The Edge of Heaven (41 page)

She told him.

He kissed her one more time, and said, "I'll be there."

Chapter 19

She was afraid it would be one of the longest months of her life, but the time flew by. She had so much to do, and she had hope for the first time in so long. She studied like crazy and firmed up her job offer, and she kept waiting for a call or a visit from Sam about her and Rye, but that never happened.

Graduation day was chaotic, crowded, and kind of frenzied. She just wanted it to be over. She'd never regret coming here and getting her degree, and she had needed to be on her own for a while, to learn to trust herself again. But at the same time, she just wanted to get on with her life.

And she wanted Rye.

Sam, Rachel, Zach, Grace, and her grandfather came together for the graduation ceremonies, and she'd arranged to meet them in front of her dorm afterward.

Zach, who was taller than she was, gave her a big squeeze and lifted her off the ground. "You did it."

"Finally," she said.

Grace brought her a small bouquet of flowers that had likely been swiped from someone's garden. She'd charmed all the neighbors. They never complained.

Emma took the flowers and said, "Thanks, Grace. They're beautiful."

"We should put one in your hair," Grace said quite seriously. She was into all sorts of ornamentation and decoration, hair included.

Rachel was crying and smiling at the same time. "We just haven't had enough time," she said, which was the same thing she'd said when Emma went off to college. "How are we supposed to let you go?"

"We're not going to," Sam said, giving her a big hug himself. "You'll always be our daughter."

And then she started to cry. "I know that."

Sam let her go and looked over his shoulder toward the circular drive out front. "I think someone's waiting for you back there."

Emma closed her eyes for a moment, one last chance to wish it would all come true, and when she looked over Sam's shoulder, there was Rye.

He was leaning casually against the side of his truck, looking so sexy in his jeans and a dark brown sweater. He had a big bouquet of roses in his hand, hanging down by his side, and he stood up straight when he saw her and gave her a big smile.

She took off running, not caring what anybody thought anymore. He came toward her, catching her and lifting her into his arms, twirling her around until she was laughing more than crying, pure joy sweeping through her.

She wrapped her arms around him, and he finally lowered her to the ground to where she could stand.

"Told you I'd be here," he said, kissing her wet cheek.

"Sam asked you to wait until I graduated from college, didn't he?"

Rye hesitated. "He told me he wanted you to have this time for yourself, without thinking about getting serious about anybody."

"And now I'm done," she said, beaming up at him. "I'm afraid to even turn around and look. Does that mean he's okay with this?"

"He's a father. I don't think any father is crazy about any guy who comes after his daughter at any age. He's also wondering what we've been doing behind his back—"

"I'll tell him."

"That would not help," Rye said, laughing.

"I mean, I'll tell him it was me. That I went to you and... You know. That I blackmailed you."

"That is not the way it happened, Emma, and I don't think any kind of details are going to help. What he's imagined already has been hard enough for him to take. I told him I managed to stay away from you until your birthday, and left it at that."

"Oh," she said. "And he's okay with that?"

"I'm still standing," Rye said. "I figure that means he's taking it well. I also told him I was done hiding how I feel about you."

"Wow," she said, smiling and taking a breath. It was happening. Really happening. "And... What does that mean?"

"Well, I've been thinking.... We could do this two different ways."

"Okay."

He handed her the flowers, a big bunch of roses in a rich, ivory color. "We never really did the dating thing."

"Dating?"

"You know... movies, dinner, dancing, picnics."

"I've been on dates," she said. "Lots of dates." That wasn't what she was looking for here.

"Or we could skip that part and go straight to the good stuff."

"Which would have something to do with me in your bed again?"

He grinned. "That works for me. But it's really not going to go over well with Sam. Besides, I told you, I'm through hiding the way I feel. And I'm sure of myself. Absolutely sure, but I want you to be sure, too. I'm in love with you."

More tears came, falling faster this time, blurring her vision, but she managed to get out the words, "I love you, too. I always have."

He pulled her to him and held on tight for the longest time, and then he laughed a bit and wiped away a few of her tears. "I guess we don't really need the dating part."

She shook her head.

"Did I tell you I bought a house last year?"

"I think I heard something about that."

"I know exactly what I want for it, but you know, the whole place seemed so big when it was just me, so empty. I got so far with it, and then I couldn't seem to make myself go any further. It's been sitting there, not quite finished for a while now. There's a nasty rumor going around town that I just can't make up my mind about anything."

"Really?"

He nodded. "I was lying to myself all along. Told myself it made sense to buy it as an investment and that it would give me something to do to maybe keep my mind off you. I told myself I did it because it seemed like Sam actually wanted me to—"

"He did," she said.

"Which I took to mean that he wants me around."

She grinned. "He does. Almost as much as I do."

"But I really bought it for you. I bought it because somewhere deep down inside, I imagined that someday I might be able to share it with you. It won't mean anything to me without you," he said, kissing her softly. "So... I hope you like the house."

"I love the house."

"I wanted to ask, but then I would have had to be honest with myself about what I wanted in the first place, and I wasn't quite there yet. Sorry."

"It's okay." Everything was just fine today.

"There's one more thing you need to think about. Think carefully, Emma," he said, looking uncertain for the first time. "One day, I'm betting you're going to want children—"

"I will."

"I'm going to want that, too, but if I'm their father, they're going to find out someday where I've been, what I've done."

"Then we'll just have to tell them," she said.

"Have you really thought about that? Your children. Telling them their father killed someone. That's..." He swore softly and looked away. "That's something I'll never be able to escape. I won't be able to hide it, either."

"Then we'll deal with it." She could deal with anything with him.

"You don't have to deal with it, you know."

"Rye, I'm not having children with anyone but you."

"You're sure?"

"I'm sure. I told you the night of my birthday and yours, and I meant it. I love you, and I understand everything. I don't blame you. I'm so grateful that, as awful as all that was, you came through it. I'm grateful you're still in this world and incredibly grateful that right now, you're with me."

"And I'm grateful for all those same things," he said. "I don't think I ever would have managed to let it go on my own. I've been living like a man half alive for so long. That's why I came here in the first place. A buddy of mine from prison got sick with cancer, and right before he died, I went to see him. He said he'd been living the whole time he'd been out of prison like he was still inside. Living like a man still locked up, and after he was gone, I thought I was doing the same thing, thinking it was better not to have anything, because you don't have anything to lose that way. No one can take anything away from you. It wasn't enough for me anymore, and Sam was the only thing I had left. So I came to find him. And there you were."

She blinked back tears, thinking she was awfully glad she was there.

"I love you, Emma. I love you for dragging me back into the world, dragging me into the middle of your family and sharing them with me, and making me feel like a human being again. Making me believe in all the possibilities between us. That I could have a place here, a home, a family, and you. That's all because of you."

She just held on to him then. There was nothing else she could do. She'd always seen all the good inside of him, all the strength, all the love.

He was wiping away her tears when Grace ran up to them and grinned at Rye. "You're here!"

"Yeah," he stepped back from Emma and ruffled Grace's hair. "I'm here. I heard there was a party today, and no way was I going to miss it."

She looked from him to Emma, unsure what to make of the smile and the tears on Emma's face.

"Don't worry," Rye said. "I'm not going to make her cry any more."

"Promise?" Grace asked, obviously torn between her loyalty to her sister and the crush she had on him.

"Promise."

She grinned again. "Can I ride back to the house with you?"

"Sure," Rye said.

Grace took him by the hand and tugged, getting him to follow her back to where the rest of the family was. He grabbed Emma's hand and pulled her along with them.

She braced herself for Sam's reaction most of all. He stood straight and tall, not smiling, but not arguing, either. They all just kind of looked at each other, not knowing what to say. Rachel finally stepped in, saying they needed to get back to the house. There were more and more people coming for Emma's party. She managed to talk Grace out of riding with Rye by saying she needed her home right away, so she could help arrange things for the party. Grace loved throwing a party.

Rachel turned to Emma. "Don't you have things to clear out of your room? Big, heavy things?"

"Yes," Emma said.

"You probably need a couple of men to haul all of it downstairs," she said, looking at Sam and Rye. "Why don't you show them where your things are, and then we'll head home."

Emma wasn't sure it was a good idea to throw the two men together at the moment. She risked a quick glance at Sam, who still hadn't said anything, and at Rye, who looked resigned to whatever was coming. She wondered just what their conversation had been like when Rye had told Sam he would be here today. And how had he put it? That he was through hiding his feelings for her. How had that gone over?

She was about to find out.

"Come with me," she told them, heading into the dorm and up the stairs.

They followed, not saying a word. She unlocked her room, where her things were all packed and boxed up, ready to be hauled away. She showed them everything that was hers, thinking of the day she'd almost gotten Rye arrested by campus security, hoping he and Sam wouldn't attract that kind of attention today.

"I'll see you downstairs," she said, grabbing one of the smallest boxes and going, against her better judgment.

Neither one of them followed. Outside, Rachel gave her a big hug. "I'm so happy for you. I know how long you've been waiting for him."

"I didn't think this day would ever come," she said, glancing back at the front of the dorm. "I'm still not sure it has."

"It's going to be fine," Rachel told her. "Sam and Rye have come a long way in the past two and a half years."

"Still... I think I'd better get back up there."

She held her breath the whole way, walked so slowly down the hall to her room, pausing just outside the door, her back against the wall, ready to start praying. But there was no argument going on inside. They were just talking.

"I can imagine the kind of man you wanted for her," Rye said. "I know I'm not that man. But I love her, and I need her. And she loves me, Sam. I spent more than two years telling myself there was no way I deserved her, and she spent the same time being miserable thinking I didn't want her. I'm not going to do that to her anymore."