The Evil Twin? (19 page)

“Long story short, the family had twins over multiple generations take each other out before they turned sixteen,” Reyan said flatly.

“What do you mean take each other out?”

“The family believed that if the twins grew up together, the stronger and the dominant one would hurt the other twin and in the process hurt each other,” he said as if he was just repeating what he had heard.

“They gave me up for adoption because I was the evil twin?” my voice blared through the living room.

“Vinnie, no…you are not being objective now,” he said softly.

“Fine, they gave up the supposedly evil child for adoption, and now they want her back because they lost their precious golden child?” I snarled, anger and agony taking over my body and added, “Anyway, I don’t give a shit about these people who are out there even if they think I am part of their family.”

“Vinnie…don’t please...” He stopped when I interjected with a follow-up question.

“How is this related to people who think they have seen me at the Indian community center? This golden twin is really that golden?” I barked.

Reyan raked his fingers through his hair as if he could not bear the toxic nature of my questions, but I didn’t care. I just needed to get all the answers.

“When your…the mother of the twins wanted to look for the lost twin, she reached out to my mother for help. She was told by your parents’ distant relatives that your parents moved to California after they adopted you,” he clarified.

“And?”

“A private investigator was hired to look for you, and the pictures of the girl who passed away were posted on the community center websites and at other locations,” he sighed heavily.

“So you knew all along that people were searching for me?” I asked my voice echoing in the high ceiling living area.

“Yes, I did,” his voice was soft so soft that it hurt to listen to him.

“You didn’t think for one second to tell me that people were searching for me? Why did you have to keep it a secret?” I asked in disbelief.

“I didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t want you to be hurt.”

“You could have told me the day we met at the bar after the accident. I was a nobody to you then,” I challenged.

“Vinnie, you don’t know what you meant to me then,” he said firmly making my body quiver and added, “When I saw you that night, I thought I died and that’s why I was seeing a girl who died two years ago, but when you talked to me, I knew you were the angel that came for me.”

“That’s bullshit Reyan. You had so many opportunities to tell me and you chose not to tell me, why?” I blasted.

“Because…because I didn’t want to lose you,” he said, his eyes boring into me.

“You and I were complete strangers when we met at the bar, why didn’t you tell me then?” I fired my questions feeling the pain build up.

“I couldn’t. I knew the night of the accident you were important to me, but I didn’t know why. I couldn’t imagine a life without you from that day. I had to see you, talk to you all the time.” His voice had the utmost sincerity, but I chose to ignore it as I burnt inside feeling betrayed.

“I trusted you. I gave myself to you. I let myself be an open book Reyan, and this is what I get in return? How can I ever trust you?” I darted.

“Sweetheart, I love you and I will love you forever.”

“That’s right you love me, and I was a fool to think that I might have fallen in love with you.” I felt nauseous and my head started to spin.

“Vinnie, I love you baby. I love you for who you are, and I don’t really care about your past or what you decide to do in the future.”

“Bunch of lies!!” I snapped getting up from the couch.

“Vinnie, I wanted you to be ready to handle the news before I broke it to you. I never expected it to come to a head so soon.”

“What would have been an opportune moment by your standards, Mr. Bhatia?”

“Baby, please.”

“Reyan, the name is Vinnie.” He looked at me with sadness looming over his face. My heart melted at the sight of pain in his eyes, but I refused to give in. He had taken his time to train me to be a softy so I would weep on his shoulder when he finally broke the news to me six months or a year down the road.

“Don’t look at me like that Reyan. For the second time in my life, I am wondering why I came into existence when no one wants me and people around me want to betray me every step of the way,” I said feeling the increasing burn.

“What are you talking about? This is in no way betrayal. I was only trying to protect you.”

“Protect me from what? Protect me from feeling bad about being given up for adoption? I give a shit about that!! People who didn’t want me are dead to me, but you…I trusted you, you meant everything to me and you didn’t have the balls to tell me the truth even when I was ransacking my brain about what the connection was between all these strangers and that couple in Starbucks?” I said, my body shivering.

“Vinnie, I am so sorry baby, I didn’t think of it that way,” he said weakly.

“No you wouldn’t because you have had a smooth- sailing life, and you don’t know what it means to let down your guard and trust someone with your life.”

I turned on my heel and stopped when I felt him move towards me, “I will fight you and kick you in your balls if you try to touch me. I will be out of here in ten minutes.”

“Vinnie, stop!! Please!!” he begged.

My heart pounded away in my chest fighting me, my body refused to move away from him. I wanted to take him into my arms and relieve him of the pain, and I knew he would do the same but I could not risk it. I didn’t need any more drama in my life.

“Just so you don’t assume that I am overreacting, let me leave you with this thought,” I said turning around to look at him and added, “I told you my parents had an accident when I was ten, and what I might not have told you was that their car was not discovered for almost two years after the accident. I spent two years of my life wondering if my parents didn’t want me and that’s why they left me behind with my aunt.”

Reyan moved swiftly and put his arms around me, and I lost all control of my emotions. The floodgates opened, and I wept on his shoulder letting out the pain and sorrow I had pent up in me since I was ten.

“I am so sorry baby.” He tightened his hold around me.

I pushed him away and looked at his hazy image in front of me and said, “I don’t need your pity. If I was able to handle the pain at that age, this is nothing.”

Tears of anger rolled down uncontrollably as I climbed up the stairs. The dress that I had on felt like it was made of cactus, when it felt like it was made from a cloud earlier that evening. I threw the clutch on the floor and pulled the dress over my head and slammed it on the floor in the bathroom and cried, “I hate you!!!!”

I collapsed to the bathroom floor wearing only my slip, crying and rolling myself into a ball on the cold floor.

Why me? What did I do wrong?

Chapter 19

My body ached, my head felt like a million pounds heavy, my heart was cold, and I had no motivation to move. Something kept bringing me back to consciousness. I opened my eyes to find myself on the bathroom floor covered in a blanket. I looked around and looked in the direction of the sound and realized my phone was ringing. I crawled on the floor unable to stand up and grabbed my clutch.

Annie’s smiling face flashed on the screen.

“Annie?” I whispered.

“Good Morning, did I catch you two butt naked in bed?” she giggled.

“No, just haven’t woke up yet. What time is it?” I said my voice croaky.

“It’s almost eight thirty, and I have been up since six,” she sighed.

“Annie, is everything okay?” I asked concerned.

“I don’t know…I couldn’t sleep, and I want to see you. I am here in the lobby, and I brought coffee. Please let me in,” she said her voice shaky.

“Sure, give me ten seconds,” I said and broke into sobs after hanging up the phone.

I went into the bedroom and punched a code on the security system that would allow Annie to take the private elevator up to the apartment. I put on a robe and pulled my hair into a bun as I took the stairs down to the living area.

Reyan was standing by the window looking at the beautiful view of the bay in the morning light. His eyes looked tired, and I could tell he had not slept all night.

“What did you tell Annie?” I fired away.

“What are you talking about?” he asked with a confused expression.

“Annie is in the lobby and she is coming up right now,” I said gritting my teeth.

“I wasn’t really in the mood to talk to any one after last night,” he retorted.

“Forget what happened last night for now…you will not tell her a single word. I don’t need her dragged into this. I will figure out how to tell her later. Is that clear?” I demanded.

He looked at me without responding, and I looked away not wanting to be weighed down by the pain in his eyes.

Annie stepped out of the elevator which was also the main entrance to the apartment, holding a tray with three cups of coffee.

“Annie…” my voice was lost in a trail of sobs as I wrapped my arms around her. She set the tray aside and wrapped her arms around me and tried to calm me down.

“Reyan, what the fuck? What happened?” Annie barked.

I pulled out of her embrace and said laughing, “I am fine, I was just so glad to see you with coffee, I couldn’t hold up.”

“I can take tears of happiness. I am glad you said something before I splashed the coffee on his face,” Annie cheered.

“What the heck are you doing here Annie? Do you have no sense of boundaries and respect for people’s privacy?” Reyan growled.

“Screw you, Reyan. I’m here for Vinnie. By the way, you are welcome,” she darted back.

“Yeah…thanks a bunch for the pathetic coffee,” he sneered and went upstairs leaving us alone downstairs.

“Everything okay with you, Vinnie?” Annie asked making me choke on my coffee.

I cleared my throat and asked, “Why do you ask and why did you wake up at six on a Saturday?” I asked softly.

“I don’t know. I woke up startled by a loud noise and then the first person I thought about was you,” Annie said softly and added laughing, “You saw how your boyfriend lectured me about privacy for showing up at eight thirty, can you imagine what he would have said if I had called at six?”

“Don’t worry about him, you know you can come by anytime,” I assured.

“Yes, I know that’s why I am here.”

“I am glad you came. I don’t know what I would do without you, Annie,” I said taking a deep breath in an attempt to calm myself.

“There, when you say something like that it scares the shit out of me,” she confessed shaking her head and added, “and another reason why I am here is because I am onto you.”

My throat went dry wondering what she meant.

“I am pretty sure the so-called sleepover invitation that was extended to me is more like a surprise birthday party for me. Right?”

“What are you talking about?” I asked hoping my voice didn’t sound shaky.

“Cut the crap, Vinnie.”

“Are you one of the X-Men gals that can read minds?” I teased.

“I knew it!!!!” she said victoriously.

“Okay, I am busted but now that you know, you can help with your own party and then pretend like you had no clue,” I said laughing.

“Not happenin, but I know what I want because IT’s My Budday!!” she rapped.

“What do you want?”

“I want the sleepover that you promised. I want a girls’ night out with you and only you. Chloe will understand if we don’t invite her.”

“Are you serious?” I asked surprised as Chloe and Annie have been friends since college.

“Yes, now go convince your broody boyfriend about spending the night with me. Go break the news to him while I call Chloe and tell her there is a change in plans. She can send out the communication to everyone because I am sure she signed up to send out the invitations.”

“You should be an X-Men, Annie,” I declared laughing.

“I know,” she winked as I went up the stairs.

I didn’t want to talk to Reyan especially after last night, but I was not ready to tell Annie and had to put on a show.

I took a deep breath before stepping back into the bedroom, as I knew Reyan was in there somewhere. I walked past the bed that was not slept in all night and went into the bathroom. I picked up the dress I had thrown on the floor, my clutch, and the blanket and turned around to put them away in my soon to be ex-closet. I turned around only to crash into Reyan dropping my clutch to the floor again.

“What the…get out of my way,” I growled.

“What did you tell her? Why is the birthday party cancelled?” He was angry, and I didn’t see the need to match it up with my anger.

“She…Annie didn’t want the party. She knew we had a party planned so she asked Chloe to cancel it,” I said in a calm tone.

“What did you tell her about us?”

“Nothing…yet,” I stuttered, realizing that I needed Reyan to pretend like nothing happened until I broke the news to Annie about our rift.

“Why not? What opportune moment are you waiting for to tell her?” He closed in, and I realized what he was trying to do. I got a taste of why he decided against breaking the news to me about everything he knew about me. It would have been so much easier if only he had told me when he was a complete stranger, and we could have started our relationship on a stronger foundation.

Too late for that.

“I will tell her…soon. I don’t want to ruin her birthday,” I uttered looking at the floor.

“Oh really, that just means I have to pretend to be your boyfriend till you feel comfortable telling
my
friend about me?” he snarled.

I gritted my teeth and took a deep breath knowing that he was just trying to instigate me.

“You may have difficulty keeping your dick in your pants, but let me remind you we have a contract in place that we will live in this house together for three months, so we have one more month to go.” I never thought I would use the contract for these purposes.

“Really, this is how it’s going to be, huh?” he said slamming my back against the wall pinning me with his body.

“Yes,” I said closing my eyes and turning my face away from his.

“If you want me to keep my side of the bargain, you will fucking do what I ask you to do.” His voice reverberated in the bathroom sending chills through my body.

“For one month only,” I reminded him.

“Yes, I know,” he said nuzzling my ear with the tip of his nose barely touching me, but I felt his warm breath burn my skin. He was angry and sad, and I had decided to deal with the turmoil after Annie’s birthday.

“Reyan, I am going out with Annie tonight,” I said flatly.

“What do you mean ‘I am’? Is the party cancelled for real?”

“She wants…she wants to go out with me. Just the two of us,” I said shakily.

“What the fuck is going on? What did you tell her?” he pressed me further against the wall with his weight, and I pushed him away unable to breathe.

“Reyan, get a hold of yourself,” I growled in a low voice.

“Why should I? Why should I do anything for you?” he was hurt, but I was angry enough to not let it bother me.

“Because you agreed to…I know you are a man of your word,” I managed to say in a firm tone without showing him how shaken up I was on the inside.

“I can choose not to abide by the contract.”

“Please, Reyan. Do it for me,” I begged.

“Why should I do it? Are you my girlfriend?” he snapped.

“I am…I will be for another month,” I said my body trembling with pain.

“Put your arms around me,” he ordered taking me into his arms. I wrapped my arms around him and held him tightly. I was angry with him and felt betrayed but could not stop myself from wanting him, to be held by him, to be protected by him.

*****

“Don’t stay in the bathroom for hours, we need to leave by eight,” I told Annie as we headed upstairs after a long day of shopping and walking around the city from one store to another.

“Okay mommy!!” she teased heading towards the guest bedroom with the dress she bought for our night out.

I didn’t see Reyan’s bike in the parking downstairs so I was sure he was away. I didn’t have the energy to face him after what happened the previous night. I blocked out the conversations and everything that happened last night just so I could get through the weekend.

It was Annie’s birthday weekend, and I wanted to spend the night with her away from my alternate past. I never thought I would connect with anyone at this level but again with the things that came to light the previous night, I wondered if that was how it felt to have a sister, a twin sister.

I shook my head fighting the thoughts that brought immense pain making my body shudder. Reyan and I made a silent agreement to be amicable for the time being and not react to our emotions.

I stepped under the shower letting the warm water wash down the aches in my muscles thinking about what it would be like not to be with Reyan. I felt my stomach twisting itself into knots and my heart clenched inside my chest making tears run down my cheeks with the water from the shower. I could not comprehend why being betrayed felt less painful that not having him in my life.

It’s too late; I just need to move on.

I stepped out of the shower and let out a squeal when I saw Reyan standing in the bathroom leaning against the vanity staring at my dripping body. I reached for the towel and wrapped it around my body in a mad rush. He stood in his gym clothes looking at me without uttering a word. I stared right back at him without giving into to the dominance.

He looked irresistible in a sleeveless t-shirt that was damp from his exercise routine at the gym.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” I asked softly.

“Do you want me to leave?”

“No.”
Seriously?

I looked away from him and reached for another towel and wrapped my dripping hair over my head.

“I am all done with the shower,” I said moving towards the vanity to put on my moisturizer. He stepped away from the vanity and walked to the other side of the bathroom and stood right behind me. I could still see him in the mirror watching me with hawk-like eyes.

I stopped what I was doing and turned around to look at him.

“Why are you looking at me like you want to eat me?” I blurted out as if I had no control on my speech.

“Do you want me to eat you?” he challenged.

“I am not in the mood for your seduction.” An inner voice I had no control over took command of the situation.

He moved slowly towards me making me grip on the marble counter of the vanity in anticipation, and I didn’t need to look at my knuckles to know they had turned white. I fought the rational in me that asked me why I wanted to be touched by the man who cut open my chest and ripped my heart out. My heart he ripped out was unfortunately still beating for him.

He came to stand a few inches away from me with his palms pressed against the edge of the marble vanity. I looked up at him taking in the sweet smell of his hot body, and my fingers let go of the stone counter wanting to touch him.

“I want you to think about why you want to wait to tell Annie about us and how it’s different from what I did,” he said running his thumb on my cheek.

“It’s not the same thing Reyan…don’t make up excuses for being…” I fumed unable to finish my sentence.

“Being what?”

“Unfaithful,” I blurted.

He took a deep breath and spoke with extreme restraint, “You can call it what you want, I call this love. I knew you were the missing piece of my life the day I met you at the bar. Take it or leave it. I am not going to sit around begging you to stay with me.”