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Authors: Fenella J Miller

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Edward reined
in. She urged her horse up behind him. A dark figure separated from the others
and rode towards them.

‘Is that you,
Edward? What in the name of God are you doing prowling about at this time of
night?’

Icy tremors shot
down her spine at the sound of the all too familiar voice. Edward, however,
relaxed. He believed he was facing a quite different man to the reality.

‘Sir Theodore?
Cutting up a lark with the excise men? I’ve been visiting in Great Bentley -
the parents are out you know.’ It worked. A young man would use such an
opportunity to get up to mischief.

Theo chuckled.
‘Then you have left your return a tad late, my boy. Lord and Lady Grierson
arrived back some time ago. I suggest you keep your head low. Goodnight to
you.’

All would have
been well if Sultan had not greeted Lucifer as they rode past. Instantly
suspicious Theo swung his horse across, blocking their escape. He leaned
forward and Marianne heard his sharp intake of breath but he said nothing,
pulling his mount aside to let them trot on.

Neither spoke
until the horses were turned out and the tack replaced where it should be.

‘I’m sorry,
Marianne, but Sir Theodore recognized you.’ He was stating the obvious.

‘Please, don’t
remind me, Edward. For all his easy-going appearance my guardian is a stickler
for the proprieties. He will rouse himself to ring a fine peal over us
tomorrow.’

‘Surely not?’
Edward allowed this unpleasant news to sink in. ‘He will tell my father?’ She nodded.
‘Then there will be hell to pay in the morning. Thank God tonight was almost
the end of it.’

‘Almost? I
thought you said it was finished, that this was the last delivery?’

He patted his
waistcoat. ‘It was, but remember I have these letters to deliver on the first,
when the boat comes. Then it will be done.’

The side door
was open and they slipped in and returned to their respective chambers.
Marianne hastily removed her disguise, bitterly regretting her stupidity. She
should not have ridden Sultan— a huge grey gelding was too distinctive. If she
had taken any other horse they might have got away with it.

She bundled the
boy’s garments into the bag they had come in then pushed them into the back of
her closet. She blew out the single candle and climbed into bed. Even the sweet
song of the nightingales had begun to pall when dawn’s pale light arrived.

Jane,
came with her morning chocolate at eight o’clock.
‘Good heavens, miss, you startled me, sitting in the window like that. Have you
been awake long?’

‘I couldn’t
sleep.’ She paused, considering, before continuing. ‘I’ve something shocking to
tell you Jane. It will be your job to tell John when he returns for I’m too
ashamed to do so myself.’

The jug or
chocolate slopped over the edge as Jane set down the tray. ‘Whatever have you
been up to, miss? What have you done that’s so bad? Had I better sit to hear
this?’

Jane and John
Smith had been like parents to her all her life and she both loved and
respected them and told them everything. ‘Edward and Charles have been helping
the smugglers. The money they earned each month has kept this household from
ruin for the best part of two years. With Charles
laid
up I had to assist Edward last night and on my return Cousin Theo recognized
me.’

‘Not with
contraband?’

‘No, thank God,
we were on our way home when we met the excise men. For some reason he was out
with them otherwise all would have been well.’

‘I can hardly
believe what you’ve told me. A few weeks ago you wouldn’t have considered doing
such a rash thing. Your name’s not the only thing you’ve changed.’

‘I can’t
understand myself. It’s as though my life at Upton Manor never existed. It’s
extraordinary but I feel I’ve lived here and been part of this family for
ever.’

Jane sniffed.
‘That’s as maybe, miss, but it doesn’t excuse last night’s behaviour. What were
you thinking of, to draw attention to yourself in such a way? You were sent
here to avoid scandal not become a smuggler.’

Marianne smiled.
‘Hardly that, Jane. If I hadn’t helped, Edward and Charles would have been
exposed and the whole family brought to ruin. I could not refuse in those
circumstances, could I?’

‘I suppose not.
What will happen now? Did the customs men recognize you?’

‘No, only Cousin
Theo did, but he said nothing. I’m certain none of them connected us with
anything illegal. We were merely two young men returning from a jaunt
somewhere.’

‘Then all may
yet be well. You can sweet talk Sir Theodore, he’ll not stay cross for long -
it might spoil the cut of his jacket.’

Marianne’s smile
was false. ‘But he might inform Lord Grierson and Edward will be in hot water
too.’

‘Serves him
right. But Lord Grierson is a fair-minded man, he’ll not deal harshly with his
boy. After all, taking a midnight ride is not such terrible thing, is it?’

Marianne swallowed.
‘Not for him, but if Sir Theodore tells Lord Grierson that he took me along I
shudder to think what will happen. Is Edward too old for a beating?’

‘Good heavens,
yes, he’s as tall as Lord Grierson, a fully grown man almost. Don’t fret, it’s
not so bad. I expect you will soon be laughing about all this.’

 

Later Edward
appeared at her parlour dressed smartly for a change. ‘I have had a summons to
Bentley Hall. I expect I’ll get a bear garden jaw but nothing worse - just
remember we went out for a ride nothing more and we’ll come about safely.’

As he departed
he reached into his pocket and handed her a note. She recognised the black
scrawl instantly. With shaking hands she opened the paper and discovered that
her guardian was sending his carriage to collect her at ten o’clock.

After an hour of
nervous pacing, the time had come to leave. Jane had persuaded her to wear her
most fetching outfit, a pale gold sprigged muslin with an underskirt of russet
damask. She knew it suited her to perfection and the tiny matching bonnet
framed her face and made her eyes appear bigger. She hoped her appearance might
soften Cousin Theo’s heart. She had detected a decided glint in his eye when he
looked at her sometimes, not dissimilar to the looks the military gentlemen had
given her that fateful Saturday at Great Bentley.

Her nervousness
was causing her stomach to lurch unpleasantly and her hands were clammy.
Neither Edward nor Jane would understand how much she was dreading the coming
interview for they didn’t know Cousin Theo’s true character.

The drive to
Bentley Hall was over too quickly. She was ushered up the marble steps and
informed respectfully that Sir Theodore was waiting in the library. She waved
away the footman eager to escort her. She knew the way well enough.

Should she knock
or walk in unannounced? She decided politeness dictated she would ask
permission to enter. She bunched a fist and rapped rather more loudly than she
had intended on the library door.

 
 
 
 
 

Chapter
Thirteen

 

She had no need
to press her ear to the door to hear his command to enter. Her legs were
trembling so badly she scarcely had the strength to push the door open. She
left it ajar and raising her head faced the man who had demanded she attend on
him.

One look at his
face was enough— she would not stay to be berated or worse, she would come back
when he had calmed down.

‘Close the door,
Marianne. You would not wish us to be overheard.’ To disobey him was out of the
question. She didn’t hesitate. She pushed the heavy door shut.

She moved a few
steps searching for a chair to sit on for she did not think her legs could hold
her upright much longer. There was a single wooden seat marooned in the centre
of a sea of polished boards. He nodded towards it and she slunk over and sat
down fiddling with her skirts to allow time to compose herself.

The silence
stretched. She could hear the clock ticking, the birds singing in the garden
and still he did not speak. She couldn’t bear it. She looked up and wished she
hadn’t.

His eyes bored
into hers, pinning her like a butterfly to a board and she was unable to break
the connection. He began pleasantly enough.

‘I believe I
told you, was it only last week, that I had never struck a woman?’

She would not
cast up her accounts for a second time. She felt the sour taste in her mouth
and closed her eyes immediately feeling better now she couldn’t see him glaring
at her.

‘I believe,’ he
continued conversationally, ‘that I am about to break that rule.’ She sunk
lower in her chair and shivered. ‘Going out dressed as a boy in the middle of
the night was the height of stupidity. If you had been recognized by any but me
your reputation would be ruined and Edward forced to offer for you.’

At his last
remark her eyes flew open and intemperate words flew out. ‘Marry Edward? Don’t
be ridiculous— he’s only sixteen.’

That was a
mistake. He seemed to grow and his jaw hardened and his fists clenched. He was
going to carry out his threat, turn her over his knee and spank her like a
child. Her back pressed against the chair as she watched him approach.

Then her fear
vanished to be replaced by a fury equal to his own. How dare he threaten her?
Who was he to criticize her behaviour? She leapt to her feet sending the chair
crashing to the floor and stepped towards him.

‘Don’t dare to
raise a hand to me, sir, I am not a child. And you are not my true guardian.
Your role is nominal. Lord Grierson is my adopted father; he is the only man
who has the right to discipline me.’

They stood
inches apart and the sparks of rage flickered between them igniting a different
kind of heat. Before she realized his intention his arms were around her and
his mouth closed over hers. His tongue slid persuasively back and forth across
her lips and a hand ran up her spine to
cup
the back
of her head, holding her a willing prisoner in his embrace.

Unused to kisses
of any sort she didn’t understand that he had already overstepped what was
permissible between an unmarried couple. Her blood was fizzing around her body and
every inch of her, pressed so close to his hard frame, was seared by delightful
warmth.

Her arms slid of
their own volition from their position pressed hard against his chest to link
behind his neck. Her questing fingers buried themselves in the silky hair that
curled around his collar.

*

Her response
encouraged him. He tilted her head back and when her mouth opened he deepened
his kiss. His hot tongue slid inside her mouth exploring every crevice. Her
knees buckled and as she began to collapse he swept her up and strode to the
padded settle. His desire was pushing him to take liberties that were quite
unacceptable. He put her down gently. Her eyes were closed, her mouth swollen
from his kisses, her perfect bosom striving to escape the confines of her bodice.
She looked so beautiful - so desirable - so innocent.

He froze,
horrified by what he’d been about to do. This was a young girl, not a married
woman looking for an illicit affair and he had been about to make love to her.
Take the one thing she must keep if she was not to be cast aside by society as
used goods.

Her eyes flicked
open. He stared down at her trying to regain control.

‘Theo?’

Her voice was
soft, husky; it took all his strength of mind not to drop down and take what
was being so freely offered. He didn’t answer, he couldn’t, not yet, not until
he was calm, until his heart had stopped hammering and his breathing returned
to normal.

He moved back,
putting a safe distance between them and watched as she sat up a look of
confusion on her face. She didn’t realize what had almost happened, how
appalling his behaviour was, how any decent gentleman would now be on his knees
begging her hand in

marriage. But he could not do the
honourable thing, until his mission was accomplished he had to remain incognito
and it broke his heart to do so.

*

Marianne watched
the play of emotions running across Theo’s mobile face and for a second was
puzzled and couldn’t read the signs. Then she understood or thought she did. He
was ashamed of taking advantage of her and didn’t know how to apologize.

She smiled; at
least he wasn’t angry with her. Being kissed so passionately was infinitely
preferable to being beaten. ‘Theo, it’s all right. I’m not offended by what
happened. This was as much my fault as yours. I didn’t ask you to stop. That
was wrong of me. But we were both so angry and love is sometimes akin to hate,
is it not?’

She waited for
his answer but he remained mute. She swung her legs off the settle and stood up
beginning to feel a trifle uncomfortable. ‘Theo, what’s wrong, why are you
staring at me so oddly? Have you not forgiven me for last night?’

Finally his
expression softened and he stepped forward holding out his hands to her.
Trustingly she took them. Things were going to be all right.

‘Marianne,
sweetheart, I don’t know quite how to say this without causing offence.’ She
stiffened and tried to remove her hands. ‘No, listen to me, please. I shouldn’t
have used you so shamefully. I behaved unforgivably. I most sincerely beg your
pardon. Can you forgive me?’

She was
perplexed by his statement. ‘Why are you apologizing? Have we done something
wrong? It didn’t feel wrong—it felt absolutely right.’

‘This is so hard
to explain. You’re such an innocent. What we did is only considered acceptable
between married people.
Now
do you
understand?’

She stepped back
and he was forced to release her. ‘I see. What you are telling me is that a
gentleman would feel obliged to offer to marry me if he had done as you did.’
He didn’t reply but his eyes flashed and his throat convulsed as he swallowed.
‘This was my punishment for misbehaving?
For calling you
ridiculous?’
She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. ‘I believe I
would have preferred to have been beaten.’ With quiet dignity she shook out her
tangled skirts and collecting her dropped reticule, walked, head high to the
door.

She waited in
frigid silence for him to open it for her and then marched through, her face
disdainful, leaving him alone in the room. He was a despicable rogue and
someone ought to take a horse whip to him.

Somehow she
reached the waiting carriage. In a daze she allowed a footman to hand her in.
During the drive back she kept her emotions under control. It would not do to
return to Frating Hall in tears.

Edward was
anxiously awaiting her return. ‘Marianne, what did Sir Theodore say? Did he
threaten to take away your horses or tell the parents?’

She knew she had
to reply but her voice seemed lost behind her teeth. She shook her head. ‘It
was too horrible, I cannot talk of it. Pray excuse me, I must return to my
room.’ She fled past him and into the house. She ignored both Lord and Lady
Grierson who were exiting the breakfast parlour.

Lady Grierson
watched her disappear upstairs. ‘Whatever’s wrong with Marianne? She looked
quite overset. I shall go straight up and see if I can be only comfort to her.’

Lord Grierson
restrained her. ‘No, my dear, leave it. Her maid will take care of her. She
knows her best.’

‘She has been to
see Sir Theodore. Edward told me his carriage came for her. I can’t imagine
what such an amiable gentleman can have said to upset her so.’

Marianne was
relieved no-one was going to follow her. She couldn’t face a barrage of
questions at the moment. Where was Jane? Marianne rang the small brass bell more
vigorously and waited for her normally punctual maid to appear. She heard a
soft tap on the dressing room door but it wasn’t Jane who came in.

‘You rang, Miss
Devenish?’ An unknown chambermaid dipped and waited nervously for her response.

‘Where is Jane?
I want her.’ Even in her distress she knew she sounded petulant, more like
Arabella than herself.

‘Mrs Smith asked
me to wait on you. Someone has come from London
to see her and she had to go and deal with it.’

‘I see. I don’t
need you; it’s my dresser I wish to speak to. You may go.’ The girl retreated
leaving Marianne alone with her misery.

She stared
blindly round the room not sure where to go or what to do, or even how she
felt.

She had left Frating Hall an
unawakened
girl and returned a soiled woman. The man she
had come to love had treated her with disrespect and then sent her packing.

Love? Surely it
could not be true? Where had that come from? Was it possible to be in love
after such a short acquaintance? She collapsed onto the window seat, tucked her
feet under her and leant back into the comparative privacy of the embrasure.

She had to think
- to clear her head - make some sense of what had happened. She needed to
consider what it meant to her and how she should behave in the future when she
was forced to meet him again. She closed her eyes and relived the traumatic
events that had taken place in Bentley Hall library.

Theo had been
justifiably furious but he had had no right to threaten to beat her. She was
not a schoolgirl. He had not treated her as a child had he? He had kissed her
with fervour, no question that she was a woman grown - but what sort of woman?
Not a respectable one
for certes
! She
felt the embarrassment travel up her body until her face was on fire. What had
she been thinking of to allow him to take such liberties with her person?

She heard the
sound of a galloping horse and stiffened. She knew instinctively this was Theo.
But why had he come chasing after her? There could be only one reason. He had
come to make an offer after all.

She scrambled
from her perch and ran over to the mirror to check her appearance. Her hair was
soon fixed, the grubby tear streaks easily removed but her gown was a disgrace.
She could not go down to receive a marriage proposal dressed as she was. She would
need the assistance of her substitute dresser.

She rang the
bell loudly and the girl appeared at once. ‘I need to change my gown for this
is quite ruined. Any afternoon dress will suffice.’ She wasn’t sure how long
she would have before the summons came. He would have to speak to Lord Grierson
first even though his lordship was not officially her guardian.

All the time she
was dressing in a simple gown of daffodil yellow Indian cotton she was
rehearsing what she would say when Theo asked her.

She was ready
and the girl dismissed but still no summons came. This interim allowed her
space to consider what her answer was to be. She had only just recognized she
loved him but did she wish to marry a man who offered only out of duty? She
rather thought she did not.

A footman
eventually came to collect her and by then she had her answer off pat. She was
going to thank him politely but refuse his kind offer. Until he asked out of
affection she would not take him however pressing he might be.

She didn’t
knock. The library door was open. He was watching for her his expression not
that of a gentleman eager to declare his love. In fact his eyes were sad, not
happy or even resigned.

‘You wish to
speak to me, Sir Theodore?’

‘I do, Miss
Devenish. Thank you for coming down so promptly. I expected you to refuse to
see me.’

Her face
coloured but she said nothing. He indicated she should be seated but she shook
her head. She would remain standing to hear what he had to say. His nostrils
flared but otherwise he didn’t react to her incivility. Etiquette dictated that
whilst she was on her feet he could not sit down either.

‘I have spoken
to Lord Grierson.’

In spite of her
determination not to accept her heart skipped a beat. She was about to receive
her very first marriage proposal.

*

He continued
quietly. ‘He agrees it is best I no longer act as your guardian. He is to take
the role from now on. You will not have to see me anymore.’ He watched in
horror as the colour drained from her face and her knees crumpled. He caught
her as she fell and lifted her up to hold her tight to his heart then carried
her to the sofa and prepared to set her down.

Her head was
turned, resting on his shoulder and he could feel the dampness from her tears
seeping through the cloth. This was not the reaction he had expected, not
tears, not after his callous treatment earlier. Instead of putting her safely
on the sofa, he folded himself into
oneof
the
armchairs Marianne still in his arms.

‘Please don’t
cry, sweetheart. You should be happy you don’t have to see me again.’ His words
made her distress worse and she clutched his cravat, ruining an hour of
Vincent’s work, but he didn’t care.

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