The Fashion Police (28 page)

A few phone calls to various hospitals were all it took to confirm what she’d said about Andrew. She hadn’t been meeting Charlie Biggs, the hit man. She’d been meeting Charlie Biggs, the loan shark. I just hoped that Janice Skipper had the intelligence to work it out. The last thing Samantha needed at a time like this was Janice breathing down her neck.

****

‘Speak,’ Brad said when I called him on my way back from Samantha’s.

‘What happened last night?’ I blurted out.

Brad chuckled. ‘Are you sure you really want to know?’

Oh, Goddy God. Did I really want to know? I couldn’t decide so I hung up.

I checked my watch. Two p.m. Hopefully, I could catch Mum and Dad at home and grab a late lunch with them.

‘What happened to your hair?’ Mum asked when I waltzed into the kitchen.

‘It turns out my hair isn’t heat resistant.’

Sabre sprinted into the kitchen and tried to stop short when he got to me, but ended up skidding across the laminate flooring and smacking his head on the stove.

‘Maybe that’s why he’s got a few problems,’ I said to Mum as Sabre sat there for a few moments, stunned, before falling asleep. ‘If he doesn’t wake up in half an hour, he might have concussion.’

‘Have you been smoking?’ She switched the kettle on and scooped two tablespoons of filter coffee into a French press.

‘Kind of.’ I eyed the coffee. ‘I definitely need another scoop.’

She stopped, the spoon hovering over the coffee. ‘Are you OK?’

I flapped a hand. ‘I’m fine – no, actually I’m not fine.’ I sat down at the island and gazed down at my finger, tracing a circle on its surface. ‘Have you ever cheated on Dad?’

She sat down next to me. ‘I’ve thought about it.’

I whipped my head up. ‘Really?’

‘Of course. Your dad’s a workaholic. There have been loads of times when I’ve felt neglected or second best. I’ve had plenty of opportunity to have an affair as well.’

‘So…what stopped you?’

She smiled at me. ‘You know that saying, “love conquers all”?’

I nodded.

‘Well, it’s a load of rubbish. Love doesn’t conquer all, but when you love someone, you love them, warts and all. Honey, no relationship is perfect. It’s all the perfect times that make up for the imperfect ones.’

‘Exactly, so if you really loved someone, you wouldn’t cheat on them, would you?’

‘Have you cheated on Romeo?’

I had a terrifying image of me and Brad entangled in each other’s bodies under my sheets, getting very hot, sweaty, and dangerously passionate. ‘I don’t know.’

‘What do you mean, you don’t know?’

‘Well, I was a bit drunk, and something might’ve happened with Brad.’

‘Ah.’ She paused for a while, giving this some thought. ‘I think that whatever’s meant to be is meant to be. You need to ask yourself what it is exactly that you’re afraid of. Are you afraid to commit to Romeo and take the chance on a happy future with him because if doesn’t work with him, it won’t work with anyone? Or are you afraid that you’re still in love with Brad?’

‘Both,’ I said, wondering if it would’ve been more healing to have tied up all the loose ends with Brad years ago. Would I have felt more liberated? Freer to move on with my life, and get Brad well and truly out of my system for good? Maybe then I could’ve committed to spending a happy life with Romeo and stop holding back. But was I really holding back, or was I just being cautious? Caution was good, right? And I hadn’t exactly planned on being in this situation again. What if I was wrong about Romeo, too? What if my feelings for Romeo were just lust masquerading as love? Was I just trying to kid myself? I groaned inwardly. I couldn’t go on like this forever. I needed to make a decision about my love life. But what if the last year with Romeo had all been a mistake? What if I was supposed to be with Brad all along?

Mum wrapped an arm around my shoulder and hugged me into her. ‘I can’t tell you what the right thing to do is. You’re the only one who can decide that. But I’ll tell you one thing.’

I rested my head on her shoulder, staring glumly at the floor. ‘What’s that?’

 ‘You can’t change fate. I know what happened with Brad hurt you deeply, and it took you a long time to get over him. But sometimes you just have to take a chance.’

‘Yes, but which chance should I take? Brad or Romeo?’

She let out a soft sigh. ‘You’re the only one who can answer that. I think that once or twice in life, you meet someone and feel a mysterious connection that sinks into your soul and takes a hold on you. It seems like your heart races ahead of you while your brain struggles to play catch up, but by the time your heart finally does catch up, it’s too late to recover. Brad left a scar on your heart, but it’s up to you whether he’s the one to repair it or not.’

‘Aagh,’ I groaned, flopping forward and tugging at my roots. ‘I thought I was over Brad, but now all the familiar feelings are coming back, and I’m scared. Brad’s dangerous. Whereas Romeo is solid, dependable, gorgeous, and funny.  He’s everything a girl could want. And it’s working with him.’

‘Is it working with him? Why won’t you commit to him, then, if it’s working so well?’ Mum raised an eyebrow.

‘Maybe you should’ve been the psychiatrist instead of Suzy.’ I gave her a grim smile.

We sat like that for a while, me lost in a merry-go-round of thoughts and Mum rubbing my shoulder, until she said, ‘How about some chocolate cake with that coffee?’

‘Hello.’ Dad walked in wearing brown leggings and a green T-shirt with fabric camouflage netting draped around him, complete with individual little material leaves sewn on.

I did a quick double-take.

‘I thought you said you wouldn’t be back for hours,’ Mum said as Dad kissed her on the cheek.

‘I wanted to catch Amber,’

‘Why are you dressed like a tree?’ I said.

‘I’m doing a stakeout in the park. Some little blighters have been vandalizing the children’s play area.’ He did a twirl. ‘I made this myself. Pretty good, isn’t it?’

I nodded because I didn’t really know what to say to that. ‘Have you caught anyone?’ I asked him.

‘Not yet.’

‘Did you want to see me about something?’ I said.

‘I wanted to tell you that I spoke to the Chief Constable today at the golf club.’

That made my ears prick up. Ultimately, the Chief Constable was the person with the power to give me my old job back. ‘What happened?’

‘He told me that he’s getting pressure from the government to solve this Fandango case. I’m certain he’ll give you your old job back if you crack it before that nutcase, Janice Skipper.’

I didn’t really know if Dad was actually qualified to call someone else a nutcase when he was dressed up like a tree, but never mind. Janice was indeed a nutcase, and that was erring on the side of a polite description.

‘He told me that the Cohen boys torched their warehouse today,’ Dad said.

 I mumbled something non-committal.

‘Brad won’t be too pleased if he’s got to pay out the insurance. How’s it going, working for him?’ Dad said.

I stole a glance at Mum. ‘It’s complicated.’ I kissed them both and turned to leave. I’d just got to the front door when I stopped dead as a thought occurred to me. I retraced my steps back into the kitchen. ‘Dad, how did you know I was here?’

He gave me a sly grin. ‘I have Amber radar.’

Ten minutes later, I sat in the Lemon, which I’d parked a few doors down from Paul Clark’s house. Since I’d already stuffed up the Cohens’ warehouse today, I was determined to close the Clark file. Although technically the warehouse probably would’ve been torched anyway, I didn’t think I’d be getting an employee of the month badge for my part. I slouched down in the seat and waited.

It had just gone five-thirty when a blue van pulled onto Clark’s drive. Clutching the camera in anticipation, I inched upwards in my seat.

Paul Clark jumped out of the van and walked around to the rear doors. As he pulled the doors open, I aimed my camera and carried on watching through the viewfinder. The top half of him disappeared as he leaned into the van, pulling something heavy toward him.

And then bingo! David Bailey, eat your heart out.

Snap: A picture of Clark, straining under the weight of a washing machine he’d just maneuvered out of the van onto his forearms.

Snap: A picture of Clark, staggering up the drive as he carried the washing machine.

Snap: A picture of a red-faced Clark, huffing and puffing, as his torso teetered backwards at a forty-five degree angle with the washing machine resting precariously in his hands.

I should’ve been pleased with the result, but I wasn’t. I couldn’t stop thinking about how his injury claim being rejected would impact on Mrs. Clark and her mid-life nervous crisis. Then again, we all make choices in life. It’s just that sometimes we don’t always make good ones, and we have to live with the consequences of our actions.

I waited until Clark had disappeared into the house. Then I stuffed two hundred pounds in an envelope for the damage to their window and scrawled Mrs. Clark’s name on it. I snuck up their path and posted it through their letterbox, scurrying back down the path before I got caught.

I was just about to dig the key into the Lemon’s ignition when my phone rang.

‘Amber, it’s Samantha. I’m at the police station. They’ve just arrested me for killing Umberto and Heather. I don’t know what to…’ Her voice cracked as if the strain was too much, and she fell silent.

I stiffened. Damn Janice Skipper. ‘OK, I’m on my way.’ 

24

I rushed into the police and bumped slap bang into Romeo. My heart sank to my stomach and flew back up again. I thought I might actually be sick from guilt.

‘Hey, darling.’ He smiled at me.

I pushed down the nausea, trying my best non-guilty looking smile. ‘Hey!’

He leaned in close, his lips brushing against my earlobe as he whispered in my ear. ‘My case should be finished in a few days. I’m looking forward to spending some quality time with you.’

The hairs on the back of my neck rose. I didn’t trust myself to speak, so I carried on smiling.

He pulled away slightly, examining me with his warm eyes. ‘Are you OK?’

‘Of course.’ I smiled wider and flashed my white enamels, conscious that I probably looked like some kind of cheesy commercial for toothpaste.

‘Are you here to see Janice?’

‘Unfortunately, yes.’

‘I’ll tell her you’re here.’ He grabbed hold of me, squeezing me to him tightly, and planted a kiss on my lips.

I relaxed into his warm body as a tingling sensation ran right through me.

‘Ahem.’ Someone coughed behind us.

We pulled apart and I saw Janice Skipper’s eyes drilling into me.

‘You’ve got work to do,’ she said to Romeo.

He rolled his eyes at me, said goodbye, and sauntered out to the parking lot.

Janice folded her arms and stared at me. ‘I don’t know what you’re doing here. I think you should be busy writing out your resignation at this point.’

‘And why is that, Janice?’

‘Because I’ve already cracked the case.’

‘You’ve arrested the wrong person.’

She snorted. ‘Don’t be ridiculous. Samantha James is in custody because she’s a murderer. She hired a hit-man to shoot Fandango at his office and hide the body somewhere.’

 ‘No, she didn’t. And you’ve got no evidence to prove it. Don’t do this, you’ll regret it.’

She waved a dismissive hand. ‘I don’t think you’re in a position to tell me what to do. Now, is that all? I’m a very busy person.’

‘Can I see her?’

‘Not a chance. Chop-chop, and start writing out your resignation.’ She stalked off, leaving me standing there with steam about to gush out of my ears.

I turned to leave and felt a tap on my shoulder. Swinging around, I expected to see the return of the Wicked Witch, but it was Carol Blake.

‘Hi.’ Her eyes darted around, making sure Janice was out of earshot before they settled back on me. She pulled me outside where the walls didn’t have ears. ‘I’ve found something interesting. The bullets we found at Fandango’s office had the same striation patterns as the one used to kill Heather.’

‘So the same bullets were used in both crimes. Have you got any idea of what type of gun was used?’

‘A revolver.’

‘Right, so we just need to find the gun.’

****

I dragged my aching, smoky body through my front door later that night. I was dying for a shower, and was heading toward the bathroom when my front door burst open with a wrenching noise and crashed against the wall.

I spun around to see Tracy standing in the doorway with a weird look on his face. I wasn’t quite sure if he was giving me an evil super-villain grin, or whether he was in the middle of having a stroke. Either way, it was slightly disconcerting because he pointed his gun at me again. This time I got a good look at it.

With a low growl, he rushed toward me.

I swung my ass around, running toward the bathroom. I was almost there, too, when he grabbed hold of my hair, yanking me backwards.

‘Argh!’ I fully intended to go through my vast repertoire of various shrieks and yells, but unfortunately Tracy clamped a hand over my mouth at that point.

Fear gripped at my stomach like a hand, squeezing the breath out of me.

‘Are you going to come quietly?’ he said, relaxing his grip slightly so I could speak through the gaps in between his fingers.

‘Now, now, that’s not the kind of thing you say to a lady,’ I managed to squeak. 

‘You ain’t no lady. I’m taking you to see my boss.’

‘I can’t go.’

‘Why not?’

 ‘I’m washing my hair tonight.’ Then I realized that the chances of me being alive long enough to ever wash my hair again were about as likely as winning the lottery. All the blood instantly drained from my face and rushed to my extremities.

He peered at my hair. ‘You need to.’

I stomped on his foot and tried to wrench myself free.

He increased the tightness of his grip around me, so I couldn’t elbow him in any painful areas. 

‘What does your boss want?’ Maybe I could keep him talking and try to figure a way out of this.

‘You’ve been poking your nose in where it doesn’t concern you, and you’ve got something he wants.’

‘What, genital warts?’ I said.

‘You’ve got…er genital warts?’

‘Yes, and they’re very contagious. You can catch them from just touching someone who’s got them.’

I felt Tracy’s grip loosen at that little revelation. I writhed around, trying to get away from him before he regained his vice-like grip again.

‘Where is it?’ he said.

‘I thought we’d already been through this before. I don’t know what you’re talking about. Go on, ask me a question. You can ask me anything you like. I bet I don’t know the answer.’

He was just about to turn around and drag me toward the front door when Tia silently appeared behind him with my huge terracotta plant pot in her hands, raised above her head.

Crack! She smashed the pot over his head.

His eyes rolled back into their sockets as he slumped to the floor, banging his head again in the process.

‘Wowee!’ Tia said as we stood over him. ‘I’ve never hit someone before.’

‘Don’t worry, he’s a bit accident prone anyway.’ I gave him a quick dig in the ribs with my foot. He didn’t even flinch.

‘What are we going to do with him?’

‘Did you see a white SUV in the parking lot with an ugly fat guy in it?’

‘Yes.’

‘That’s his girlfriend,’ I said. I doubted if Sally was capable of using a gun without killing himself. He seemed a bit too high strung to me, but I wasn’t going to take any chances. I stuffed Tracy’s gun in my pocket. We could always dump Tracy next to the SUV and gently persuade Sally to get lost with a little firepower. ‘Come on, you take his arms, I’ll take his legs.’

We dragged him into the lift and out the communal door to the parking lot, banging his head a few times on the floor in the process.

‘He weighs a ton,’ Tia said.

‘Too many steroids. I bet his nuts have shrunk too, especially since they’ve been on fire.’ I allowed myself a little chuckle.

‘Pardon?’

‘Never mind.’ I smirked.

I could see Sally sitting in the SUV, listening to opera music full blast, miming conductor actions to himself. We approached the car from Sally’s blind spot and left Tracy next to the rear passenger door. Retrieving the revolver from my pocket, I walked around to Sally’s door and pulled it open, pointing the gun at him.

‘What the fuck!’ Sally stared down the barrel of the gun.

‘Have you got a gun?’ I asked him.

 ‘No, I’m not allowed one. It’s not fair, Tracy get’s to carry one,’ he whined. ‘Where is Tracy anyway?’

I tilted my head toward the back of the SUV. ‘Over there. Now, you’re going to get out nice and slowly, put your girlfriend in the car, and drive off. OK?’

‘Huh? I lost you after the first instruction.’

‘Are you an idiot?’

Sally looked confused at that.

I sighed. ‘It’s OK, you don’t have to answer that. I think I know the answer.’ I beckoned him out with the barrel of the gun. ‘Out.’

‘No,’ he said.

‘What do you mean, no? I’ve got a gun.’

‘I know, but if I get out you’ll shoot me.’

‘Newsflash! If you don’t get out, I’ll shoot you, how about that?’ I waggled the gun at him. ‘I’m a good shot too. I once shot someone in the ass.’ Not that I was proud of it, but Sally wasn’t to know that.

‘Oh, shit. I don’t wanna get shot in the ass. You might miss and shoot me in the nuts instead. You’ve got a thing about nuts.’

I took a step back as Sally squeezed himself through the door and waddled around to Tracy. ‘Jesus lady, you’ve killed him!’

‘No, he’s just going to have a bit of a headache. Again,’ I said.

Sally wrestled Tracy into the back of the SUV. ‘Now what?’

‘Now drive off and don’t come back,’ I said.

Sally shook his head as he squashed his gut behind the steering wheel. ‘My boss isn’t going to like this.’

‘Tell me something I don’t know. Have a nice day, now.’

Tia and I watched until we saw them safely disappear into the distance.

‘You need to get out of here in case they come back,’ I told Tia.

‘OK. I just wanted to tell you that the police rang to tell me they’d arrested Samantha.’

‘I know.’

‘Do you think she did it? Do you think she killed my dad?’

‘No.’ I squeezed her arm. ‘Now, go.’

‘Do you want to come back to my place and lay low?’

‘Thanks, but I need some time to think.’

After I was sure Tia had left, I ran back up to my apartment. I checked to make sure Marmalade was OK, and since the door would still close, I decided to leave him in the apartment. I fed him then stuffed a few things in an overnight bag and scampered out to my car without having a clue where I was going.

I waited at a set of traffic lights, tapping on the steering wheel, wondering what to do. I could go to Romeo’s house, but if he returned unexpectedly things could get a bit awkward. He’d know something was wrong, and I would have to explain that I’d done something inexcusable. I could go to Brad’s, but I might end up doing the nasty thing again, and that would make things even more complicated. I could go to Tia’s, but I needed some time to myself to think.

No, don’t think
. If I didn’t think about it, maybe it would mean that nothing really happened with Brad. If I didn’t think about it, maybe I could develop selective denial, burying the information somewhere in my brain where I’d never find it again.

Bollocks. What to do? What should I do?

I sat, head tilted to one side, waiting for everything to disintegrate out of my brain. Nope, it wasn’t working. I couldn’t bloody stop thinking about it.

A lorry behind me, laden with beer barrels, sounded his horn as the lights changed from red to green. I pulled off, deciding at that second to spend the night at a hotel, so I could not think about what I was thinking about in peace.