The Devil Is a Part-Timer!, Vol. 2 (30 page)

“Ahh, don’t be silly. The coffee tastes exactly the same no matter who prepares it.”

Kisaki lightly chided Maou before turning toward the girls.

“How about it?”

“Well, if you’re offering…”

The pair entered the dining area, not wanting to put Kisaki off too much.

“Ms.… Ms. Kisaki!”

But as they did, a crew member dashed out into the room, his face pallid.

“Oh, Maou, you’re back! Oh, uh, but we got another problem right now!”

He was waving his hands all over the place, in a state of near shock. A simple order from Kisaki was enough to bring him back to military discipline.

“Calm down! Nobody on my crew needs to get all panicky like that! Just tell me what happened, and keep it short!”

The ramrod-straight crewman replied to the battle-hardened sergeant’s command.

“Yes, Ms. Kisaki! Someone fell out of the refrigerator!”

“Wha?”

Kisaki, Maou—even Suzuno and Emi—reacted in such unison that it sounded almost like a choir..

“There was this guy in the fridge, and his clothes are all charred and stuff! I think he’s unconscious, but what should we do?”

“Oh, no
way
!”

“Hey! Marko, hang on!”

Brushing Kisaki away, Maou flew into the kitchen.

“Gehh!”

The sight prompted him to shout out loud.

Sariel, the archangel he had just tossed through a Gate to parts unknown, was lying on the floor, halfway outside the industrial refrigerator used to store MgRonald’s ingredients.

Given how there wasn’t much space for Sariel in between the bags of potatoes and chicken parts, he must have “fallen out” just like the crew member described.

“Wh-what the hell?!”

Kisaki and the others were equally shocked when they took in the scene.

Suzuno and Emi in particular, naturally.

“Maou! That
sasa
tree…”

Suzuno turned back toward the entrance.

It couldn’t have been mere coincidence that the Devil King’s Gate connected to someplace like this. The only explanation was that the bamboo tree he’d unwittingly placed right by the front door, now a manifestation of Maou’s demonic power, had somehow resonated with the demonic power Satan used to open the Gate.

The tree had attracted a litany of customers, including some who never should have been customers at all. But uprooting it now wouldn’t make Sariel go away.

“Gnh…nngh…”

But before the chaos could subside, Sariel slowly began to groan and wriggle on the ground, struggling to regain consciousness.

Having him stir up trouble here would cause nothing but despair.

Sariel had merely been knocked out in the battle before. His powers were still very real. His Evil Eye would render Emi and Suzuno
all but powerless, and Maou—the only one who could hurt him, really—had just exhausted his demonic strength.

There was no time to have Suzuno wreck the train system all over again. As Maou’s mind blanked out on him, Sariel’s head rose upward.

“Who…might
you
be?”

It was Kisaki that dared to confront him, the only one in the group Sariel didn’t know. She was preparing to deal with the intruder, no doubt. The Devil King, the Hero, and the Reconciliation Panel chief all began thinking in unison about how they’d ever keep her safe.

“…You’re…beautiful…”

It sounded like the ramblings of an alcoholic, and Sariel’s drugged facial expression looked the part.

“…Pardon?”

It took a moment for Kisaki to parse what he’d said. She smiled awkwardly, not wanting to rile him.

“The goddess of beauty… She existed in another world…”

“…I’m afraid I’m not quite sure what you’re saying.”

Not even Kisaki could hide her bewilderment.

“Sariel, you couldn’t have…”

Maou groaned at the fearsome prediction that crossed his mind. The frenzied scream Sariel erupted into a moment later confirmed it.

“Ahhhh! Such sweet destiny! Such a wondrous miracle! Here, in Japan, I’ve stumbled upon the goddess of beauty! Oh, by all the gods in heaven! My body burns with the flame of forbidden love! I am about to fall from my angelic heights!”

“………………………………”

Maou, Emi and Suzuno froze, unable to figure out how to react.

“Who’s
this
idiot?”

Kisaki, alone, snapped out of her friendly business face, sneering at the pathetic figure before her.

Suddenly, Sariel came to his knees, shouting as he pressed his still-charred body against Kisaki’s legs.

“Ahh, that worshipful face, looking down upon me from such
lofty heights! It makes my heart pulsate like the great bell tower that governs the passage of time in the heavens!”

“Can anyone explain this? Who
is
this weirdo?”

“…Well, he’s kind of the manager at the Sentucky across the street.”

Sariel nodded briskly at Maou’s introduction, pointing wildly out the window.

“My beloved icon of beauty, my name is Sarue. I am manager of the Sentucky Fried Chicken location in front of Hatagaya station. The two of us, from two rivals doomed to compete with each other… Truly, we are the Romeo and Juliet of the fast-food industry!”

“…Freak.”

“No matter how vulgar and abusive the words that spill out of your supple lips be, they ring like the great orchestras of heaven in my ears! I would gladly fling my body into the fire and brimstone of hell if it would make your eyes turn toward mine! What kind of fragrant rose would possibly serve as your equal, my sweet flower of love?”

It was quite a feat of improvisation.

“…Can someone translate this guy into Japanese for me?”

“I, uh, I think he’s saying that he’ll do anything you say, Ms. Kisaki.”

Sariel nodded proudly at Maou’s expert interpretation. Kisaki closed her eyes and sighed.

“…All right. Get over here.”

At that moment, Sariel’s orange-encrusted eyes gleamed like a full moon as he dragged himself before Kisaki’s feet.

“Aaaaahhhh! The height of ecstasy! Oh, may all the gods in heaven forgive me! I remove myself from your flock and fling myself into the pyres of passion!!”

Kisaki’s heel embedded itself into the face of the advancing Sariel. He howled like some otherworldly beast, then fell.

But even with this rebuke, the Evil Eye–wielding archangel’s expression was one of sheer ecstasy, even as it was warped and twisted by the MgRonald manager’s heel pressing into it.

“You think I’m playing around? Franchise management isn’t some
kind of
game
, you know! What is
with
that loony panda makeup? And what’s with the oil drum of cologne you threw over your head?! Is
that
what Sentucky expects from its managers?!”

Kisaki’s heel dug itself further into Sariel’s face. Sariel greedily accepted his punishment.

“Ahh, the lure of the fallen! Such a sweet, fetching scene, one I am no longer able to resist!”

“Shut
up
, you perv!”

Kisaki glared at Maou, eyes open wide, as she kept up her barrage of abuse. Her gaze, sharp enough that even the Evil Eye was reluctant to focus upon it, made not just Maou, but Emi and Suzuno gulp nervously as well.

“Marko…are you telling me we placed second in customer draw to
this
idiot?”

“Uh…well, no, I…um.”

“Huh. Hope you and everyone else won’t complain when I send you all off to Antigua and Barbuda, then.”

“I, I don’t even know where that is, Ms. Kisaki…”

“Well, that was my and your problem to deal with, and we blew it. We’ll both have to volunteer to return our salaries for the day. Ugh. Guess I still have a lot to learn, don’t I? Serves me right for whining about that manager training session.”

In one fell swoop, Kisaki had pieced the situation together in her mind, expressed regret, then made Maou join her in the punishment. The sheer speed made the blood rush from Maou’s head.

“W-wait…you’re joking, right, Ms. Kisaki?!”

“I thought I told you, the only time I tell jokes is when I want people to laugh!”

“I’ll laugh all you want! Please! Just tell me you’re kidding!”

Now it was Maou throwing his body upon Kisaki, not altogether unlike what Sariel attempted.

“Ugh! Enough! You’re a man! Just accept it! A true samurai would rather starve than allow his honor to be tarnished in public!”

“But this is the twenty-first century! I’m just a simple commoner, Ms. Kisaki!”

The twenty-first-century commoner and lord of all demons begged Kisaki for a change of heart he knew was unlikely to come.

Emi and Suzuno, watching the part-timer and location manager’s aimless argument, their sexually overactive archrival prostrate before their feet, exchanged glances at each other.

“…Quite a joke, indeed.”

“
I’m
sure not laughing.”

Yet the Hero of Ente Isla and head of the Church’s Reconciliation Panel both smiled giddily as they looked on.

“Me, being Maou’s friend… Ugh. That isn’t funny at all. Why did I have to call him by his first name, even?”

“S-Suzuno!! What are you doing in here?!”

Chiho shouted out loud upon opening the door to Devil’s Castle and finding Suzuno already inside.

“Ah, welcome, Sasaki! Just the person I needed. I was attempting to make a tea-flavored pound cake with this rice cooker. Would you like to try some?”

“Ooh, thanks, Ashiya! I’d love to! …Wait, no!”

Chiho noisily stormed into Devil’s Castle. Suzuno was facing Maou across the domain’s sole table, pointing a pair of food-laden chopsticks at him.

It looked like the classic
open your mouth and say ahhh
trick, but considering how the chopsticks were attempting to bore their way through Maou’s cheek at the moment, there seemed to be a communication breakdown in progress.

Inserting herself between them, Chiho glared ruefully at Suzuno.

“What are you doing? Could you avoid being in my way, please?”

“No, what are
you
doing?! And why are you just taking that from her, Maou?!”

“Uhh…”

Maou cast his eyes downward, plainly just as sick of this as Chiho.

“Aren’t you two supposed to be enemies, Suzuno?! Where do you
get off, inviting yourself into his place and trying to feed Maou like that? It makes me so…jealous…”

“Chihooooo, you might wanna filter yourself a little…”

“You stay out of this, Urushihara!”

Urushihara meekly closed his mouth. Now Chiho’s eyes were locked with Suzuno’s.

“Yes. It is as you say. I am, at the core, the enemy of the Devil King.”

Suzuno repositioned herself, back straight up, face cool and composed.

“But, while the Devil King may not have intended it at first, he has also performed a great service for me. Thus, I am doing my best to prepare my consecrated ingredients in the most taste-tempting ways possible and pretend to repay his efforts with food while secretly filling the demons’ bellies with damaging holy force…”

“Suzuno, I have no idea what any of that means! Ashiya! Don’t you care about what she’s saying?!”

“I know full well how you feel, Sasaki. Too well, in fact…”

Ashiya’s eyes darted over to Urushihara as he showed Chiho a college-ruled notebook.

“But thanks to Lucifer’s unplanned shopping spree, our budget for next month will be firmly in the red. It is truly a gut-wrenching travesty for me to witness…”

Looking at the last page of the notebook labeled,
DEVIL’S CASTLE ACCOUNTS
on the front, Chiho saw a line reading
Card payment: 40,000 yen; User: Dumbassihara
.

“Forty thousand…? What on earth did you buy, Dumbassihara?”

“Quit calling me that, man! I know Ashiya’s pissed off ’n all, but if I
didn’t
buy it, you might’ve been in Ente Isla with Sariel right now! You could try thanking me a little, for a change!”

“…But it was Maou’s money, right?”

Ashiya approached Chiho, whispering in her ear, “And what’s more, the money was for a hidden GPS transmitter he slipped into Emilia’s shoulder bag.”

“…That is
so
creepy.”

Her reaction was one of utter disgust.

“You guys are
so
unfair! This is BS!”

Urushihara resentfully tried to defend himself, showing no sign of regret.

“…But, regardless, we are now firmly in negative territory…so we’ve been forced to grudgingly accept Crestia’s attempt upon our lives via her dietary support…”

“You don’t have to wreck your health just to save some money! Please!”

Chiho rapped the notebook in her hand against the table.

“But we do! Now that we are unable to return home, bringing ourselves back into the black is my utmost priority!”

In the end, the customer numbers for the week that Maou served as shift supervisor lost out to Sariel’s Sentucky Fried Chicken location…but only by the slimmest of margins.

Perhaps Kisaki had awoken something within Sariel. For reasons only he could understand, he officially became a full-fledged employee of SFC the following day, serving as the Hatagaya location’s permanent manager.

Maou was wary at first, fearing he would go back to his nefarious, disturbing, womanizing ways, but Sariel—aka Mitsuki Sarue—had become an honest, hardworking fast-food employee. Apart from the bouquet of roses he sent Kisaki on a daily basis, he was just another manager striving to boost sales at his franchise, a far cry from when Maou first met him. In fact, one of the message cards included with the bouquet read: