The Diaries of Sofia Tolstoy (73 page)

 

26th
. I drew pictures and played Mischief with Tanechka. A large number of policemen burst in during the night and arrested Bulgakov for his leaflet against the war.* I was extremely angry and wrote to Dzhunkovsky, Governor of Moscow.*

 

28th
. A sad date—it was four years ago today that Lev Nikolaevich left home.

 

3rd November
. I received a disagreeable telegram from Dzhunkovsky.* These gentlemen make me nervous—they find you guilty when you've done nothing wrong.

 

7th
. The anniversary of Lev Nikolaevich's death. This morning, six members of the Tolstoy Museum came—what pathetic representatives of the Tolstoy Society they were! I was delighted by the arrival of my son Seryozha. Later on all the Yasnaya peasants came and we went to the grave with them and recited ‘Our Father' and ‘Eternal Memory'. I went with Tanechka; Tanya came too, and my daughter-in-law Sonya with her son Kiryusha, and Seryozha, and it was so good. But the weather and the roads are terrible. It's 2 degrees and there was a fall of wet snow. This evening Sonya sang and Seryozha played the piano.

 

9th
. Once again I spent the day revising
Letters to His Wife
for the second edition, and am reading
Chopin and George Sand
.

 

13th
. I went to Tula with Nina and visited Bulgakov at the police station. He is being very brave but has lost a lot of weight and evidently has no idea what to expect. This evening Tanya read us some verses by Fet.

 

25th
. I had an argument with Tanya about the Church. She repeats her father's words and denounces the Church, forgetting that for more than two decades he was a passionate churchgoer. This evening Andryusha came. He always cheers us up.

 

27th
. Left for Moscow this morning. The train was packed. Austrian prisoners of war at Tula.

 

28th (Moscow)
. All morning in the banks. Paid the Stupin warehouse until May 1915. Dined and spent the evening with Seryozha. The roads were mud, travelled by cab.

 

2nd December
. Saw Sasha in Moscow. On the 10th she is leaving with her detachment as a nurse.

 

4th
. Returned to Yasnaya Polyana. It's most unpleasant, the gendarmes are drawing up a statement against Seryozha for saying the captain was wasting his time in the police force.*

 

11th
. Went to Tula with my daughter Tanya and made the Kuzminskys' wing hers for life. Received my pension. Saw Bulgakov at the police station.

 

12th
. Life passes quietly. The war and Bulgakov's foolishness are a great weight on my heart. Makovitsky, who signed his appeal, has also been summoned to Tula by the police.*

 

19th
. I keep myself busy, but cannot apply myself to anything while this war is on. Dreadful sadness in my soul. Of my children I know nothing, and it breaks my heart to see my daughter Tanya looking so ill.

 

20th
. Lyova came for dinner. A lot of talk. It's all war, war, war.

 

31st
. Decorated the Christmas tree as usual. Seryozha came to dinner, and Tanya, Lyova, Andryusha, little Tanya, Antonina Tikhonovna, Dushan and I all saw in the New Year enjoyably together. My nerves are shattered. I want to weep all the time. I'm sad to have no news about Seryozha who promised to come, and I worry about Andryusha, who is ill.

Russia driven out of Serbia. At the front, whole regiments are surrendering and there is open talk of revolution. Russian defeat seems beyond question. At home the economic situation deteriorates, with soaring living costs, declining wages, rampant speculation and administrative chaos. Strikes and demonstrations and women's “food riots” sweep the country. September—Germans advance to gates of Riga, and civilians are ordered to evacuate war zones, and their homes and crops set on fire. Two and a half million registered refugees. Tsar Nicholas assumes supreme command of army
.

Summer—Sasha Tolstaya returns briefly to Yasnaya Polyana to recuperate from malaria. 6th June—Taneev dies; Sofia doesn't attend his funeral
.

 

19th January
. We're all terribly upset—Dushan has been arrested and imprisoned for signing Bulgakov's appeal.

 

22nd (Moscow)
. Went to the State and Merchant banks, then on to the Rumyantsev Museum, where I had a long talk with the keeper of manuscripts, Georgievsky. They are giving me a good room for the manuscripts, but there is a dreadfully steep cast-iron spiral staircase up to it.

 

23rd
. I went to two exhibitions with Nina, the Union and the Wanderers'. Exhibitions are so bad nowadays, not at all what they used to be, there's such a lot of decadent daubing. I saw Chertkov's son Dima in the vegetarian canteen where we were dining.

 

5th February
. I corrected three proof pages of
L.N. Tolstoy's Letters to His Wife
, coached the little girls and added up the income and expenses books. Tanya and Varya Nagornova went to Tula; they weren't allowed into the prison to see either Bulgakov or Dushan.

 

19th
. I often think of poor Dushan. But it's hard for me to protest—my health is poor, I have no energy and my strength has gone. I listened to a reading of Leskov's
No Way Out
.

 

17th March
. My daughter Tanya has returned from Moscow and St Petersburg, where she visited 4 ministers and pleaded for Dushan. He will be tried in a civil court.

 

3rd April
. Everything is so sad, and I can do nothing. A letter from Misha about the death of his son; a letter from Sasha filled with youthful merriment—and she is at war! I simply can't make her out.

 

6th
. Misha has come to say goodbye, for he is off to war again, this time in the staff of the Khan of Nakhichevan. It was painful to part with him yet again, and painful to hear of his son's death.

 

19th
. Today I had visitors from Tula—the teachers and headmistress of the Arsenev High School. Sympathetic people. Some peasants came wanting money for their shop. I visited the grave with the two Tanyas and we decorated it with flowers.

 

27th
. Bad news from the war; they're firing on Liepaja, the Germans have taken five provinces and sunk a private English steamer. I was overwhelmed with such sadness I could do nothing all day but wander about Yasnaya Polyana. I corrected the proofs of the
Letters
.

 

30th
. I showed Lev Nikolaev.'s rooms to a great many visitors, including some revolutionary workers. I went to the grave and planted flowers—violets, daisies and cowslips.

 

1st May
. A lot of visitors—some girls just out of secondary school and a lot of schoolboys and young people. I showed them round Lev Nikolaevich's rooms and told them about him.

 

10th
. Andryusha came with Baranov, and they visited the grave. The public behaved outrageously; I have asked the police to come tomorrow. There were 55 visitors or more.

 

15th
. Nina and I went to Tula and managed to obtain permission from the Police General to visit Dushan and Bulgakov. They were touchingly pleased to see me and asked about everything. Police General Volsky gave us the permit. I sent 700 rubles to my son Andryusha and attended to business in Tula.

 

7th June
. I am deeply shaken by the sad news of Sergei Ivanovich Taneev's death on the 6th.

 

11th
. More visitors. I worked on the index and went out to watch the hay being harvested. Very hot, with the threat of drought. I feel Taneev's death more deeply and painfully than ever. I read about his magnificent, well-attended funeral. He was truly appreciated.

 

9th July
. We sat on the balcony this afternoon sewing respirator cases for the army and drinking tea. I am reading the Gospels all the way through. Every age in life has its own viewpoint.

 

19th
. I am losing interest in life. Bad news from the war. Life here is frightening, with no guards and no dogs.

 

24th
. The house has been plunged in gloom by news of the German capture of Warsaw. I never believed in a Russian victory from the start, and now things are going from bad to worse.

 

8th August
. Dreadful news from the war: Kovno, Novogeorgievsky and many other places have been taken. Riga is being evacuated and there's fighting in the Gulf of Riga.

 

23rd
. My daughter Sasha has returned, cheerful and much thinner, full of experiences and stories.

 

28th
. Lev Nikolaevich's birthday. A wet, overcast morning, then it brightened up. I went to the grave and prayed for the souls of Lev Nik. and the parents who bore him. It's strange how quickly Tolstoy has been forgotten. There was
no one
here today, neither friends nor outsiders.

 

14th September
. I showed some Latvian refugees around Lev Nik.'s rooms. There were more than 40 of them.

 

17th
. I spent my name day happily. Andryusha came with his wife and little daughter, and Sasha with her woman doctor friend, and my grandchildren played and enjoyed themselves all day long.

 

18th November
. I am sewing a blanket for the refugees. Tanya went to Zaseka and came back with a terrible account of their poverty; the
children go to school barefoot, many of the women have nothing but thin blouses and short little skirts to wear. I again made notes for
My Life
. It's hard sometimes to relive the old life!

 

19th
. I devoted the day to finishing my notes for 1898. This evening Nina read me a critical article about Sienkiewicz, and the beginning of his novel
Quo Vadis
.*

 

24th (Moscow)
. I left for Moscow. Problems with tickets—they had trouble finding me a seat. I travelled with some officers and an army doctor who were home on leave. I am staying at the Slavonic Bazaar on Nikolskaya Street. This evening I went to a quartet recital in memory of Taneev.

 

2nd December
. I left this morning in an excellent compartment, comfortable and spacious. I found both Tanyas in good health and spirits and am overjoyed to be back.

 

7th
. Dushan Petrovich Makovitsky has returned here from prison.*

 

22nd
. My son Lyova arrived early this morning. He curses himself for gambling and living such a disorderly life, but it doesn't make him stop! Yet he has so many good qualities! This evening we read his play.* Gloomy, but clever.

Lull in fighting until March, while arms supply improves. June—new offensive along Austrian front, with some two million Russian deaths and injuries. Mobilization creates havoc in agriculture, industry and transport. December—Rasputin murdered
.

February—Andrei Tolstoy dies of pleurisy. Yasnaya Polyana, like other large estates, deteriorates. Ilya Tolstoy leaves his wife and children and emigrates to the United States
.

 

19th January
. My son Ilya arrived with two people who want to make a cinematographic film of the story ‘What People Live for'.* One appears to be a Jew, the other is a boy of 16. I walked to the grave today and felt a little calmer.

 

20th
. Ilya and the visitors walked around the estate taking photographs for the film. One of them, an actor playing an angel, stood naked in the snow!

 

11th February
. Dreadful news of Andryusha, who is ill with a high fever. The days pass quickly and uneventfully. Bulgakov is leaving for Gusev's tonight with Dushan Petrovich's memoirs. It would have been better to post them.

 

17th
. There are no trains from Tula to Moscow this week, as they're letting a military cargo through. I am planning to leave for Petersburg with Lyova to see Andryusha, and am packing my bags. Andryusha begged Katya to ask me to go there. He is evidently very ill.

 

18th
. Lyova and I left for Petrograd, via Tula. Unimaginably crowded trains. We were given two first-class tickets apparently by mistake, and squeezed ourselves into a compartment with two men who were extremely courteous and obliging. At 8 a.m. we were given our own compartment, and slept until late morning. I stayed with the Kuzminskys, Lyova with his family. Andryusha looks very ill and I am dreadfully worried.

 

19th
. The doctors keep repeating the same senseless words: “It's serious but there's no danger at present.” He has pleurisy and a bad liver. His breathing is laboured, he is a greenish-yellow colour, he shrieks and groans continuously, and three or four times a day he is racked by a fierce, agonizing chill.

 

22nd
. I suggested he should receive the Eucharist. He calmly consented, and when the priest came he confessed in a loud voice, repeating the responses and kissing everyone. He grew tired, and towards evening started shivering again.

 

23rd
. Andryusha has been unconscious all day. His breathing is agonizingly laboured.

 

24th
. Andryusha died at 10 minutes past one in the morning. It was on the 23rd that Vanechka died.

 

26th
. A splendid, brilliant funeral. Masses of wreathes, a crowded church. It was like a dream. Seryozha arrived late. We buried him at the Nikolskoe cemetery of the Alexander Nevsky Monastery.

 

9th March
. There has been a strong wind howling all day. Where is my Andryusha now!

 

23rd
. It's very sad that Lyova's family life has broken down, but it's pleasant to have him living here, especially now that Tanya has left for the trial.*

 

26th
. They have written to us from Krapivna ordering us to take in three prisoners of war. I added my signature to those of the other women protesting against the sinking of the
Portugal
.*

 

27th
. I sent for the prisoners of war, four Romanians, who arrived on government horses.

 

29th
. I coloured my children's drawings again, and sit in silence for hours on end, my heart aching for Andryusha.

 

30th
. I heard today that the two Tanechkas won't be coming for another month, and that all the Tolstoyans, apart from Seryozha Popov, have been acquitted.*

 

16th April
. This evening my son Misha arrived, looking well. He is leaving again for this cursed war on the 25th.

 

10th May
. This afternoon I invited a Molokan to tea—an interesting old man who used to visit Lev Nik.

 

14th
. There were a lot of visitors—three officers and 28 common folk from the co-operative society.

 

23rd
. My grandson Andryusha Ilich came. He has two George Crosses from the war.

 

26th
. News of 30,000 soldiers taken prisoner, and a battle in which
all
of our officers were killed.

 

29th
. A vast number of visitors—workers from a metal factory, a great many soldiers with their officer and his wife.

 

18th June
. Sasha's birthday. Where is she now, I wonder? I wrote down some information about the beginning and end of my marriage to Lev Nikolaevich, and became dreadfully agitated.

 

7th July
. Today, 7th July, is a great day—my daughter Sasha returned from the war. She looked cheerful and healthy, thank God, and we listened to her stories all evening.

 

18th
. Sasha has gone off to war again. It was very painful to see her go, worse than before.

 

24th
. Today is the Kuzminskys' 49th wedding anniversary. They've never been very happy together! My sister was telling me only recently that she never truly loved him.

 

6th August
. I had a visit this evening from my grandson Ilya Ilich Tolstoy, who has just finished at the Naval Academy. Such a nice young man.

 

9th
. Spent the day in Tula with Nina and wrote a new will.* It breaks my heart to see the soldiers and hear them singing.

 

6th September
. We had a visit from two Japanese men, a journalist
and an artist; they had lunch with us, looked around the house with great interest and asked a great many questions. One of them spoke Russian, the other a little French. Lyova has written a memorandum for the Tsar called ‘On Fixed Prices', and wants to give it to him in person.

 

11th
. Today was a happy day. First my two Tanechkas came, then Seryozha arrived with Orlov. Fascinating conversations, then Seryozha played some Indian songs and an Arabian dance on the piano.

 

22nd October
. 33 tourists, final-year students from Malakhovka, came to visit. I showed them Lev Nik.'s rooms, and Tanya gave them tea and something to eat in the wing. Then they all went out to the meadow, played games, sang songs and visited the grave.

 

3rd November
. Lyova has returned with new plans to travel to India and China and give lectures. Ilya has just left for America with the same thing in mind.* I have a lot of grief in store—if I don't die soon.

 

5th
. I am living through my last days with Lyova before his latest mad scheme—a journey through China and India. Today there is to be a Tolstoy evening in Moscow, organized by Tanya in aid of the Tolstoy Museum,* and on the 7th there will be another evening to commemorate Lev Nik.'s death.

 

6th
. I played Schubert's
Tragic Symphony
as a duet with Varya. Lovely. I was interested to read the article about the Tolstoy evening organized by the Tolstoy Society. Tomorrow is the anniversary of his death; it's sad to recall the tragic events of that period.

 

7th
. I visited the grave first thing this morning with some chrysanthemums and primulas. Our visitors today were an old woman and two young Slavs. Every city in Russia is organizing evenings in memory of L.N. Tolstoy.

 

8th
. Varya and I played Mozart's Eighth Symphony as a duet, followed by Haydn's Twelfth. They're both lovely. I read Rolland's
Vie de Tolstoï
and did some newspaper cuttings.

 

11th
. An unbearably sad parting with Lyova today. He has brought
so much to our lives—music, ideas and a good, gentle attitude to life. How talented he is, and what a good disposition he has! Yet he is so wretched and unstable.

 

21st December
. I am engrossed in the newspapers. The war, the murder of Rasputin, the chaos in the government—it fascinates and horrifies me.

 

29th
. Visitors to Lev Nikolaevich's rooms all morning. It must be pleasant to feel this deep love for him—especially if one is young. People are always astonished by the simplicity of our life here.

 

31st
. We all saw in the New Year together, and I think everyone enjoyed themselves. But my heart was grieving for my children—Ilya in America, Lyova on his way to Japan, Sasha at war and Misha about to leave any day now. And Andryusha no more! Thank God I still have Seryozha, Tanya and my darling grandchildren. The end of the sad year of 1916!