The Fashion Police (9 page)

Sabre growled, gave Dad a filthy look, and decided a little more licking was called for. 

‘Sabre!’ Dad repeated in a stern voice. ‘Bloody dog. No wonder he was a police reject.’ Dad fumbled in his pocket, pulled out a dog biscuit and threw it across the floor.

Sabre’s eyes lit up, and he made a weird whining grunt before he jumped up and bounded off in search of the biscuit. When he finished, he made his way over to Dad, where he eyed Dad’s foot like it was an industrial-size packet of doggy treats.

‘What do you think of his outfit?’ Mum asked as she cocked her head in Dad’s direction. ‘Don’t you think he needs to accessorize more?’

‘Er,’ was all I could manage as I rolled onto my side and sat up. This place was a nuthouse. No wonder I had issues.

‘Hang on, I’ll show you.’ Before I could stop her, Mum dashed out of the room.

‘How’s the job going?’ Dad asked.

‘Actually, that’s why I’m here. Have you got any night vision goggles I can borrow?’

‘I’ve probably got a pair somewhere. Let me have a look.’ He moved across the room and opened a huge chest. I watched as he pulled out a Kevlar bullet proof vest, a couple of old style straight police batons, a side handled baton, a few pairs of handcuffs, and a large flashlight. He rummaged around at the bottom. ‘Here we are.’ He pulled out a pair of night vision goggles and handed them to me. ‘Why don’t you take the flashlight, too?’

I took both. ‘That would be great. Mine’s been stolen.’

‘Who by?’

‘I don’t know.’

He held my gaze for a minute, sensing my uneasiness. ‘So, how is it really going?’

I looked away. ‘OK, I suppose. Today I was followed by a couple of thugs, so I guess that means I’m getting to close to something.’

‘Don’t give up, Amber. You’ll be great at this job.’ He paused for a moment. ‘I’ll just put some new batteries in the flashlight for you.’ He took it upstairs, giving me a moment to think about his words, then returned a few minutes later and handed the now-working light to me.

‘Thanks.’ I smiled.

‘Now, what do you think of this?’ Mum came back in, carrying dangly clip-on earrings and a chiffon scarf. She held them up next to Dad and turned to me with a huge smile. ‘See, that’s much better, isn’t it?’

9

‘What’s new in the world of hacking?’ I asked as I breezed into the office.

‘Not much. I’m still looking into Fandango’s bank accounts,’ Hacker replied.

I dragged a chair over to his desk and sat next to him. ‘Are you ready to go to his office and look at the hard drives?’

‘I am.’ Tia suddenly appeared behind us.

‘I thought I told you not to follow me,’ I said to her as I turned, astonished.

‘I’m not, silly.’ She did the snotty hyena laugh again. ‘If I was following you, I’d be behind you.’

I arched an eyebrow. ‘Tia, you are behind me.’

‘Oh, yeah.’ She put her hand over her mouth and giggled. ‘Hey, who’s your friend?’ She gave Hacker a shy smile.

Hacker gave her a huge smile back. ‘Yo,’ he said to her. ‘I’m Roderick.’

It was my turn to giggle. He didn’t look like a Roderick.

Seeing my surprise, he scowled.  ‘But no one calls me Roderick. You can call me Hacker.’

‘Yum – I mean, yo.’ She beamed at him. ‘Your plaits are way cool.’

‘Way,’ I agreed, but they ignored me and kept on staring at each other. ‘I saw a Tyrannosaurus Rex last night in my flat.’ That didn’t get them moving, either. I cleared my throat. ‘Ahem.’

They crash landed back to reality and looked at me like I’d spoiled all their fun.

I grinned at them. ‘Anyway, where were we? Oh, yes, we were about to go hard-drive hunting.’

‘Can I tag along?’ Tia asked me.

‘As long as you don’t do anything,’ I said.

‘Does that include breathing? I’m allowed to breathe, right?’

I didn’t bother responding as I strode out the door, Tia and Hacker struggling to catch up.

****

It was eight p.m. and already dark when we arrived at Fandango’s office. Not that the darkness bothered me; I was beginning to feel that I could make the journey blindfolded. As we crept into the unlit building, few stars shone above like pin-pricks in the inky blackness.   

‘It’s spooky.’ Tia clutched Hacker’s arm.

‘Don’t you worry about that,’ he said, pulling out a necklace with what looked to be a chicken’s foot on it from underneath his hoodie. ‘I’ve got something to protect us from hexes.’ He waved it at her.

She peered at it. I didn’t know if she was going to laugh with relief or cry until she smiled up at him. ‘Do you practice voodoo?’

‘I’m Haitian. Of course I do.’ He puffed out his skinny chest.

‘Oh, my God, we’re made for each other! I’m psychic.’

Call me strange, but I thought that a dead chicken’s foot hanging around your neck was far spookier than a building with no lights on. That being said, I did flip the lights on pretty quick at that point. There was a collective gasp as we took in the disaster.

‘What the…’ I glanced around the reception area, which looked like a hurricane had whipped through it. The place had been searched, probably by the same untidy, inconsiderate scumbag who had been to my apartment.

‘F…Fudging hell,’ Tia said.

‘This is bad.’ Hacker got out his chicken’s foot and waved it around again. ‘I can feel bad karma here.’

‘Come on, let’s look at the computers,’ I said.

‘Can you turn people into zombies?’ Tia asked Hacker as we rushed toward Fandango’s office.

‘I tried it once, but it’s a bit messy. It’s much easier to just shoot people.’

‘If you ever try it again, I’ve got a few people in mind,’ I said. ‘What about voodoo dolls, you have any of those?’

He tutted. ‘Voodoo dolls are some nasty shit. If you start that, you gonna get it back three times over.’

‘Damn,’ I said, pulling the door open. ‘Are you sure?’

‘Sure, I’m sure.’

‘Can’t you just do something small, like make Janice Skipper’s teeth fall out, or give her permanent spots, or maybe herpes?’

‘Nope.’

Fandango’s office hadn’t fared any better than reception. Paperwork and pens lay scattered across the floor, desk drawers had been emptied, and, more importantly, the computers, including hard drives, were gone.

‘Great!’ I said.

Tia’s eyes welled up with tears. She fanned at them. ‘That means we can’t get any information, then.’ She stamped her foot.

‘I’m good, but not that good.’ Hacker draped an arm around her shoulder.

‘What are we going to do now?’ Tia flopped onto the silver couch and wiped away a stray tear.

I rested a hand on my hip, deep in thought. ‘Have you had any ransom demands?’ I asked her.

She shook her head. ‘Is that good or bad?’

‘Well, normally the chances of finding someone alive decrease every day they’re missing, but I’ve just got a feeling that your dad is still alive.’

‘I know he is. I can feel it,’ she said. ‘I know you don’t believe me, but there’s some kind of connection with pasta going on.’

‘I didn’t say I didn’t believe you. It’s just that it doesn’t really help.’ I sighed. ‘I don’t know about you guys, but I could do with a drink.’

****

I poured two glasses of Zinfandel rosé for Tia and me, and an orange juice for Hacker, who mumbled something about his body being sacred. I kind of had an ulterior motive for inviting them back to my apartment. We all sat squashed together on my tiny sofa in my tiny but freshly tidied living room, lost in our own thoughts. Not that I was scared or anything. I’d cracked a few nuts and broken a few noses in my time, but I had a funny kind of vulnerable feeling now that someone had been in here, and I didn’t like it one bit. Alright, I admit it. Maybe I was a teensy bit scared. It was nice to have someone else there, in case whoever had broken in came back.

I slapped the palm of my hand on my forehead. ‘Think!’ I muttered. ‘Does EF mean anything to you?’ I asked Tia.

She frowned for a second, and then a light bulb lit up behind her eyes.

‘What?’ I asked.

‘I’m getting some kind of feeling. I think it’s connected to the pasta thingy-bob,’ she said.

I groaned.

She grabbed hold of my arm. ‘No, really.’

‘What about Longshore Holdings, does that ring a bell?’ I asked.

She shook her head.

‘Why would the mob steal the fashion collection if they were already receiving it in exchange for money laundering?’ I wondered out loud.

‘Maybe the mob didn’t steal it.’ The Hacker sipped his juice.

‘Those guys who followed me today had mafia written all over them in orange neon,’ I said as I stood up and strolled around the room, head tipped to one side, mentally speculating.

‘There’s no way Dad would be involved in something like money laundering,’ Tia said.

‘Well, he was involved in something. I just don’t know what,’ I said.

Tia gulped. ‘Maybe they didn’t really want the collection. Maybe they were just after Dad.’

‘Why, though?’ I asked.

‘I don’t know,’ she said.

I glanced over at Hacker. ‘Got any crystal balls tucked in your hoodie?’

‘Balls I got. They’re just not crystal.’

They left after we’d downed the bottle of wine, and I crawled under the sheets, expecting to nod off as soon as my head hit the pillow. Instead, I had another restless night, only this time I wasn’t thinking about Brad, I was thinking I could hear noises coming from the kitchen.

I tried to ignore the scraping sounds for a while, pulling the duvet over my head in denial.

Had I actually heard something or was it my mind working overtime?

I pulled the duvet down to my nose, straining to listen as blood pulsed around in my ears. Then my blood froze mid-pulse. No, I could definitely hear something.

I bolted upright in bed. There the sound was again, but this time it was a clanking noise. Beads of sweat pricked at my palms, and my heart skipped a beat.

I shot out of bed, grabbing the first thing I could find in case I needed to defend myself, which happened to be a can of hair spray.

Padding barefoot through the darkened living room, I could hear the clanking sound again, louder now. It was coming from the kitchen. I jumped through the kitchen doorway – finger poised on the nozzle for maximum spray effect – and flicked the light on.

Then I clutched my chest with relief. My ‘intruder’ wasn’t an intruder at all. It was Marmalade, in the kitchen, with a wrench. I’d apparently missed it when I cleaned up the spilled tools earlier.

The wrench wasn’t the only thing he was playing with, however. Obviously in a naughty mood, Marmalade had pulled out the contents of my rucksack, which now lay scattered on the wooden floor. The rhinestone from Fandango’s offices glinted in the light, seeming to almost be taunting me to solve the case.

‘You’re grounded,’ I told him as I shoveled everything back into my rucksack.

Marmalade rubbed his head around my ankles, purring apologetically, but I ignored him. My mind was elsewhere. A weird feeling was hovering in the periphery of my brain, struggling to turn into a fully fledged thought. What was it?

I couldn’t shake the idea that I was missing something obvious. It was something I should know, and it still hadn’t come to me hours later, even after having stared at the shadows on the ceiling above the bed all night.