The Earl's Childe (10 page)

Unfortunately
.

I waited. When all I got was just that cussing sense in my head, and fear, definitely fear, and no further explanation, I pushed. “Aaaand?”

With lines around his eyes, Ermie said,
I find his killing and treatment to be cruel and unusual. Towards both human and faerie
. I also felt him hiding even more emotions from me.

I breathed out one of Mum's best cusses, too. My child-eating, enjoys-thoughts-about-killing, fey horse thought
this guy
was cruel and unusual, and was
very
uncomfortable with even the thought of him. “So we
should
…join forces…in some way?”

The kelpie snorted again, but fortunately not directly on me this time.
Just be very, very careful
. He shook his head, as if he'd just tasted something sour.
I would suggest consulting with your mother. She seems to know a thing or two about faerie. If you wish…I will also inform you of any problematic wording. If you would like my presence, that is
.

I nodded, then proceeded carefully with my next question. “So…what would be the best way to contact Lady Fana and Lord Cadmus…without, um…Tom?”

Ermie snorted again.
And you clearly wish me not to ask why you cannot go through “Tom”
—he snorted at the cat's chosen name—
whom I figure has been your liaison with the Lady and Lord
.

“Please?”

Another snort, then another shake.
He ran from your castle
terrified.
I could smell it. I do not know how that will influence your family's relation with the Lady and Lord
.

I looked away from him, pressing my lips together tightly.

I could take you into Faerie, but if he has influenced the Lady and Lord against you, it may be taken as an attack—particularly with me present. And if even one of them were to “defend” their lands at even half their power, we could be destroyed—or captured and used against your parents to negotiate. And, if I know nothing else of your parents, I know they would do even the most foolish things to ensure the safety of you and your siblings
.

He was right. I muttered a couple more of Mum's most choice phrases.

If I knew exactly what had scared the cat fey so, I could also offer more of an opinion on how poorly your relationship with the Lady and Lord may fare
.

It was apparent that he still
reallllly
wanted to know. I couldn't blame him. But, just based on what he had told me, we were pretty screwed. I kicked the dirt, feeling that anger well up in me again. What was my dad
thinking?
He'd probably ruined everything. And now we'd have to face off against a seriously evil and nasty Unseelie with our only help a kelpie who said that the Seelie could possibly destroy us on sight because Dad had probably cheesed them off, too, by hurting and scaring the crap out of Tom.

I hated feeling this angry! This emotional! It didn't feel like me.

As if I didn't have enough awful thoughts in my mind, yet another one hit.

What if I had the same thing as my dad? Where I would end up needing medicine and still not being able to control my emotions? And just being around Ermie would make it worse?

Lily, my older sister, was already seeing a psychologist for post-traumatic stress disorder because of her mom…and they were watching for bipolar in her too. I knew enough to know we inherit things—including illnesses—from parents. Could I end up like my dad?

Not knowing what else to do, I stomped my foot and hollered at the sky. It wasn't fair!

Ermie hopped back a few steps and stared at me.

Fresh tears were running down my face, and I scrubbed at them with the palms of my hands. I needed to do something, anything.

I needed to ride.

I flashed my gaze onto Ermie, who didn't quite flinch this time.

“C-can I ride you, really fast, like Mum did last night?”

He tilted his head a bit, then nodded.

“And, you'll keep me safe, not let me fall?”

You have my word
.

I nodded, marched over to the fence, and climbed up on it, taking half a moment to thank what little luck I had that Lady Fana had done her healing magick on me
before
today's big blow-up. Ehwnmyr moved beside me so I could mount more easily.

I tensed half a second, feeling his fur writhe beneath my jeans…almost
into
the material, but not quite… I stretched and moved my legs easily in all directions. I wasn't
catching
on anything. But I felt secure.

I took a deep breath.

Ready?
he asked.

“Can we start slow?”

I felt his chuckle beneath me as much as I heard it in my head. I grabbed two good fistfuls of mane as he jumped right into a canter.

Which, I would quickly find out,
was
starting slow.

He circled the inside of his paddock twice.

I have your permission to leave my fencing?

“Yeah…but you have to turn around right when I say and take me back when I say.”

Of course
. I could tell he was slightly irked at what was probably a given, but I also felt it was a minor emotion for him—like one of the flies landing on his skin. He was more overtaken with the joy of running.

It didn't come in words, but he informed me he was about to jump the fence. I leaned into my half-seat, chest almost touching his neck as the wind burned past my cheeks and my stomach flipped about three times over. I was never into jumping or hunter classes; I liked dressage, drill team, and the western games. I
had
jumped before, but nothing higher than three feet.

The fence around his paddock was over four feet tall.

Once he hit the ground, all sense of “slow” was lost. I had to squint to protect my eyes from the air. My braids flew behind me so I couldn't even feel them on my back. My ears were starting to get wind burned, too.

Ears. Crap!

I hadn't worn my helmet. I
never
rode without a helmet. Mum would
skin me alive!

Also, I was riding on a horse that was possibly running as fast as a race car. His weed-like mane snapped at my face. It's not like I could see the scenery to even gauge our speed.

You have my word, nothing will happen to you
. The elation coming from him far outweighed any annoyance of having to assure me. I felt it bubbling in my head, his laughter and joy. Relaxing into my seat, I let it fill me and I started laughing, too. A crazy, wild laugh.

It was amazing!

This was flying.

I still felt his hooves beating the ground, yet he moved so smoothly, it felt like we weren't even touching ground! I gulped in air the way I gulped water after a football game. More of his laughter reverberated through his sides and my body. I lifted my head and whooped into the air, which only seemed to goad him on more.

We leaned into a sharp turn, then, out of nowhere, the ground disappeared to my right.

I gripped him tightly, coughing on a choked breath. We raced along one of the ocean cliffs that the trails couldn't make it to. The waves pounded sheer rock, and below me, thousands and thousands of seabirds wove around each other, to and from nests pasted into every nook, cranny, and tiny outcropping.

Ehrwnmyr slowed to a canter, then a trot, and then stopped at the highest point. We didn't speak to each other in words; we just stared over the cliff, the birds, and the water. We didn't need to speak to know we shared the same amount of true awe at the view and the world before us. The monster horse felt just as tiny and reverent before the ocean's majesty as I did. It felt good. It was the first time I'd felt good all day.

I felt a twinge in my stomach, and I glanced back in the direction of the castle. Taking my cue, Ermie turned around and headed back, easing into his unnatural speed as we left the precarious cliff. It felt just as amazing this time, but my stomach no longer crashed around my belly in holy terror. In fact, I even closed my eyes, letting every sensation ripple through my body.

His jump back into the paddock seemed much gentler and more controlled than our jump out. Perhaps he'd worked out the energy he needed to work out. I was still grinning widely as he slowed to a stop.

The good feeling and grin dissipated quickly as I saw my older sister standing outside the paddock. Hands on her hips, face twisted in a mix of horror, concern, and anxiety, her mouth moved a few times before she finally formed an imposing, “What. The Hell. Is going on?”

I swallowed. Hard. Lily's eyes, more blue than mine, felt they were cutting into my eyeballs like lasers. I pulled my gaze away, looking at Ehrwnmyr's neck as I dismounted.

“What did you say to Dad?”

That did it. All the fury and anger and frustration I'd thought I'd ridden out of me bubbled back up in my stomach like sour bile, and I directed it into a glare that actually made her flinch. “What did
I
say?” I stopped myself from continuing as Ermie shifted behind me, coming closer to my shoulder. I turned away from my sister and brushed the kelpie's neck a few times, scratching the place I remembered him liking last night. “Good ride,” I told him.

His lips twitched for a few minutes, but he tightened them, raising his head so he looked down on me.
What did your father do to scare the fey cat?

“Heather! You come back inside the castle this instant.” My sister was pulling the older sibling role and giving her best impression of Mum. (As opposed to Lily's mom, whom I would probably never listen to even if my life depended on it.) “You shouldn't even been out here! You're grounded!”

“I. Don't. Care.” I spoke deliberately, still scratching Ermie's neck.

The kelpie glanced between us, then stepped away, though I could see the reluctance in his posture. His emotions, which he was openly sharing with me, were a mix of frustration and betrayal that not only was I not telling him what was going on, but I was purposely trying to misdirect him with the scritching I knew he liked.

“Heather M—” Lily stopped herself, even as I glared and Ehrwnmyr perked his ears. Shortly after I adopted the kelpie, Mum had cautioned us to never use our full names in front of faerie. Any faerie. We were supposed to keep our middle names a secret. With a huff, my sister continued, voice colder than I'd ever heard it before, which really got my attention. “I have
never
seen Dad like this.
What
did you do?”

I swallowed again. Lily was furious. Even more than me, and for some reason, her freezing quiet voice sucked the worst of the hot anger out of me. She was worried about Dad.

I was still pretty ticked off, though, so I took my time answering. I paused and nodded at Ermie, sending him an in-my-head apology for hurting his feelings after he had, indeed, tried to comfort me since the second I'd come out here. Despite that, and taking another deep breath, my teeth were still clenched as I answered Lily and informed the kelpie of what had happened.
“I
did exactly what I promised. I had another faery issue last night and Mum was running out the door, so I told Dad, and he totally flipped out and tried to cast a spell that ended up hurting both me and Tom, so I ran out here so I wouldn't massively explode all over him.”

Lily's jaw dropped. Ehrwnmyr snorted angrily and stomped a trotting circle. I sensed the edges of his fury now, and I could feel he was trying to keep me from feeling it. No matter how mad I was at my dad, I couldn't bear the thought of what my person-eating horse would be considering.

“You're hurt?” My sister finally spoke again, but her eyes narrowed as she looked me up and down suspiciously.

I thrust out my arm. From just below my pinky to just before my elbow was a puffy red blaze, like a burn. Made aware of it again, I scowled and rubbed it to soothe the itching, burning soreness.

Ehrwnmyr let out a deep, growling grunt and hopped his front legs in another stomping circle.
And
you
made a point of swearing to protect me!

“It's not that bad,” I told him, but turned my eyes to my sister. “But, still. Dad lost control.”

Lily took a deep breath and glowered at me. “He feels awful about it,” she finally said. “He…he was in the office, but I could hear him crying. Ginny said she'd called Mum to hurry home because he was throwing stuff in the office, and the last thing she saw, you were running out of the house.” She took a deep breath. “I thought you'd said or done something…like that time I lost it at Mum. You know…a few years ago?”

I nodded. Outside of issues with Jess, Lily's mom, the only other massive explosion in
our
family was when Lily was going through her own mental problems, so she took it out on Mum because Mum isn't her mom. Hurting Mum that way had crossed Dad's line, though. He was almost as angry at Lily as I'd seen him get with Lily's mom. He took her into in the office for like three hours or something, and for the following two whole weeks, I'd never seen my sister more kind, polite, or quiet. Especially to Mum. And she's never totally snapped at anyone since. Especially Mum.