The Drowning (39 page)

‘But we have to talk about it sometime,’ said Magnus. There was something pleading, almost vulnerable in his voice that made the hairs on Patrik’s arms stand on end.

‘Who says we have to? What’s done is done.’

‘But I don’t know how we can live with it. For God’s sake, we have to …’ The rest of the sentence disappeared in an inaudible mumble.

Then Kenneth spoke again. Now he sounded annoyed. But there was something else in his voice. Fear.

‘Pull yourself together, Magnus! It won’t do any good to talk about it. Think of Cia and the children. And Lisbet.’

‘I know, but what the hell should I do? Sometimes I can’t help thinking about it, and then in here it feels like …’ It was too dark to see what he was pointing at.

After that it was impossible to make out any more of the conversation. They lowered their voices, mumbling their words, and then went back to join the others. Ludvig pressed the pause button and froze the image of two shadowy figures, seen from the back.

‘Did your father ever see this?’ asked Patrik.

‘No, I kept it to myself. Usually he was the one in charge of the videocassettes, but I shot this one on the sly, so I hid it in my room. I have a few more in the wardrobe.’

‘And you’ve never seen this before?’ Paula sat down next to Cia, who was staring at the TV, her mouth agape.

‘No,’ she said. ‘No.’

‘Do you know what they were talking about?’ asked Paula, placing her hand on Cia’s.

‘I … no.’ Her eyes were fixed on the dark figures of Magnus and Kenneth. ‘I have no idea.’

Patrik believed her. Whatever it was that Magnus was talking about, he had kept it well hidden from his wife.

‘Kenneth must know,’ said Ludvig. He pressed the stop button, took out the cassette, and placed it back in its holder.

‘I’d like to borrow that,’ said Patrik.

Ludvig hesitated for a moment before he put the cassette in Patrik’s outstretched hand.

‘You won’t wreck it, will you?’

‘I promise that we’ll take good care of it. And you’ll get it back in the same shape it’s in right now.’

‘Are you going to talk to Kenneth about it?’ asked Ludvig, and Patrik nodded.

‘Yes, we are.’

‘Why hasn’t he mentioned anything about this before?’ Cia sounded confused.

‘That’s what we’d like to know too.’ Paula patted her hand again. ‘And we’re going to find out.’

‘Thank you, Ludvig,’ said Patrik, holding up the cassette. ‘This might turn out to be important.’

‘You’re welcome. I just happened to think of it because you asked if they’d ever quarrelled.’ He blushed to the roots of his hair.

‘Shall we go?’ Patrik said to Paula, who stood up. To Ludvig he added in a low voice, ‘Take care of your mother. Call me if you need anything.’ And he pressed his business card into the boy’s hand.

Ludvig stood in the doorway, watching the police officers drive away. Then he closed the door and went inside.

Time passed slowly in the hospital. The TV was on, showing an American soap opera. The nurse had come in and asked Kenneth if he’d like her to change the channel. But when he didn’t answer, she had left.

The loneliness was worse than he’d ever imagined. His grief was so great that the only thing he could manage was to focus on his breathing.

And he knew that she would come. She had waited a long time, and now there was nowhere to run to. But he wasn’t afraid; he welcomed her appearance. It would rescue him from the loneliness and the sorrow that were tearing him apart. He wanted to go to Lisbet so he could explain what had happened. He hoped she would understand that he had been a different person back then, and it was because of her that he had changed. He couldn’t bear the thought that she had died with his sins before her eyes. That weighed on him more than anything else, making each breath an effort.

He heard a knock on the door, and Patrik Hedström, the police officer, came into his field of vision. Behind him was a short, dark-haired female colleague.

‘Hi, Kenneth. How are you feeling?’ The officer had a serious expression on his face. He went to get two chairs and brought them over to the bed.

Kenneth didn’t reply. He just kept looking at the TV. The actors were performing in front of a background of poorly constructed stage sets. Patrik repeated his
question, and finally Kenneth turned his head towards his visitors.

‘I’ve felt better.’ What was he supposed to say? How could he describe what it really felt like? How it burned and stung inside of him, how it felt like his heart was about to burst? Any answer would sound like a cliché.

‘Our colleagues have already been here to see you today. You met with Gösta and Martin earlier.’ Kenneth saw Patrik glancing at his bandages, as if trying to imagine what it must have felt like to have hundreds of glass shards piercing his skin.

‘Right,’ said Kenneth listlessly. He hadn’t said anything then, and he wasn’t going to say anything now. He was just going to wait. For her.

‘You told them that you didn’t know who could be behind what happened this morning.’ Patrik looked at him, and Kenneth stubbornly met his gaze.

‘That’s right.’

The police officer cleared his throat. ‘We don’t think you’re telling the truth.’

What had they found out? Suddenly Kenneth panicked. He didn’t want them to know, didn’t want them to find her. She had to finish what she’d begun. That was his only salvation. If he paid the price for what he’d done, he would be able to explain it to Lisbet.

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’ He looked away, but he knew they’d seen the fear in his eyes. Both of the officers had noticed. They took it as a sign of weakness, as an opportunity to get at him. They were mistaken. He had everything to win and nothing to lose by keeping silent. For a moment he thought about Erik and Christian. Above all, Christian. He’d been dragged into this even though he was not to blame. Not like Erik. But he couldn’t take the others into consideration. Lisbet was the only one who mattered.

‘We’ve just paid a visit to Cia. We saw a video that was taken at a Midsummer party at their house.’ Patrik seemed to be expecting a reaction, but Kenneth had no idea what he was talking about. His old life, with parties and friends, now seemed so far away.

‘Magnus was drunk, and the two of you slipped away to have a smoke. It seemed that you wanted to make sure no one could hear you.’

He still didn’t understand what Patrik was getting at. Everything was a hazy blur. Nothing was distinct or clear any more.

‘Magnus’s son, Ludvig, filmed the two of you without your knowledge. Magnus was upset. He wanted to talk to you about something that had happened. You got annoyed with him and said that what was done was done. You told him to think about his family. Do you remember any of this?’

Oh yes, Kenneth did remember. It was still a bit vague, but he recalled how he had felt when he saw the panic in Magnus’s eyes. He could never work out why the topic had come up on that particular evening. Magnus had been aching to talk about it, to make amends. And that had scared him. He had thought about Lisbet, about what she would say, how she would look at him. Finally he’d been able to calm Magnus down – that much he remembered. But from that moment on, he had expected something to happen that would make everything crack wide open. And that’s exactly what had happened, only not in the way he’d imagined. Because even in the worst possible scenarios he had pictured in his mind, Lisbet had still been alive to reproach him. Leaving always a slim chance that he’d be able to explain. Now things were different, and justice would have to be done for him to be able to explain. He couldn’t let the police ruin his chances.

So he shook his head, pretending that he was trying to recall.

‘No, I don’t remember that.’

‘We can arrange for you to watch the tape, if that might jog your memory,’ said Paula.

‘Sure, I can look at it. But I can’t imagine that it was anything important, or I would have remembered. It was probably just drunken rambling. Magnus got like that once in a while when he was drinking. Melodramatic and sentimental. Trivial matters got blown all out of proportion.’

He could see that they didn’t believe him, but it didn’t matter because they couldn’t read his mind. The secret would come out sooner or later – he knew that too. The police wouldn’t give up until they found out everything. But that didn’t have to happen until she came to give him what he deserved.

The officers stayed a little while longer, but it was easy to fend off their questions. He wasn’t about to do their job for them; he had to think of himself and Lisbet. Erik and Christian would have to manage on their own as best they could.

Before leaving, Patrik looked at him kindly and said, ‘We also wanted to tell you that we received the report from Lisbet’s post-mortem. She wasn’t murdered. She died of natural causes.’

Kenneth turned his face away. He knew that they were wrong.

Patrik was on the verge of falling asleep as they headed back to Uddevalla. For a moment his eyes actually fell shut and he drove into the oncoming lane.

‘What are you doing!’ cried Paula, grabbing the wheel to steer the car back where it belonged.

Patrik gave a start and gasped.

‘Bloody hell! I don’t know what’s going on. I’m just so tired.’

Paula looked at him with concern. ‘Okay, let’s head over to your house, and I’ll drop you off there. And tomorrow you need to stay home. You don’t look well.’

‘I can’t do that. I’ve got lots of things to do.’ He blinked his eyes, trying to focus on the road.

‘All right, here’s what we’re going to do right now,’ said Paula firmly. ‘Turn in at the next petrol station and we’ll change places. I’ll drive you home, and then I’ll go to the office and pick up all the materials you need and bring them back to Fjällbacka. I’ll also make sure the videocassette is sent to the lab for analysis. But you have to promise to take it easy. You’ve been working too much, and I’m sure it’s been tough at home too. I know how hard it was for Johanna when she was expecting Leo, and I’m sure you’re having to carry an extra heavy load right now.’

Patrik nodded reluctantly and did as she said. He turned in at the petrol station at the Hogstorp exit and got out of the car. He was simply too worn out to argue. It was actually impossible for him to take a day off, or even a couple of hours, but his body refused to cooperate. If he could just get some rest and have time to go through all the documentation, maybe he’d regain some of the energy he needed to proceed with the investigation.

Patrik leaned his head against the window on the passenger side and had almost dozed off even before Paula pulled out on to the motorway. When he opened his eyes, they were parked in front of his house. Feeling groggy, he climbed out.

‘Go on in and lie down. I’ll be back in an hour. Don’t lock the door, so I can leave the papers for you inside,’ said Paula.

‘Okay. Thanks.’ That was all he could manage to say.

Patrik opened the door and went in.

‘Erica!’

No answer. He had phoned her in the afternoon, but hadn’t been able to get hold of her. Maybe she’d gone over to Anna’s house and had ended up staying a while. For safety’s sake, he decided to leave her a note on the bureau in the front hall, just so she wouldn’t get scared if she came home and heard somebody in the house. Then he walked numbly up the stairs and fell into bed. He was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. But it was not a deep or restful sleep.

Something was about to change. Louise couldn’t say that she liked her life as it had been over the past few years, but at least it was familiar. With the coldness, the indifference, the exchange of caustic and well-rehearsed remarks.

Now she could feel the ground under her feet starting to shake, and the cracks were getting wider. During their last argument, she saw a sense of finality in Erik’s eyes. His disdain wasn’t new, and it no longer really affected her, but this time something was different. And it scared her more than she’d ever imagined was possible. Because deep in her heart she had always believed that they would continue to dance this dance of death with ever greater elegance.

He had reacted strangely when she mentioned Cecilia. Usually he didn’t care if she talked about his mistresses. He just pretended not to hear her. Why had he become so angry this morning? Was it a sign that Cecilia actually meant something to him?

Louise drained her glass. She was already having a hard time gathering her thoughts. Everything was wrapped in a pleasant woolliness, in the warmth spreading through her limbs. She poured herself more wine, looking out of
the window across the ice that embraced the islands, while her hand as if of its own accord raised the glass to her lips.

She had to find out what was going on. Whether the cracks beneath her feet were real or imagined. But one thing she knew for sure. If the dance was about to end, it wouldn’t happen with a quiet pirouette. She was planning to dance with stomping feet and flailing arms until there were only crumbs left of their marriage. She didn’t want him, but that didn’t mean she was planning to let him go.

Maja had not come away without protest when Erica went to pick her up at Anna’s house. She was having too much fun playing with her cousins to want to go home willingly. But after a little negotiating, Erica managed to get her daughter into her outdoor garments and settled in the car. She thought it was a bit odd that she hadn’t heard from Patrik, but she hadn’t taken the time to phone him either. She hadn’t yet worked out how she was going to explain her expedition to Göteborg. But she was going to have to say something, because she needed to hand over the drawings to Patrik at once. Something told her that they were important, and that the police should see them. Above all, they needed to talk to Christian about the pictures. She had to admit that she was actually eager to do that herself, but she knew that she’d already gone too far by making the trip to Göteborg. She couldn’t go behind Patrik’s back again.

As she pulled into the drive in front of their house, she saw in the rear-view mirror that a police car was not far behind. That must be Patrik, she thought. But why wasn’t he driving his own car? She lifted Maja out of the car seat as she cast a glance at the vehicle that drove up and parked nearby. She was surprised to see Paula behind the wheel instead of Patrik.