The Exception (41 page)

I sat on the couch in the living room the next morning, nursing my cup of coffee and trying to figure out what to do. I had managed to avoid the question of going home the night before. It was fairly easy because Cane kept my mind and body occupied most of the night. But it was a new day and I knew it was do or die time.

A decision is going to have to be made.

I knew, without a doubt, that Cane was the love of my life. Even as I thought back to Decker, I never loved him like I loved Cane. But, just like it was with Decker,
my
love wasn’t the problem. It wasn’t my feelings that had me questioning everything. It was his.

He was acting like everything was fine, that he was in love with me. But I was worried, sick even, that it was just because he felt relieved that Simon was behind bars … and guilty for putting me in such a precarious position.

He had lied to me. He had kept things from me. He seemed like he was pulling away from me … and Ashley had been in his office.

Those sorts of things are exactly what Decker did before the end. If things with Cane ended up like they did with my ex-husband, I would be completely and utterly destroyed. Gutted. Annihilated.

I sat my coffee cup down on the table and put my head into my hands, praying that I would wake up and this would all be sorted out and that someone would make the decision for me. But I knew that wouldn’t happen.

I felt him watching me before I could see him, his gaze causing the little neurons in my body to go spastic. I sat up not looking up as I felt him come closer.

The sofa dipped with his weight as he sat beside me, not giving me a choice but to look. He sat there, wrapped from the waist below in a purple towel, watching me intently.

“Good morning, beautiful girl.”

I smiled softly, his grin crushing me. My heart was heavy, like it was being jerked around by a set of strings I couldn’t control.

“Max just sent me a text to make sure I made it through the night,” he winked, trying to lighten the situation. “I told him so far so good.”

“He and Kari are leaving today, right?” I asked hesitantly.

“Yeah. They are on their way to the airport now, I think.”

I looked at the floor again, my heart beginning to sink. I wasn’t ready to think about everything else. With Kari and Max leaving, it was going to be a matter of time, minutes perhaps, until Cane wanted to go back to Arizona. I just wasn’t sure what to do.
If I go back, am I going to be throwing myself into the same dynamic I have been trying to avoid? But if I don’t, will I regret it? Possibly for the rest of my life?

“What? What’s going on?” He took my hands in his and squeezed. “Jada, talk to me.”

“I know Simon is gone now, but … even before I left, before all of the Simon stuff came to light to
me
,” I raised my eyebrows, driving home my point, “I was worried.”

“About what?”

“That you were pulling away. Maybe it was because of Simon, since you obviously knew more than I did. Or maybe your new project at work. I don’t know. But then Ashley in your office just set fire to that little bit of insecurity that had been trying to turn into a wildfire on its own.”

“No. That’s crazy talk.”

I forced a swallow. “Crazy or not, that’s what I’m thinking. You asked.” I spun my ring on my finger.

“Yes, I knew about Simon when you did not and I had a lot going with that. Yes, my new project at work has been a giant pain in the fucking ass, but it will be worth it in the end.” He stroked my cheek with his thumb, his voice softening. “But the Ashley thing is bullshit. Plain and fucking simple.”

I smiled shakily, almost afraid to believe what he was saying.

Like he could read my thoughts, Cane smiled. “Believe it.”

“I want to. I never wanted anything more than I do for this to work, but—”

“But?” He sat upright, the fire back in his eyes. The Cane I remembered was back. “There are no fucking buts, Jada. I’m sick and tired of feeling like my life is over. I haven’t seen the sun shine since you left. I didn’t know what it even looked like until I saw you in that little restaurant and I never want to go a day without it now.”

He took a deep breath. “I should have been honest with you from the start. But I wasn’t. And I take responsibility for that. But I’m also taking responsibility for our future, Jada. Our future. Because my future doesn’t exist if you aren’t in it.”

The tears I had been fighting welled up again.

“I may not be perfect but I am real, Jada. I’m going to fuck up again, probably. But I told you once I would never hurt you on purpose and I haven’t. And I won’t. Ever.”

Tears silently slid down my cheeks, my emotions stripped raw. I wrapped my arms around his neck, tears pouring freely down my face. He held me tight against him, crushing our bodies together.

I held on for dear life: for my hopes, my dreams, my fears and for our future.

“Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you think is perfect, doesn’t mean that they don’t love you with all they have. And I love you with everything I am, Jada,” he whispered.

I pulled away from his embrace far too soon, but I couldn’t allow myself to get hauled back into things without really thinking them through on my own terms.

“When are you planning on leaving?” I asked, looking out the window.

He smiled. “As soon as you are ready to go home with me.”

I shook my head sadly. “Cane, I don’t think I can go now.”

He sat up straight, his eyes wild. “What do you mean you’re not going now?”

I looked away from him and towards a pic of Heather and Brian kissing and laughing at what appeared to be a concert venue. That is how things should be. Easy. Enjoyable. Fun.

“I’m not going to Arizona,” I said softly.

“Okay. So you want to wait a few days? I understand that.”

His voice was full of hope that I had to shatter.

I turned to look at him, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “Cane,” I began, “please don’t make this harder than it has to be.”

“This doesn’t have to be hard at all. You go pack your stuff and we get on a plane and go home.” He bit his lips as he watched my reaction. His mannerisms betrayed the coolness of his voice.

I had to look away from him before I spoke. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but I had to make sure that whatever I did was the right thing. If this wasn’t going to work out, I wanted to know now while I could restart easily and not be completely wrecked.

“There’s just a lot of stuff that I haven’t had time to process. I don’t want to just run back to Arizona and pretend like everything’s perfect. Decker lied to me, hid things from me so many times and I just listened to his apologizes and I—”

“I’m not fucking Decker! You can’t punish me for what he did to you!”

“I’m not punishing you for what he did to me, Cane. I am learning from what he did to me. And now that you are doing things that are very, very similar, I have to change the way I react. Otherwise, that’s the definition of insanity!”

“Jada,” he said as he knelt down in front of me, “please don’t do this.”

I looked into those blue eyes that I loved, the ones that made me feel safe and adored. There was a storm brewing. My chest burned with the feeling that I had caused that. “I’m looking out for myself. That’s all.”

“I want to look after you. You are my girl.”

I smiled sadly. It was so hard to hold myself together while I was breaking his heart. I knew I had to be strong and say what needed to be said. No time for more tears right now. “I love you. I just—I have to make sure this is the right thing. I’m not saying I won’t go back, I’m just saying I need a little time to breathe.”

“You need time to breathe? Fine. Do it from Tempe. But I’ll be damned if we have gone through all of this for you to back out now.”

“Cane, don’t do this to me. Don’t make this harder.”

“What do you want me to do, Jada?” He asked, his eyes blazing. “Do you want me to just walk away and not fight for you? Not fucking beg you to come with me? Because that’s what I can’t do. I won’t ever do that. You can’t expect me to fucking do that!”

I leaned back on the sofa, my eyes wide. “That’s not your decision to make.”

“The fuck if it isn’t!” He leaned forward, resting one of his hands on my knee. “I’ve gone my whole fucking life and never had this, never thought it was possible to have this! And now that I do, I won’t give it up. I won’t, baby. Everything I have done—every fucking thing!—has been to protect you, to give you what you deserve. I won’t back down now. I won’t lose you over this. Especially when I know you love me, too.”

He stood up, running his hand through his hair. I knew his brain was working overtime, the wheels turning wildly. “You want time?” He shrugged. “Fine. I’ll be in your room packing my shit.”

The lump that had been plaguing me formed again as his words hit home. He was really going to leave me.

It’s what I wanted.

“But I’ll be ordering
our
tickets home in about an hour. So go ahead and get your thoughts together or whatever you want to do. Because I am not leaving without you. Period.”

Smirking, he turned on his heel and walked down the hallway.

This is the Cane I know. My Cane. The Cane that won’t take no for an answer.

My body flooded with warmth, the tears changing from sorrow to love in a second as I watched him walk down the hallway. There was no point in fighting it anymore.

I recalled the flower from Pinnacle Peak.

I need to fight for what I want, not against what I need.

“What if I say no?” I asked, trying to stay mad but fighting a grin.

“You haven’t been gone that long, baby. Surely you will remember that I always get what I want.” He paused in the doorway to my room, a soft smile playing across his lips. “And the only thing I want is you.”

Cane bent down and kissed me sweetly, his eyes lit up like they used to before all the madness happened.

“I’m going to go for a run so you can say goodbye to Heather, okay? Then we can head to the hotel?” His cocky grin was back in full force and I rolled my eyes.

“That sounds good.” I shook my head as I grinned. “I’ll get my stuff gathered up while you are gone.”

He kissed me again, a little longer this time. Pulling his head back, he said, “I love you.”

My heart turned cartwheels in my chest.

Things may be all right, after all.

“I love you.”

He walked to the front door, looking casual in a pair of black mesh shorts and a grey hooded sweatshirt, and passed Heather in the doorway.

“See ya later,” he called out as he headed down the sidewalk.

Heather watched him until he was out of sight, turning to me with a wicked grin. “I’m going to guess that went well.”

I sighed happily. “It did. I think all of my insecurities just reared their head at the same time as everything else. Just a recipe for disaster, you know?”

“He’s a recipe for sex on a stick. Holy hell, Jada.”

I giggled. “I know, right?”

Heather headed to the kitchen and I got up to follow her. “So, what’s your plan now?”

“We are going to stay a night or two downtown before heading back to Arizona. I think we owe ourselves a little time together … just us, you know?”

Heather sipped her coffee, her eyes smiling at me over the brim of her mug. “Yeah. I agree. So you are leaving tonight?”

I nodded. “Yeah, when he gets back, I think. I’m supposed to get my stuff together while he’s running.”

She sat her mug on the counter top, watching me intently. “I think he makes you happy. And after everything you have been through, that makes me happy.” She narrowed her eyes. “Give yourself a little break, Jada. Give him some room to mess up. He is a guy but I think he means well. Just give him a chance.”

My eyes widened. “He has charmed you, too! That bastard!” I laughed.

She held her hands up in defense. “He came out of the bathroom yesterday before you got home without a shirt on. Those abs won me over.” She wiggled her eyebrows.

“You’re an idiot!” I laughed, shaking my head. “I’m going to get everything together. Thank you … for everything. You are such a great friend.”

She smiled widely. “I am. I really am. Now come visit me more often!”

“I will. I promise.”

She picked her mug back up and made her way to the refrigerator. “Now I’m going to eat some ice cream and pretend like my life isn’t going back to normal.” She swung open the door, taking out a tub. “Now get ready so you can leave when that hottie gets back. I can’t promise I can behave myself.”

I laughed, shaking my head as I made my way to my room.

I opened the door and spotted the red plastic cup on the table, warming my heart.

My happily-ever-after starts now. It’s not a fairy tale. It’s a choice.

With a bounce in my step, I began to gather my belongings, putting them back into my suitcase. My mind wondered to how things would be when we got home. I needed to find an apartment. I needed to come clean with my father. I needed to thank Nick, whoever he was.

There was a knock on the door.

“You left your phone in the kitchen. Here, it says it’s Max.” Heather’s hand was extended, my phone in midair.