The Dying Ground (34 page)

“Right here.” Felicia waited until everyone gathered around before she pointed. “That’s the one. Right there in the center.”

“How you know that?” Clarence asked. His voice was cold, and he looked from me to Holly. “We can’t be keeping secrets on a mission like this.”

Holly had covered for Felicia at the bar, so we all waited for him to answer. “No secrets, man. You got my word.”

Clarence avoided looking at Felicia or me. “Only your word. This whole mission is riding on you, man.”

“I hear ya.” Clarence drew a line but Holly didn’t back down. “You know everything you need to know.”

Clarence looked at him for a long moment, then nodded his head. He turned to Felicia. “You got all the players in Oakland lined up to protect you. Anybody get hurt”—he paused—“I’ll take the rest of ’em out just to get to you myself.”

We found level ground that gave us a full view of Smokey’s living room. The television played to an empty room, and three beers sat on the table.

“Where ya girl at?” Holly whispered behind me.

Before I could answer, we all saw Felicia hoist herself onto the deck that led into Smokey’s house. She slipped in through a sliding glass door before any of us could call out or go after her.

“Man, what the fuck is this?” Clarence kicked a rock at his feet.

“Look.” I pointed to the living room, where Smokey entered with three more beers in his hand. All the lights were on, and it felt for a moment like watching a movie. We were all mesmerized, knowing Felicia was in the house. Smokey took a seat and handed the remaining beers to people we couldn’t see.

“We got to go up there.” I started forward but Holly held me back.

“She ain’t following the rules. She on her own, man.”

I saw Felicia’s shadow before the others. She was in the hallway behind Smokey with her gun leading the way. She put her finger to her lips to hush Smokey’s guests and then placed the barrel on his neck.

He didn’t have time to turn before a flash of light erupted from the gun and ripped the back of his head off.

I
stepped into the brightly lit room just as Felicia shot five more bullets into Smokey’s twitching body. Holly, Clarence, and the Samoans came in right behind me, guns drawn and directed at the other people in the room. We all stopped short, surprised. Then Felicia turned the gun on Smokey’s guests.

“I got one more. Just for you, Reggie.” There was no love in her face as she gazed at her brother. There was nothing recognizable about her.

“Flea.” Reggie moved toward her with his hands in the air. He shot a worried glance at the five of us. “Flea, you gotta come home with us. We need to get up out of here tonight.”

She shook her head, but Reggie kept talking. “We can’t stay in Oakland, shit is a mess, and we can’t protect you. If we back in Los—”

“Why you do it, Reggie.” Her voice was dead, mechanical, like it had never been used.

Reggie was startled by her question, just as I was. “Flea, let’s get the fuck out of here,” he said.

She held the gun steady. Pain crept onto her face. “I loved him, Reggie.”

“W-w-what you t-t-talking about?” Crim looked frantically from his sister to his brother.

“Tell him, Reggie. Tell him. I want to hear you say it out loud.”

“Flea.” Reggie looked around the room for help. There was none, just a collective silence. Slowly the meaning of the family drama registered with us all.

“Tell him, Reggie. Now.”

“W-w-what she talking about, Reggie?” Crim was frantic. The truth hadn’t registered with him yet. I was sick to my stomach. I knew in Fresno that Felicia was holding something back, and now it was clear.

“Who was with Smokey, Reggie, when he shot Billy? Who was with him?”

“Flea, you don’t understand.”

“What’s to understand?” Tears rolled down her face. “I know I loved him.”

Reggie’s anger came to the surface in one quick flash. “He wadn’t family. How you gonna choose him over me?”

Crim stood up while Reggie spoke. His mouth dropped open in disbelief.

“Why’d you do it, Reggie?” Felicia asked again.

“’Cause. He was trying to push me out. I set that shit up with the Mexicans! I opened up L.A. to him, and then he tried to pull a move like I didn’t matter. Who was he? Who the fuck was he to put me down like some bitch?”

“You blew that deal yourself, Reggie. Then you decided Billy had to die because you were a fuckup. Tell me why I’m suppose to choose you after that. Explain that to me.”

“ ’cause we blood.”

Felicia snorted. “What does that mean? Daddy didn’t care about blood, so why should I? You didn’t care about blood, so why should I? You put yourself over me when you killed him. All you had to lose was a business deal. Just business, Reggie, but you took everything from me like it wasn’t nothing.”

“Flea, man, you know I wouldn’t do you like that, but he disrespected me. You know the rules. I can’t let shit like that slide. He called the shot, and I played it out.”

“Did you think about me when you killed him?” Felicia’s shirt was wet with tears that ran freely.

Reggie couldn’t answer, and it deflated her. The realization that the center of her world, her own peace of mind, meant nothing to her brother made her crumble in on herself.

Reggie raced on with his nowhere explanations. “I set that up! That money, that deal was mine, and this motherfucker comes from nowhere trying to call a shot. He acted like he didn’t know who I was!”

“You ain’t shit, Reggie.” Her voice rose; then she took steady aim at her brother. Crim moved toward Reggie but stopped when he saw Felicia’s eyes flick his way.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Flea? How the fuck you gonna aim a gun at me!”

She pulled back the hammer as Reggie began to hop nervously from foot to foot. My heart was in my throat as I watched Felicia’s revenge unfold. Somehow I’d known from the beginning that all debts owed by Felicia, and even myself, could only be paid with the blood of kin.

Reggie turned desperately to Crim.

“He can’t help you. Look at me. Turn back and look at me,” Felicia directed coldly.

Reggie seemed to shrink before the gun and his sister’s
withering anger. His mouth moved, soundless, as he gasped for words, air, or meaning. All three abandoned him.

“You killed him. You took him from me, Reggie.” I saw a single tear slide down her cheek but she flicked it away with a quick whip of her head.

“You can’t love a nigga that hard, Flea. Not over family.”

“You killed him.” Each letter in her sentence dragged the temperature down around us. There was no going back. Reggie knew he had finally met his fate. Bravado escaped him. While he bounced and looked desperately around for help, Felicia’s anger crystalized into a hard tangible entity. Crim’s silence was deafening as he watched his brother and sister.

“He wadn’t yo’ blood. We blood.” He placed his hand where his heart should have been. “We blood, Flea.” Felicia nodded once, to let him know she understood, and fired right through his hand, plastering it to his chest as he fell backward.

Crim rushed forward as Felicia fell to her knees. “F-f-f-felicia.” Crim sounded desperate. Maybe he hadn’t expected her to actually shoot Reggie.

I had.

“He took Billy from me. I had to, Crim. I had to.”

She crawled over to Reggie and placed his head in her lap. His blood poured out onto her clothes as his eyes stared at nothing. “Oh, Reggie, Reggie.” She cradled his head and rocked him.

Crim pulled Reggie’s body away from her and held his brother in his arms. “You killed your brother, Flea, just like Daddy killed Mama. You just like Daddy, Flea. You just like Daddy.” Crim said the words as if there was nothing worse in the world. Reggie’s reign of terror, the devastation he brought to his sister’s life and to his many victims, meant nothing in light of their father’s crime.

He stood up and looked at her with horror. She reached out
to him but he backed away. Felicia dripped with Reggie’s blood while all of us stood around, silently.

“He killed Billy, Crim.”

“That’s your brother, Flea, that’s your
brother,”
He continued backing up until he reached the hallway. I saw panic in her eyes. Since we’d left Fresno, revenge had flowed in her veins and kept her alive. I don’t think she’d seen past the moment of Reggie’s death. But, now, faced with the same exile her father knew, she looked desperate.

“Crim!”

He shook his head. “I’ll keep your secret till I die, Flea, but we ain’t family no more.” I saw that his face was damp with tears. Tears for both his brother and his sister. “We cain’t never be blood after this.” He looked at Reggie. “That all ran out in the ground.” His words flowed steady and clear.

“Don’t leave me here. Where you going? Crim!” He turned on her and aimed his own gun at her face. She kept moving toward him anyway. Despite the evidence all around her, throughout her life, she didn’t believe her brother would kill her.

I did.

“G-g-git back.” He backed his way to the front door.

“Crim.” She kept moving. “Crim, don’t leave me here.” Her wail split my heart in two.

“Get away from me, Felicia.” He pulled back the hammer of his gun. A red dot danced on her forehead.

“Drop it, motherfucker, drop the gun.” Clarence sounded nervous. He raised his own gun to center on Crim’s forehead. The red of the lasers made a cross beam in the middle of the room.

Felicia continued to move toward Crim with her arms outstretched. “You gonna kill me?” Tears streaked her face. “Do it. I’m ready to go.”

“Felicia!” I called out again, but I couldn’t penetrate the drama that coursed through the veins of brother and sister. “Flea, baby.”

The sound of Reggie’s name for her made her turn and smile at me. For just a second she was the old Flea, the one on campus, the one I loved. My heart knew in that second that if I didn’t do something I would never see her again.

I stepped out, thinking I could save her, hoping for redemption. I was guilty too, and I was finally waking up to the fact. “Maceo,” Holly hissed.

Crim kept his gun steady. I saw a second red dot, then a third and a fourth appear on his face. Behind me Holly, Clarence, and the Samoans had their guns trained on him.

“Felicia. Come on, baby.” I reached for her, but she pulled away. “Let’s get out of here. We have to get out of here.”

“Crim, please.”

He backed out of the door, we heard footsteps, then he was gone. Felicia dropped to the ground and howled in grief. She landed in a pool of blood and when she realized what she’d done she started to scream. She screamed in a way that made me realize that for all purposes she was dead now too.

“We got to get her out of here,” I yelled.

Holly came up beside me as I lifted her up. I left the rest of them to deal with Reggie’s and Smokey’s bodies. I had to get Felicia away.

“Maceo,” Holly called to me.

“I got to get her out of here.”

Felicia was the only woman I would choose over him. We both knew that. I tried to ignore the guilt but it dogged me as I pulled her back through the wooded path. There wasn’t a woman alive, not even Cissy, that Holly would put above me. The knowledge didn’t make me feel like less of a man, it just clarified who I was.

We made it to the car just as Emmet and Malcolm’s car sped off down the hill. They must have heard the gunshots and made a choice. I hustled a dazed Felicia into the car and headed back into the flatlands.

We were back safely on 580, miles away from Smokey’s house, when I heard her moan at my side. “Oh, Billy.” The words were clear.

I wasn’t sure she was coherent, but the sound of Billy’s name brought him into the car. It also brought my shame along with him. I realized that I had chosen a woman over my best friend, the only brother I would ever have, and she made me understand with one word that I would never even be number two in her eyes. It was Billy, Billy, and then Billy again.

I kept driving. She had to understand, I told myself, that I loved her just as much as Billy ever had. I glanced in the rearview mirror, and for a second I swear I saw his face. He wore a look of pity, directed right at me. What does it take, his expression seemed to ask, to make you understand that even with me gone it will never be you?