The Distance (17 page)

Kai was right on time. When he rang the bell at six p.m., I looked down at myself and unfastened an extra button on my shirt. Then I decided it made me look like I was trying too hard and buttoned it again. I was wearing my version of a sexy outfit: a fitted, bright blue, button-down shirt that I’d been told brought out my blue eyes, and a pair of dark indigo jeans that made my butt look good. That was about all I could manage, as far as sexy went. I adjusted the rolled-back cuff of my shirt and headed for the front door.

Kai was trying to smooth down his thick, unruly hair with his palm, but stopped as soon as I swung the door open. “Hey. You look great,” he said, juggling a couple items under his arm.

“So do you.” He was wearing a tight Henley, jeans, cowboy boots, and a motorcycle jacket, all in black. Now
that
was how to do sexy.

I stepped back and held the door for him, and when he came in, he handed me a brown paper shopping bag and a bouquet of white daisies. “I brought wine, but I have no idea if you like it, so I also brought beer.” He was nervous, which struck me as incredibly cute.

“Thank you.” I stretched up to kiss his cheek.

We went into the kitchen together, and as I looked for a vase I said, “I don’t remember if I thanked you the first time you brought me flowers. I probably didn’t since it all went wrong that night, and I’m so sorry about that. They meant a lot to me, and so do these.”

“I’m glad you like them. I probably shouldn’t have brought daisies again, but there’s not much else blooming in my yard right now.”

“You grew them? Now it’s doubly sweet.”

I filled a blue glass vase with water, and as I carefully arranged the flowers, he said, “I wanted to tell you about something funny that happened this week. Remember the guys on the roof, the ones who caught us in the act when we were messing around on the picnic table?” When I nodded, he said, “Well, one of them brought his car to me this week. He said he’d never realized it was a gay-owned business until he saw you and me…you know. He also said he wasn’t sure if the garage was open, since it looks abandoned from the outside. I need to do something about that.”

“If you decide you want to paint it, I’ll be happy to help. A little color would do wonders.”

“Thanks. I’m rebuilding this guy’s transmission, so I’ll have some money coming in soon. Maybe I can use some of it on paint and supplies.”

I grinned and said, “Who’d have thought an act of public indecency would lead to a job?”

“It’s weird, I know, but I’m glad to get the business. It might even be more than just a one-time thing. This guy Ash is a DJ and knows a lot of people, and he said he’s going to tell his friends about me. I guess some other garages can kind of feel like hetero boys’ clubs, which makes him uncomfortable. That’s not going to happen at my place.”

“It sounds like you two hit it off.”

“We did, even though he’s the exact opposite of me, really talkative and social. Actually, he reminds me of you.”

“You think you and I are opposites?”

“In some ways. You know how I am, we’ve been in the same racing club a long time. We have our love of cars in common, but you’re colorful, and upbeat, and you have a million friends. I have one, his name’s Sawyer. I’m not counting my twin, because that’s dorky.”

“I’m sure you have more than one friend.”

“Not really, but that’s all I need. It did get a little lonely when Sawyer joined the Army and got shipped overseas, but Malia’s still here.”

“I hope I get to meet your friend sometime,” I said.

“You will.”

I opened two of the beers he’d brought, and as I handed him one of the bottles, I said, “You’re so different with me than you are with the other guys in the racing club. Why don’t you let them see this side of you?”

“Why should I?”

“So they know they’re wrong about you, just like I was.”

“I really don’t care what they think of me. They decided I was an asshole a long time ago, just because I tend to keep to myself. If they want to believe that, let ‘em.”

I thought about that for a moment, then said, “We really are different. I try so hard to get people to like me. Too hard. It’s kind of pathetic. One guy I dated compared me to a needy little puppy, always jumping around trying to please everyone. It obviously wasn’t a compliment. It wasn’t even a very good analogy. It still hurt, though.”

“That guy was a dick. It’s sweet, the way you love your friends so much and try to take care of them. That doesn’t make you needy, it makes you one of the kindest people I’ve ever met.”

“He
was
a dick.” I took another sip of beer, then changed the subject. “Are you hungry?” He nodded and I said, “Let’s grab a couple more beers and head to the third floor. I thought it’d be fun to eat upstairs in the grand ballroom.”

He picked up the remainder of the six-pack and the bottle opener. “Is there anything else I can carry?”

“No, everything’s already up there.” I took the flowers along, and as we climbed the stairs side by side, I asked, “What’s Izzy doing tonight?”

“She and my sister are going to make popcorn and have a princess movie film festival. I’m lucky to have three in-house babysitters.”

“Aw, but you’re missing the princess movies,” I teased.

“Oh believe me, I have them all committed to memory. Izzy watches those things over and over. I guess we all need an escape from reality sometimes, and those movies are her happy place.”

“She struck me as a pretty serious little kid when I met her.”

Kai said, “I’d describe her as cautious. She’s so afraid of making mistakes. I really don’t know where she gets that. I make mistakes all the time and try to show her it’s no big deal. But she holds herself to these impossible standards, and she’s only in kindergarten. I worry about how that’s going to play out later in life.”

“I think, with a parent as loving and supportive as you in her corner, she’s going to be just fine.”

We reached the open double doors to the grand ballroom, and he stopped in his tracks and murmured, “Holy shit.”

I said nervously, “I hope it’s not too over the top.” I’d suspended cording from a panel in the high ceiling, which held up several patterned and striped sheets. They formed a tent over a low table and a bunch of colorful pillows. Because it was kind of dark inside, I’d lined the tent with multiple strands of white Christmas lights, so the whole thing glowed like a paper lantern. I told him as we walked up to the tent, “This is my favorite room in the house, because of that mural of the snowy birch forest on the walls. It was painted by my friend Christopher Robin for a winter wedding a few years back.”

“Is the blanket fort usually in here?”

I grinned and said, “I think of it more as a dining pavilion, and no. I rigged that for tonight. The room’s so big, and I wanted to give us a more intimate place to have dinner.”

“You went to so much trouble.”

“It was no trouble at all,” I said as I slid my shoes off. He pulled off his jacket and cowboy boots, and we both climbed into the tent and settled onto the pillows.

“Sure it was. My God, look at all this.” He seemed a bit stunned as he gestured at the elaborately set table. The china and silverware sparkled in the soft light.

I made room for the daisies amid several low vases of wildflowers, and fidgeted by smoothing the yellow tablecloth. “Well, you told me you haven’t dated since high school, so I wanted to do something special for you. I tend to get a bit carried away, sorry if I overdid it.”

Kai crawled around to my side of the table and pulled me into an embrace. “Don’t apologize. This is the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me. I just feel kind of bad, because I’ll never be able to top it.”

“Who says you have to?”

“Okay, wrong choice of words. It’s not like I’m going to try to out-do you,” he said, leaning back to look at me. “But I want to try to reciprocate. If I just take you to Nolan’s next weekend like I was planning, it’s going to seem like I’m not even trying.”

“I’d love to go to Nolan’s with you. Or anyplace at all,” I said softly.

He touched my cheek and kissed me tenderly, then said as he held me to him, “Thank you for doing all of this for me.”

“It was my pleasure.” I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his shoulder. He smelled so good, like soap and cotton and Kai. “I missed you,” I whispered.

“I missed you, too. I thought about you all the damn time.”

Kai sat back a bit and ran his hands down my upper arms. I felt shy all of a sudden, and said, “Make yourself comfortable while I bring us the first course.”

He arranged the pillows while I got up and retrieved the soup I’d made. Zachary had given it a big thumbs-up when I fed him a bowl before he went home, but I still worried about whether Kai would like it and the rest of the meal. I’d set up several chafing dishes on a table beside the wall of windows and checked them quickly to make sure they were keeping dinner warm. One of the great things about entertaining at Nana’s house, besides the beautiful setting, was that she owned enough housewares to fully stock a major department store.

I served the soup and a basket of sliced Italian bread, then took a seat across from Kai. “It’s minestrone. I hope you like it. The bread turned out a little dense, but it’s not terrible if you dip it in the soup.”

“You baked bread for me?”

“I tried to. Nana showed me how to make it once, but I clearly need another lesson.”

I watched him from beneath my lashes as he tried the soup. When he said, “That’s so good,” I let out the breath I’d been holding.

As we ate, Kai asked, “What did you do this week?”

“I spent a lot of time in dress shops. I drove Nana and her girlfriends to nine different boutiques over four days, so we could try on wedding gowns.”

“We?”

“Nana likes to see several gowns at once, but on people, not on hangers. So everyone joins in, me included.”

“That’s incredibly nice of you.”

“I’m happy to help. Nana’s getting married in June, which isn’t all that far away, and she was nervous about finding the perfect dress. She never did find one after all of that, so she finally decided to let one of Mr. Mario’s friends make something for her. He’s a professional clothing designer, and he’s also a drag queen with quite a flair for the dramatic, so it’ll be interesting to see what he comes up with.”

“Are you in the wedding party?”

“Yeah. There are a couple dozen groomsmen and almost as many bridesmaids. Her grandson Dante is best man, and he’s walking Nana down the aisle.”

“How many people are coming to the wedding?”

“About seven hundred. That’s Nana’s idea of keeping it small.”

“I can’t even imagine a wedding that big. Where’s she getting married?”

“She rented out an entire boutique hotel in Nob Hill for the ceremony and the reception. That’s also where she and Ollie are putting up their out-of-town guests. The banquet room is really pretty, it has panoramic city views and great art deco details from the 1920s.”

“Sounds nice.”

“It is. I hope it all goes off without a hitch. It’d break my heart if Nana didn’t get her dream wedding.”

“You really care about her.”

“I love Nana. It meant so much to me when she made me feel like I was one of the family and invited me into her beautiful home. I’m going to miss living here and being a part of all this.”

“You’ve moving out?”

I nodded. “Nana doesn’t need me like she used to, now that she has Ollie. I’ll still be her driver when she wants to go somewhere in the limo and I’ll help out whenever I’m needed, but it’s already not full-time anymore, and after the wedding I’ll be needed even less. It’s time to find my own apartment.”

Kai asked, “What kind of place are you looking for?”

“Anything that’s affordable, which will probably include several roommates. Nana’s been paying me an overly generous salary, which actually needs to change now that I’m working fewer hours. I managed to build up my savings since I’ve been living rent-free, but I’ll burn through my money way too fast if I get a place on my own.”

“The cost of living is insane. If my grandparents hadn’t bought that house in the sixties, there’s no way in hell my family could afford to live in this city.”

“What happened to your granddad?”

“He died of heart disease before I was born.”

“I’m sorry you didn’t get a chance to know him. My grandpa and I were pretty close. Before…well, you know.”

“Fuck,” Kai murmured, and I looked up from my soup. “I hate it so much that your family did that to you.”

I tried to smooth out a wrinkle in the pale yellow tablecloth as I looked down again and said, “When I was a kid and realized I liked boys, I spent a lot of time wondering why God hated me so much. I’d been taught that being gay was a sin, and I was also told that God made us, so I couldn’t figure out why he’d make me that way and condemn me to burn in hell. I used to go into our church when it was empty and kneel in front of the altar and pray to Him to change me, to make me like everyone else so I could go to heaven with the rest of my family.” I pulled up a smile and added, “Obviously I was a clueless little kid, and in my teens I finally learned I’d been misled all my life.” I was startled when two big tears spilled from my eyes, and I wiped them away quickly. “Shit, I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean to do this.”