The Expat Diaries: Misfortune Cookie (Single in the City Book 2) (16 page)

Having dispensed his cosmic insight, the master gruffly waves us away.

That was about as satisfying as a fat-free muffin. I suppose it
is
the end of the day. We probably got the last stale fortunes. That makes us 0 for 2 on the soothsaying front. At least the company is excellent. Otherwise this whole day would have been a washout. ‘What do you want to do now?’ I ask as we emerge from the building.

‘Well, we’ve got a few hours before we have to meet everyone for dinner. I know what I’d like to do.’ He grins. ‘Shall we go back to my apartment? We could have a nap or, whatever we want…’

He’s reading my mind. His bed is calling, and not for its restive powers. I’d love to skip the team bonding dinner and stay under the duvet till Sunday with my boyfriend, but he’s really excited for me to meet everyone. I’m sure it’ll be fun. Maybe not as much fun as the next few hours, but fun all the same. 

Chapter 9.

I couldn’t be having less fun in a dentist’s chair getting a root canal. At least then I’d be numb with Novocain. Yet here I am, unmedicated, except for the better part of a bottle of wine, sitting beside Sam at a table of strangers, fielding condescending questions from his supposedly fabulous friend Pete. I’m sure Sam would jump to my defense but he hasn’t got eyes in the back of his head. Which he would need to see me, since I’ve been staring at his shoulder blades for nearly an hour. His front is solidly engaged with Li Ming, whose conversation must be the most scintillating in the room.

It’s not unlike a frequent nightmare I have, where I’m desperately trying to get someone’s attention. It’s always for a really good reason too, like their hair is on fire or they’re about to walk off a cliff. No matter what I do I remain invisible, and the horror unfolds despite my best efforts.

I’ve gone twice to the loo for pep talks with myself. I haven’t been as persuasive as I’d hoped. I should just leave. Drop by the table, breezily tell Sam I’m going, and walk out. Every minute I stay just deepens the snub.

I’ve pored over every minute of this farce, trying to see if I’m somehow overreacting. Unfortunately, Stacy has already left, and isn’t answering her phone, which makes my analysis a bit lopsided. Wait till she hears what she’s missed.

Sam and I arrived at the big, busy restaurant just as Stacy did. He suggested I include her tonight, which struck me as typically thoughtful if a little naïve. She’s been dying to get another crack at him since I foiled her attack at the monastery. Now I wonder if he didn’t risk her presence just so I’d have a friend close by when he ignored me. She was only able to stay for drinks and starters before going to meet Stuart. Now I wish I’d left with her, but things hadn’t yet skidded downhill. In fact, we had a promising start, and much as I hate to admit this, Li Ming is friendly, and seems nice and fun. She’s also plain, not the Lucy Liu of my nightmares. Her face is rather round and she doesn’t wear much make-up. Still, she’s a pixie. Not a beauty, no, but fragile and innocent. There’s no reason to think she’s a threat now that I’ve seen her. And yet her lack of obvious beauty makes her all the more worrying somehow. For she certainly has Sam’s attention.

As for Pete, I don’t understand what Sam sees in him. Though I do see what women see in him, at least at first glance. He’s gorgeous – tall, broad and smoldering. It’s a shame that his personality is so unattractive.

In all the months that I’ve heard about him, it never occurred to me that he’d act like
this
. Clearly he suffers from schizophrenia, since he was charm personified to Stacy before being a dick to me. His looks must let him get away with a lot. Highlights of his delightfulness so far include his implication that I’ve latched on to Sam like some bloated tick (‘Your devotion is commendable but then, who wouldn’t do everything they could to keep hold of Sam?’) and a lecture on the exploitation of fashion (‘It’s unconscionable to warp consumers’ minds with the bullshit that they should pay more for a pair of shoes than the child who made them gets in a year’).

Sam’s other colleagues aren’t awful. They’re just economists who like to backpack, wear hemp shoes and lament the ‘bigger issues’ in life. My concern about cashmere versus merino for winter doesn’t qualify as one of these.

‘Hannah, are you planning any travel?’ Li Ming asks me over Sam’s shoulder.

‘… Yes, in fact, I’m… going to Phuket in a couple of weeks.’

‘You are?’ Sam asks.

‘Yep. Stacy and I are going for my birthday weekend. Didn’t I tell you that?’ Of course I didn’t tell him. I’ve just made it up. The surprise on his face says it’s not a bad thing to push him off balance a bit.

‘Maybe you did,’ he says. ‘That’ll be fun.’

‘It’ll be great. Stuart and Brent might go too.’ Why am I doing this? ‘Actually, it was their idea. They want to take us away. To introduce us to Asia. And celebrate my birthday.’ There. Now Sam is paying attention. ‘I may have to take a few days off, but it’ll be worth it. It’s not every day a girl gets whisked off for such a fabulous holiday, is it?’ I smile sweetly at Sam, who now looks much more sober than he did a minute ago.

‘No, I suppose not,’ he says, sounding a bit deflated.

‘Well, that sounds very nice, Hannah.’ Li Ming grins. ‘I’m sure you’ll have a wonderful time. We’ve only managed to get to the beach once so far. Your trip will be much nicer.’

My stomach heaves at this news. ‘The beach? Which beach did you go to?’ My voice doesn’t crack at the question, unlike my confidence. Please let him say he didn’t go. Or that he went but Li Ming didn’t. Or that the beach is actually a library in central Ho Chi Minh City.

‘Uh, what was it called again?’ my boyfriend asks his boss for confirmation of their love nest rendezvous destination.

‘Ha, your memory really is terrible Sam. You booked it for us! Mui Ne Bay. You should take Hannah there. She’d love it. Hannah, maybe you’ll visit us soon?’

Us
? Yes, that’s a great idea. Take me to your secret little lover’s beach. I feel sick, and it’s not just because I ate too many thousand-year eggs at dinner.

‘Yeah, Hannah, that’s a point. Why haven’t you visited Sam yet?’ Pete lobs his grenade into this already uncomfortable foxhole.

‘Well,
Pete
, I haven’t been invited.’ Surely if he’s Sam’s best friend, he’d know that.

‘What?’ Sam interjects. ‘Yes you have, Han!’

‘You haven’t invited me.’

‘I have. I always tell you that you’re welcome to come.’

‘That’s not the same thing as being invited.’

‘Isn’t it?’

‘No, it isn’t! An invitation involves extending a specific request for your presence, not just a vague, “It’ll be cool if you wanted to”’

‘I’m sorry, Han. Would you like to come to Ho Chi Minh in two weeks for the weekend?’ He’s grinning in that way that usually melts me.

‘Yes, that’d be nice, thank you,’ I say petulantly.

‘Wait, you can’t, can you?’ objects Pete. ‘You’re going to Thailand in two weeks. I’m sure you could visit Sam any other weekend though. Any weekend that Sam’s free.’

Sam shoots his friend a menacing look. Finally, he’s noticed the animosity. ‘Oh right. I guess not then. Sorry Sam, maybe another weekend. I’m pretty tired. If you don’t mind, I’m going to go.’ I get up on shaky legs. It may be a late exit, but better late than never. ‘Goodnight everybody, and thanks.’

Sam follows me out. ‘Hannah, what’s wrong? Are you okay?’

Does he really have to ask? God, men can be thick sometimes. ‘I’m fine. I just thought I’d leave you to your friends. Since you obviously want to spend time with them.’

‘Well, yes I do. But I want to spend time with you too. That’s why I thought we’d all have dinner. Han, have I done something wrong? I feel like you’re mad at me, but I don’t know why. You’re saying you’re fine but clearly you’re not.’

‘Well, how would you feel if my friends were rude to you? Pete was awful and you didn’t even notice.’

‘I’m sorry about Pete. He’s not usually like that. He shouldn’t have been rude. His issue is with me, not you. He should apologize.’

‘That’s not the point. The point is that you ignored me all night, and left me alone with a bunch of strangers.’

‘I didn’t leave you alone! I’ve been right beside you the whole night. Honestly, Han, I think you’re overreacting.’

There’s no surer way to make me see red than to tell me I’m overreacting. Of course I’m overreacting! Unlike most men, who are emotionally constipated, I have feelings. I’m not going to swallow my hurt. I’m going to make sure there’s collateral damage.

‘Overreacting? Let’s see. You’re home for forty-eight hours and decide to spend an entire evening with the same people you see every day. You invite me along, then spend the whole time ignoring me to talk to your boss. And you accuse me of overreacting because I’m upset about that.’ I’m shaking. I think it’s anger, but there may be some fear that this conversation isn’t going to end well. That’s possibly because instead of looking abjectly contrite, Sam’s face is set in a rather less accommodating manner.

‘Hannah. I arranged this dinner for you so that you could meet the people you’re so curious about. You said last night that it’d be fun, and when I suggested you invite Stacy you sounded like you were really looking forward to it. If you didn’t want to go then you should have just said so, instead of pretending you did. It’s not fair to be mad when you didn’t tell me what you were really thinking.’

So shoot me for not wanting him to think his idea sucked. Doesn’t everybody do this, glossing over little aggravations so as not to make the other person feel bad? Maybe this was bigger than a niggle, but surely my fib is justified given that Sam’s only here for two days. Besides I didn’t know my boyfriend was going to spend the evening with his back to me, did I? ‘Sam, that’s not fair. I didn’t know I didn’t want to be there until you started ignoring me.’

He shakes his head. ‘I never ignored you.’

‘You did too! You spent hours talking to Li Ming.’

‘We’ve been talking together, all three of us! You and she went on about where to get handmade shoes, remember? And about your tailor. You told her all about your fitting. True or not?’

Sure, we chatted, briefly, about fashion. And a bit about my job, and new apartment, and my time in London because she studied there too, though not with Sam. But he had his back to me. I know I’m not making that up. ‘I felt like you ignored me.’

‘Jesus, Hannah, I’m sorry if I didn’t spend every minute talking to you. I thought that since we were at a table full of people, it’d be okay to talk to the others too. Is that what you want? My complete, undivided attention?’

Yes. That’s exactly what I want from the man I’m in love with. It would be different if we lived here together. Then we’d have the luxury of all the tomorrows. But we’ve got less than twenty-four hours left. He shouldn’t
want
to share that time with others. ‘Yes,’ I tell him.

‘Well, I’m sorry. I thought that flying early to meet you yesterday, and the fact that we spent every minute, waking and sleeping, together from then till now,
alone
except for this evening, would be enough for you. I don’t know what you want from me. I can’t give you any more than I am already. If it’s not enough, I don’t really know what to do.’ Now he looks sad.

‘You were flirting with Li Ming.’ The words slip out before I can stop them.

‘What?! I was not. Han, I wasn’t.’

‘You’ve got yellow fever.’

‘What are you talking about?’ He tries to grab my hand but I yank it away.

‘Stacy says expat men all want to date Asian women. Why wouldn’t you? Li Ming’s tiny and exotic. You’re in the same field and get along so well. Maybe she wouldn’t mind being ignored. Not that you were ignoring her.’

He stares at me. ‘Are you saying you want me to date Li Ming?’

‘I’m saying I don’t want to stand in your way. Listen, this has been hard, being in different countries, hasn’t it? Not just for you, you know. I’ve moved 6,000 miles and I’m ready to start my life here, my social life and my love life. I can’t do that while my boyfriend is living somewhere else, visiting every few weeks.’

That’s shocking him back to his senses. See how you like the idea of losing me, Sam. He’s nodding slowly, as realization dawns.

‘… You’re right.’ He sighs, his eyes bright. ‘This isn’t fun. And it isn’t fair.’

‘Thank you.’ Finally he understands. I take his hand and he squeezes it back.

‘I don’t know when I’ll be back in Hong Kong,’ he says. ‘Honestly, the project seems to be dragging on. I’m sorry, I’ve been completely selfish. I’ve convinced you to move here and now I’m not even here. That’s not fair to you. So you’re right.’

‘I am?’ Is he saying what I think he’s saying? He’s moving back. We’ll no longer be in limbo, and can start to live our life together as we, I, he planned. I can finally start answering Mom’s calls. And Stacy will stop making I-told-you-so faces every time I mention my boyfriend.

‘Absolutely,’ he says thickly. ‘I hate this but… it isn’t fair. We should be free to see other people. I’m sorry I’ve been so selfish. You’re right, it’s not fair to either of us right now. Come here.’ He pulls me into his arms, burying his face in my hair.