The Falconer (Elizabeth May) (8 page)

Oh, God
.

Sometimes I forget faeries don’t age. They simply exist, like trees, or rocks. They can be killed, but if left alone, they remain unchanged. Perhaps this is why Kiaran is the way he is. Thousands of years have scrubbed him clean, jaded him beyond measure.

Kiaran glances at me. ‘Well? Tell me about your future.’

‘I used to have plans for my life, but . . . but they don’t fit any more. That isn’t what I want now.’

I used to daydream about the wedding and husband I would one day have. I remember describing the most elaborate ceremonies to my mother while she helped me tinker with my inventions, hands soiled with grease, fingernails torn. My fantasies were full of ivory silks and pink rosebuds and a man who would love me unconditionally.

Now I no longer see marriage, or a husband, or children in my future. There’s no love. I see the same onyx expanse that my painful memories are stuffed into, dark and empty.

‘Perhaps they never fitted you.’ His eyes meet mine then. ‘We all have to find out who we are, Kam. One way or another.’

There’s such a clear hint of understanding there that for an instant, I wish he would say some words to comfort me, useless though they might be. I almost tell him something else about me, something personal, just to see if he’ll do the same.

The unexpected taste of witch hazel and iron spreads swiftly through my mouth. So sudden I’m left gasping.

‘Kam?’

Something moves behind Kiaran – the stark glint of metal in the moonlight. I shove him out of the way, and a heavy war hammer swings right at me.

Chapter 10

I
bend my knees and duck. The hammer sweeps over my head so fast that the metal whistles.

My assailant snarls, a low, reverberating sound. I look up and, for the first time ever facing a faery, I go cold with dread.

The massive creature towers above me, lean and sinewy, with thick, muscular arms and hands big enough to crush me with a single blow. Leathery skin stretches over the sharply angled features of its face. Covering its cheeks, eyes, and the upper part of its nose is a dirty demi-mask made from a human’s facial bones. Through the hollowed-out eye cavities, it watches me with a dark, ferocious glare.

Something else attracts my attention. The thick, wet substance that glistens across the faery’s forehead.

Blood. But that’s impossible.

I glance quickly at Kiaran. He’s standing in the middle of the bridge and doesn’t look at all surprised. ‘It’s a redcap,’ I say. ‘You told me they were—’

The redcap charges me. It swings that hammer as if it weighs nothing, so fast that I barely have time to react. I spin my body and roll to the ground. The hammer smashes into the cobbles beside my head and stone splinters.

I push to my feet,
sgian dubh
already in hand, my pulse racing. I’m not trained to fight a redcap. Kiaran told me they were trapped under the city with the
daoine sìth
.

The redcap advances with amazing speed. I try to retreat far enough to throw my dirk, but the faery is too fast. I dodge the hammer just in time.

Where the hell is Kiaran?
I look over at the balustrade to see him leaning against it, still watching. After I kill this redcap, I plan to wallop him next, hard enough to bruise that unblemished fae skin of his.

‘Could you please –’ I duck the hammer again ‘–
help!
’ Particles of rock fly into the air.

Kiaran remains standing there, his arms crossed. ‘You look to me to save you? That is a mistake.’

‘Damn you, Kiaran MacKay!’

I’m filled with rage.
Save
me? I never asked to be saved. I don’t need it. I don’t need Kiaran. All I need is this – anger that takes me over until I burn with it.

I run at the redcap, my feet sprinting hard across the broken cobblestone road. The redcap charges, too. Just before our bodies collide, I leap into the air with the
sgian dubh
still in hand, grabbing the creature’s meaty shoulder to launch myself over its back.

I hit the ground in a crouch, dropping low to plunge the blade into the base of its spine, the only place on its body Kiaran told me iron can penetrate.

The redcap howls and hunches over in pain. I tear the war hammer out of its grasp. It’s heavy and dragging in my grip, but I don’t care.

I look over at Kiaran and smile. ‘This is me saving myself.’

I swing the hammer back and slam it into the redcap’s temple. Blood bursts at me, splatters warm across my face. And a single thought echoes in my mind:
More
.

The redcap staggers and spits blood. It falls to its knees on the cobbles and I see the first gleam of fear in its eyes as I approach. I swing the hammer again. The metal head strikes the faery’s massive torso and it sprawls onto the street, coughing up more blood onto the destroyed cobbles. Time for this to end.

I throw the hammer to the ground and approach Kiaran. His gaze is bottomless, unfathomable. I lean in, indecently close.

‘You underestimate me,’ I whisper. ‘And that is a mistake.’

Kiaran is entirely still as I slide his own weapon from its sheath at his hip and step back. The blade is long and curved, made from some kind of golden, glittering metal. From hilt to point, elaborate fernlike patterns of silver are embedded in the gold. An immortal weapon, made to kill faeries.

Kiaran says nothing as I return to the redcap. It’s still gasping on the ground, though its injuries will heal soon. I have to kill it before it recovers.

I kneel next to the redcap and slit its throat.

The result is immediate. The redcap’s power is so strong, it courses through my chest and fills the empty expanse inside me. I revel in the feel of rain on my skin and the energy sweeping through my veins. If only—

The blade is knocked from my grip. A colossal hand grabs me by the throat – another redcap.
What on earth
? It lifts me easily into the air and my legs dangle.

I gasp for air and the redcap snarls, baring glistening sharp teeth stained with blood, its breath foul with rot. It relishes this. It enjoys watching people suffer, like every other disgusting faery I’ve fought.

I plant my hands on its arms, using them to lever my body up and swing my leg in a strong, sure kick under the redcap’s chin. It’s surprised enough that it drops me.

As I hit the ground, my teeth snap together and I bite my tongue. The coppery tang of blood fills my mouth as I stumble.

The redcap swings its hammer again. I roll and it just misses me. More of the bridge’s balustrade crumbles. Then I remember: the redcap may have a hammer, but I still have my watch fob. I reach into my pocket and simultaneously press the two buttons on the clock face to release its concealed retractable claws. The metal talons emerge with a soft click, sharp and ready.

The redcap surges towards me again, arms wide. Diving between its legs, I roll into a crouch and thrust the explosive device against the redcap’s lower back.

The redcap howls and swings its body around. I move with it, using all the skill learned from hours of endless, boring dance lessons. Twisting my body, I grasp its arm to hold it still just long enough to push the buttons on the clock’s face again, so the claws dig into its flesh.

I scramble to my feet and sprint to Kiaran.

‘What are you doing?’

I grin. ‘You’ll see.’

I pull him along with me, urging him to run faster and faster as I try to calculate a safe distance from the explosion, based on the quantity of black powder I’ve packed into the fob watch. The redcap’s heavy, pounding footfalls are loud behind us and my breathing quickens as I try to put more space between us and the faery.

Four
. My legs pump harder and I shove Kiaran in front of me.
Three
. I throw myself at him, rolling us so his indestructible body protects me from the direct blast.
Two
. I hold my breath and press my palms over my ears.
One
.

Even my hands over my ears don’t muffle the boom. Clouds of dust boil outwards as the blast lights the sky orange. The most remarkable part is that underneath the orange is a vivid blue in a shade I’ve never seen before. Oh, my. These must be the colours a faery gives off when its biological material reacts to the black powder. How interesting.

I frown at the falling debris. The device shouldn’t have had that much power. Who knew faeries exploded so magnificently? I certainly don’t want the faery who murdered my mother to die that quickly when I find her.

Kiaran is so still beside me, his heart a heavy, soothing rhythm against my cheek. I’m unable to hear it because of the blast, but I can feel it. I watch the dust settle across the street and my body calms. The rain patters around us.

Kiaran shifts his body away from mine. I awkwardly clear my throat and stand to stare at the massive, gaping hole where half of North Bridge once stood. My ears pop and my hearing returns, though still a bit muffled.

‘Well,’ I say, working my jaw to pop my ears again. ‘I didn’t expect that.’

‘Coincidence. Neither did I.’

Kiaran’s tone surprises me. Oh goodness, his eyes are glowing as he gets to his feet. He brushes the debris off his torn clothes – bits of smoking rock that might have severely injured me if I hadn’t used him as a shield.

‘Black powder is a light explosive,’ I say defensively. ‘I didn’t factor in the redcap’s reaction to the
seilgflùr
– are you angry?’

A snarl reverberates in the night.

Kiaran and I turn to the remains of North Bridge. Across the wreckage stands a third redcap. Oh dear. Three faeries in one night isn’t at all normal.

My hands clench into fists as the faery jumps across the remains of the bridge, graceful despite its large body. It doesn’t matter that I don’t have an effective weapon. I will hit it until my fists are raw. I will bite and claw to survive if I have to.

The redcap runs towards me, snapping sharp teeth.

Kiaran steps between us. The redcap comes to a halt and stares at him in surprise. It’s as if . . . as if the redcap recognises Kiaran. Neither of them speaks. Kiaran tilts his head in that inhuman way of his.

I never see him move. One moment, nothing. The next, he’s holding the redcap’s dripping heart in his hand.

I gasp in horror as the redcap makes an awful choking sound and falls to its knees. Blood slides thick down Kiaran’s wrist and stains his white shirt. He’s still holding the dripping heart.
Still holding the heart
. . .

And I’m struck with a memory before I can even think to suppress it. Blood soaking through my mother’s dress. Slick and dark on her pale skin. Thick lashes frame her eyes as they stare wide at the sky, glazed over and dead inside.

I watch mutely as Kiaran plants his heavy boot in the centre of the redcap’s massive chest and shoves the faery over the bridge’s remains. He tosses the heart after it.

Crimson suits you best
, a voice from my memories says with a laugh.

No
. I thrust that memory away. I’m left with a rage that consumes me, brutal and destructive. I hate faeries. I hate them for what they stole from me, for what I am. For that night I spent so broken that I couldn’t even mourn someone I loved.

I clench my jaw and stride over to Kiaran. He looks up as I approach, his eyes blazing with unnatural light, and that only makes it worse. He’s one of them. He’ll never understand what he just did to me.

‘Kam—’

I slam my fist into his face so hard, it breaks my skin. My knuckles bleed from the impact, but he doesn’t even stumble.

‘Enough,’ he says.

I hit him again. Again. The blows have no apparent effect. I’ll keep trying until I see a mark, until something breaks.

He grabs my shoulders, fingers digging in hard enough to bruise. ‘
Enough
.’ His eyes search my face, as if he can see that broken part of me. ‘Kam? Are you with me?’ He says it so softly, with a hint of humanity I’ve never heard from him before.

It makes me want to hit him again. I can’t let him do this to me. I try to gain control over myself and my memories again, burying them deep down inside me where they belong.

‘He knew you,’ I whisper hoarsely. I won’t explain to Kiaran what just happened, or that I’m horrified by what he did because it reminded me that he is one of
them
. ‘That redcap
knew
you and you
lied
to me.’

The near-compassionate look is gone, and he’s back to cold Kiaran. His grip is so tight on me now that I almost cry out. ‘
A bhuraidh tha thu ann
.’

‘I don’t speak your bloody language.’

‘I said you’re a fool! Do you know what you’ve done?’

My breathing is quick and hard. ‘Hit you.’ I lift my chin. ‘Killed redcaps. That’s what you trained me for. I saved
myself
.’

‘That –’ he nods to the bridge ‘– was not something I taught you. Where the hell did you get that explosive?’

‘I built it,’ I say through clenched teeth. ‘You always told me to do whatever was necessary to slaughter the fae, and I did exactly that.’

He taught me that was all that mattered. Hunt, mutilate, kill and survive. If I didn’t already have the instinctual urge to murder, Kiaran would have taught me that as well. His hatred for them mirrors my own.

‘Let go of me,’ I say when he doesn’t respond.

He doesn’t release me. Instead, he only pulls me closer. I receive the full effect of his burning gaze and I shiver.

‘You’ve been killing them, haven’t you?’ His voice is low. Emotions thicken his melodic accent and it surprises me so much that I’m not certain how to respond. He shakes me once. ‘Alone. Without me. When I explicitly told you not to.’

I’ve never seen him so out of control before. Whatever emotions he might feel are always so carefully reined in, coiled tight.

‘Aye,’ I say. ‘And I’ll do it again whenever I want.’

‘How long, Kam?’

I’m startled by the severity of his voice.

‘Just over a fortnight.’ Just after the ball when I was reintroduced into society. I went hunting with Kiaran, and when we finished, he left me in one of the underground wynds with a dead faery at my feet. As I relished the last remnants of its power, I sensed another come in with its victim. I couldn’t resist. And I couldn’t resist killing on my own the night after that, and the night after that. My new ritual.