Read The Devil's Bag Man Online
Authors: Adam Mansbach
Here it came.
The Unburdening.
“You're already helping me. With Sherry. The rest of this shit, I gotta figure out myself.” He raised up, brushed his palms against his shorts. “I should grab myself a shower.”
Don't quit your day job, Nichols
.
Galvan extended a hand.
“I'll see you soon.”
“There's something else.”
Galvan crossed his arms, and Nichols noticed that the cut had stopped bleeding.
“Kurt Knowles got picked up a few days ago in Ardmore, Oklahoma.”
“Who's he again?”
“The biker? President of the True Natives? If I'm not mistaken, he and his gang held you down while that corrupt Mexican Federale took a machete to your arm.”
“Oh yeah. Him.”
Galvan twisted at the waist, peered into the trailer. For a second, Nichols half expected him to pretend he'd heard his mother calling him home for dinner.
“I just got word today,” Nichols went on. “But I'm gonna do everything I can to make sure they throw his ass underneath the fuckin' jail until the end of time. I don't know what he's been charged with so far, but with my testimony plus yoursâ”
Galvan shook his head. “Forget it. I'm keeping my head down. Supposed to be in a Mexican prison right now, in case you forgot.”
It was Nichols's turn to shake his head. “Nah, I looked into it. Your record's clean. Nobody ever filed anything with Texas. Hell, you could probably apply for food stamps if you wanted to.”
Galvan's voice darkened. “I'm off the grid, Nichols.” And then, for no apparent reason, his whole face squeezed tightâcontorted into a mask of agony or anticipated agony, like a little kid bracing for a flu shot.
“You okay there, Jess?”
Galvan exhaledâa short sharp breath, like he was fighting it off. Gradually, his face relaxed.
“Been getting these migraines,” he muttered.
“You oughta see a doctor. I'm sure Ruth canâ”
Galvan spun toward him, all the pain replaced with rage, and a bolt of fear shot through Nichols, adrenaline overruling intellect, fight-or-flight synapses decussating wildly.
As if this weren't a disagreement with a friend, but a wild animal about to pounce.
It was all he could do to stand his ground.
“No fucking doctors!” Galvan roared, jabbing a finger in his chest. “No courtrooms, no shrinksâand if I gave a shit about that Knowles cocksucker, I'd have killed him already. You got it?”
“Sure, Jess. Sure.”
Galvan seemed to deflate then, to pull back into himself.
“Sorry,” he mumbled, eventually.
“Yeah,” Nichols replied. “I'll see you later.”
He dropped his half-empty beer, watched it topple sideways. A weak stream of amber pisswater leaked out, and the parched earth swallowed it greedily.
He strolled back to the cruiser, threw his arm out the window, revved the engine. Jess was still watching him. Perhaps it was a trick of the light, or perhaps the helplessness, the misery on his face was real.
“Maybe you're right,” Nichols heard himself say. “Maybe it is best if you keep away from Sherry for the time being.”
Galvan's head dropped to his chest. Nichols couldn't be sure if it was a response or not. For all he knew, Galvan's mind was drifting again, and he hadn't even heard.
Nichols wedged the flask between his thighs and drove into the night.
G
alvan picked himself up, staggered into the trailer, and collapsed onto the bed. The strain of interacting with Nichols had sapped his mental resources utterly, and when he was weak, he was vulnerable.
He was always vulnerable.
The monster knew him so well now.
But no better than he knew it.
Theirs was an intimacy that defied description. An abomination beyond words.
Galvan knew how he must look to others. To Nichols, or Sherry. To Cantwell especially, with her psych degree and diagnostic skills.
Like a textbook psychotic dissociative caseâthat was how. Flat affect, prone to fits of rage and spells of isolation. Just another lost soul, unable to tune out the voices in his head.
Except for one thing.
You don't understand, DoctorâI'm different!
The voice in Galvan's head was real.
The one telling him to kill, insisting that the subjugation of inferior
men was his birthright and destiny. The one forever probing and testing, attacking and seducing, cajoling and terrorizing. Relentlessly widening the corridor of its influence by scraping away at the bedrock of Galvan's humanity. And always seeking the same thing.
Control.
Two souls, one body.
The math was a bitch.
It was a battle Galvan suspected he could not win. He was a man, and Cucuy was something elseâa debased god, a self-made demon, a being whose very existence had so violated the natural order that perhaps no word existed to describe him. He would have obliterated Aaron Seth had Seth eaten that heartâthe cult leader had been bred for just that purpose. And Galvan had expected to be destroyed himselfâto consume the vessel and have his soul and body torn asunder, find himself banished to the purgatorial realm of the Dominio Gris.
But life was chock-full of fuckin' surprises. A thin genetic filament connected Cucuy to Galvan, and so here they were instead.
Roommates.
Galvan felt himself go drowsy and scrabbled to his feet. He didn't need to pass out yet, would not give in to the urge. Cucuy was winning the war for his subconscious, and so Galvan parried by learning to steer clear of that dark neighborhood, get by on two or three hours of sleep as many times a week.
That was the irony of this infestation, this tumor, this virus: even as it sought to subsume him, to take over his body and eradicate his mind, it imbued him with certain gifts that he could use to fight back.
Strength and speed. Endurance and reflexes. Pain barely registered; wounds mended quickly. It was a loophole of sorts: Cucuy could not insinuate himself into the folds of Galvan's soul without giving off his powers. And if Galvan could maintain the precarious limbo state in which he dwelled, using those powers to stave off their master . . .
Well, then maybe he could buy himself a few more hunted, hellish months. Stumble on to a plan, or somebody who had one.
Or a land mine.
He stepped back into the cool night air and felt his senses flicker and flare, like a fire finding oxygen. When they were fully engagedâwhen
he was running, hunting, sweating, fightingâCucuy receded, drew back his tentacles and waited.
Yet another ironyâGalvan's fucking life brimming with themârespite in violence.
Not a good thing for the mountain lions of Texas.
He unbuttoned his shirt, sloughed it to the ground, and walked around the trailer. He had a fire pit in the backâan excuse to chop wood, really.
Ax, block, tree chunk.
Lift, swing,
thunk
, stoop, toss. Repeat.
A few hours of this would do him good. Then, a nice long run into town. By the time he got there, the bars would be closing, which meant drunken shitheads looking for the same thing he was.
Trouble.
Ax, block, tree chunk.
You only postpone the inevitable
, Cucuy said.
Thought.
Transmitted.
Whatever the fuck he did.
“Fuck you,” Galvan replied. He'd taken to that recently, speaking to the monster aloud as a way of refusing to acknowledge and thus strengthen their oneness, their inextricability.
It was probably useless.
It didn't make Galvan look any saner, either.
The blood of holy men runs through your veins, my son
.
Weakly, it is true
.
You are a mongrel. A bastard's bastard's bastard
.
You would have been put to death in the days when I was a man
.
But today, in this diminished world, where the spark of greatness flickers so dimly, you could be a king
.
A god
.
If you only knew the power I could give you, you would end this foolish resistance and join with me
.
Before you are destroyed
.
“Yeah, well, if you're so fuckin' powerful, how come I'm still standing here?”
Lift. Swing.
Thunk
.
Only becauseâ
“Besides, I don't want your kind of power. Murdering innocent girls ain't very godlike in my book.”
Galvan could feel Cucuy's sneer curling up within him, like the edges of a burning piece of paper; it was a physical sensation, everywhere and nowhere at once, and he braced for the jab it heralded.
Your understanding is as pathetic as your precious morality
.
There is nothing more godly than sacrifice
.
Man's purpose, his entire reason for being, is to die for his god
.
You people have perverted that, with your childish fables, your martyr godsâhidden from it any way you could think to, because your ego is a plague that has swept across the world
.
But you cannot hide forever
.
What has always been shall always be
.
“Then I guess you'll always be a fuckbag,” Galvan grunted.
Lift, swing,
thunk
.
Not his wittiest comebackâdownright idiotic, actually, but he didn't feel like debating theology with the monster just now. He was too ragged around the edges; he might let something slip, give Cucuy new ammunition to use against him or reveal some element of his own embryonic strategy.
An image flashed through Galvan's mind.
The woman in yellow, beckoning in secret from his dreams.
Cucuy didn't know about that. Had never mentioned her. Some firewall in Galvan's mind separated them, and if there was freedom to be had, she was involved. Somehow. She had to be. Her will was set against Cucuy's. That much, Galvan knew.
The enemy of my enemy is my friend. . . .
Ax, block, tree chunk.
Lift, swing,
thunk
.
The bloodlust is in you, Jess Galvan
.
I can feel it
.
How long can you sate yourself on animals? On meaningless skirmishes with weak men?
“I got a better question, dickwad. How come you always refer to me by my full name? Seems a little formal, considering that you're squatting in my fuckin' body, don't you think?”
Galvan shouldered the ax and allowed himself a smile. It was Cucuy who had revealed something: he had not divined the reason for all Galvan's exertionâwas too firmly locked in the prison of his own mind to realize that it was not bloodlust that drove Galvan at all. He thought the appetite for violence signaled the erosion of resistance, when really it was resistance itself.
Good.
All violence was not the sameâGalvan had always known that. The distinctions might not have meant anything to the monster, or even to the law, but they comprised Galvan's personal code, and he'd lived by it long before Cucuy had yanked him from the hell of Ojos Negros, dropped him into a deeper and darker one, handed him a beating heart, and dubbed him a Righteous Messenger.
The devil's bag man was more like it.
That code of honor had kept him alive in the desert, afforded him safe passage through a minefield of undead virgin girlsâand when he'd forsaken it in a moment of fury and levied punishment on a pair of child-trafficking scumbags, safety had returned the favor.
But Galvan was a Righteous Messenger still. He'd carried evil then, and he carried it nowâcradled it deep inside, and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about that. Hell, maybe everybody did, and this was just a starker, higher-stakes dramatization of the universal human condition.
More likely, that was a load of poetic horseshit.
But the fact remainedâmaybe
fact
was a little strong; Galvan's
impression
wasâthat evil multiplied evil. When he did something bad, departed from the code, Cucuy gained a toehold in the cold war they were waging. A little more of Galvan's soul dissipated, the cigarette burning down toward the filter.
Smoke 'em if you got 'em.
What exactly “bad” meantâand this was a mindfuck, the kind of circular, pound-your-head-against-the-wall shit that a guy like Galvan, who'd built himself a life of flesh and blood, brick and mortar, actions and consequences, absolutely couldn't standâwell, that seemed to be somewhat subjective.
No, not subjective. It was ironclad, a clear line in the sand. Step over it and pay the price.
The word he was looking for was
internal
. Or
self-generated
. It was Galvan himself who'd made these rules, erected this moral framework, and it was Galvan who suffered the consequences. When he did shit he knew was wrongâand especially when he drew on the glowing, clenched nexus of power that Cucuy's presence afforded him in order to
do wrongâthe monster surged and swelled and Galvan could feel himself getting sucked away, as if his soul were a puddle of water somebody had sicced a vacuum cleaner on.
His soul
. Most of the timeâand Galvan did spend most of his time contemplating his soul, its strength and shape and qualitiesâhe pictured it as a color-saturated version of that Ojos Negros labyrinth, a subterranean warren of corridors and rooms the deep red of a human heart.
Cucuy might be hiding in any one of them.
Galvan's job was to cordon them off, brick them up, trap the monster inside.
He was getting good at it.
But the monster always escaped.
And there was always another room.
The soul being fuckin' infinite and all.
Cucuy had fallen quiet, Galvan realized. It happened. Sometimes his mind cleared and quietedâas if the monster had other business to attend to, hung up a
BACK IN FIVE MINUTES
sign, and disappeared. The lacuna was welcome but eerie, a respite Galvan could never enjoy, the other shoe always about to drop, the fear that Cucuy was off improving his position dominating what should have been an out-breath of peace.
Galvan tossed the ax aside, sat heavily on the chopping stump, and replayed the encounter with Nichols in his mind, now that he had the bandwidth to analyze it.
The impotence he felt at knowing Sherry was in free fall and he couldn't do shit to help her was staggering. For years, the desire to protect her was all that kept him alive. To be this close and yet this far awayâto know that the greatest threat to her safety was himâthat knowledge threatened to break him faster than the monster.
Galvan wiped the cooled sweat from his brow and stood. He bent double, picked up the ax, and ran his thumb across the edge of the blade, swiping off the pungent sap with which his frenetic activity had left it coated. The blood of trees.
He was a fighter. He wasn't done yet.
Not by a damn sight.
There was still too much he loved in this world.