The Fashionista Files (6 page)

CHAPTER 2

Building the Fashionista Closet:
The Eighth Wonder of the World—
in Your Bedroom!

Fashionistas, contrary to popular belief, do not come in one size (size two). In fact, the shape of your body and size of your waist have nothing to do with the status of your fashionistadom. It’s all about the closet, baby. And the beauty within. Whether your closet is a cavernous three-story walk-in or the size of a carry-on suitcase, what sets the fashionista closet apart from an ordinary closet is depth, versatility, and eclecticism. In the first chapter you discovered what kind of fashionista you are, but paradoxically, the fashionista is not limited to one “look,” and she likes to experiment and play with tons of clothes, which she often considers costumes. The fashionista is a chameleon: ladylike in driving gloves and a sharp tweed suit one moment, a punk-rock chick in a dog collar and studded belt the next. She is a cross between a gypsy, a princess, and a diva. She’s androgynous in the fall and hyperfeminine by the spring. She wears bohemian peasant blouses as well as conservative three-strand pearls. She’s ready (and more than willing) to meet every direction of the trend weather vane.

More often than not, she’s a pack rat, a collector, an obsessive-compulsive who can’t let go of, say, a Hawaiian-tropic sarong in psychedelic colors even if she lives in New England (because who knows—she might jet off to Maui on a moment’s notice, even if the nearest she usually gets to the beach is down by the Jersey shore to visit her cousin during Memorial Day weekend), or maybe she’s still holding on to the polka-dot pleated halter dress she wore on her very first date with her husband (even if she doesn’t fit into it anymore, she still remembers the look he gave her when he first saw her).

No matter what your style niche is, fashionistas the world over own essentially the same glamorous garments. You can bet each of us has just the perfect bias-cut cocktail dress, motorcycle boots, and classic trench coat. We are a tribe, a breed apart, after all. And we recognize one another by the small details of our clothing (a turned-up collar here, a peekaboo ruffle there) and the panache with which we wear them. So whether you’re a boho, mummy, wicked witch, or fairy godmother, you’ll need some essential fashionista ingredients to build your dream wardrobe. Just remember: Fashionista dressing is about confidence, individualism, and really, really, fabulous shoes. So let’s get started. Here’s your lesson on rifling through the racks, and while you’re at it, welcome to a quick trip through our wardrobes. (If we find that it’s winter in Narnia on the other end, God knows we’ll be dressed for it!)

Here, a journey through what you’ll need to achieve fashionista wardrobe status, from your toes to your head!

Must-have Fashionista Footwear

Superpointy toes—The fashionista shoe has a pointy toe. We cannot stress this enough. While you might be tempted to go round-toed when this snub-nosed design comes around once every five years, the fashionista shoe is always pointy. So pointy they’re almost elfin. Why pointy shoes? Because they scrunch the toe, narrow the foot, and give your look a certain dangerous edge. Round toes are just too, well, Minnie Mouse and cute, not sexy.

Four-inch heels—Fashionistas cultivate a long-legged look, even if they’re four-eleven (
especially
if they’re four-eleven— Karen), and four-inch heels are best for achieving the proper skyscraper effect. Three-inchers are typically the fashionista’s “sensible,” even “comfortable” footgear. Three-inch is a day shoe. A work shoe. Four-inch heels spell nighttime drama. Five inches, and you’re strutting in tranny hooker territory, which, depending on the occasion, is not such a bad thing.

The wedge slide

Wedgies—The wedge look goes in and out of style, but when it comes to poolside fashion, stilettos will make you look like you’re trying too hard. So what’s a girl who wants extra bathing suit appeal to do? Wear the wedgies, which are very easy to walk in and surprisingly comfy. They also work well with extra-long jeans that scrape along the floor as you walk, miniskirts, and shorts.

The High-high boot

Cowboy boots—Home on the range and in the city, too. Especially if they’re Dior.

Thigh-high boots—For the sexy Julia-Roberts-in-Pretty-Woman look, without the streetwalker sensibility.

The evening glamour

Ankle boots—The basic boot for underneath pants and to make a statement with short skirts.

Knee-high boots—The standby for fall’s knee-length skirts.

Evening shoe—Night dressing calls for a little sparkly drama, a touch of satin, and decadent details like crystals, pearls, and a very slinky heel. Evening shoes also work well with jeans and tank tops. Very downtown-girl Kate Moss cool.

The mule

Mules—Perfect for summer in Capri . . . or Connecticut. Just be wary: There is nothing that holds the shoe onto your heel, so sometimes you have to grip your toes to keep the shoe on your foot as you prance. Not good for the back, but what’s life without a little struggle?

The tapestry platform

Printed shoe—Embroidered tapestry is a well-heeled luxury. The rest of your ensemble can be plain as folk, and the shoes, the centerpiece, will make you stand out.