The Final Lesson Plan (30 page)

Driving home, Janelle told me all about Marcus. I just wanted to run into him one night in a dark alley—just once. What Leo and I did to him at his house wasn't nearly all he deserved. That fucker had some shit coming to him, and I prayed that I'd be the one to deliver it.

"I fucking can't believe she got knocked up," I said, laughing. "Fucker deserves it."

"I know, right," she said. I loved that she finally got her revenge-even if it wasn't all that epic. Knowing Janelle and her bleeding heart, she probably thought he'd gotten enough. I loved that about her.

"Part of me agrees with Marcus though. Ain't no time for kids," I admitted. "And to think, Cling's gonna give you up to go play daddy to his sister's kids. No way."

Janelle turned toward me slowly and said, "Uh…what? Excuse me?"

"I mean, it's noble and all, but raising your own kids in this world is hard enough, especially with how fucked up our world is. Look at Tate. He's even got good parents. The best parents, and he's still all kinds of fucked up. Now, Cling's gonna raise someone else's kids. No thanks."

"Umm Briggs, are you telling me that you don't want kids?" she asked, staring at me in horror.

"Not really. Not that big of a fan, really. I guess I like other people's kids, but I don't want my own," I said. Realizing that these were not words that Janelle wanted to be hearing, I added, "Don't you think the world's a horrible place? Would you really want to bring kids into it?"

Taking a deep breath, she said, "Yes, I do think that people make terrible choices and hurt others. But that does not stop me from wanting a child, my own child. Briggs, I think a terrible decision would be to not have kids."

"You do?" I'd never heard her talk so passionately about anything before.

"Of course. I can't wait to have kids," she said, sadly, looking away from me.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

She shook her head, and continued to look out the window.

"Janelle, tell me. What's wrong?" I hated that I'd upset her.

"In one breath you invited me to Connecticut and then told me that you didn't want kids," she explained. "I need to process that. That's a little tough to handle—"

"Hey…hey…hold up, if you're upset that I don't want kids, then we can talk about it again sometime…in a few years or so. I guess I wouldn't be opposed to having like one kid or something if it would make you happy," I said. I killed the engine on the car and turned toward her. "I'd do anything for you. You want me to knock you up, I'll bun that oven right now, Babe."

Smiling, she shook her head, and said, "Gee thanks."

"No, I'm serious. We can talk about this again. I guess I'm surprised you didn't already know this about me. I thought Char'd tell you for sure. She said you'd be pissed when you found out." I said.

"Char knew that you didn't want kids?" she asked incredulously.

"Yeah…she said it would be a deal-breaker for you. I thought she was exaggerating since you'd never mentioned it before," I recalled. "I guess I knew you were pissed about your ex getting snipped. But we never spoke about it. I just figured she was being typical over-dramatic Char."

"I can't believe she knew about this and didn't tell me," Janelle marveled.

"Me either. But there are quite a few things that Char doesn't tell you," I admitted. "But don't bother asking me what. It's up to her to tell you. I'm staying the fuck out of some cat fight."

"Char and I don't fight," Janelle stated. Just as she finished her sentence an SUV pulled in the driveway behind us, lighting up the car with its headlights. In the light, I realized that she'd been crying. Fuck. I'd upset her.

"Oh my God, that's Leo's car!" she squealed delightedly, making me feel like I'd just been punched in the stomach. Fucking blows. Janelle jumped out of the car, sprinting excitedly over to him.

I got out of my car, ready to finally tell Leo that I'd had enough of him and for him to just get the fuck out of our lives. Our lives. It sounded so real. So right. I walked over to where they were standing, hating that he had his arms around her, was holding her.

"What the fuck, Cling?" I asked, forcing them to let go and face me. Leo was a wreck; he was crying like I'd never seen a man cry before. Pussy.

"Go in the house Briggs," Janelle said, glaring at me.

"No, I'll go," Leo said, backing toward his car.

Janelle gritted her teeth at me, and said "House."

"I'm not going back in the house, so you and Cling can start back up again," I argued, getting pissed at her for even suggesting it. "This is bullshit. I just fucking asked you to move to Connecticut with me. He dropped you. What the fuck is this about? He's not coming in here and crying his way back into your life, Janelle. Grow up. It's a ploy." I said. Granted, it wasn't my finest moment, but of course, I didn't realize how much of an ass I really was at the time.

"I wasn't trying to get her back," Leo said, opening his car door.

"Right Cling," I said. "Always using the good guy card. It's not working this time. You lost dude. Accept it. You threw in the towel. You're done."

"Ya know what, Alexander. That's it. I've had it with you," he said, coming at me. "You've been wanting this for so long, so have at it. Fucking punch me. Lay me flat. That's what you've wanted all along."

"Don't even tempt me. It's not worth it," I scoffed. "Get in your car and go home."

"No Briggs, I want you to. Let's see how tough you really are. Let's see you beat the fuck out of me. You're always threatening to do so. So do it," he goaded.

Janelle came in between us and screamed, "Briggs go in the fucking house or go home. Now!"

That did it, I snapped. I full out snapped. "Are you fucking kidding me? That's how this is going to go down. You're gonna choose him right here, right now, after how he abandoned you? This is bullshit. Fuck this, Janelle. Fuck it all," I shoved past both of them and got into my car.

Once I started my car, I looked up. Janelle was on her knees, crying in the yard. Leo had his back to her, crying harder. What the fuck? Was he the biggest pussy in the fucking world? Jesus Christ, it wasn't like someone died—

Oh fuck.

Oh no.

Oh shit.

I vividly remembered when I was on that surfboard, and I felt my feet begin to slip. I remembered thinking, "Just don't let this be it." I didn't want to know the exact moment when all of my hopes and dreams for the future shattered right in front of me. It was like it was happening in slow motion. I'd wanted that scholarship. I'd worked so hard, busted my ass to play college ball. But I knew when my foot started to give way and slide off the board that I could be losing all that I'd ever wanted. For so long, I thought that the only thing I really ever wanted was to eventually play in the NFL. There was no dream, no wish that I wanted to come true more than that.

Until now. I knew it was over. There was never going to be a future with her. She'd never forgive me for this. Her heart was too selfless, too kind, to ever forgive someone for adding pain to someone who was already suffering so much. Janelle would never be able to look at me the same way again.

I sat there watching them, witnessing their coupled agony, as they each suffered alone, facing away from each other. How fucking stupid could I be? I turned the car off, punched my dashboard a few times, and got out of the car. Leo turned to me, looking defeated and worn.

I didn't know what to say. Well, I knew I should apologize. But I just couldn't find the words. I put my hand out to help Janelle up off the ground. Hesitantly, she took it, slightly smiling as she nodded at me. I put my arm around her as we both approached Leo. I put my arm around him, too, and led them both to the pool house. Once inside, I grabbed Janelle's laptop and went into her bedroom, leaving them alone to talk.

Before I left the room, I asked "What part of Arizona?"

"Scottsdale. Why?" Leo said, putting his head back on the chair.

"Just wondered," I replied, before closing the door.

I booked Leo and Janelle two first class tickets to Scottsdale on the first flight in the morning. It was the least I could do. Once I finalized all the travel information and flight numbers, I told the woman on the line to hold, so I could get their social security numbers and birth dates.

"You didn't have to do that, Briggs," Leo said. "I'm actually scheduled to fly out tomorrow night"

"And now, you're going earlier," I said, pounding him on the back.

"Thank you," he said, pausing slightly before he one-handed hugged me.

"I'm gonna get going," I said, walking toward the door.

"Briggs, wait," Janelle said, following me out.

She wrapped her arms around me, nestling her head against my chest. "You're wonderful. You're perfect."

"Come again?" I asked, not believing my ears.

"Don't get me wrong, you're a fucking asshole, but you sure know how to redeem yourself," she teased, leaning up to kiss me. I held her close to me, cherishing the feel of her in my arms, savoring her scent. I just prayed that this wasn't the last time I got to hold her like this.

I hated flying. The flight home was horrendous. Since I'd packed so quickly to go, I'd forgotten all of my knock-my-ass-out drugs. Flying without them was the worst. I kept replaying everything in my mind. When Briggs asked me to move to Connecticut, I couldn't have been happier. Running away with him seemed like the perfect solution, but then I realized it would be running away. I needed to face the school year, my scandal, and the final disillusionment of my marriage with aplomb and grace. I couldn't hide from it all.

Leo'd been the epitome of strength and courage all weekend long. His mom, dad, and Cliff were a wreck, barely surviving. Leo had taken care of Austin and Avery as if it were the most natural thing in the world to him. It probably was. I glanced over at him, marveling at how strong and tenacious he was. He'd had one major breakdown at the funeral when the organist played a song that reminded him of Megan. He gripped my hand so hard; I worried that my fingers would never function properly again.

We'd spent one night talking until the wee hours of the night. Leo shared so many stories of his childhood, describing his relationship with Megan so thoroughly that I felt I'd known her my entire life. I lamented that I wasn't able to know her, share in his love for her. Purging so many stories, coupled with raw emotion, led to one intense and intimate sexual encounter that left me empty and lonely. I recognized it for what it was. The final goodbye.

Leo Cling was still moving to Scottsdale; he'd only flown home with me to…well…fly home with me. He knew how much I loathed flying, so he wanted to make the flight more bearable. Having my hand in his, certainly did comfort me, making me feel safe and secure.

Waiting to get off the plane, Leo looked at me and said, "Thank you for coming with me. I couldn't have done this alone."

I hugged him and said, "I'm quite positive you could have. You're pretty amazing, Leo Cling."

Once we got to the baggage claim, Char was waiting for me. I knew she was going to be there, but I felt a little sad to leave Leo. I wanted to make sure he was going to be okay. Nearly reading my mind, he said, "Don't worry about me. I'm gonna be just fine. I'll call you before I leave."

"When are you leaving for good?" I asked, as we waited for our luggage.

"Probably Thursday or Friday. I haven't checked the flights. My parents are coming home on Saturday, so I want to get back out there before they come home," he explained.

"Bye Leo," I said, hugging him, wishing I never had to say those words.

"Bye Janelle," he said, smiling sadly at me. "Take care."