The Drifter (12 page)

“T
HEY WANT US TO FLY TO
Seattle this weekend. All the investors are going to be in town and they’d like you to cook for them on Sunday night.”

“This weekend?” Eve sighed. After two days off, she’d put in a long night in the kitchen, a night filled with confusion over Charlie. The last thing she wanted to talk about was business. “I’m not ready. I need time to plan a menu.”

“Cook what you cook at the restaurant every day,” Lily said. “That’s what they’re looking for. They’ve got a restaurant booked and you can use their kitchen. You’re supposed to call with a list of supplies you’ll need. And we’ll shop when we get out there.” She paused. “And they want you to do at least a few seafood dishes.”

“Why? They know I’m a vegetarian chef.”

“They think the restaurant would be more popular if you at least had three or four fish and seafood dishes on the menu. It works for us here. And Seattle is a fish town.”

Eve shook her head. “If they really want me, then
they’ll take me the way I am.” Though Eve wanted to sound as if she were standing on principle, she knew that her argument had nothing to do with her beliefs as a cook. She wanted to spend every last day she could with Charlie.

“Eve, you can convince them of that
after
you cook for them,” Lily said. “Just give them a chance to get to know you.”

“The Garden Gate is about vegetarian cuisine. Our decision to serve fish and seafood was out of financial necessity. We always said we’d go back to strict vegetarian as soon as business was good. It’s been good for a couple years now and I say it’s time to change back.”

“What is wrong with you? I thought this was what you wanted,” Lily said. “These investors are interested in you. They believe in you.”

Eve sat down on a kitchen stool and buried her face in her hands. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled. “I’m just really tired. I haven’t been sleeping much.”

“Maybe if you came home and slept in your own bed, you wouldn’t be so tired.”

“It’s not because I’ve been having nonstop sex,” Eve explained. “Well, I actually have, but that’s not why I’m tired.”

“Would you care to share? Or am I supposed to guess?” Lily said after a long silence.

“Charlie is talking about staying in Boulder. Indefinitely. In fact, he made a business proposal to
me earlier today. And it’s actually something pretty intriguing.” She shook her head. “I don’t know why I’m even considering these feelings I have.”

“Maybe because you’d like to believe there is a man out there who is absolutely perfect for you? And that man is Charlie?”

“How am I supposed to know?”

“Well, maybe you can’t,” Lily said. “Not after just a week or two. You need more time.”

“He seems to know exactly how he feels.”

Lily held up her hand. “Wait a second. This sounds like a discussion that would be best paired with a nice pinot noir.”

“Make it a cabernet,” Eve said. “The good stuff. That Whitehill reserve. And bring the whole bottle.”

Lily disappeared into the dining room and a few seconds later returned empty-handed.

“What? We can’t be out of Whitehill,” Eve said. “We had a whole case last week.”

“You have a visitor,” Lily said.

“Charlie?”

Lily shook her head. “Matt. He said it’s important. He said he’ll only take a few minutes of your time.”

“I don’t want to talk to him,” Eve said. “Tell him he can call my lawyer if he has anything to say.”

“I don’t think he’ll leave unless you talk to him,” Lily said.

Eve stood up, shoving the stool back across the tile floor. She stalked out of the kitchen, the door swinging closed behind her. Glancing back, she saw Lily peering out of the small window and she waved her off. When Eve reached the bar area, she found Matt sitting alone, nursing a beer.

Eve met Kenny’s gaze and smiled at the bartender. “Can you give us a few minutes?” she asked. “Maybe you could start going through the wine order and get that ready for tomorrow?”

“Sure, boss,” Kenny said. He wiped his wet hands on a towel, then walked back to the kitchen.

“What do you want?”

Matt looked up at her and pasted a weak smile on his face. “Hello, Eve.”

She pointed a finger at him. “I’m not going to discuss the divorce settlement with you. Talk to my lawyer.”

“That’s not what this is about.” He pointed to the stool next to his. “Sit. I just have to say a few things and then, if you like, I’ll get out of your life for good.”

He seemed so defeated, his usual arrogance completely drained. Curious, Eve sat down, leaving a single barstool as a buffer between them. “Go ahead.”

“I want you to know that I love you, Eve.”

Eve jumped up. “What is this? Is there something in the water? Suddenly, everyone loves me. I’ve been hearing it all day long. Just a few weeks ago, I was
wondering if I’d ever be with anyone ever again. Now men are falling at my feet.”

“Men?”

“Yes,” Eve said sarcastically. “Men. Hundreds of them.”

“I guess I can see why,” Matt murmured. “They can see what I was too stupid to notice. What a great woman you are.”

“Oh, please. Just tell me how much money you want and get it over with. I have a bottle of wine to drink and a cheesecake to eat.”

“I—I didn’t come here for money.”

“That’s not what you were saying the last time we talked. You were ready to renegotiate the divorce settlement.”

“I just came to see—I mean, I was hoping you’d—I wanted to let you know that if there was any chance for us, you know, to fix the past—to get back together and try again—then I’d like to do that.”

Eve couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “No, there’s no chance of that. Why would you even ask?”

“I just wanted to make sure,” Matt said. “Cause I’m—I guess I’m getting married again.”

“All right,” Eve said, standing up and pressing her palms on the bar. “This is just too weird. You need to leave.”

“No, it’s true,” Matt said. “This girl I’ve been dating just told me she’s pregnant. And the baby is mine.
When she told me, I kind of freaked out. I mean, it’s a lot to take in. And the expense is…” His voice trailed off. “Now that it’s really over with us, I guess I’m going to marry her instead.”

“So she’s getting you by default?” Eve slowly sat back down. “Matt, listen to me. Listen very carefully. If you don’t love her, then don’t pretend you do. Don’t make her believe something that isn’t true. Work hard and give her money to help raise your child, be a good father, but don’t make her think you’ll ever love her if you won’t.”

“You don’t think I could love her?”

“Men don’t change. She might not know about all the things that messed up our marriage and maybe that won’t make a difference, but—”

“Actually, she does,” Matt said. “I kind of dated her while we were married. And then, a few months ago, we hooked up again and one thing led to another and here I am. About to become a dad.” His hand shook as he picked up his beer glass. He took a long swallow. “I don’t know what to do. I think I really screwed up this time.”

“You really want my advice?” Eve asked.

“I do,” he replied.

“Be a man,” she said softly. Even after all this time and all that had passed between them, she felt a bit sorry for Matt. She felt a whole lot worse for the woman who was carrying his child and for the child itself, who’d grow up with a jerk for a father. Still,
there was no reason to make him feel worse than he already did. “You can change. You can be the best father ever.”

“No,” he murmured.

She reached out and covered his hand with hers. “You can. It’ll be hard work and sometimes you’ll want to walk away. But you’re going to be a father and raising this child is going to be the most important thing you ever do in your life. You need to do it right.”

He smiled wanly. “My dad was never around. And when he was, he and my mom were always fighting. I used to tell myself I’d do a much better job once I became a father.”

“Then prove it,” Eve said.

“You really think I can change?” he asked, his expression filled with disbelief.

“Absolutely,” Eve said. Though it might have been the biggest lie she ever told in her life, Eve knew she’d done the right thing.

Her words seemed to give him courage. He drained the rest of his glass, then stood up. “I can. I’m going to go talk to her right now. Get this all figured out. And when that baby comes, I’m going to be a good dad.”

She watched him walk out the front door. He turned and waved at her and Eve sent him an encouraging smile. When he was gone, she walked to
the end of the bar and pulled a bottle of the reserve Cabernet from the tall wooden wine rack.

She quickly opened it and poured a glass, then sat down at the bar and took a sip. Eve couldn’t help but wonder why she’d encouraged Matt. Did she really believe a man could change?

Throughout her parents’ marriage, her father had never changed. Eve wasn’t sure he’d ever wanted to. He enjoyed his life exactly the way it was, with all the petty dramas and imagined passions. Her mother had chosen to put up with it—and still did for all Eve knew.

But when those same problems had haunted her own marriage, Eve had stood up and taken a stand. It wasn’t out of courage that she’d walked away from her first marriage. It was out of fear. Fear that she’d become her mother—a woman who was willing to put her own emotions aside just to keep her marriage intact.

Maybe that’s why Eve worked so hard at her career. She’d never have to depend upon a man to take care of her, to be the center of her life. If she was going to love a man, and trust him with her whole soul, he had to be someone who could tolerate her independent streak.

Was Charlie that man? “Probably,” Eve murmured. He liked her exactly the way she was.

In the short time they’d been together again, Eve had been forced to admit that he was different from
the man she’d known five years ago. And she was a different woman. But was she willing to risk her heart one more time? Did she have the strength to stick with it, to weather the bad times without bailing yet again?

Maybe she could have made her marriage to Matt work. She hadn’t really tried to save it once she found out about his cheating. They might have been happy, had he agreed to give up the other women. But Eve doubted they ever would have found the kind of passion she shared with Charlie. It just hadn’t been there with Matt.

It just wasn’t in her nature to trust easily. She wanted to love Charlie, or at least believe that love was possible. And yet, she knew the more time she invested in him, the harder it would be to let him go. She already felt something deeper for him than she’d ever felt for another man. And they’d been together two weeks.

“Are you all right?”

The sound of Lily’s voice startled her and Eve turned as her friend sat down beside her. “Yes,” she murmured, forcing a smile. “I’m fine.”

“What did he want?”

“He wanted to tell me he’s going to be a father,” Eve said.

“Matt?”

“Yes,” Eve said. She sighed softly. “And I wished
him well.” Pushing away from the bar, Eve stood. “I have to go. Can you close up for me?”

“Sure. Listen, why don’t we just leave everything for tomorrow morning? We’ll go get a drink somewhere. Have some fun.”

“I have something to do,” Eve said. “Maybe another time.” She slipped out of her chef’s coat and draped it over the back of a stool, then gave Lily a clumsy hug.

“What is it?” Lily asked, staring at Eve’s somber expression.

“I think I might be in love.” Eve drew a ragged breath. “Or maybe I am in love. I’m not sure. But I have to figure out what to do about it.” She grabbed the open bottle of wine and walked out the front door.

T
HE NIGHT WAS SILENT
all around him. In the distance the sound of a car horn could be heard and then, silence again. Charlie sat on the porch of his house, a beer in his hand, his feet kicked up on the railing.

He used to love the silence of the outdoors—a thick forest, a desolate mountaintop, a remote beach. No human sounds except for the gentle rhythm of his breathing.

But that had changed. Now, he craved the sound of her voice, her laugh, her footsteps on his front porch. Charlie loved the way she hummed in the morning while making coffee for him or the awful songs she sang in the shower. With every sound Eve made, it reminded him that she was his—at least for the moment.

Since their argument earlier in the day, Charlie had considered calling her at least once every five
minutes. But he’d decided to wait, to see if she followed form and showed up at his house after work. He glanced at his watch. She was already an hour overdue.

He cursed softly, then swung his legs down from the railing. If he wasn’t so determined to force her to make the next move, he’d go down to the restaurant, walk into her kitchen and kiss some sense into her. What was she so damned afraid of?

Maybe things wouldn’t work out between them. Maybe they were just fooling themselves. But they wouldn’t know unless they tried and she was too scared to even make an attempt. Either her marriage must have done a real number on her confidence or there was something else at work here.

He stood and walked over to the porch swing. His ankle was still a bit sore but on the mend. The doctor had diagnosed a bad sprain, but could find no permanent damage. Though Charlie had been searching for reasons not to go to Nepal, his ankle wouldn’t be one of them.

He stretched out on the cushioned seat and closed his eyes, letting images of Eve drift through his mind. Though they’d been physically intimate from the start, they still didn’t know each other emotionally. He could tell by the look in her eyes how she was feeling at any given moment. But he couldn’t always tell why.

They hadn’t spent much of their time talking about
their pasts. He didn’t know much about her family, only that her parents lived in Arizona, her father loved to golf, her mother taught her to cook, and she was an only child. That wasn’t much—not for two people who loved each other.

He already knew she loved clover honey in her chamomile tea and that she preferred pinot noir over merlot. That she loved every kind of bean except lima beans. That the only thing she wanted after a long day of work was a foot massage. That was a helluva lot more than he knew about her five years ago.

The sound of footsteps on the front walk caught his attention and he held his breath. A moment later, Charlie saw her standing in front of the door. She reached out to knock, then decided to grab the key from its spot behind the mailbox.

“It’s unlocked,” he said.

She jumped at the sound of his voice, spinning around to face him. “You scared me!”

Charlie pushed to his feet. “Sorry.” Slowly, he approached her, trying to read her expression in the feeble light from the street lamps. “Sorry,” he repeated. “I am sorry.”

“I know. You said that.”

“I meant for earlier. The fight we had. I’m sorry.”

“It wasn’t a fight,” Eve said. “More like a disagreement. We can’t possibly get along every moment of every day, can we?”

Charlie shook his head and took another step closer. One more step and their bodies touched. He reached down and slipped his arm around her waist, pulling her close. He brushed his lips over hers in a teasing, fleeting kiss, daring her to ask for more. But she just stared up into his eyes.

“Are you going to Nepal?” she asked.

“Not right this minute,” he replied with a grin.

“Are you going next week?”

Charlie knew the job was something he ought to take. And at any other time in his life, he would have jumped at it. So why was he waffling now? Because he finally had a reason to stay in one place for a while—and that reason was standing right in front of him. “Do you want me to go?”

Eve hesitated for a moment, then nodded. “I think it’s a wonderful opportunity. And when either of us has a wonderful opportunity, we should take it. We were apart for five years and look at what happened when we got back together. I think we could probably stand to be apart for a few months.”

Charlie studied her for a long moment. She was absolutely right. Though he wanted her to beg him to stay, he knew it wasn’t in her nature to make demands on him. Maybe that was part of why he loved her—because she didn’t force him to be anyone but himself. “You’re right. The job is too good to turn down.” He paused. “I should go to Nepal,” Charlie said. “Next week. But right now, I’m going to bed.”
He stepped away from her and walked to the door. “Are you coming?” She hesitated for a few seconds, then followed him. Charlie took her hand and drew her inside.

The moment the door closed, they began to shed their clothes, tossing them on the floor at their feet. They were naked before they got through the living room and Charlie pressed her back against the wall, her body warm against his.

He searched her mouth for some reassurance that their argument had been forgotten, but he didn’t find it there. Instead, he found it in her response to his caress. He slid down her body, finding her nipple and drawing it to a peak with his tongue. She moaned softly and he felt her surrender, her body going soft and pliant beneath his touch.

He moved back up to kiss her again, his fingers slipping between her legs and gently teasing at her desire. She reached out to touch him but the moment she did, Charlie had to stop her. He was so close to the edge already. One perfect caress might send him over.

Yet she wouldn’t be denied the pleasure of touching him. She began slowly, knowing exactly how to delay his release. They knew each other’s bodies so well already. But Charlie wanted more.

When he felt her rising toward her orgasm, he picked her up and wrapped her legs around his waist. A stab of pain shot up his leg from his sore ankle, but
Charlie ignored it, focusing on the exquisite anticipation of their joining.

He drew her down on his shaft in one smooth motion. It happened so quickly, so easily, that she gasped in surprise. And then, as if she couldn’t help herself, Eve dissolved into the sweet spasms of her orgasm.

Though Charlie tried to hold back, the sound of her moans made it impossible. He drew back, then drove into her, pressing her against the wall, his hands clutching at her backside. Wave after wave of pleasure washed over him as he lost himself in the heat of her body. His legs suddenly went weak and his ankle began to throb. It was all he could do to keep them both upright.

When the sensations finally subsided, he carried her into his bedroom and gently laid her on the bed, bracing himself above her. He was still hard and he teased her a bit more, slowly sliding in and out of her. At first, she wriggled beneath him, trying to stop him. But then, gradually, he felt her reactions change.

This time Charlie didn’t rush. Instead, they played at lovemaking for a long time. The frantic connection they made against the wall had been purely for physical release. But this was for something more than raw desire. This was affection and trust. And love.

When he brought her to completion again, Charlie
kissed her as she tumbled over the edge, her moans swallowed by his mouth covering hers. She did love him. He could feel it in the way she surrendered, the sound of her voice as she said his name.

Charlie had never been a patient man when it came to the opposite sex. He’d indulged his desires more often than he should have, seeking pleasure that was both immediate and intense. But this was different. With Eve, he felt as if they were moving toward something much bigger and better than the next great orgasm.

He pushed up and looked into her pretty face. Eve smiled and Charlie chuckled. “Yeah, I know.

We solve all our problems with sex.”

“I guess it works,” Eve said.

“Then you’re not angry with me?”

“No,” Eve said.

“Maybe we should try talking about it?” Charlie said. That’s what two people were supposed to do if they had a disagreement. It seemed like a logical suggestion.

Eve groaned. “No. I just want to curl up beside you, close my eyes and sleep for the next twelve hours.”

Charlie stood, then drew the covers back. When she’d crawled beneath them, he joined her, pulling her naked body into the curve of his. Resting his chin on her shoulder, he drew a deep breath, then let it out
slowly. If there was a perfect spot in all the world, this would have to be it.

Forget mountaintops or beaches or rainforests, forget deserts or canyons or the open ocean. Here, in his bed, with Eve in his arms, he was home. And home was the most perfect place he could imagine.

E
VE YAWNED
as she scooped freshly ground coffee into the filter basket. She pushed the basket in then flipped the switch, waiting for the coffee to begin trickling into the mug she’d set where the pot belonged.

Charlie was still sound asleep—last night completely exhausted him. But even though Eve wanted to sleep, she couldn’t. All night, her mind had whirled with confusion. She’d come to Charlie’s house to tell him that she wanted a future with him. But in the end, she couldn’t bring herself to do anything but tear off her clothes and allow him to seduce her.

What did that say about the depth of her feelings? That instead of honest conversation, they always resorted to sex? She’d talk to him this morning and clear the air. In between fitful bouts of sleep, she’d managed to formulate a plan, one that didn’t put her heart at risk but offered the chance at a real relationship.

Eve grabbed the mug when it was nearly full, then shoved the pot beneath the stream of coffee. She dumped a spoonful of sugar into the mug, then
added milk, preparing it exactly the way Charlie preferred.

She grabbed a peanut butter cookie from the jar on the counter and stuck it in her mouth, then walked back to the bedroom. Charlie hadn’t moved since she’d left him, his naked body tangled in the sheets, a long, muscular leg hanging off the edge of the bed.

Eve sat down, then gently shook his shoulder. He moaned softly, then opened his eyes and stared up at her. “Are you really waking me up?” he murmured.

“I am,” she said, taking the cookie from her mouth. “I need to talk to you.”

“Is that coffee for me?”

Eve nodded. “The cookie, too.”

“Cookies for breakfast?” He pushed up on his elbow and took the coffee mug from her hand. “What would the food police say?”

“Since these cookies aren’t made with refined sugar, the food police would give you a pass. They’re better than a lot of other breakfast choices.”

Charlie took a bite of the cookie and grinned sleepily. “Maybe this is why the sex is so good. I’ve been eating nutritious meals. Just think of how good it could be if I started eating tofu. I could go all night long.”

Eve laughed. “No tofu for you. I have to sleep sometime.”

He set the mug down on the bedside table, then
reached out and ran his finger beneath her eye. “You look tired. I shouldn’t keep you up so late. Tonight, I promise, we’ll go to bed as soon as you get home from the restaurant. And we’ll go to sleep.”

“I’m all right,” Eve said. “I was up last night thinking…about us.”

“Why don’t I like the sound of that?” Charlie said, his expression shifting from playful to concerned.

“I’ve made some decisions. About us.” She paused for moment to collect her thoughts, then shook her head. “No, I should explain first.”

“Explain what?”

“I haven’t told you much about my family. In fact, we haven’t spent a lot of time talking about the details of our lives.”

“We have time for that,” Charlie said.

“Now is the time. I want to tell you about my parents’ marriage. And maybe you’ll understand why this is so difficult for me.” Eve tucked her legs beneath the T-shirt she wore, resting her chin on her knees, her arms wrapped around her shins. “My father was a philanderer. He used to cheat on my mother all the time. Maybe he still does, I don’t know. For a long time, she didn’t know. Even after I found out, she still didn’t know. My father used to take me out to the park on Saturday mornings and I’d play on the swings while he’d sit on a park bench with some woman, having coffee. At first, I thought she was
just some mom at the playground with her kids. But then, I realized that she was there to meet him.”

Charlie reached out and smoothed his palm over her shoulder. “Eve, I’m sorry.”

“Once I’d figured it out, my father just assumed I’d help him keep his secrets. Which I did, because I was afraid if I told my mother, she’d want to divorce him. And even though he was doing this, I still loved him. By the time I was ten, I was helping to hide the evidence. I’d go into his coat pockets and pick out the credit card receipts before my mother found them. I’d throw out the matchbooks from the bars and phone numbers scribbled on scraps of paper. Then one day, my mother caught me doing this and I thought it was all over.”

“What happened?”

“I think it was the first time she knew for sure. She might have suspected, but at that point, she knew. She told me not to mention this to my father and to go on as if nothing was wrong. And I did.”

“For how long?”

“I was an active enabler until I was thirteen. I begged my father to stop seeing other women, we got in a huge fight, and after that, he stopped for a while. But then it all started again and I did what my mother did. I looked the other way.”

“And when your husband cheated on you?”

“I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t ignore it. Nor could I ever trust him again.”

“And you can’t trust me, can you?”

She turned her gaze away, staring out the window. “I want to. I really do. You don’t know how much.” Eve turned back to him, gathering her resolve. Though she might be taking the biggest risk in her life, Eve was ready to open her heart to him. “I need time. We need time. You seem to know exactly how you feel, but I can’t trust how I feel.”