The Fine Line (7 page)

Heat emanated from his lips as they gently touched mine, hesitating in place for several moments, and igniting a surge of fire through my blood.  The longer the kiss lingered, the more my skin began to burn, and when my lips parted and his tongue slowly discovered mine, my body pulsed. 

My hands slowly moved to his face, then the back of his neck, and I pulled him toward me. His hand took my neck, and he drew me closer.  My control was gone.  I was enraptured in the moment.  This was happening, and although it was going against my plans, there was something so right about it.

He began to lay me down onto the couch when he stopped, abruptly pulling away and forcing himself back up to a sitting position.  Following his lead, I sat back up.  His eyes focused on me for a moment with a confused expression on his face that matched my thoughts…
Holy shit, that was intense.

He took me behind the neck and drew me closer to him, his lips no more than an inch from mine.  Then, just at the moment I thought he would continue our kiss, he closed his eyes and placed his forehead on mine, taking a deep breath in. 

My heartbeat was almost deafening as it pounded throughout my body, my chest moving up and down as I tried to catch my breath and regain composure.  Pulling away, he opened his eyes and looked at me with intensity, passion, and…confusion.  “This isn’t why I brought you here, Liv,” he whispered.  “I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

Then he kissed me softly on the forehead and slowly leaned back into the couch cushion.  Maybe it was the music, maybe it was the drinks, but a mixture of emotions flooded my senses.  I was both grateful and disappointed that he stopped and confused about why I couldn’t.  I was mad at myself for being so irresponsible, but at the same time, I couldn’t deny the feeling of both peace and excitement that he gave me.

My head found a place to rest in the nook between his chest and his shoulder, as my arms held him.  Closing my eyes, I became lost in the music.

Chapter Eight

The car screamed of familiarity.  The soft, cushioned fabric of the passenger seat that I occupied was more comfortable than that of today’s cars, and I wondered why car companies decided to make newer cars with such firm seats.  That was a bad choice. 

With the engine off, and with only myself in the car, it was quiet.  Almost too quiet.  Taking in my surroundings, I realized this was a car I knew well but hadn’t been in for at least eight years.  The multi-CD holder in the driver’s side sun visor still rested in its place.  The miniature dream catcher still hung from the rear-view mirror.  The coffee stain still marked the driver’s seat from when Kevin had to slam on the brakes because his laughter from my joke had distracted him. 

Looking out the window, a thick fog surrounded the car, making any visibility nonexistent.   It was morning but still dark out, and an orange glow laced the fog from the streetlight above.  The door clicked open, letting in the brisk, misty air.  The car bounced slightly as Kevin sat down in the driver’s seat, and he closed the door once he was in.

Even though I just saw him last night, I beamed with elation from the very fact that he sat here next to me, and my eyes filled with tears.

I’ve missed him so much.

A thin layer of stubble covered his cheeks, and his tangled shoulder-length hair had been pulled back into a low ponytail with the shorter parts tucked behind his ears.  He wore the same flannel shirt he had on last night.  It had become routine for him to drive me to school on the mornings after he spent the night at our house…which had become more frequent lately.  I couldn’t wait for him to move in with Mom and me.  I cherished the close family feeling I got when the three of us were together. 

After starting the car, he turned to me with a kind smile which quickly disappeared when he noticed my tears.  “What’s wrong, hon?”

It was Logan’s voice coming out of Kevin’s mouth. 

I shook my head.  “Nothing.  I just had a bad dream last night, and I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“You wanna tell me about it?”

No way.  Telling him that he died in my dream—that he was gone and buried in the ground—might make it real.  “No.  It’s okay.   I’ll get over it.”  I didn’t like it that his voice sounded wrong, and I became apprehensive.  But his face exuded warmth, and seeing him made me feel…good.

He nodded as if he understood me, then directed his gaze to the dream catcher.  Removing it from the rearview mirror, he handed it to me.  “Do you know how these things work?”

I shook my head, becoming distracted by the little circle of white light coming from beyond the driver’s side window. 

“It’s a dream catcher,” Logan’s voice said through Kevin’s mouth.  “If you hang it above your bed, it’ll filter out the bad dreams and only let the good dreams enter your mind.”

The light was getting bigger…brighter.  It mesmerized me, and I couldn’t take my eyes off it.   My eyes squinted, trying to get a better look through the fog.  Logan’s voice continued to speak, but I couldn’t make out any words.  Only muffled echoes.  Then the light parted, becoming two bright circles, and as they got bigger, they began to move sporadically from side to side.  That’s when I realized what was happening, and I had to stop it.  I took hold of Kevin’s arm, but it wasn’t his arm anymore; it was Logan’s.  “Get out of the car!” I begged, “You have to get out!” 

It was Logan’s hazel eyes that stared back at me, but he continued to speak calmly as if he didn’t hear me.  “Your mom means the world to me, Livie, and so do you.  I promise you can always count on me.  For anything.” 

“Please get out!  You have to hurry!”  The light was too close.  He’d have to get out on my side.  I pushed my door open and tugged on his arm, causing him to look down at my hand.  In the split second it took for us both to look back up at each other, a horn blared and headlights blinded me.  As glass shattered and metal screeched, everything became black.

Dream catchers are a myth.   Nightmares are inevitable. 

*

My phone buzzed in my back pocket, ripping me out of my dreams.  My neck was stiff, and I became aware that I was sitting upright.  I forced my tired eyes open and focused on what was right in front of me.  A huge ass TV. 
Crap!
  I was still in Logan’s apartment.  Music still played, but it wasn’t blues anymore.  My head slowly turned to the left to see Logan’s chest rising and falling with each deep breath he took as he slept. 

As I lifted my head off his shoulder, I pulled my phone out of my back pocket to look at the time.  It was still dark, so it couldn’t have been too late…or early depending on how you looked at it.  The screen on my phone said it was 3:01AM.  Two and a half hours after curfew, and I had one missed call from my mother.  She and Jeff must’ve just gotten home from the pub and realized I wasn’t there.  Wanting to avoid an unpleasant conversation, I decided to text her, instead of calling.

Fell asleep @ a friends.  Be home soon.

What friend?

No one u know.

Home.  Now.

Coming.

Irritation swept over me as I thought about how incredibly stupid a curfew actually was for someone who would be eighteen in a few short months.  Logan’s sleepy eyes were already on me when I turned to wake him. 

“Are you in trouble?” he mumbled.

“No, but I need to go home now.”

We both stayed silent as we walked out the door.  When we got in the car and began to drive, I replayed the evening in my mind, becoming even more irritated as I thought about how it ended.  I couldn’t believe I had fallen for Logan’s crap.  I let out one single chuckle and shook my head at the realization of how gullible I had been.

“You okay?” Logan asked.

“Oh yeah, I’m fine,” I retorted.

He eyed me with hesitation.  “Are you mad?”

“No.  I’m not mad,” I huffed.  “It’s just…”  I tried to remain calm, but I was not the type of person to keep quiet when something was on my mind.  “What the hell was that last night?”

“What was what?” he asked as if he were completely oblivious to the event I was referring to.  He probably did this sort of thing with all the girls, and I was just one of many who fell for his stupid charm.  And beautiful eyes.

“Are you kidding?” I asked.

Then, as if I weren’t already fuming enough, he grinned.  “Are you mad that it started, or mad that it stopped?”

My jaw dropped.  I was speechless for a moment…but not long.  “What kind of question is that?  Is this what you do with girls?  Get them to your apartment and then fuck with their minds?  You said you were cool with being friends.  You told me you weren’t going to ‘put the moves’ on me!”  I said that last part with my fingers in the air as quotations.

His humored expression converted to one of frustration.  “No, Liv, when girls come to my apartment, it’s pretty straightforward.  No ‘mind’ fucking involved!”  Now his fingers were in the air for quotations.

That shut me up. 

He let out a deep sigh and ran his fingers through his hair, keeping his eyes on the road.  “Shit, that came out wrong.”

“Pull over.”

“What?”

“You heard me, pull the fucking car over.  I’m walking home.”  What the hell was wrong with me?  I didn’t want to walk home.  This man was making me crazy.  Or maybe I was just tired and still a little buzzed.

“You’re not walking home.” 

“I can’t believe I fell for your shit, Logan.  I have to admit, that last part, with the music, was pretty smooth.  I bet that gets the girls to your bedroom every time.”

“What the hell?  Liv…I had no intention of getting in your pants last night!  I’m the one who stopped, remember?!”  He took a deep breath to calm himself.  We stopped at a red light, and I placed my hand on the door handle, ready to bolt at any moment. 

He continued, “What I meant to say was…I’m sorry.  You’re right, I don’t know what happened last night…when we, you know…but it wasn’t my intention.”  He looked me in the eye and took my hand.  “I think you’re fun, Liv.  I had fun with you last night, and I really do want to be friends.”

As much as I wanted to stay mad, he said exactly what I needed to hear, in exactly the way I needed to hear it.  I let it sink in as the light turned green and the car moved forward.  It took the rest of the drive home, but I calmed down and felt normal again by the time we pulled into my driveway.  I thought about our night together.  I had fun with him too.  In fact, I don’t remember ever feeling such a connection with anyone else.  Not even Melody. 

“What was your intention, Logan?” I asked as his car idled in front of my house. “Why did you take me there?”

He brought his hand to his chin and brushed it back and forth as he contemplated what he would say.  Then he looked me in the eye with a nervous expression.  “Please don’t take this the wrong way.  You just seemed a little…closed off.  I thought if you saw a little of my world, you would open up yours.”

“Your apartment is your world?”

A chuckle escaped him as he shook his head.  “I never planned on taking you up to my apartment!  You asked me about my family last night, and the first thing that came to mind was the shop.  My dad and I spent a lot of time there together.”

He sighed, then his expression turned serious.  His eyes were intense, with sadness behind them, when he looked at me.  “I don’t know why, but I wanted to show you the Nova.  I haven’t taken the cover off it since…The last time I saw it was with my dad standing next to me.” 

“Oh…”  I wasn’t sure how to respond to that, and for the first time since the bonfire, there was an awkward silence.

“Hey, are we good?”  He gave me a hopeful look.

“Yeah, we’re good.”  And it was the truth.

Chapter Nine

Logan and I really were good after that night.  Great, actually.  As the days passed, we began spending more and more time together.  We saw each other every weekend, and if we didn’t see each other during the week, we spoke on the phone or texted every day. 

Some days he would pick me up after work and take me for ice cream at Milo’s.  Other days I would see him at Gavin’s where he and Gavin would work on their cars while I did my homework on the couch in the garage.  The more time we spent together, the easier it was to shake the attraction I had for him, but the electricity I felt when he touched me never fully went away. 

I had mentioned to him one single time that I hated doing my homework in a quiet, empty house, and he had made every attempt since then to make sure that didn’t happen anymore, inviting me over to “study.”  His version of studying was working on cars or reading instruction manuals, while mine was actual school work. 

Today, since I didn’t have to work after school, I had plans to go to his shop.  I hadn’t been there since the night I fell asleep on his shoulder, almost four weeks ago.  As I pulled into the parking lot, I noticed that in contrast to the last time I was here, all four garage doors were open and several mechanics were busy at work on different cars. I parked my car in the lot and began walking towards the garage.  I didn’t see Logan at first, so I didn’t know if I should enter through the side door or one of the front overhead doors.  I decided on the latter.

Several of the grease-covered men stopped what they were doing and turned their heads as I approached.  One of them whistled. 

“Shut-it Carter.  Get back to work,” Logan yelled as he appeared from behind the covered Nova and began walking toward me.  He had been sitting at the desk in back of the shop.  “Dipshit.”

“Show the lady some respect, man.  Jesus–this is a business.” another guy said.  Carter laughed, and the men returned to what they were doing.  It only took me a second to remember that Carter was the one with Logan on the night I met him.  I glanced over and noticed that the other guy who came to my defense was the same one who was carding people in front of the beer tent that same night.