The Divorce Papers: A Novel (36 page)

TRAYNOR, HAND, WYZANSKI

222 CHURCH STREET
NEW SALEM, NARRAGANSETT 06555
(393) 876-5678

MEMORANDUM

Attorney Work Product

So, we met yesterday afternoon, Durkheim, Kahn, 3M, and I, to talk about a settlement. Only, we didn’t do it. Kahn’s gambit, something about sending an adjuster to assess the Martha’s Vineyard property, set her off, and I mean “off.” She looked at him straight on and said, “After the assessment, are you planning on ordering any DNA tests for Jane? I hope you’ll let me know if you are, because I’m prepared to go to the state bar if you do.” She then turned to Daniel. “You know, don’t you, that Kahn is very thorough and he doesn’t think a husband should pay child support for a child who may not be his. Has he said he’s planning to test Jane?” I thought Durkheim would pop a blood vessel. She then went on, turning to Kahn, who was gulping for air. “I believe that all your other clients work in the carting business, isn’t that so?” Then she turned to her husband: “I’m assuming you gave him his retainer in cash, tens and twenties, right?” Kahn looked daggers at her, his face blotchy with anger. Before she could regroup, Durkheim stepped in. “Let’s get down to business. Let’s talk about alimony. Where do you get off thinking you should get $72,000 a year?” 3M turned her gimlet eye to her husband. “Getting you off, asshole, for 17 years.” She then gave a brief disquisition on their sex life, which ended with the line “I always thought you could f*** a corpse, that you’d prefer it, actually.” I turned to look at Durkheim as she was speaking. His face was at war, equal parts anger and embarrassment. For a nice-looking, rumpled man, his mouth had taken an ugly turn. He looked at me, then Kahn. I did a facial shrug (mouth down, eyebrows up). Kahn, his manhood unimpeached, leapt in, waxing indignant and pomp-ass. “Miss Diehl, I’ve never heard anything like that in my life. Really, you need to keep your client in check.” I threw him a sitcom double take, the way Elaine might do it. “Give me
a break, Mr. Kahn,” I said. “This is nursery school stuff, and you know it. Tell your client to stop acting aggrieved and behaving as though he doesn’t have an obligation to support his wife and child at a level they are entitled to be supported at, and we’ll come up with a workable agreement.” I then turned to 3M and said, “I don’t think they’re serious. Let’s go.” And out we walked.

I haven’t given you the full report; I can’t bring myself to do it. I hope you understand. There were words I never heard anyone but Richard Pryor say. She was firing away, rat-a-tat, rat-a-tat, so fast and furiously I couldn’t keep up with her. I had to take a few deep breaths to keep my countenance, as Papa used to say. When we got out onto the street, I asked, “Spontaneous or rehearsed?” She smiled slyly. “Just great good luck,” she said. The DNA testing was a reference to the Peele divorce. Flush with victory, 3M sent me the attached email last night. It provides color.

Narragansett Statutes

Title 33 of the Narragansett Code, Sections 801ff.
Dissolution of Marriage, Annulment, and Legal Separation

Sec. 806. Paternity establishment.

There is a presumption that a child born during a marriage is the issue of the marriage, and no person may challenge this presumption save the parties to the marriage.

TRAYNOR, HAND, WYZANSKI

222 CHURCH STREET
NEW SALEM, NARRAGANSETT 06555
(393) 876-5678

MEMORANDUM

Attorney Work Product

Mrs. Meiklejohn’s will, probated in 1982, set up two trusts, one for Mia Meiklejohn and one for Cordelia Meiklejohn. Each trust had an original principal of $400,000. Mia’s vests on her 50th birthday. I am her sole trustee. Cordelia’s money will remain in trust, with Bruce Meiklejohn and me acting as trustees, until Cordelia’s death, at which time the remaining funds, if any, will be settled on Mia or, if she has died, her children. Cordelia’s trusts may be invaded for purposes of “necessity,” Mia’s for “emergency” purposes only. To date, there have been no invasions. The money has been invested in blue chip stocks averaging approximately 8% a year. Each currently stands at $1.47 million. Under the rule of 72, I would expect Ms. Meiklejohn’s to double by the time it vests.

I can, if you think it useful, provide a trustee’s letter to Dr. Durkheim, outlining the terms of his wife’s trust and its current balance. I submit a letter annually to Probate Court; I can send him a copy. I can also include in the covering letter, if you like, a paragraph on the Vineyard property. I understand the other side keeps raising the matter of the Vineyard property. It might be helpful if they knew the terms limiting its use.

Let me know if you need anything else. It is my position that the terms of Bruce Meiklejohn’s will are irrelevant to any settlement talks.

TRAYNOR, HAND, WYZANSKI

222 CHURCH STREET
NEW SALEM, NARRAGANSETT 06555
(393) 876-5678

MEMORANDUM

Attorney Work Product

I’ve spoken to Proctor and examined Mrs. Meiklejohn’s trust. Proctor also wrote a brief memo, which I attach here. Some interesting additional facts: Mrs. Meiklejohn (4M) died in 1979; it took three years to settle her estate. There must have been a lot of other money and property. 3M’s “issue” is the residual beneficiaries of both trusts. If there are no children surviving, the money goes to Planned Parenthood of New Salem. (Proctor says 4M was on their board and helped underwrite the first abortion-rights case in Narragansett,
McMillan v. Bishop
, which pre-
Roe
upheld the right to abortion in Narragansett in the first 16 weeks.)

In the last 17 years, both trusts have grown considerably, the beneficiaries of early investment and a rising market. (Go Suze Orman; oh, for the courage to be rich.) By the time 3M’s vests, it may have reached $3 million. The annual statements have been sent to Bruce Meiklejohn, which probably explains 3M’s ignorance. In the event of Proctor’s death or retirement from the firm, William Frost is Proctor’s successor trustee. Frost’s successor trustee, should it come to that, is the then-managing partner of Traynor, Hand. If you live a very long time…

In light of this trust and the Vineyard house tenancy, we can be more flexible on the 401(k), etc., but not on the matter of alimony. 3M doesn’t need a retirement fund, but she does need money for the next seven years. No doubt Dr. D and Kahn will argue in favor of invading the trust now. I’ll do a quick survey of the law and find out what the standard for an “emergency” is. Proctor has offered to write a letter to Kahn. Kahn’s going to go ape with this. I can hear him now, accusing us of withholding important information that affects every part of the agreement.

Trust

Mia—

I’m following up on our conversation regarding your mother’s trust. I will be sending you overland a formal letter, giving the terms of the trust and also the restrictions on the Aquinnah property. You can show the letter to Daniel and see what he has to say. I think he was truly shocked by the DNA testing. (Caveat: he may not remember his horror, however, given the meeting’s second act.) If we can’t count on Daniel’s better nature in the negotiations, we can count on his political instincts. He has a reputation to maintain in this community, and roughing up Bruce Meiklejohn’s daughter and granddaughter will do him no good if it gets about, especially after he bankrupted the fireman. And on that score, word about that has got around. Peter Maple? Nothing Jason Peele did ever surprised anyone. That was the source of his great success. He’d do whatever was necessary to succeed, though I’m guessing he drew the line at violent felonies. I can’t imagine the person who would have married him, and yet you say she’s lovely. But I digress. Let me know how the conversation goes. You’re a brave woman.

Yours,
Sophie

TRAYNOR, HAND, WYZANSKI

222 CHURCH STREET
NEW SALEM, NARRAGANSETT 06555
(393) 876-5678
ATTORNEYS AT LAW

July 9, 1999

Mia Meiklejohn
404 St. Cloud Street
New Salem, NA 06556

Dear Mia:

I have two items for you to think about as we work on coming up with a settlement. The first regards the trust set up under your mother’s will. The second involves the property on Martha’s Vineyard.

As to the first item, I have spoken with Proctor Hand, who serves as Trustee of the Maria Maple Mather Meiklejohn Trust. He has provided the following report as of June 30, 1999. The trust in your name was set up in 1982 with $400,000. It will vest on your 50th birthday. It currently has approximately $1,470,000. At 8% interest (which it is averaging), it is likely to double by 2007. It can be invaded prior to vesting for “emergencies” but not for ordinary support (i.e., food, clothing, shelter, or education).

As to the second item, prior to her death, your mother donated 8 acres of the 13 she owned in Gay Head (now Aquinnah) to the Martha’s Vineyard Land Bank. These acres cannot be developed; they can be used for agricultural cultivation or pasture. The other 5 acres cannot be subdivided; there is a 3-acre lot minimum for houses in the area. While the 5 acres, with their views and protected farmlands, are valuable, they are not as valuable as your husband and his lawyer believe. The house, as I understand, is in serious disrepair and has no particular architectural value, being an ordinary, run-down 1840 Greek Revival farmhouse with less than 3,000 square feet, a damp 4-foot cellar, blocked chimneys, a kitchen last updated in the Depression, and no inside commodes. (Proctor said he
spent the most uncomfortable weekend of his life at that house. “As much as I loved Maria,” he said, “she could never get me up again. The outhouse was a completely uncharming feature.”)

As the benefits of both the trust and the house do not accrue to you in the near future, they should not figure in the settlement negotiations for child care and alimony.

You may wish to discuss this with your husband. I will also send a letter to Mr. Kahn.

Yours,

Anne Sophie Diehl

Stupendous

Dear Maggie—

What a wonderful weekend. You were fabulous. I didn’t know the play; I haven’t seen much Shaw (I saw the movie
My Fair Lady
on TV; not as good as
Seven Brides for Seven Brothers
, but then what is?), and I’m always confusing him with Wilde. But what a fabulous lark. I don’t think there’s anything you can’t do.

You won’t believe this: Maman and I ran into Papa yesterday at lunch on our way out of town. We were eating at the diner on the Pittsfield Road, and in he walked. He’d been to the play last night. Did he go backstage to see you? Did you hear from him? No, of course not. Stealth Diehl. He came right over to the table. “You saw her, didn’t you,” he said, without so much as a hug or even a hello. He was so pleased with you, so proud. He kept saying, “Isn’t she wonderful? Isn’t she brilliant?” We agreed. He was very charming to Maman. “How are you, Elisabeth?” he asked. “Still beautiful, I see.” She wasn’t having any of it. “And you, how are you, John, still … still …?” He laughed. “Yes, I’m afraid so.” And what I want to know, Maggie, is this: Can’t he see me, or does he simply find me uninteresting? He paid me no mind. Maman could have been sitting in the booth alone. I hadn’t seen him for months. It was enraging. “How are you, Papa?” I asked, too loudly. “I’m not dying,” he said, “if that’s the drift of your question.” He then smiled. “Well, of course, I’m going to die. It’s in my DNA, but not this year or next or even the one after that. I’m thinking 82. What do you say, Sophie girl?” He then sat down at the booth and talked about his cancer and his decision to watch and wait. Maman thought it a reasonable plan but added, nodding toward me, “I’m not sure our daughter agrees. We haven’t got that American need to do something.
I’ve never known an American man with your prognosis who hasn’t immediately signed up for surgery. Americans have no patience.” She stopped then, to make an editorial adjustment. “But with you,” she continued, looking at Papa, “with you, it’s not patience but some sort of balkiness …” She trailed off momentarily. “It’s the Hamlet part of your personality. Not to be confused with the Lear part.” He laughed. “Never waste an opportunity, Elisabeth, that’s what I say.” He then turned (finally!) to me and said he was going to come visit me in September. He asked if I would let him sit in on a motion or a trial I was doing. (He actually used the word
motion
—who thought he knew it? Could it be now and again he paid attention?) And then he patted my hand, got up, and went to sit at the counter. I know my father is a far better father than yours, but you must admit he has some pretty severe deficits. Maman, as if reading my mind, gave me a sharp look and said, “Sophie, he’s not going to change. He can’t. It all works too well for him. If you don’t let go, you’ll make yourself miserable.”

But wasn’t it just like him to go to see you and never say anything? I think I’m a little jealous. Maybe a lot. He’s so unabashedly proud of you. If you’d been sitting in the diner, he’d have noticed you.

All the men in my life are crapping out on me. Harry and I are kaput, well and truly. I didn’t want to say anything to you this weekend, but you must have seen it coming. We had dinner on Friday night, and I said I thought we’d reached the end of the line. He tried to look surprised and sad, but undiluted relief shone through. I’m not the right one for him. Monkey may not be the right person for him, but he wants someone more like her than like me, someone who takes him by the throat, someone like Melanie Griffith in
Something Wild
, or Zero Mostel in
The Producers
. It’s all right. He left his underpants on the floor.

You were great. You are great. I’ll try to get up for
Travesties
.

Love,
Sophie