The Devil's Lover: The Wish (18 page)

“
He’s beautiful, Kali,” he
whispered into her ear. “Thank you.”

†††††

Kali awoke in a hospital room. She
looked down at herself, wondering if she was still alive. The
sunlight peeped through the curtains to shine on her face. It felt
warm against her skin. She pinched herself on her arm just to make
sure.

“
He really loves you, you
know,” Adria said, taking a loud bite of her apple. “I take back
what I said before.”

Kali gasped, her hands flying to her
flat belly.

“
My baby! Where is it?”
she demanded.

“
He’s safe,” Adria assured
her. “He is half-demon after all.”

Kali calmed down a bit. "It's a
boy?"

“
He takes after his
father.”
Kali’s delighted expression suddenly dropped. “It was his plan all
along.”

Adria burst out with laughter. “You
foiled his plans right from the start. You shouldn’t have been so
vulnerable to Soren’s advocate. Whatever Lucifer did, he did out of
blind jealousy.”

“
Where is my baby now?”
Kali changed the subject. 

"He was in the hospital's care during
the months you were asleep.”

“
Months?” Kali blinked.
“How could I have slept for months?”

“
You did take demon's
blood into your body,” Adria reminded Kali.

Kali remembered Lucifer feeding her
his blood.

“
And?” she asked when she
could not interpret Adria’s tone.

“
Those who drink a Demon’s
blood will gain eternal youth and be forever bound to that demon.
Well, that’s not really the bad part,” Adria laughed, obviously
amused.

“
That’s enough,” Lucifer
said to Adria as he walked through the door. “Be gone.”

“
You are being rude to the
woman who saved the life of your firstborn, my Lord,” Adria said.
Then she laughed again and faded into the shadows.

“
I want to see him,” Kali
said. She was no longer concerned about herself. “I really want to
see him.”

Lucifer nodded. Helping her off the
bed, he led her out to the hallway. They stopped in front of a
large glass window that opened into the nursery.

“
Which one do you think he
is?” Lucifer asked, wondering if she could recognize her own
child.

Kali scanned the tiny beds. Her heart
fluttered when she saw a small sleeping boy on the far
left.

“
Him,” she pointed to the
boy with platinum hair. “My heart tells me that he's mine. I’m
actually really glad his father’s a demon. If he wasn’t a
half-demon, he wouldn’t have survived being born three months
premature.”

“
So now you're willing to
admit that his father is a demon?"

She lowered her eyes so her thick
lashes would screen her tears. "You're not taking him away from me,
are you?"

He gently guided her to face his. "No
one will be able to take him away from you, Kali. I will not allow
it. He is the one thing that truly belongs to you.”

Her tears trailed down his hands and
trickled to the ground. She felt affection from him for the first
time. She had been so afraid that he would punish her by taking her
baby away, but now that he had reassured her, she felt an enormous
weight lifted from her shoulders.

"I should punish you for lying and
pretending my child was another's," Lucifer said in a very soft
voice.

"Neither of us left her much of
choice," Chevalier said as he approached them. Kali let out another
sigh of relief to find him alive and well.

"If you hadn't murdered me, this would
never have happened. Before you get angry with him, Kali, he didn't
do it to deceive you. He did it out of pure jealousy. I can't say I
forgive him, but as a man, I understand it.”

Kali looked to Lucifer for
confirmation and found an uncomfortable expression on his face.
When their eyes met, he diverted his gaze. 

“
You left her a mess, and
pregnant. Who else can this crybaby turn to?"

“
Chevalier, I’m sorry,”
Kali looked at him through tears. "I'm so sorry I lied to you. I’m
so sorry I kept it a secret when the memories came back, we were so
happy and-”

“
There you go again,” he
smiled. “You’re already somebody's mother and you’re still acting
like this. I think I’m going to take a long vacation,
Kali.”

“
Where are you going?”
Kali asked. Something told her he didn’t intend to come back.
“Chevalier!”

“
I don’t know. Anywhere, I
guess,” he turned away and sighed. “I really need a long
vacation.”

“
When are you coming
back?” Kali asked with a breaking voice.

“
Not any time
soon.”

“
Can’t you wait?” she
grabbed the back of his shirt. "I really need you here.”

“
Won’t you let me go,
Kali?” he said, “Now that you have another person who loves you as
much as I do, won’t you let me go?”

“
Are you angry that I lied
to you, Chevalier? I promise I’ll never lie to you again. Please
Chevalier, I've learned my lesson.”

"I'm not angry with you,
Kali.”

She shook her head, silently
protesting.

Chevalier closed his eyes. "Don’t hold
on to me. If you hold on to me, I won’t be able to let go of
you.”

He slowly pulled her fingers from his
shirt. "It's about time you stand on your own two feet, Kali. If
you keep depending on me, I'll...I'll..,” his voice began to
tremble.

He didn't want to turn around because
he didn't want her to see how pathetic he looked.

Kali covered her mouth with her
hands.

"Don’t go,” she managed to say.
"Chevalier, don’t go. Please?"

"Live a happy life, Kali. Live so
happy that it'll make me think that I've made the right…” he took
in a deep breath to keep control of his voice. "...decision. I did
make the right decision.”

He clenched his fists and turned to
walk rapidly down the hall. After a few steps, he broke into a run.
He didn't know where he was running, but he knew he was running
away from her. He couldn’t breathe. All he wanted to do was run
until he collapsed.

Forgetting about her will be easy, he
tried to comfort himself. Just live and let time carries him. Time
would fade her image from his heart; the image of the little girl
that had been stamped on his heart so long ago.

Goodbye, Kali.

Kali slide down the wall to the floor.
He was really leaving her this time. He wouldn’t be coming back, no
matter how much she screamed or cried. He wouldn’t be coming back.
He was really leaving.

"Chevalier,” she sobbed. Her fists
clenched the hospital gown over her heart. "Chevalier... how could
you leave me?"

Her cry seemed to echo through the
endless hallways of the hospital.

Chapter 18: The Letter
with No Stamp

Dear Kali,

There is so much I want to say but I’m
afraid that it won’t all fit into this letter. I guess first off, I
want to congratulate you on the birth of your baby. He’s beautiful.
I saw through the nursery window and all I wanted to do was hold
him in my arms, but the nurse wouldn't allow me because I'm not the
father. I was ticked off because even though the time I spent as
his father was brief, during that time I really made myself
believes he was my child. He will always be in my heart. I regret
that I wasn't able to hold him just once. I do wish, though, that
he didn’t look so much like Lucifer. I was hoping he would look
like his beautiful mother.

I love you, Kali. I always have. If
you can’t remember when we met, it was because I was there the day
you were born. That day, I was at the hospital because my mother
had just died of a heart attack. I felted so desperate and alone. I
thought I was the most pitiful thing in the world, because now that
my mother had died, no one in the world would care for me. While I
was hiding in a broom closet, I overheard a conversation between
your grandmother and the nurse. I could not believe the words that
were coming out of her mouth. She didn’t want you. She wanted the
nurse to discard of you because she believed you were a bad omen
that had killed both your parents. I thought to myself, that baby
is way more pitiful than me. She’s lost her parents before she even
knew them. She will never know the warmth of her mother or the love
of her father. She’s even more unwanted than me. I have some
memories of my mother, at least.

That night I snatched you from the
hospital and I wanted to run away. I didn’t want to return to the
hellhole of my own house, but where would a seven-years-old-boy and
an infant go? I held you in my arms and walked for miles until I
was sure we were far enough from those terrible people. You cried
half of the way. When I reached for your face, you would suck my
thumb trying to find milk, and then you’d go on crying. I snuck
onto a farm that night and fed you milk from a goat. I was
exhausted and we both fell asleep in the stable. That was how we
spent your first day in the world.

So the next day, a seven year old boy,
an infant girl, and a goat were traveling on the side of the road.
I should have mentioned I stole the goat. I walked many miles that
day. I rested when I got tired, fed you when you were hungry, and
just kept on walking. I just wanted to get away. No matter how far
I walked, my father was still able to catch up to me. I was kicking
and screaming while he shoved me into his truck. He was going to
leave you behind on the side of the road. Before he could start the
truck, I jumped out of the window and grabbed you. Unless he wanted
to try sawing my arms off, I wasn’t going to let go. He had no
choice but to bring you back, too. I returned home and continued to
be his slave. He would come home drunk each day. Every time he beat
me, I was afraid he would turn on you. I knew I didn’t want you to
stay in my hell.

Two months after I took you, I saw
your grandmother on the street. I followed her and found out her
address. I ran home as fast as I could and took you there. I kept
knocking on the door, but when she finally opened it, she saw me
and a baby. She shut the door in my face. I knew she didn’t want
you, but she was your grandmother! If I could get her to accept
you, you would have a home again. For a seven year old kid, I was
pretty damn persistent. I didn’t budge from her porch for three
days and three nights, holding you in my arms. You cried constantly
because you were hungry. I thought that if I left that spot, all my
efforts would go to waste. That old woman’s heart would harden
again. I needed her pity.

At that point, I just wanted to get
you through that door. I didn’t care what it took. I bit my fingers
and fed you every meal. I was going to make your grandmother to
take you if it killed me. I was very close to dying when she
finally opened the door. I made sure she took you out of my arms
before I allowed myself to pass out. I told myself that if anyone
deserved to be happy, it was you. I wanted to make up for all of
your losses. I wanted to substitute for the mother and father you
never had. I wanted to give you all of their love so that you could
grow up with a healthy heart and love everything around you. I
didn’t want you to feel unwanted and alone like me.

I can’t say I raised you, but I was
there every step of the way. I watched you grow into a wonderful
girl. But a scary thing happened as you grew older. My paternal
love for you turned into a different kind of love, one that I could
not control. I was frustrated with my growing attraction toward
you, even though you looked at me through the eyes of a sister or a
daughter. I felt guilty and sick and didn’t know how to act around
you. The seven year gap between us may not be much, but it makes
the difference between who can fall in love and who can’t. For two
years, I kept a distance from you. I visited you less and less
frequently.

You were fourteen when your
grandmother passed away. They were going to send you to an
orphanage, but I couldn’t let that happen. I never wanted you to
feel like an orphan. I was twenty-one at the time and had the means
to support you, but I was so afraid of being close to you. I was
afraid that you would find out my feelings and be disgusted with
me. I didn’t want you to be afraid of me. And so I began to wander
into the beds of different women, but my head were filled with
nothing but you. I wanted to wait until you were ready to
understand my feelings. I wanted to wait until you can reciprocate,
but things don’t always work as planned, do they?

I wanted to be with you so much it
hurt. I did what I did because I was selfish. I wanted to have you.
I wanted to have a family with you so badly that it blinded my
conscience. I knew you had recovered your memories, but I just
couldn’t let you go. I couldn’t just let him take you away from me.
I wanted to shelter you from everything, as long as I live. I
didn’t want anything to hurt you, be it fate or Lucifer.

It took every ounce of strength in my
body to leave you. I believe that was the first time I ever really
said no to you. I hope you won’t hate me for it, but don’t forgive
me either. I wanted to feel a little guilty for a while. I stop by
your place now and then to check on you, but I don’t have the
courage to face you. For all you know, I might lose control of
myself and hold you in my arms. If you're in my arms, Lucifer's
going to have a hell of a time keeping me away. I want you to be
happy, Kali. That’s all I have ever wanted, so smile each day for
me.