The Diary of Bink Cummings: Vol 3 (MC Chronicles #3) (21 page)

“Park out front,” I point to the building ahead that’s barely visible through the blinding lights. Rolling down my window, I unbuckle my seatbelt and stick my head out. “Would somebody shut those fucking things off? Nobody in here is armed or dangerous. Unless you don’t shut those damn lights off, then I’ll be forced to kick somebody’s ass!” I yell.

My weightless threat earns me a deep echoing chuckle from Gunz, and the lights are cut off, leaving the regular outdoor ones to guide us the rest of the way to our spot. Malcolm parks and cuts the engine; then everything happens lightning fast. A string of brothers and my Sacred Sister’s bolt out of the clubhouses double doors. My door is thrown open by Deke, just as Malcom’s door is opened by someone else. Deke doesn’t waste a second to rush in, grab me like a blushing bride, and cart me into the clubhouse headed straight for the safety of my bedroom. I grab around his neck and hold on tight as the tall Viking of a man carries me like I weigh nothing. Glancing over his shoulder, I see the whole lot of sisters following right behind us, determination and worry etched in their beautiful faces.

“Well hello to you too,” I peck Deke’s cheek as he strategically maneuvers us through the door and into the hall without hitting my feet or head on the doorframe. He faintly grins but doesn’t speak, as he continues to walk with purpose. At the end of the hallway, Deke makes the turn and just as I had suspected stops right in front of my door. Candy Cane with my key in her hand shuffles in front of us to let us in. Deke crosses the threshold and drops to sit on the bed, me still in his arms. Letting out a heavy sigh, he curls me closer to him and stuffs his face in my messy unwashed hair.

“Fuck, I missed you,” he whispers, kissing the side of my head. “I didn’t know what the hell happened.” His arms are like bands of steel as he hugs me close. I turn into him, so we are cheek-to-cheek, his face in my hair, my belly pressed to his. It feels so good to be this close to someone after all that’s went down in the past week. In one week, my life has seen more drama than some people do in an entire lifetime.

Jezebel speaks beside us, “Are you alright, Bink?”

“Yeah, what the heck happened to you?” Debbie asks.

“You can’t scare me like that again, Bink,” Deke groans and shifts a little. Then I feel it, a hard thickness touching the outside of my thigh.

Holy fuckin’ shit, he’s as hard as a baseball bat. I clear my suddenly dry throat and ignore the erection. It’s not like he can help having it, can he?

“I’ll try not to,” I whisper to his cheek and kiss it softly.

Knowing this is highly inappropriate to be sitting this intimately with Deke, I shift in his lap, leaving only one arm draped over his shoulder as I turn my head to speak to my sisters.

“I’m fine, no harm done,” I try my best to sound breezy. It works ‘cause the sisters all visibly relax. Not sure what they expected when I returned, but I’m sure it wasn’t how I’m acting. I guess I’d probably be concerned too and worried about their wellbeing if they’d just undergone what I had. I’d expect them to be distraught, except I’m not really that torn up about it. I’m just happy to be home, safe and sound. The shit with my mother seems like a distant memory by now, and I would love to keep it there. Although I know I can’t because I’m dying to find out more about my sister and all that shit entails. I can only hope that those people in my life who chose to keep her a secret will stop trying to pretend any longer. Full disclosure, that’s all I want.

“So are ya gonna tell us what happened?” Pixie asks.

I bob my head. “Sure,” I reply, as Deke’s face remains in my hair, his hot breath bathing my scalp in warmth as his hand remains wrapped around me. He doesn’t speak, and the sisters get comfortable. Pixie and Jez lean against the wall, crossing their arms. Dixie plops down on the floor. Candy Cane jumps up and sits on the edge of my dresser. Debbie is the only one to stand unmoving in the middle of the room, arms at her sides, patiently waiting for me start.

“Niki and Gunz were fuckin’ in the hotel bathroom…” I begin my story. By the time I finish telling them all about the kidnapping, the cabin, and talking to my mother (leaving out the details about my sister), Gunz strolls into the room in a mood. He stops beside me on Deke’s lap, looks between him and I, shakes his head, grabs my free hand, and tugs me off his lap. Gunz helps me stand and immediately curls his hand around my shoulders, forcing me to stay at his side, protectively.

Then he glares at Deke, “Are you a fucking moron?” Gunz smacks Deke upside the head, and Deke flinches. “She’s not your old lady. You’ll do good to remember that,” he chastises. “Now go check on the prisoner and…”

I watch Gunz’s focus drop to Deke’s crotch. “That better never happen again,” his chin jerks, gesturing to Deke’s erection. “I’m gonna let that go for now and not tell Big. This happens again, and I will,” he threatens.

I’m not sure if Deke is stunned but his face drops, turning grim. He doesn’t say a word as he stands, nods at Gunz refusing to spare me a glance, and out the door he goes, shoulders slumped, messy blonde hair flopped over his forehead. I want to yell at Gunz for being a dick to him, but I’m too tired from the long day. I know he was just doing what he thought was best.

Gunz puts his hand on my belly and rubs, “My grandbaby doin’ good?”

“Yeah.”

“How ‘bout ya say goodbye to your sisters, and then we’ll talk,” Gunz suggests, continuing to rub my belly in sweet circles.

I listen and detach from him to go give my sisters some much needed hugs.

“Be good. I’ll see ya tomorrow. Get some rest,” Debbie whispers as she hugs me.

“Love ya sister, glad you’re home,” Pixie says while we hug.

“Don’t ya worry. I’ll make sure Big kicks that fuckin’ cunt’s ass,” Jez states strongly and kisses my cheek as we hug. I kiss hers back.

“Don’t worry. Gunz’ll take good care of ya,” Dixie conveys, as we’re forced to awkwardly maneuver to keep our bellies from colliding as we embrace.

“I’ll bring by something for you to eat in the morning. Glad to have you back,” Candy Cane says, as she’s the final sister to hug me.

The sisters shuffle out of the room, and Gunz doesn’t waste a second to have me back at his side after he shuts and locks my bedroom door.

“I already talked to Big. Do you wanna speak to him?” he asks, tugging me into a side hug, arm curled around my lower back, hand on my belly, lips on my forehead.

I smile and wrap my arms around his middle, my head resting on the side of his chest. Inhaling, I get the beautiful scent of all that is Gunz.

Releasing me for a moment, he reaches into his cut and pulls out two suckers. He unwraps them with one hand, not letting me go. He places one in my mouth and the other in his, as he lets the trash fall to the ground. I accept the yummy dumdum and suck on it, savoring the sweetness and reveling in the simple way it makes me feel safe. Never thought a sucker could make you feel this way, but Gunz’s suckers are magical.

Gunz twirls his sucker in his mouth.

Pulling it out with a ‘pop’, he says, “Ya never did say. Do ya wanna talk to Big?”

Shaking my head, I brush my cheek against his pec and close my eyes.“No, not tonight. We were pissin’ each other off earlier. He doesn’t like me stickin’ up for Malcolm,” I whisper.

“Alright,” he presses a kiss to my hair. “I suppose you can just relax tonight, but we gotta talk sometime.” Gunz slackens his hold around me. “Now off ya go to shower,” he pats my back and presses against it like he’s going to push me to the bathroom.

Sighing, I open my eyes and kiss his chest, taking the hint. “Okay, sounds fair.”

I slink to the bathroom. Just as I’m shutting the door, Gunz explains to my retreating back, “I’ll be out here when you’re done. I’ll get ya some clothes and something to eat. We won’t talk yet, but I’m sleepin’ here tonight. Can’t leave ya alone.”

I nod once and smile softly, looking at the ground. Of course Gunz would take care of me. He always has and always will. Sometimes I wonder what I would have done without him in my life. I definitely wouldn’t be who I am today or where I am. Peering at my belly, my smile widens, and I rub my daughter. I most certainly wouldn’t have this beautiful girl on the way if it wasn’t for him. Even through all the stress and bullshit life throws at me, I’m very lucky to be so loved, especially by Gunz.

Shutting the bathroom door, I hear him leave. Before I undress, I finish my sucker, throw the stick in the trash, use the potty, and turn the shower on hot. Once it’s acclimated, I remove my borrowed clothes and step in the tub. The steamy heat quickly engulfs me, melting the stress away and washing it down the drain. Leaning against the wall, I let the spray pelt my back while I close my eyes, savoring the relaxation after such a long day.

Tomorrow Big will be home and more drama will unfold I’m certain, but for the rest of the night I am just going to relax in bed with Gunz by my side. I can’t think of a better way to end this week of uncertainty.

See ya tomorrow. Oh and Happy Easter. Go eat some chocolate and catch some shuteye, ‘cause that’s what I’m about to do. Peace.

Monday, April 21, 2014

The sound of Hogs echo in the distance, alerting us that the brothers are finally home. It’s about damn time! It’s been a long day waiting for them. I’ve spent it talking to the sisters in the clubhouse as Candy Cane and Debbie fawn over me twenty four seven, making sure I’m A-OK. I think they’re all waiting for me to have some sorta meltdown and are preparing themselves to pick up the pieces when I do. I feel fine. I keep telling them that, but nobody’s listening.

Deke has been M.I.A since Gunz treated him like shit. When I tried to leave the clubhouse to go check on him, Gunz forbade me and had Debbie escort me to the kitchen to eat more. I’ve already eaten enough food to feed five grown men, but they just keep shoving it in my face. Bink wants to see Deke, feed her some food. Bink wants to talk with Malcolm and bring him lunch, let her fix lunch for him then feed her some more food as somebody else delivers the sandwich and chips to Malcolm in the sterile containment room. Bink wants to go home, feed her some food. Bink wants some alone time, make her bake cookies and feed them to her. For cryin’ out loud, I don’t want any more to eat! I wish they’d just stop treating me like a damn delicate flower. I’m not one. If I have to eat another chip, another Italian Ice, or another fucking turkey sandwich, I’m gonna slit somebody’s throat. One person can only handle so much damn apple juice and so many bottles of water before they explode. I’ve already been to the bathroom a billion times today. Don’t worry, I’m not even allowed to do that alone. I know they’re doing all of this out of love, but fuck, I need a breather. At least let me piss in peace for Christ sake.

As the sounds of the motorcycles grow near, the sisters stop what they’re doing and stand by the front glass doors of the clubhouse, looking out. I remain seated on the couch with my hands wrapped around my belly. Jezebel and Pix look over their shoulders at me, and I silently wave them off with a tight smile. I’m not going to get up until the last second. How Big is going to react to me is still up in the air, and I’m not looking forward to the drama.

This very moment takes me back to a time when I was a teen living in the clubhouse. A time where I was sitting on a threadbare couch watching Debbie shoot pool as we awaited the brothers’ return. It was a scorching summer day, and a day I will vividly remember for the rest of my life.

The sounds of motorcycles in the distance alerted us they were on their way home. Everyone in the room looked at each other with relief and rushed out the front door to stand on the gravel drive. We hadn’t heard from anyone for almost a week, and the old ladies were worried sick. The worst part was Hype, one of the original brothers who’d stayed after Big took over as president was also showing signs of weighted concern. If Hype, the sixty-some year old man who always stayed behind to keep an eye on the place, was worried, we knew we should be. So…I was too. I had been without Big for weeks, which rarely happened. I missed him, I missed Gunz, I missed daddy, and I was terrified that something had happened to them.

It felt like a lifetime waiting for those bikes to roll through the gate as I clung to Debbie’s hand, shaking with both fear and excitement. Debbie smiled at me tight lipped, trying to mask her feelings. I’ve know the woman most of my life, and I knew she felt the same as I did. I smiled back, squeezing her hand to show my support.

Once the bikes started to roll through the opened gate everything unfolded so fast that I could barely keep up. Gunz urgently dismounted his bike and ran to Big, who was cut-less and clutching his hip with a towel soaked in blood. My daddy darted off his Harley and ran to Dallas who was stumbling to get off his bike, bandana wrapped around his bicep, blood running down his arm.

With a squeal Debbie released my hand and sprinted to her old man, “Oh my god! What happened!?” she screeched, grabbing hold of his injured arm.

A man rushed past me in a blur, running into the clubhouse.

“He’ll be alright, just get him in the clubhouse. Tripper’s already inside callin’ for the doctor,” Daddy reassured her.

I stood frozen, switching my eyes between Big, who was now stumbling toward the clubhouse with his arm draped over Gunz’s shoulder for support, not putting any weight on his injured leg, then over to Dallas who was trying to calm a frantic Debbie down while he held onto his bicep.

“I’m good, babe. I’m good. Just calm the fuck down, will ya,” he kept repeating on their way into the clubhouse.

I snapped out of my shock and without thinking ran to Big’s other side. “Put your arm over me,” I grabbed Big’s arm and lifted it. He slung it over my shoulder. Pulling me close, he snuggled me to the side of his chest, and we stopped moving.

“Brother, we gotta get you—” Gunz protested, but Big growled over him, shutting him up.

“Hey, little babe, don’t you worry,” he soothed, holding me close. I didn’t even realize I was trembling as unshed tears welled in my eyes. “It’s just a stab wound, had plenty of em’ before.”

I didn’t like the sound of that, and I couldn’t control it when I wrapped my arms around his middle, hugging him. I had missed him so much, and he was injured.

With a curse through gritted teeth, he bent down and kissed the top of my head. “The Doc’ll be on his way. Do ya think you can be strong and help an old man inside?” he tried to sound witty, but it came out like he was holding back a whole lot of hurt.

I nodded and unwrapped my arms from his torso. Returning his arm over my shoulder, I grabbed his fingers that were touching on my collarbone and threaded my fingers through, holding his hand. He held mine back.

“We ready?” Gunz grumbled.

“You ready?” Big glanced at me, as pain induced sweat dripped from his forehead down his reddened cheeks.

I nodded, and we slowly waded our way through the clubhouse doors, across the common room, up the hall, and into the makeshift infirmary, where Gunz and I helped lay Big down on the sheet covered metal table, his bad hip turned up. Tripper was entering just as we finished getting Big situated.

I stood by the side of the metal table and held Big’s hand, as Gunz and Tripper proceeded to slowly remove Big’s clothes. Never one to show his agony, Big didn’t make a sound other than breathing heavily as he clinched his jaw, eyes furrowed and intense.

“Don’t look, little babe. Don’t look at my leg,” Big drew my attention and squeezed my hand, breathing labored. The urge to make his pain cease consumed me, and I reached out with my free hand to wipe his sweat soaked hair off his face and smooth my hand over his head. He closed his eyes at my touch and grumbled a sigh.

It physically hurt me to see him in so much pain.

“Bink, I gotta take off his boxers. You gotta go now, Baby Doll,” Gunz said sweetly.

I shook my head, holding onto Big’s hand for dear life, as my other hand kept smoothing over the top and side of his head. “I’m not leaving,” I firmly stood my ground.

Big pulled our joined hands to his mouth and gently kissed my fingers. My throat constricted. “It’s gonna be alright. Don’t you worry,” he grinned, and my belly went wonky at the sight.

I wasn’t sure I believed him, but that grin left me feeling warm and fuzzy.

“Okay,” I muttered, with my bottom lip pouty.

Gunz came up behind me and put both of his hands on my shoulders, massaging them for comfort. They were tense. “I’m gonna give him a shot of morphine, so he’s not even gonna be awake. And ya can’t be in here for all this. The doctor’ll be here any minute,” Gunz reasoned.

Dejectedly, I nodded my understanding, and Gunz released me, giving me a minute to say bye. I knelt next to the table and pressed a kiss between Big’s creased, agony stricken eyes. “I’ll be outside,” I whispered to his clammy forehead.

Big growled lowly in his naked chest, “I’ll be here.”

Reluctantly, I released Big’s hand and spared him one last glance on my way out. They were removing his boxers just as I stepped over the threshold. The rest of his body had already been stripped bare. Tripper shut the door in my wake.

Not knowing what to do with myself, I paced the hall in front of the infirmary’s door. My heart pounded frantically with each step as my palms grew clammy and my concern tripled tenfold. He couldn’t die. He had to be alright. The doctor had to fix him and make Big whole again.

Minutes later, which felt like hours, the doctor and my daddy came to Big’s aid. They went inside, leaving me to my own thoughts pacing the hall. My mind wandered wondering what had happened to him? How much damaged had been inflicted? Why did it happen?

Sometime later, after my legs began feeling like noodles, and my mind was fuzzy from exhaustion, the doors opened and my daddy and Tripper stepped out, faces grim.

Daddy came to me, pulling me into a hug. “He’s fine,” Daddy reassured.

Tilting my head up, chin on his chest, I peered into my daddy’s eyes. “Can I see him?”

Releasing me, he nodded with a gloomy smile and swept his hand toward the closed door. I followed him inside. Big was still out cold, resting on his side as a white sheet laid over his naked form, leaving only his thick muscled torso and chest exposed. He looked comfortable like he was in a deep peaceful sleep.

Daddy left me to go speak to the doc who was using the sink and throwing away bloody rags in the wastebasket. I paid them no mind when I strode to the corner of the room and drug a dilapidated wooden chair next to Big’s makeshift bed. Sitting down, I sighed and melted into the chair feeling the instant relief in my noodle legs. It felt dang good to take a load off.

My daddy saw the doctor out, talking payment, and left me with Big. I took the time to study his serene face. It looked rugged with more than a day’s growth, but his face was relaxed and soft. His lips full and supple. He looked magnificent. I don’t know how or when but as I watched him breathe in and out while the IV made noise pushing fluids into his arm, I fell asleep in the chair. When my heavy lids fluttered awake, the first sight I saw was Big smirking at me.

“Mornin’ sunshine, ya sleep good?” he teased.

I rubbed my eyes and stretched my arms above my head with a groan. “Yeah,” my voice was groggy. “How ya feelin?”

“Like I was just stabbed in the side,” he quipped, grinning.

“Ha-ha-ha,” I rolled my eyes. “Do ya want me to get ya anything?”

He tapped his cheek with a finger. “A big ol’ get well smackeroo.”

I complied and planted a sloppy wet kiss on his cheek to make his boo-boo’s all better. We laughed about it, lightening the mood.

I stayed with him the rest of the day watching him like a hawk, even after three of the brothers had helped transfer him to his clubhouse bedroom. I slept the entire week on Big’s bedroom floor, although he had insisted it wasn’t necessary. I still made it my top priority to make all of his favorite foods, help him to the bathroom, and retrieve his clothes. You know, basically all the things that you do for someone you care for when they’re sick or injured. That’s what I did for him.

“Hey, Bink,” Debbie calls from the door, tearing me from my thoughts. I turn my head to look at her, “White Boy is openin’ the gate. They’re getting close.”

“Kay.” I muster a halfhearted grin.

It’s show time.

Using the arm of the chair as leverage, I push off the couch and waddle toward the door, hands supporting my lower back. After yesterday’s bumpy van ride, my ankles have turned into balloons, and my back hurts something fierce. It even hurts to walk. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say I slept on a bed of jagged rocks for a week, based on how shitty I feel.

Approaching the doors, where my excited sisters stand, the sounds of motorcycles grow so close I can feel the vibrations. They’ve gotta be right outside.

“They’re here,” Dixie singsongs.

See, I was right.

I stop behind the horde of excited sisters, but they don’t waste another second to shove open the clubhouse doors and dart outside to their old men. I take my time and follow slowly behind, grunting under my breath with each step. My stubborn ass probably should have taken a Tylenol.

Bike after bike files in taking up the parking spots outside of the clubhouse, next to the cargo van I returned home in yesterday. Dixie takes off after Brew, stopping by his parked bike and throwing her arms around his neck, kissing his face repeatedly. Jezebel strolls over to Bulk, swaying her hips and grabbing her boobs to give him a show. He shakes his head, laughing at her. I can’t help but chuckle too. That’s one wild woman.