The Felix Chronicles: Freshmen (11 page)

“I… uh… you know, she was getting too serious and all—stage five clinger type,” Felix lied, taking a long pull from his can, buying time to come up with something believable. “She was heading off to Seattle for college and I was coming here. I thought I should have my freedom. I didn’t wanna be stuck in some dumb long-distance relationship.”

“Good for you, dude. Smart move freeing yourself up so you can bang PC chicks.”

He bought it
, Felix thought, relieved. Lucas went back to the Bud Light box, dug out two more cans and passed one to Felix.

There was a knock at the door. “Felix? Hey, it’s me.” Then louder, rising above the clamoring buzz of activity out in the hall: “Felix?” A girl’s voice—Allison’s. Felix took a step toward the door, but it swung open before he could get to it. Allison slipped into the room. Another girl followed. And then another.

“Beer!” Allison exclaimed, noticing the can in Felix’s hand. “Nice.” She smiled at him. “That better not be the last one!” She turned to the girls and said, “This is Felix,” then spun back to Felix and made a fluttery gesture with her hands that made him feel like a contestant on a game show. Back to the girls she went: “This is the guy I was telling you about. The one I went to high school with.” Then back to Felix: “This is my roommate Caitlin”—Allison held out her hand toward a girl who was six inches shorter than her, then she pointed at the other girl—“and this is Harper, Caitlin’s friend from high school.”

“Hey,” Felix said to the girls.

“Hey,” they said in return.

Lucas stepped up to announce his presence in the room: “And I’m Felix’s roommate,” he said, handing out beers and getting Felix’s attention with a big grin and a quirked eyebrow.

While Lucas passed around the beverages, Felix took the opportunity to check out the new girls. The short one—Caitlin—was cute with honey brown hair streaked with blonde highlights, and a tan so deep and rich it went below the skin, the kind that only comes from spending a long summer at the beach. She wore a pair of enormous diamond studs in her ears and her fingers were wreathed in jewels that sparkled in blue, red, and green. Her watch was understated, but Felix didn’t think she bought it at Target. She smelled like money.

The other girl—Harper—was nearly as tall as Allison. Her hair was long, blonde and slightly wavy. It occurred to Felix, quite suddenly, that she was beautiful. He tried not to stare, but the longer he looked at her, the more he realized that she wasn’t simply beautiful in a generic kind of way. She was absurdly beautiful, straight from the pages of a
Victoria’s Secret
catalogue or the
Sports Illustrated
swimsuit issue. Then, still gaping and unable to take his eyes off her, he quickly changed his mind. She was even hotter than the girls who graced the pages of those publications. She was
impossibly
beautiful; it was like she’d been airbrushed into the room.

Felix felt a warm, awkward flush creep up from his neck to his cheeks and he prayed that no one noticed he was blushing. He was literally light-headed. There wasn’t enough air in the room. His mouth was dry, too dry to speak. Luckily for him, Lucas was chatting with the girls about something; he didn’t seem nervous at all. The girls laughed. Felix was trying to listen to the conversation, but it was like everyone was speaking in Mandarin.

He knew if he didn’t stop staring, Harper was going to think he was a freak. He dragged his eyes away, finally, and glanced around the room, trying to get a handle on himself. They were all standing in a loose circle in the center of the room between beds pushed up against opposite walls. The ceiling was low and the walls were beige-white. Other than one good-sized window overlooking a clump of tall trees that partially concealed a brick building in the distance, the room was done in matching pairs: beds, desks, closets, and little wall mirrors. The arrangement was very practical and utilitarian.

Even after taking inventory of the room, Felix still couldn’t focus on what was going on… then Allison saved him. She got his attention with a question about football practice. He sputtered out something about a kid named Jimmy nearly decapitating him.

Everyone laughed.

Felix had apparently, and inadvertently, said something quite funny (he wasn’t sure what it was exactly). And when he saw Harper smiling at him it set off another round of shameless staring.

“You wanna hear something funny?” Caitlin said to no one in particular. “You”—she fixed her gaze on Lucas—“look just like that guy on
Summer Slumming
.”

Lucas held up one finger and drained his beer. Then he wiped his lips and said, “That’s because I
am
that guy on
Summer Slumming
.” He bowed deeply as if he was introducing himself to the Queen of England.

“No way!” Allison shouted. “I knew it—but I didn’t wanna say anything. They were talking about you downstairs. But everyone thought you were in Satler. I can’t believe you’re Felix’s roommate! This is so cool!”

“I’ve never known an actual celebrity,” Harper said. She sounded excited but not as excited as Allison.

“And you still don’t,” Lucas remarked with a laugh. “I’m just another reality show idiot.”

“Didn’t you have sex with that girl?” Caitlin crinkled up her nose in disgust like someone had just thrown a rotting fish into the room. “What was her name? Cheap-bling, or Venus de Sexy, or something ridiculous like that?”

“I did.” Lucas dug his free hand into a pocket of his shorts. “And for your information, her name’s
Z-Bling
. What’d you think of my performance?”

Everyone laughed.

Everyone except Caitlin. “I’d have given you an F,” she said disdainfully.

“Is that so?”
Lucas feigned surprise. “Well, maybe you can show me what I need to improve on.”

Caitlin’s eyes bulged from their sockets. Her mouth opened, then closed, then opened again as she looked back and forth from Lucas to Harper as if she was hoping Harper would provide the snappy comeback she was searching her brain for. Finally, she stammered out: “You can’t… you can’t be serious!”

Lucas smiled at her and laughed. “I’m just jerking your chain, Little C. Come on, drink your beer and relax a little. How are we gonna be friends if you take everything I say so seriously?”

“Don’t call me Little C,” Caitlin said testily. “I don’t like beer. And don’t tell me what to do.” Harper was laughing in a way that made Felix think she’d seen this from Caitlin many times before.

Lucas grinned at Caitlin’s volley, completely nonplussed. “How can you not like beer?”

“I don’t know,” Caitlin said, annoyed. “Why do I need a reason? I just don’t. I like wine.”

“Well you might wanna start appreciating it.” Lucas smiled. “‘Cause I don’t think they serve much wine at college parties.”

Caitlin frowned as she seemed to consider Lucas’s suggestion. Then she held the can up to her lips and took a sip. She quickly brought it back down and made a scrunchy face. “It’s bitter.”

“The more you drink, the sweeter it gets,” Lucas said.

“Okay then,” Allison said, watching the exchange between Caitlin and Lucas with a curious expression. “Speaking of serious, what were you guys talking about when we got here? You looked all intense.”

Felix didn’t want to bring up Emma with Allison in the room. She didn’t know all the sordid details, but she knew she broke up with him, and he didn’t want everyone knowing (especially Harper) that his high school girlfriend had kicked his sorry ass to the curb.

“Just all the shit goin’ on in Ashfield Forest,” Felix said. It was the first thing that popped into his head.

“Oh.” Caitlin tensed up like a sudden bout of acid reflux had just hit her. “My parents—Harper’s too—are concerned about it. But it’s not like we’re ever going there. That forest is way on the other side of town.”

Harper wiped a trace of foam from her upper lip and said quietly, “It’s still too close if you ask me. I wish it was on the other side of the world. It’s just so depressing.”

“Yeah, but not as depressing as the Faceman,” Caitlin said in a grim voice, her somber tone darkening the mood like a blanket.

The room went silent, heads nodding in agreement.

“I mean,” Caitlin continued, “you can just avoid whatever’s going on in the forest. It’s simple—you just don’t go. Problem solved. But the Faceman… well… he—”

“Finds you, kidnaps you and blows your face off,” Harper finished quickly.

More head nodding and nervous grunts of assent.

“If you’re an only child, raise your hand,” Lucas said, looking around at each of them.

No explanation was necessary; they all knew what that meant.

Caitlin shuddered and slowly raised her hand.

Felix raised his beer above his head. He glanced at Allison, wondering what she was going to do. She was staring at him. Her expression was hard, her eyes cold. He could take a hint. If she didn’t want to tell anyone she was adopted (and an only child) that was fine by him. It’s not like he would ever volunteer that information anyway.
She had to know that.
He didn’t think her eye daggers were really necessary.

“I have a sister,” Harper said.

“I have two,” Allison said, her fierce stare still on Felix.

“Four brothers,” Lucas added. “So I guess that means Felix and Caitlin are going to die this year.”

“Hey!” Caitlin screamed at Lucas. “That’s not funny. You shouldn’t even joke about things like that.”

“Okay,” Lucas said. “Okay. I’m sorry. I’m just joking. I take it back. Geez. You’re awfully sensitive for someone so cute, Little C. Nobody’s gonna die this year, okay? Nobody.”

The frat party started off with the five of them getting lost on the way to the house. Maybe it was because the campus looked different at night or because no one knew their way around (besides Felix, who was walking behind Harper and paying more attention to her ass than where they were going). Or maybe it was the case of beer they’d polished off in two hours. Whatever it was, thirty minutes after leaving the dorm they were right back at the Freshman Yard. Twenty minutes after that, Caitlin took Lucas’s phone—the two beers she’d choked down had apparently gone to her head—and took off like a scared rabbit. Lucas chased after her and she fell into a shrub. He got his phone back but she lost a shoe—her
favorite
shoe. A lengthy search yielded nothing, and they were only able to continue on their way after Lucas convinced her that he’d seen an unusually large squirrel scurrying off with it.

Then it got awkward.

It seemed like the entire student body had descended on Greek Row, stately old behemoths clustered along Adams Street on the northwestern corner of campus. While Felix was trying to decide if the houses reminded him of funeral homes or something out of
Gone With The Wind
, a pair of Betas at the door let them all in after taking an unnecessarily long look at the girls. Before Felix had time to get too worked up at the way the Betas were checking out the girls they were inside the house. The inside may have been as stately as the outside, but it was too dark, too crowded, and too loud to get a sense of anything. They made their way to the keg room where a group of Betas swarmed the girls like park pigeons swooping down on bread crumbs scattered on the sidewalk; the Betas brought the girls beers and led them off to the dance floor. Meanwhile, Felix and Lucas got their own beers and led themselves to a darkened corner where they drank and shouted at each other to be heard over music so loud it vibrated the floors and rattled the pictures (horses and boats) on the walls.

Then it got annoying.

Some of the kids at the party didn’t look like kids at all. They looked… old. Like adults. And everyone there seemed to know everyone else. And if that wasn’t enough to make Felix feel like an outsider, a short Beta with a spiky faux hawk made a point of throwing a shoulder into his chest as he walked by; then he gave Felix a look that left no doubt he was looking for a fight. That happened just as Harper emerged from the dance floor with enough Betas trailing behind her to form a basketball team. Felix watched her break into peals of laughter as one of the Betas (they were all wearing shirts with bright red “Bs” splashed across their chests) leaned in and whispered something in her ear. Felix felt his face getting hot. His stomach started to knot up. Then Harper and her entourage disappeared back into the sea of thrashing bodies. Felix drained the rest of his beer and slipped into line to get another, thinking that this was the worst party ever.

It was about to get a whole lot worse.

Most of the kegs had kicked. It was getting late. Lucas had just told another girl—the fourth tonight—that he wasn’t Minnesota Mayer. When Felix gave him a surprised look, Lucas shrugged and said, “If I wanted to bang mediocre chicks I’d have to put ‘em on a waiting list.” He was laughing, but Felix didn’t think it was a joke.

Harper and Caitlin returned to the keg room, heads close together, nodding quickly, mouths working fast. When they were within shouting range, Caitlin gave them a questioning look and said, “She’s not with you?”

“Who?” Felix asked. He was already annoyed, and wishing they hadn’t come here. When they’d left the dorm, he never thought the night would play out like this. He wasn’t expecting to hook up with Harper (of course he’d thought about it—
a lot
), but he didn’t think she’d spend the night laughing, dancing and drinking with twenty other guys. What did they have that he didn’t? Why didn’t she want to hang out with him?

“Allison,” Caitlin said.

“We haven’t seen her in, I don’t know, an hour maybe,” Felix replied.

Harper and Caitlin exchanged a glance.

“What’s going on?” Felix asked, feeling like Harper and Caitlin were trying to hide something from him. But why would they do that?

“You think she’s with
him
?” Harper said to Caitlin.

“I don’t know.” Caitlin shrugged. “Maybe. But we should look in case…”

“Who’s
him
?” Felix shouted at them.