The Fancy (20 page)

up on it.”

Sarah went to the table for Quinton’s drink,

handing it to him, so that both men could raise their

glasses and with a toast, the agreement was made.

The men departed to speak of men things and

The men departed to speak of men things and

planning, while smoking and drinking in Quinton’s

study. Moose decided to join them, leaving the

women in the kitchen to talk and finish the baskets.

“Lady Caine, I am at your disposal.”

Sarah’s surprise was instant, “No, not Lady

Caine, Sarah, please.” She murmured low, not

wanting Quinton to hear.

El en smiled, “Do not reject your deserving title;

besides, I might as wel accustom myself to

addressing you in that way now, if I am to dwel in

England on your Lord’s estates.”

Sarah dropped into a nearby chair trying to

cope with her new way of thinking, with her eyes

meeting El en’s, she expressed her fears, “I am not

meant for this.”

Once more, she spoke low, Quinton would be

angry to hear her.

El en sat across the table from her, smiling

sympathetical y, she began to explain from her point

of view, “You do know, that there are African rulers,

kings? That there have been African queens,

leaders?”

“Quinton has said, yes – I know and yet-…”

“Stop – Sarah, Lady Caine –
he
chose
yo-o-

ou;
You – to be his Lady. Nothing else matters.” She

paused to let that sink in, reaching across the table,

she lightly patted Sarah’s hand, finishing with, “In

truth, al that matters – is that you become, what your

husband has chosen you to be.
You
have no more to

learn, than I would - had he chosen me, or another

woman of this vil age, white or not. While I know of

the royals, while I know of the elite class, my life was

spent in travels with my parents. They are explorers,

scientist; they study man. Erwin worked for my father,

was constantly on hand to construct whatever

structure he might need, wherever we settled during

his travels. So the many etiquettes and graces

common to them, I have missed.” Once more, she

paused to let those words sink in.

Sighing, Sarah nodded and said, “True, yes,

perhaps – yet, there is stil one difference that wil

always be seen first.”

They both knew what she was saying.

“Only at the beginning; everyone judges at first

sight. They only need a moment, to watch you; to

hear you; to get to know you. Know this – after that

time has been given, your one difference wil fade.”

“Trust me when I say, this idea, this new way of

thinking, this new order and structure, was beaten

into your people, forced into them to believe this

place you’ve been given. It is a place made up by

men who are guilty of a monumental injustice to their

fel ow man. This place was not made by God. Your

husband, Lord Caine, has taken your hand and said,

not you – not you – you do not belong in that place.

Believe him Lady Caine, believe him.”

“Got no choice-…” Sarah blushed, taking a

deep breath, “What choice have I?” She corrected

herself, “For reasons I cannot possibly know, I was

given to him.”

“Yes, you were and – he married you.”

“Only because he had no choice.”

El en sat back, shaking her head and smiling,

“Lady Caine, I’m afraid in this, you are wrong. He

had a choice.”

“No, it is only because he gave his word to me,

that he would keep me always, they made it

impossible-…”

Cutting her off and shaking her head stil , “He –

had – a choice and he made it. Sil y goose, his

choice had nothing to do with honor, or your

choice had nothing to do with honor, or your

knowledge of healing, his choice was because he

loves you. He is, in love with you. There was no other

choice in this for him. Just as I had no choice but to

leave my parents in marrying Erwin, I love my

husband, I would fol ow him anywhere, I long to fulfil

his desires, love – takes away choice.”

Sarah sat thinking her words over. Yes, she

knew that he had affection for her; and because he

was a good man, he treated her wel ; because she

made things easy for him to do what he desired

most, thus, he made sure that he could keep her; he

made love to her because al men must give into that

beast that makes them need to have a woman for

their bed.

But love? No…

White men did not love their wenches, there

was no need to love them, they could simply have

them and that, was that.

She would say no more to El en; it was obvious

that she didn’t understand the way of things as Sarah

did. She didn’t know the kind of man Quinton was,

he was very proud; good; God fearing with a drive to

teach and talk. She was nothing more than al the

things he could use, al rol ed into one – and that,

brought him pleasure, thus – his choice. And

because she loved him, she would be al that he

wanted, because he wanted it.

“You don’t believe me, do you? I can see it in

your eyes, I can read you so clearly, you don’t

believe that he loves you.”

“Quinton, is a good man. He has honor and

wishes to do right, not wrong. That is why, he chose

me.” The way she said it, El en could tel , she had

shut down and did not wish to discuss it anymore.

“You have spoken Lady Caine, I concede. Let

us finish these baskets.”

The rest of their time was spent doing just that,

once al stew pots were fil ed, and al was placed

within each basket, and tied with strong hemp, with

notes of glad tidings and instructions on how to use

the tinctures and tea with each, and a prayer that al

could read; the men suited up, loaded the baskets

into the carriage, with Moose riding along, they

headed out, delivering them; that night and the next,

the Murray’s stayed with them, getting closer, getting

to know each other better and making plans.

Together, they attended the church service on

Christmas day to find that most of the town’s folk,

greeted the Caine’s with smiles of acceptance. The

baskets of venison stew – tea and tinctures were a

hit as too many of the families had a need for them –

the food as wel the rest – the kindness given them

was not easily forgotten. To Sarah’s surprise, not

one person avoided them, but thanked them,

especial y her, because they knew that she had been

the one to prepare it.

Such a response gave Sarah doubts about

whether they should leave in the spring for England –

she wasn’t so sure. The Murray’s had gone home

and just in the nick of time as they were facing a

fierce snow storm – thankful y, they didn’t have very

far to travel.

Sarah was lying on her side in bed watching

Quinton at his desk doing what he did every night,

journaling; Moose out cold beside his chair. Nothing

but the crackling of the fire broke the peace within

their room with Sarah waiting for him to complete his

thoughts – because she had thoughts of her own

swirling about her head. Soon he rose, stretched,

blew out the candle there and made his way to bed.

Sitting on the side of it, he pul ed his night shirt

off and slid in under the covers, nude. He was

aroused because she’d had her monthly and was

now clear of it once more – making love to her was

paramount in his mind. Moving to the middle of the

bed, he pul ed her close to him, leaning over to kiss

her. Sarah tucked her chin into her neck turning from

him just a bit, a clear enough indication to let him

know something was not yet right, “I thought – your

menses had passed?”

She nodded in response and murmured low, “It

has.”

Quinton propped his head in his palm lying on

his side gazing down at her in the soft glow of the

lantern light beside their bed. “I see, hmmm – are

you not wel ?”

“I am wel .”

His finger tapped her nose, and lightly

caressed the corner of her mouth, “Tel me then, why

do you deny me?”

“I would deny you nothing.”

“Ah, so – you have something you wish to

discuss with me, is that it?”

Her eyes then met his, nodding her head, and

then, “Yes, I would discuss, what is on my mind.”

then, “Yes, I would discuss, what is on my mind.”

“Very wel , go ahead, let’s hear it.”

“Must we, go to England?”

“Ah – I should have known. Yes, they were al

very kind to us. Were they our only problem, I would

say, here we shal settle to make our home. In truth,

what you must know is that they aren’t our only

problem. There are others – who consider

themselves in places of power – who feel that they

are the law, they are the ones we must concern

ourselves with.”

“They married us; surely they wil leave us alone

now.”

“I would not chance it – I know men. Before I

disclosed who I am, they saw me as one of them,

now – since I laid bare a truth that may even now be

festering away with them and since I also have you –

we have not seen the last of them. Winter, cold, the

struggle to endure such harsh conditions – that and

that alone has given us this break.”

“However, with the arrival of spring, they wil

have grown restless, bored – and wil seek me out

for only God knows what purpose. Not for a moment,

do I believe it wil be for the need of good – no, not at

al . My decision stands – we wil leave this place first

chance.”

Sarah sighed, nodding and giving up any

hopes of avoiding an uncertain future among his

people.

“There is more, I can see it. You are my wife

and I would not have secrets between us, what more

is there?”

“I am afraid.”

“Of what?”

“The unknown – England – dinner parties –

greetings – table settings – servants. Who am I that I

should direct a household and be cal ed, Lady?”

“My wife! That is who you are, my wife,

Countess of WhistHirst!”

“I do not feel those things – I am a slave, a

fancy, I am darkness, you are light – they wil not

accept me.”

“They wil have no choice!”

“I can stil be with you, if you so desire. Many

have done so, a wife and then, me – a fancy.”

He grabbed her jaw, turning her face up to him,

“YOU – are my wife! I wil have no other! Do you hear

- no one but you!”

“Why Quinton? Why me? It is not done-…”

“How do you know it is not done? What

knowledge have you other than this nonsense they

have tricked you into accepting? Where have you

traveled but in the bowels of a ship from one master

to another that you can be so certain, it is not done?

How many men do you know that you can be so

adamant in your decision to give up? Wel ?”

Sarah shielded her eyes once more, looking

towards the end of the bed, unable to answer him.

He was angry with her for saying those things, and

yet, there was no way to make him understand that

she must be the one to stand before al his people

and know that they would see her as nothing more,

than a common slave, a bedwench, a fancy. How did

one face so many with the face that God had given

her? The face of a slave! There was no disguise to

be had that she could hide behind in which to trick

them. They would al stand before her and think,

‘Who are you to carry the title, Lady, to direct us,

order us and think that we will blindly follow, who are

you? You are a slave, a negro slave!’

“Look at me.”

She could not.

“Did you hear me, I said – look at me.” He

forced her head back into the pil ow so that she

would.

“I cannot do this thing you ask of me!”

“You can read – already! Getting better with

each day! You can write already – improving day by

day! There are many, white women who cannot read

or write! Yes, and even among those of the elite, this

is so! Yes, you heard correctly.” He eased the

pressure of his fingers and caressed where he was

certain he may have hurt her.

“You, already have an advantage over many.