The Divine Whisper (29 page)

He stood up and walked to the foot of the hospital bed.
When he placed his hands on the plastic, he had to force himself to relax his grip before breaking the bed. “What the fuck were you thinking today?”

Her eyes became twice as big as before and her mouth dropped open.
It took her a few seconds to recover, but once she had, she was as irate as he was. “What are you talking about? You’re going to have to be more specific here.”

“The part where you purposefully put yourself in danger by entering a situation that volatile, or how about when you put yourself directly in danger’s path.”

“What was I supposed to do? Shane called me! Should I have not gone to help?” Before he could answer, she went on. “That is my job! It’s not like that every day, but I’m not going to turn away a child that needs me!”

“Oh yeah?
What about your own children? They are going to need you every day, now more than ever. By protecting that boy today, you put them in danger!”

“I know.”
Her voice had become softer, but he didn’t notice.

“When you shoved that boy behind you, and stood between them, you put
my
children in front of that monster!” he shouted.

“I know.”
The sob brought him up short, and he stopped his rant.

Looking closer, he saw tears running down her cheeks, and he took a deep breath to calm himself.
What he had to say, she wasn’t going to like, so he thought it was best for them both to simmer down before he went on. He thought about sitting by her side once again, but quickly thought better of it. He wanted to keep the upper hand. If she thought that they were on equal ground, she might put up more of a fight.

“The doctor said you were on bed rest,” he said in a matter of fact tone.

It wasn’t a question, but she still nodded her head in agreement.

“Have you figured out what you’re going to do?”

“That’s what Trinity and I were talking about when you came in. We were going to figure something out.”

He squared his shoulders and crossed his arms in front of his chest.
“There’s no need. Once you get out of here, I’m taking you to my house. That’s where you’re going to stay for the remainder of your pregnancy. Trinity can grab anything you need from your house, but I’ll care for you during that time.”

Nicole laughed and looked at him as if he had lost his mind.
Maybe he had, but he didn’t care. It was the only way he could make sure that everyone was safe.

When she finally recovered her senses and opened her mouth to say something, Gemariah stopped her with a scowl. “There’s no sense in arguing.
It won’t do you any good.”

“I could have you thrown out of here.”

He shrugged. “I won’t be.”

Her face started to turn crimson in anger.
“Trinity won’t let this happen.”

“I’d like to see her stop me.”

“I’m not going to stay at your house so I can witness your life of debauchery!”

“No other women,” he stated. Little did she know that he was planning for the long haul, a thought that terrified him until he felt what it was like without her.
He decided to keep that information to himself for the time being.

She through her arms in the air and yelled, “Why do you even care?
After everything, I’m surprised you aren’t glad to be rid of me.”

“Have you not been listening, woman!”

I’ve had to stop two nurses and my hostile wife from barging in there. Wrap it up or quiet it down.

Malachi’s warning came through, and Gemariah marched back to her side and scowled. When she backed away marginally, he became even more upset. “We’re gonna get a few things straight, and then they will be dropped. No more mentioning them. No more guilt from them. Are we clear?”

When she stayed silent, and only glared, he continued.

“First of all.
I’m not whoever hurt you in the past. There is no need to cowl back from me, because I would rather chop off my own arms than lay a hand on you in a negative way.” Her eyes opened wide with disbelief. “Don’t look so shocked. You give off a wounded vibe to anyone that threatens to crack your hard surface. One day, I hope you’ll confide in me about that, but today is not the day. Today is the day when all the bullshit stops.”

He waited till he could see that what he said had sunk in before he continued.
“That brings me to my second point. I’m a dick.”

“I could have told you th
—”

“Don’t interrupt me!
You’ve had months to tell me what’s what, and now it’s my turn.” For once, she did what she was told and shut her mouth. “I’m a dick. I’ve never kept this a secret, we’ve talked about it before, and it’s no surprise. Once in a while, I do stupid things. I’m sick to death of this dance we keep doing; the one where you’re mad at me and I grovel until you throw me a bone!”

She opened her mouth and he glared down at her.
He could almost see the wheels turning in her head, contemplating if she should take the bait with the dog reference. She chose to remain silent.

“Good girl,” he praised before continuing.

“All this time, I didn’t want to make you too angry, because I was worried you wouldn’t give me another chance, or I would lose you and our children. Now you know that I will do everything in my power to keep us all together, but I will NOT be your whipping boy any longer!”

“Now to my last point.
Yes, I did an incredibly stupid thing. I wasn’t in the right state of mind. I got scared and handled it badly. I went to a bar to drown out everything that was going through my head. She approached me.”

“I don’t want to know details.”

“That’s too bad, because you’re going to hear them. My ultimate goal is for there to be no doubt in your mind about me someday. That will never happen if you don’t hear this from me.”

She didn’t say anything, only broke eye contact with him to look forward.
He knew that he caused a lot of damage that day, but they needed to get over it to move on.

“She approached me,” he continued.
“I knew that she wanted us to leave together the second she sat down. I didn’t put up a fight and before the bartender could bring us our drinks, we were walking out.”

“You were in that much of a hurry to be with her?”

“I was that much in a hurry to try and flush you from my mind.”

She didn’t look up at him, but he saw a single tear slip down her cheek.
He felt more like a jackass than ever, but he was adamant that telling her was for the best, so he went on.

Some of the fire had left him, and he sunk back down to the chair he had vacated a few minutes earlier.
“All I could think about was the look of my mother, cold and blue with two babies on her that looked equally bad. In my messed up mind, I thought that it was only a matter of time before I lost you too. Therefore, I tried to rid you from my mind, before it actually happened. First I tried with alcohol, and when that didn’t work, she approached me and I thought I would try another way. We kissed each other outside the bar, and drove to my house in separate cars. When we got there, we kissed again and started to remove our clothes.”

“Please don’t.”

He continued as if she hadn’t said anything. “And that’s when I stopped. Everywhere she touched felt wrong. All I could think about was your hands, your lips… you.

“When I left her to call her own cab, I wasn’t thinking.
I wasn’t thinking about anything because I was too busy feeling disgusted with myself. I went to my bedroom, shut the door, and stayed there until you came the next morning.

I heard what she said to you, and I made sure she knew how much I didn’t appreciate it. That’s probably why she said what she did when she was leaving, a way to get back at me for the things I called her only moments before. That, and the fact that she has a cold heart.”

He stood up and started moving towards the door.
“That is the last time it gets mentioned. I’ve apologized, and explained what I was thinking and what happened. That’s more than I’ve ever given anyone before, and if it’s not good enough for you then nothing will be. Are we clear?”

She still didn’t speak, and it was driving him insane not to know what she was thinking.
He got to the door and opened it slightly to leave. At the last moment, he turned to look at her. “I’ll go make sure everything is ready at my house for you when you get out, and there will be no more arguments about the topic.”

“I’m never going to have sex with you again, so don’t think that this elaborate plan will lead to anything.
That ship has sailed,” she spit out.

He smiled and winked at her.
“Never say never, Sweetheart.” With that, he walked out of the room. He passed an exasperated Malachi, a pissed off Trinity, and even Nicole’s old foster parents, Joseph and Renée. He could feel their uncertainty about him, but he didn’t care.

It took a long time for his smile to fade.
The score might still be tipped in her favor, but he had definitely won that round.

CHAPTER 13

Nicole was bored out of her mind.
Three weeks! Three weeks, and she was still stuck in bed. Sure, it was a large, soft, and very comfortable bed, but she still wanted to get up, walk around, and even go to work. The world was still going on around her, and it was as if she was stuck at a standstill. It’s an eerie feeling, and one that she couldn’t wait to shake off.

Gemariah had put her up in his bedroom.
She had insisted on another room, but he wouldn’t hear of it. He persisted that his bed was more comfortable, and since she was going to be spending more time in it than he was, it only made sense that she had it. No matter what she said, he wouldn’t change his mind, so she stopped protesting.

The first week was spent more being nervous about what Gemariah had under his sleeve.
His sudden turnaround was strange and she couldn’t help but wonder what his ulterior motives were. Their attitude towards each other was civil, but it was far from warm. She was doing everything to protect her heart from the damage she knew that he could inflict.

The second week, things became a little easier.
He started to spend more time around her. Some days, it was under the guise of doing something to the room, but she had her suspicions that it was just to get her more comfortable with his presence. It was as if she was a wild animal that he had to tame. It must have worked, because eventually one day he came in, and she forgot to act indifferent to him.

They started to talk like they used to.
It was nice. She had many visitors her first week, but eventually everyone’s visits became more infrequent, so it was nice to have Gemariah’s company every day.

He went in to work when he had to and assured her that Malachi and the rest of them understood.
When he
did
go in, he always came back to spend lunch with her, and then every evening he stayed and they ate dinner together.

Now, being twenty six days, and three hours in, she could say that they had become friends.
There was still a piece of her that she held back; the piece that would shatter if he hurt her again. She had forgiven him for everything, but she didn’t think she could ever forget.

As if on cue, the downstairs door slammed shut.
He was always slamming doors and cabinets to where she thought they would break. She always teased him about how hard he did everything. It was as if he was stronger than the world could handle, and he didn’t know how to reign it all in. She smiled at the thought.

That’s how he found her.

“What’s got you in such a good mood?” he asked as he walked in holding a paper bag with a delicious aroma coming from it.

Her smile grew. “I was just wondering how many doors you’ve broken in your life just by shutting them.”

“Watch it, Tinker Bell.”

“Ugh. Do you know how ridiculous of a nick name that is?” She was always complaining about the name, but it was starting to grow on her. It was his own little endearment for her.

“You know, I hear what you’re saying, but then you scrunch your nose while you protest, and it makes you look even more like a pixie.”
He grabbed the small place table that she ate on and sat it down before unloading the food onto it.

She rolled her eyes, but chose to let it go.
“What did you bring me today? It smells great.”

“There’s this small Mexican restaurant a couple blocks from where I was at today.
I’ve only eaten there once, but when I did, it was amazing. I’m never usually in the area, so I don’t get to eat there very often.”

Nicole eyed the large amount of food.
“Why so much? Are people coming over?” she asked.

“Woman, have you not been paying attention to how much I eat?
This is mine.” He moved three quarters of the pile away from her, and pointed to the other two items. “And that’s yours,” he added.

She chuckled and looked back down to the game she was paying on her tablet.

“What’s that?” she heard him ask.

“It’s a game that for some reason I can’t stop playing.
I don’t know why either. It’s
so
frustrating.”

He leaned closer and she felt his breath against the back of her neck.
“What do you have to do?” he asked softly.

Nicole shut her eyes and willed herself not to be affected by his nearness.
When she opened them back up, she had regained her composure. “You have to slide these candies to make matches of three. Every level there’s a different challenge, and every level gets a little harder than the one before it. There are so many times that I’ll get so close, but won’t make it.”

“Hmm.
Let me try,” was all she heard before the tablet was pulled from her hands. She tried to make a grab for it, but he held it out of her reach and nodded to her food. “Eat some first, and then I’ll give it back.”

Grudgingly, she picked up her burrito and looked down to watch the game.
It didn’t take him long to lose a level and waste one of her lives. “That’s a crock,” he spit out.

She laughed and took the tablet from his hands and handed him her food.
Surprisingly, he didn’t fight her, but leaned in to watch her play.

She groaned when once again she lost a round.

“You were ripped off,” Gemariah said with a mouthful.

Nicole looked up and saw a large bite taken out of her burrito. Slightly elbowing him in his side, she scolded, “Hey, stop eating my food.”

It was almost natural when they switch tablet and food again.
A few minutes later, Gemariah let out a loud, “Hah!” “I won,” he said with a grin.

“No you didn’t.”

He quickly looked down at the screen where it said that he hadn’t completed the level. “What? I did what it said to do.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t get enough points to pass the level.”

“What the hell?” He handed the tablet back to her on a huff, and she couldn’t help but tease him.

“Sore loser much?”

When he only scowled and didn’t answer, she smiled and looked back down at the game. It wasn’t too long before she felt him lean in to watch. When she lost again, she lowered her shoulders on a sigh. “I’m out of lives. Now I wait… again.”

She turned it off and reached for more food.

“I think that game was created by demons with the sole purpose to torment people.”

His comment made her laugh and look over at him. “I couldn’t agree more.”

Together they sat there, talking and laughing until he had to go back to work. It had been a short time, but it was a time that would keep her smiling until he got home that evening.
I had better be more careful
, she thought,
or I could start getting used to the arrangement
. She couldn’t forget that she was still going home after everything was over with. If only his place would stop feeling like home to her.

******

It had been a little over five weeks, and she didn’t think she could take much more. She needed out! Every day she would walk around the room or to the bathroom, but she was never up too long.

There was one evening that she had talked Gemariah into letting her go downstairs.
It was glorious! They sat outside on the patio and played cards.

He was in the middle of teaching her five card stud when she had a cramp.
It wasn’t a large one, but it was enough to cause her to flinch. Without haste, he picked her up and carried her back to bed. He spent the rest of the night muttering how he should have never let her leave the bed, and how it would not be happening again. No matter how many times that she told him it could have been anything, gas even, he didn’t want to listen. After that, she knew her bedroom stint was lasting until she got the go ahead from the doctor, and her next appointment wasn’t for a couple days.

She flopped back on the bed and threw her hands out wide.
It only took a minute until her breathing became difficult and she sat up to prop herself against the headboard.

“Why are you looking so glum?”

She heard the voice, but didn’t open her eyes. She wanted to wallow in self-pity a little while longer.

“What if I told you that I brought a surprise?”

This got her to crack open an eye, but she still didn’t speak.

She saw him smile before her gaze zeroed in on what he was holding in front of him.
Her laptop! She squealed and stood up on her knees. When she reached for it, he held it back from her grasp.

“There are some stipulations.”

Groaning, she sat back down and looked up at him, waiting not so patiently.

“You are not to overwork yourself.
You’re office has given you leeway to record information on an encrypted file that can’t be hacked. New software has been installed, and it’s safe to use.”

She knew that she was doing a horrible job of hiding her excitement.
It was too good to be true. Something to do! An actual purpose while she was stuck in limbo.

“You are not to overwork yourself,” he warned again.
“If I say it’s time to shut it down, it’s time to shut down. Do you understand?”

She held out her arms.
“Yes, Father,” she mocked.

He held out the computer for her to take.
“I’m only concerned. I’m not your father.”

“Thank God for that.”
She wasn’t paying complete attention to their conversation, but instead powered up her computer. It took a minute to notice the silence, and she realized what she had said. It was something that needed clarification. He had contacted her job and set everything up for her. It was a gift that needed a reward. Therefore, she decided it was time to open a tiny window into her past.

She looked up at him and sighed in resignation.
“My biological father was a very mean person. That’s actually putting it lightly. You’re nothing like him.”

In discomfort, she looked back down at her screen and clicked on the McGrath file.
There were so many similarities between what happened with Shane and what happened to her. It made her nauseated just to think about it.

“My biological mother and he made my life hell.
I did everything wrong and was a bane on their existence. They made it a point to show me, physically and mentally… every day.”

That was more than she had planned on revealing and once it was out there, she felt awkward.
She clicked on the picture file and scrolled down to the photo of the white haired man.

“My dad was a dick too.”

His admission brought her gaze back up and to him once more. She waited silently so he could continue, just as he had done for her.

“He beat the crap out of me every day.
He never liked me and wanted me gone, but I wouldn’t leave my mother.”

“Was she mean too… like mine?”

He looked to the far back corner and smiled. “Nah. She was a queen to me. Not saying that she didn’t wallop me whenever my head needed to be straightened, but she never raised a hand to anyone out of anger.”

His smile started to fade, but it was as if he was still lost in the past.
“No matter how bad it was with my father, she always tried to protect me. When I got older, it was me that was protecting her. There was no way that I was going to leave her.”

“She sounds wonderful.”

He smiled again, and brought his focus back to her. “She was.”

“How old were you… when she died?” she asked but then realized how incredibly rude that was.
“I’m sorry. You don’t have to answer that.”

“No.
It’s okay.” He moved to the side of the bed and sat down. After some adjusting, he sat next to her and leaned against the headboard as well. “I was twelve.”

She put her hand on his leg.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “Is your dad still around?”

“Oh no.
He’s been gone for quite some time.” He picked up her hand that was on his leg and held it in his.

She wanted to say that she was sorry, but she didn’t know if she truly was.
A person that was that terrible to their own child… well, it was something she would never understand.

“Did you ever find out why he was the way he was, to you I mean?” she asked.

It was as if he was reluctant to speak, but eventually he answered. “I wasn’t his biological son.” When she didn’t say anything, but looked at him with a confused expression, he groaned and rubbed his hands down his face. “She was raped. She got pregnant.”

“Oh my.”
She immediately regretted asking. “Did they ever catch him?”

“He came back years later, and it happened all over again. I was gone for the day, or I could have done something.” He was staring at the wall on the opposite side of the room, and she could tell by his tight fists that there was still a large amount of regret inside him. He shook his head as if to clear it, and continued. “That time she got pregnant with the twins. You know what happened from there. Years later, he was caught and brought to justice.”