Read The Fashion Hound Murders Online
Authors: Elaine Viets
Tags: #Fiction, #Mystery & Detective, #Cozy, #Women Sleuths, #Amateur Sleuth, #General
“Rosie! Bad dog,” her owner said. “Bring that back.”
Rosie whimpered and hunkered down, while her owner dragged her out by the collar. “I’m so embarrassed,” Rosie’s owner said. “I’d better buy it, but won’t that be rewarding her?”
“My name is Patti,” a tiny woman said. “I’m the top dog here.” Her light brown hair and slightly popped eyes made her look rather like a Chihuahua. Josie was startled by Patti’s deep voice. She expected someone so small to make shrill yapping sounds.
“You could put the toy away until Christmas, when she’ll have forgotten it,” Patti said. “But I can’t sell it with teeth marks in it.”
Alyce was examining fake-fur dog beds shaped like sports cars. “Look at this one. It even has a Mercedes logo on the hood. It’s a ‘Furcedes.’ Did you ever wonder why cars aren’t named after dogs? There are cat cars like Cougars and Jaguars, but no dog cars. I might like to drive a Golden Retriever or a big friendly Labrador.”
“Who wants to drive a Pit Bull?” Josie said. “And buying a Doberman is asking for trouble, especially if I had an accident. I could see a lawyer telling a jury, ‘That woman’s 2009 Doberman ran a red light and attacked my client’s innocent 2007 Golden Retriever.’ I’d be the bitch behind the wheel.”
“Josie!” Alyce said, struggling not to laugh. “We’re going to get thrown out along with Rosie the shoplifting dachshund.”
“We have to be serious,” Josie said. “I have to buy a dress for a Chihuahua. If I start laughing now, I’ll lose it.”
The manager said, “May I help you, ladies?”
“I was looking for a dress called Strawberry Delight,” Josie said. “I saw it on your Web site.”
“That’s in our little-dog clothes section. It’s on sale with the matching hat.”
She led them to a round rack with doll-sized dresses on plastic hangers. “What kind of dog do you have?” Patti asked as she pawed through the clothes.
“A Chihuahua,” Josie lied.
“What size is she?”
“Small,” Josie said. Weren’t they all small? she wondered.
“We have small and extra-small sizes for our little dogs,” Patti said. “How much does your dog weigh?”
“About five pounds,” Josie said.
“And what’s her length?”
Josie held out her hands about six inches. “But that doesn’t count the ears.”
“Do you know her neck size?”
“No,” Josie said.
“She’s probably an extra small,” Patti said. “But if the dress doesn’t fit, you can return it in thirty days, no questions asked. ‘Any time, any store’ is the Upper Pup policy. Just save the receipt. Ah, here it is.”
Patti pulled out a red and white dress dotted with strawberry appliqués. A big gingham bow was planted on the back. Josie wished she’d had a dress like that for Amelia when she was a baby.
“You get the dress and hat for only $21.99,” Patti said. “Don’t you love Chihuahuas? You can buy such cute clothes for them.”
“And they come with their own fur coats,” Josie said.
Alyce cleared her throat to remind Josie she was supposed to be a mystery shopper, not a canine critic. “Josie, look at this little dog bathrobe with the rubber duckie on it,” she said.
“I’ll stick with the strawberry dress,” Josie said.
“May I show you our specials on winter boots and Christmas costumes?” Patti said. “We have a complete line of Santa sweaters, plus warm raincoats and winter boots.”
“No, thank you.”
“Look at this harness with angel wings.” Patti pulled out a dog harness with floppy white cloth wings.
“Amazing,” Josie said.
“We have an excellent selection of sportswear,” Patti said.
“Thanks, but she’s not athletic,” Josie said.
“What is your little girl’s name?” Patti asked.
“Amelia,” Josie said.
“Lovely name,” Patti said. She took Josie’s credit card and slipped the dog dress into a bag decorated with paw prints.
“We’d better get home to your
fur child
,” Alyce said, nearly dragging Josie out of the store. “She’ll be wanting her lunch.”
They made it to Josie’s car before they collapsed into their seats, laughing. “Good thing you gave your daughter’s name as your little girl,” Alyce said.
“I don’t think Harry the cat would look good in gingham checks,” Josie said. “They’d clash with his stripes. I can’t believe I paid twenty-two bucks for a dog dress.” She pulled out her clipboard. “Let me go through my mystery-shopping checklist quickly.”
Josie ticked off the questions on the form. “Patti identified and introduced herself. She greeted me and offered to help. She found the item I wanted. She told me about the holiday specials. A perfect score for Patti at the Chesterfield store.”
“Give the woman a bone,” Alyce said.
“Give me something to settle my stomach,” Josie said. “These cutesy-poo clothes make me sick.”
“That’s a little harsh, Josie.”
Josie looked at her friend’s sincere blue eyes. Alyce’s light blond hair stuck up slightly from static electricity, giving her an exotic golden crest.
“No, it’s not harsh,” Josie said. “Little kids are going hungry this winter and shivering in the cold. Buying dog dresses is obscene.”
“It’s harmless,” Alyce said.
“Dogs should be dogs, not child substitutes. It’s useless and cruel.”
“Josie, why are you so judgmental?” Alyce asked.
“I’m not sure what you mean.”
“Many people think declawing a cat is cruel.”
“But we gave Harry a good home,” Josie said.
“And cut off his toe joints to save your couch. You didn’t even try a scratching post first. Not that I’m in a position to criticize. I’m addicted to kitchen toys. The money I spend on high-priced slicers and dicers could be used to feed the poor.”
“But you’re not a saint,” Josie said.
“Neither are you,” Alyce said. “We’re just trying to live our lives. So are the dog lovers. Cut them some slack.”
“I guess so,” Josie said.
“How was your weekend?” Alyce asked.
Josie told her about her “special date” with Stan.
“I think it’s time for my catch and release program,” Josie said. “I’m in the wrong romance. I’d better let him go.”
“You’re going to have to be cruel to be kind,” Alyce said.
Josie asked, “Do you want to go to another Upper Pup with me? I promise not to be righteous.”
“Deal,” Alyce said.
“We don’t have to buy anything at this store,” Josie said. “I’m supposed to return the dress and see if this Upper Pup lives up to its ‘no questions asked’ policy.”
This was one of Josie’s least favorite parts of mystery shopping. She felt like an idiot returning something she’d purchased an hour before. But it was a good test of customer service.
Josie wrinkled her nose when she walked into the second Upper Pup in the rich suburb of Clayton. The shop smelled like a wet dog. Tufts of dog hair dotted the floor. The door glass was covered with dog nose prints.
A round woman with straight gray hair was talking to a grumpy-looking bichon. The woman wore a bone-shaped name tag that read SALLY—MANAGER.
“Sit up, Amber. Sit!” Sally said in the high voice used for children and pets.
The surly dog refused to move. The manager waved a treat under her nose. The dog snapped it up, nearly biting the woman’s fingers.
“Now, Amber, that’s not very nice,” Sally said.
Josie and Alyce examined dog accessories while the manager cooed at her dog.
“Would you forgive me if I said that puppy bassinet with the lace trim creeps me out?” Josie asked Alyce. “I had one almost like it for Amelia.”
“Sh,” Alyce said. “You don’t want Sally to hear you. I agree the bassinet is too weird.”
“She won’t hear me. She’s too busy training her dog on company time,” Josie said.
“Excuse me, ma’am,” Josie said, raising her voice. “I’d like to return this.” She held up the dress bag.
Sally examined the receipt and said, “But you bought the dress this morning.”
“That’s right,” Josie said, “but it doesn’t fit my dog.”
“You should have taken it back to the store where you bought it,” the manager said.
“Your return policy says ‘any time, any store,’ ” Josie said.
“But it counts against my inventory,” Sally said. “Well, I’ll take it back.”
She refunded Josie’s purchase on her credit card, then said, “Come back again when you can buy something.”
Josie thought Sally was nearly as surly as her dog.
“Sit up, Amber,” Sally was saying as they left. “Come on, eat your num-nums. That’s my big girl.”
“And likely to get bigger, if Sally doesn’t quit stuffing her with treats,” Josie said as they headed for the car.
“I’m guessing that manager will not get high marks,” Alyce said.
“No,” Josie said. “And I won’t feel the least bit guilty saying so in my report. The store was not clean. She wasn’t helpful. She questioned my return. Sally is going to have lots of time to play with Amber when I turn in this report.”
“What now?” Alyce said.
“That’s it for today. I can mystery-shop the third Upper Pup later in the week.”
“Will you do me a favor?” Alyce asked. “Would you come to lunch at my house Wednesday?”
“Are you kidding?” Josie asked. “I love your cooking.”
“There’s a price,” Alyce said. “You have to meet my new neighbor, Traci.”
“Is that a good idea?” Josie asked. “We don’t run in the same circles.”
“That’s why I’m inviting you. Traci is from Miami and she doesn’t quite fit in with the other women in the subdivision. She thinks they’re snobs. They think she’s rude. I think she’s a hoot. I’ll make lunch and the three of us can talk. Traci wants a new puppy. I’m trying to convince her to get a shelter animal.”
“Doing good while eating well. My favorite kind of charity. Count me in,” Josie said.
“See you at noon Wednesday,” Alyce said.
Later that same afternoon, Amelia came running out of school with a big smile. Josie was delighted by the change. For too many afternoons after her father’s death, Amelia had dragged herself to the car and answered questions in monosyllables. “I can’t wait to see Harry,” she said. “How’s he doing, Mom?”
“He was fine last time I checked,” Josie said. “He’d emptied his food bowl and filled his litter box, and you know what that means, young lady.”
“I’ll clean it when I get home,” Amelia said, her smile slightly dimmer.
At home, Amelia hauled out the litter jug and trudged down the hall to her bathroom. Soon Josie heard shouts of “Mom, Mom! Look!”
Josie darted out of the kitchen as a small brown blur raced down the hall, made a U-turn at Josie’s shoes, then zipped into Amelia’s bathroom.
“It’s Harry, chasing a yarn ball!” Amelia said. “He’s out!”
By that time, he was back under the claw-foot tub. Not even his tail showed. But the yarn ball was in the hall, proof of the cat’s first major venture into the house.
“Isn’t he wonderful?” Amelia said.
“He is indeed,” Josie said. “We should celebrate with macaroni and cheese.”
“Okay, but I’ll make it.”
“You won’t get any argument from me,” Josie said. “Be sure to wash your hands.”
An hour and a half later, they were finishing up in the kitchen when Josie heard a knock on the door. She peeked out and saw Jerry. He held a prancing Chloe on a leash in one hand and a big bouquet in the other.
“May I come in?” Jerry said. “I want to apologize.”
“Sure,” Josie said. “Amelia, you can leave the dishes and play with Chloe on the porch if you want. Put on your coat first.”
Amelia had her coat on and was outside in record time.
Jerry stood on the mat inside the door, looking awkward. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I accused you of turning in Jonah. When I had time to think about it, I realized it couldn’t be you. The news said the investigation had been going on for months. These flowers are for you. I’m sorry.”
Jerry handed Josie an enormous bunch of pink and yellow Gerbera daisies, roses, stargazer lilies, and sunflowers.
“They’re beautiful, Jerry. Come into the kitchen while I put them in water. Would you like some beer or wine?”
“Coffee would be nice,” he said.
“Have you seen Jonah since the arrest?” Josie asked as she trimmed the stems on the flowers, then hunted for a big vase.
“No. He’s out on bail. They say he hurt his puppies and didn’t take care of his boys. The state has custody of Bart and Billy.”
“But if he wasn’t properly caring for them . . . ,” Josie began.
“They had a few bruises, sure, but that’s just boy stuff,” Jerry said. “Jonah is a farmer and he comes across as a little rough. Everyone has to be useful on a farm, even kids. There’s supposed to be someone else who complained about him, too.”
“There is?” Josie said.
“But I know you’d never do anything like that,” he said, and smiled at her.
“Would you like a brownie?” Josie asked.
“No, thanks,” he said. “I’d better finish taking Chloe for her walk. It’s warming up and she’s feeling frisky.”
“Thank you for the flowers,” Josie said. He didn’t ask her to walk with him.
“Good-bye,” Jerry said. He gave her a quick, coffee-flavored kiss, and left her standing in the kitchen, feeling confused.
Once her daughter was in bed, Josie sat on the couch, waiting for the ten o’clock news. She wanted to see if there was more news about Jonah and the puppy mill. She fell asleep during a Christmas feature about a neighborhood Santa and woke up when she heard, “So enjoy the unseasonably warm December weather.”
The final credits were rolling. Josie had missed the puppy mill story. Josie slipped down the hall in sock feet to check on her daughter. Amelia was asleep. Harry was curled up on the bed with his tail wrapped around her daughter’s arm.
Josie tiptoed into her bedroom for her camera and sneaked back. Harry put his head up and stared at Josie with big green eyes, but remained possessively next to his new friend. Perfect.
She snapped their picture to show Amelia in the morning.
Chapter 15
Josie didn’t have to wake up Amelia on Tuesday morning. She was awake and at her computer. Harry was sitting on a pile of paper next to it, his brown paws neatly folded in front of him.
“Nice striped paperweight,” Josie said. “Did you know Harry slept with his tail curled around your arm last night?”