it's not going to cost us tens of thousands of dollars to adopt Ayana. They're waiving most of the fees. We'll have some legal expenses here and in the US, but nothing like the twenty-five-thousand figure people usually have to pay.”

Michele couldn't believe it. She hadn't even allowed herself to consider the money side of all this. It was just too much
to think about right now. But before she'd even been tempted to worry, God had tossed the mountain into the sea. “This is just so wonderful.”

“Isn't it?” Allan said, giving Ayana a squeeze that made her smile. “I'm just . . . so incredibly happy right now.” He looked at Henok. “It was like God gave you the wisdom of Solomon.”

Henok smiled. “I'm just glad I could help.”

“You did way more than help, my friend.”

“So,” Michele said, “do you have any idea how long it will take before we can actually bring her to the US?”

“I'm not sure,” Henok said. “I'm afraid it still might take quite some time. If I had to guess, I would say . . . maybe six months, maybe more?”

“That long?” Michele said.

“Well, I'm sure it will fly by,” Allan said. “We'll have so many things to do to get ready back home.” He stood and picked up Ayana. “Who's ready to go shopping? Then let's go someplace nice to eat. Henok, you pick it out. Somewhere you and Ayana would really enjoy.”