The Fallen (Angelic Redemption) (22 page)

“Did you brush my teeth?”

Roman nodded without smiling, no longer able to
feign strength or calm. Lila smiled at the idea of him taking care of her. For
the first time, she didn’t mind being babied and was just happy to have him
close. Reaching for his hand, she sighed.

“I guess that whole knowing every inch of my body
thing came in handy during the bathing process, huh?”

Roman still refused to smile, even as he took her
hand.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I just wanted you to
stay with me.”

“Hush. We both know I wouldn’t be here, if God
didn’t will it.”

Roman nodded, yet showed no signs of believing
her words.

“I had a dream about Ivy,” Lila said, unsure how
to distract from all of the guilt written on his face.

“What kind of dream? Do you remember her?”

“No, but I know where her new pack is.”

Roman’s sad face finally perked up and he glanced
at the door then back at Lila.

“The hunter at the restaurant was from your pack
too. Sophie ID’d her from a picture. I guess Gus is right about the old gang getting
back together.”

“I also dreamed of Micah.”

Roman smiled just a hint, still bothered by her
suffering, even as God’s plan gained clarity. He held her hand and sat silently
as the IV dripped next to him. Lila watched Roman, wishing she knew how to make
him happy, but he was still a stranger to her in so many ways.

Neither spoke which allowed Lila to survey her
body, wiggling her toes and trying to lift her legs. Both actions took enough
effort to tire her. Exhausted after being awake a whole ten minutes, she accepted
her vulnerability. If something attacked right then, Lila could do no more than
watch it happen.

Outside the sun dipped over the horizon and the
natural light in the room slipped away. The growing darkness sent a chill down
Lila’s spine and she felt the fear returning.

Outside in the adjoining yard, the watcher dogs
growled at one another, playfully fighting. Even knowing what the sounds and
darkness meant, Lila could only think of her dream and the sense of God’s
abandonment. Giving into her fear, she pulled at Roman’s hand.

“I need you to be closer.”

“Are you in pain?”

“No,” Lila said, eyeing the darkening evening.

Roman studied Lila for a moment and she started
to worry he might refuse to embrace her. He seemed almost afraid of her now.
Whatever was behind his hesitancy, he forced himself to lie down.

Studying his beautiful face, Lila remembered her
fear of losing him as she lay dying in the parking lot. Now, he was with her
again, his warm touch soothing away her pain and fear.

“Can you keep a secret?” Lila said.

Roman nodded, his eyes hypnotized by her wound.

“This is something between you and me and God.
You’ll never tell anyone, right?”

Curious now, Roman looked into Lila’s eyes. “What
is it?”

“I know we aren’t meant for such things and I
feel guilty for even suggesting a desire for this, but I do wish we could just
walk away from this mission for a little bit. Just be alone, so we could get to
know each another again.”

Roman nodded. “All hunters experience moments of
weakness.”

Lila frowned as her hazel eyes threatened tears.
“Why are you talking to me like I’m some trainee?”

Fidgeting on the bed, Roman looked ready to get
up. He finally sighed.

“I don’t know what you want me to say?”

“I’m scared. I’ve lost my confidence. Can’t you
give me a pep talk, instead of speaking to me like I’m a newbie hunter you
don’t know?”

“Of course, you’re scared. You died and are in
pain. Hunters don’t usually suffer from their wounds like you have. When you
died before, God took away the memories of the suffering and fear. This time
you don’t have that luxury, so you’re going to feel vulnerable. It will pass
with time.”

“Thanks, doctor,” Lila said, turning away from
him and facing the wall, even if the movements took too much energy and caused
too much pain.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice tired and
broken. “I just don’t know what you want me to say?”

“Nothing. I want you to say nothing because you
were less annoying when you were just sitting there feeling guilty. In fact,
maybe you should leave?”

Lila didn’t want Roman to go. If he did leave
though, she wanted someone else to stay with her. The dogs’ growling itched at
her, racketing up her fear.

Roman didn’t leave though. He laid next to her
quietly for what felt like forever before finding his voice again.

“I could have saved you that first time. Back
when you went with Micah, that didn’t have to happen. I want to blame you, but
I could have saved you, saved the whole pack, maybe even Micah.”

Saying nothing, Lila was fearful he might stop
talking if she moved even an inch.

“Micah knew you were my mate and he used you as a
way to force me to join his army. I knew he was manipulating me, but I went
along with it because I wanted you. And that need for you made me too weak to
force you to choose between me and Micah. I told myself you wouldn’t leave him
if I asked, but that was a lie. The truth was I wanted to believe Micah could
close the gateways and we could live as humans. I wanted to have you to myself
in a safe life, so I didn’t force you to make a choice years ago that would
have saved you.”

Lila turned to face him, grimacing in pain from
the movements, but needing to look into his eyes.

“I did always sense somehow that this was all
your fault.”

Roman frowned which made her laugh.

“It’s not funny.”

“I know,” she said, still grinning. “I want you
to want me like you did then. You know, all dumb and needy, like I want you
now. Do you still feel that way?”

Roman nodded, yet his gaze focused on her wound
again.

“I’m still scared, but maybe your confession did
make me feel less guilty for wanting a vacation. I guess that’s not in the
cards. Maybe after we stop the Reaper, find my old pack, free Micah, and close
the gateways, we’ll find time for ourselves.”

“Pretty simple really.”

Lila took his hand in hers and pressed it against
her chest, forgetting the wound and just wishing he could understand how much she
needed him.

“I love you,” she said, smiling.

Roman flinched at her words and Lila’s smile
faded.

“Do you still love me?”

“Of course.”

Unconvinced, she let go of his hand. “I didn’t
want to die. You get that, right? I didn’t just stand there and let that demon
kill me. I wanted to live, to complete my mission, and be with you. You
understand that I would never willingly give up what we have, don’t you?”

Roman finally forced himself to look into Lila’s
eyes, even if it seemed painful for him to do so. She spotted the guilt in his
eyes and maybe something else.

“I’m just tired. These last few days have been
difficult and I keep trying to say the right things to you and Sophie and my
old pack. I spent so many years alone and now I’m responsible for everyone
understanding everything. I’m just tired of trying right now. I do love you and
I know God is leading us down a path and I have faith in that. I just can’t
focus on anything right now. Does that make sense?”

Lila nodded, taking his hand again, but this time
tentatively, afraid he might pull it away. “I don’t want you to be mad at me.”

“I’m not mad. I’m relieved you’re feeling
better,” he said, kissing her hand.

Lila smiled, even if she felt his kiss and words
were forced. While Roman might just be tired, Lila feared something else was
wrong. Something she couldn’t know because in reality she didn’t know him.
Whatever caused his distance, she realized complaining about it was only going
to make matters worse.

“I am feeling better, but I’m still essentially
defenseless. Will you stay with me?”

“Of course.”

Lila cuddled against him. She did sense he only
planned to stay because he felt it was his duty, instead of him actually enjoying
her company anymore. Without any knowledge of how long she had been dead, Lila
realized many things had changed while she was out of the picture.

“Sophie looked pretty funny with the shotgun
earlier. Is she still onboard?”

Roman nodded with a little smile. “There’s a
female hunter here whose pack was killed by the Reaper and Sophie’s just
convinced Karen knows more than she’s admitting. Your fragile little friend is now
talking about tearing off fingernails to retrieve the info. Yeah, I’d say she’s
onboard.”

“I guess you were right about her being tougher
than I thought. Tomorrow we’ll get that info from Karen and start making plans
to hunt down the Reaper.”

Roman frowned, pulling away from her slightly.
“You won’t be ready by tomorrow to do much of anything.”

“I don’t need to be a hundred percent. Joaquin is
Sophie’s battle. I think that’s obvious now. We just need to give her cover. I
can do that easily at seventy five percent. In a day or two, I can manage seventy
five percent.”

“We’ll see.”

“Glass half full, Roman. Always half full,” she
said, pressing her face against his chest.

“Two days,” he said with a sigh. “Glass half
full. Got it.”

Lila smiled, pulling him even closer whether he
liked it or not.

“I’m glad you brought me back,” she whispered,
feeling fatigue tug at her. “I didn’t want to start over again.”

“Everything will be alright.”

As the light faded in the room and dusk shifted
into night, the growing darkness terrified Lila. She felt less like a hunter
and more like a scared child. Roman though felt warm and powerful against her.

“Stay with me please,” she said, starting to
panic again. “I’m defenseless and I feel…just stay with me, okay? Don’t leave
unless it’s an emergency. Not for anything because if I can feel you next to
me, I’ll know what’s real and what’s just a dream.”

“I won’t leave. I promise.”

Sighing, Lila closed her eyes. Even fearful of
what she might dream, she felt more connected to Roman and this world now.

Her chest wound ached throughout the night, never
fading completely. Every few hours, she heard voices, felt movement, and the
pain lessened as more medicine pumped into her system. Even with the worst
over, Lila knew the next few days promised more hardship. A new plan was
emerging though and this knowledge caused Lila to smile all night.

The new family left the church and drove to a
town Father Francisco recommended. The downpour continued long after reaching
their destination and the whole night through, giving the hotel rooms an eerie
echo.

In the adjoining room, Maximo slept soundly, unconcerned
by the storm. Even so, Heidi slipped out of bed every hour to check on him. She
always returned with a look of slight paranoia on her lovely face.

Joaquin felt mesmerized by Heidi’s gaze. Watching
her in the dark room, he knew she must be nervous about her first time, but she
showed not a hint of fear.

“I prayed and the Lord brought you to me,” Heidi
whispered. “You’re my gift.”

Joaquin flinched from the enormity of his love
for his wife.

Wife
.
The word felt strange, almost as strange as the idea of feeling love. For so
many years, he took from women as they took from him. No love, no tenderness, often
no names. Joaquin never felt pleasure from a woman’s touch though. No heat or relief
– for he was empty. Just as he could not enjoy drink or food, he could not enjoy
pleasures of the flesh.

Never gentle before, Joaquin worried he might
hurt or frighten Heidi. She thought of him as a gift and he feared
disappointing her. How could she not feel disenchanted by the dark man meant to
love her?

Under the sheets, Heidi waited for him as his
hand slid over her bare skin. Even in the darkness, her eyes held warmth. When
his fingers teased her, she leaned her head back and sighed, trusting him completely.

Joaquin lowered his lips to her throat and sucked
at the beating of her heart. Heidi’s hands were tentative, nervous maybe, but
greedy still. She ran them through his dark hair then gripped him as his mouth explored.

Joaquin had never felt passion before. Now, his
heart raced as his body heated. He hungered for Heidi, sucking desperately at
her flesh, wanting to hear her sigh and moan. Kissing Heidi deeply, Joaquin was
desperate to be a part of her. Heidi moaned into his mouth, her desire soothing
his worries as he moved his body over hers. Heidi immediately wrapped her limbs
around him possessively. Her hands gripped him, nails clawing at his back while
he caressed her.

“No one before, Heidi. I’ve loved no one before
and I’ll never love again. You are the only one.”