The Fire Mages' Daughter (18 page)

Sodomising?
Well, we had similar swear words, I suppose.

Ly stomped up the steps to the terrace, his lips compressed into a thin line, and knelt down to continue work on the fish. His mother harangued him for some time, in colourful language which didn’t translate terribly well, while I tried very hard not to laugh. Eventually, the oarsmen headed the boat for the shore, and then she yelled at them, too. What a woman!

“They have gone,” I said, jumping down from the wall and moving across to a seat where I could watch Ly working. He was quick with a knife, and he soon had the fish gutted, and set about stuffing it with all sorts of things I couldn’t identify. His slender fingers moved deftly, lifting and pushing and barely spilling any of it.

“Yes. Thank the ancestors.” That was in his own language, I guessed.

“At least she didn’t come ashore.”

“She cannot. This is my island. Every adult male can claim an island, just as every adult female has a
clava
.”

“What did she want?”

I spoke casually, but I almost held my breath as I waited for his answer. He had no idea I’d understood every word. Would he lie to me, or prevaricate? Or would the new spirit of openness prevail?

“Something to do with her eagle.” He shrugged, still focused on the fish in front of him. “Not important.”

Oh, but there you were quite wrong, Ly. It was so hard not to smile at this glib dismissal. He had no idea what was going on.

“All that fuss for a bird?”

He looked up at me then, serious. “You cannot understand, perhaps… but such bonds are formed at the threshold to adulthood and last for life. People become very fond of their bonded beasts. Very close. A bond is special. Only death breaks it.”

Or me, I thought. But he had said nothing about the rest of it – the message sent to Kingswell, or the army, perhaps, and the messenger shot as answer. I wondered if they had killed him, which would be a great breach of protocol. But perhaps in war there was no protocol. Yannassia could be tough, I knew that. I burned to know more about it, but unless Ly mentioned it, I could not say anything.

Time for a change of approach. “She was very rude to you, your mother. All that shouting! Considering you’re her leader.”

Another smile. “That is not quite how it works.”

“No?”

He wrapped the fish in leaves, fastening them together with slivers of wood, then placed the parcel on the hot stone in the fire.

“There. That will take a while to cook. Come.”

He led the way down to the water’s edge, where he washed his hands and then sat cross-legged on the smooth pebbles that formed a narrow beach here. He pointed me to a flat rock nearby, where I sat and waited. I said nothing, leaving the talking to him.

“All the clans are separate. The elders make all decisions for their clan, and there is strict ranking. Everyone knows their place. Children are the lowest. The first fifteen years are the age of childhood. Five years with the mother’s clan, then five with the father’s, then another five with the mother’s clan again. My mother is trader clan, but my father is hunter clan. He taught me to survive on my own in the wild.”

His face softened as he spoke of his father. It was obvious that he had good feelings about him, and their time together. All that catching of rodents and finding of mushrooms and delicious cooking – all that came from his father, then. Interesting.

“My connection – my original connection – is with languages, so I expected to stay with my mother’s clan when I became adult. And then…” He spread his hands. “Everything changed. But not entirely. I am still bound by the conventions. The second fifteen years is the age of learning, and also of regeneration. So I must learn to be
byan shar
, and I must also regenerate the population, and breed a generation with enhanced connections. But I have no greater rank than before. I still live with my mother, and obey her.” A quirk of the lips. “When I can.”

I couldn’t suppress an exclamation of surprise. Obey his mother? What a dreadful fate.

“Do you have to do everything she says?”

“Well, not quite. But she makes the important decisions. For now. Sometime in the future I will have a wife, and then I will have to follow
her
wishes. I once thought perhaps
you
… But I see it could not work.”

Well, he’d got that right. I shuddered.

He must have seen the expression on my face, for he flushed and raced on with his story. “The third fifteen years is the age of strength, and also the age of harmony. By then, I should have full control of my powers, and the ability to unite all my people, all the clans. Then perhaps I will be a leader. And then…”

He fell silent, chewing his lip and staring at the ground.

“Then?” I said.

He lifted his head, and I saw a terrible bleakness there.

“Then we make war.”

I stared at him, appalled.

“But why? And who will you make war against? Us?”

“Maybe. Whoever is seen as the weakest, I suppose. I do not know.” He rubbed his face tiredly. “It is a long way off, Drina. Fifteen, twenty years, perhaps.”

“But you don’t have to,” I said. “You will have the choice.”

“No. That is what the
byan shar
is here for, to lead the clans in war.”

“But I’ve read of other
byan shar
who became great religious leaders.”

“Women. If a woman is chosen, she makes peace. A man must make war. That is my destiny, Drina.”

He jumped up. “Let us go back. The fish will be ready to turn over.”

~~~~~

The fish was exquisite. I had never tasted anything like it, and I ate until I was ready to burst. Then, too full even to move, I lay down on my furs and slept.

When I woke, Ly was sitting cross-legged nearby, watching me. He gave me a half-smile as I stretched and yawned.

“Would you like something? A drink? Food?”

I laughed at that. “Nothing to eat, but perhaps some water.”

He ran off eagerly to fill a jug from the small stream that ran through the woods nearby and out to the lake. It was cool and delicious.

“Drina…” he began, folding himself down again. “There is something I must tell you.”

Ah. So the spirit of openness prevailed.

“My mother… there is some news. From your people. We sent a messenger to the army encampment, to tell them that we have you as our prisoner, and they must leave. They… they shot the messenger.”

“Oh. Shot him dead?”

He frowned. “I do not know. I will ask, when I get the chance. But they do not want to talk to us about getting you back.”

I lifted a shoulder indifferently. “Well, you will be feeding me for a while longer, then.”

“Yes.” But there was no smile on his face, and I remembered his mother’s suggestion that they throw me into the lake. And Ly was bound to obey his mother. I shivered.

~~~~~

The following sun, Ly began to get restless. My awareness of his magic meant that I noticed as soon as his enhanced blood began to replenish itself. Could they all do that, I wondered, or was it special to Ly? Could his mother regenerate her power? But connecting through the eagle, I could detect no sign of her. Not yet, anyway.

But Ly’s power was coming back, and with it his attraction towards me. He said nothing, did nothing, but he was jittery, bouncing along on the balls of his feet, as when I’d first seen him. He slept less well, and took off for walks at odd hours.

I was curious to see how he would deal with the situation, given his regret over the previous occasion, which seemed genuine enough. Would he allow it to happen again? He could hardly avoid it, if we stayed here, living and sleeping so close to each other.

He raised the issue himself, as we ate our stew at noon. “Drina, are you aware that… it is returning? This… this
urge
that I have? Have you noticed?”

I nodded.

“I cannot stay,” he said, his voice full of sorrow. “It has been wonderful to share this place with you, and I have loved every minute of it, but I have to leave. I have to be far away from you, or else…” His head drooped. “I will take you back to the castle. You will have to be locked up again, but—”

“I’m not going back to that room!” I hissed. “Never!”

His eyebrows rose. He knew perfectly well that I had no choice in the matter, but he chose not to say so. “I do not quite see what the alternative is. You cannot stay here, for I do not think you have the knowledge to survive alone. I have to take you back there, and I will have no say in what happens to you. They will want to keep you somewhere secure, and that means the castle. You are a valuable prisoner, Drina.”

He was right, of course, but the prospect of confinement in that room was horrible. And how could I escape, caged like that? Even if I could command the eagle unhindered, she was no use to me unless I were free.

My best prospect of escape was to stay here on the island, and that meant that Ly had to stay as well. And
that
meant…

While he went down to the shore to clean the bowls and spoons, I hunched myself into a corner of the terrace, leaning against the wall. I didn’t want to do it, that much was certain. If I had to sleep with any man, I’d want it to be Arran, my lovely Arran, filling me with warmth and holding me so tenderly. There was a great emptiness inside me since he’d gone, and a part of me would be happy to have him back on any terms. Love makes fools of us all.

With Ly, there would be no tenderness, no warmth, just that dreadful feeling of falling into a dark place, with no control, and barely any awareness of the physical activities. It was like hurtling down an endless well, all my senses screaming as fire consumed me. No, I didn’t want that at all, but if it would allow him to stay here with me for a while longer, until I could find a way to control the eagle…

A sudden thought. If we had sex, he would lose all his magic again. Perhaps he would also lose the ability to control the eagle? Perhaps then
I
would have command of her and I could escape. Would it work? I would have to try it to find out. It would be risky, but it would make the sex worthwhile, at least.

I remembered what he’d said about the kissing. He knew how to bring pleasure to his women afterwards, to counter the bad experience. Thinking about Arran had reminded me of the good moments we’d shared. Not in our usual couplings, for although they made me feel warm inside, and I was always sorry when he stopped, they were no more than mildly pleasant. No, it was those magic-fuelled times when I’d returned from the Imperial City overflowing with energy. Then I’d been swept up in the experience, and had burned with the flames of passion just as he did. Perhaps even more, if I’m honest.

But that wasn’t a normal response, I was sure of it. I’d read about female pleasure, naturally. Plenty of books talked about it, and I’d even witnessed it, once, many years ago. It would have been just before Yannassia sent for me, and I was reading in the hayloft above the stables. One of the junior cooks came into the stables below with a stablehand, and they set about their business, quite unaware that I was hiding just above them. To say that the woman enjoyed the experience would be an understatement. She was braying like a donkey at one point, and practically screaming by the end.

Without the involvement of magic, I’d never experienced anything like that, not even with Arran, and certainly not with Ly or poor Lathran. Only magic brought me to that level of intensity. Could Ly do that to me? Perhaps if I’d had Arran waiting for me at home, I wouldn’t have been tempted, but grief and loneliness make people do the strangest things. I wanted to try it, to see if Ly could erase the ache in my heart for a while.

So when Ly came back, I said, “You know, we could just… let it happen again. Then we could stay here.”

“Oh, Drina. I know you do not wish for it.”

“No, but I wish to be locked up in that foul room even less. It isn’t so bad if I’m prepared for it. And you could do the kissing thing. If you want.”

His face lit up like a lamp. “Oh, I should like to do that for you! Yes! That would be so much better. I shall find something special for supper, then, and afterwards…” He gave me a smile of such heart-stopping warmth that for a moment I almost liked him. “Thank you, Drina. Thank you so much.”

He was busy all afternoon, bringing this and that treat for evening board, and preparing a host of special foods he thought I would enjoy. He was excited, almost happy, and his rising magical energy was at least channelled into productive activity.

While he worked, and later, as we ate, he chattered away, telling me about his father, with whom he had clearly been very happy, and sometimes, pulling wry faces, about his mother.

“Why do you stay with her?” I asked. “Why not go back to your father?”

“My connection is with languages,” he said sorrowfully. “That is a trader clan skill.”

“A connection with languages? What does that mean?”

“I understand when people speak their own language. That makes it easy for me to learn new languages. Like Bennamorian.”

A connection with languages. Understanding when people speak their own languages. That was exactly my own ability. How strange. Or perhaps that was partly why we had this strange affinity, through some peculiarity of mind.

“Is it unusual, this connection?”

“Yes, very rare. That is why I have to be trader clan.”

“Yet you are not happy there,” I said. He lowered his eyes, not answering, but I ploughed on regardless. “It seems very wrong to force you to join this clan when you would obviously have been much happier with your father’s clan.”

“You think people should do whatever they want? That would be anarchy.”

“I think everyone should have a choice.”

“Does everyone in Bennamore have a choice? Did
you
have a choice?”

That struck too close to the mark, and I couldn’t answer him.

For the first time, Ly made no move to clean the plates and pots after the meal. There was a glitter in his eyes, and he watched me constantly, rocking slightly.

Well, no point putting it off.

“Come here,” I said, holding out my hand to him.

I was sitting on one of the stone seats built into the wall, while he sat, as usual, on the ground, one leg bent under him. He uncoiled himself eagerly and came across to me, but then, ignoring my outstretched hand, he knelt at my feet.

“Drina… I want to say… I apologise in advance for what I will do next. I wish more than anything that it could be different, that we could be friends, at least. But when this
thing
happens, it feels like we are enemies, and I hate that. Please, please do not judge me by the next few moments. Everything up to this point – that is the real me. And everything I will do afterwards. But for a short time, I… I will not be myself.”

“Hush,” I whispered. “Don’t feel guilty about the things that are not your fault. This is
my
choice tonight, remember that.”

He nodded. “Thank you. Thank you for the whole evening.”

Then he reached for me. And I fell into the flames again, screaming. At least I was prepared for it this time, and I wasn’t trying to fight my response. The fear was still there, and the stomach-lurching sensation of falling, but I let my body and Ly do whatever they wanted, and closed my eyes until it was all over.

Afterwards, we clung together like a pair of drunks, more or less upright, but propped up by the wall. Ly’s shoulders heaved with sobs, but I was too drained to have any comfort to spare for him. After a while, he breathed more evenly, and his arms slid round me to wrap me in a closer embrace. For long moments we stood, motionless.

But then he lifted his head and smiled at me. “Now for the kissing.”

I laughed at the eagerness in his face. “What do you want me to do?”

“Just lie down, here on the furs. Make yourself comfortable.”

My clothes had been cast aside, so I lay naked on the fur bed, and he knelt beside me. “There. Now relax.”

He leaned forward and kissed me softly on the lips. I don’t think he’d ever kissed me that way before, but it felt good. His fingers stroked my face, tracing the outline of my cheeks, and then my lips and over my chin to my throat. I don’t know whether it was his magic swilling inside me, but every touch was like a little trickle of fire, not painful but tingling and throbbing. I closed my eyes and bathed in the warmth of his touch.

But I couldn’t lie still, not with so much magic inside me. Much as I wanted to let him pleasure me in his own way, my body wouldn’t allow it. I pulled him down to me and kissed him back with fierce passion. For a moment he hesitated, then he groaned a little and responded just as keenly. His tongue explored my mouth, sending wave after wave of pulsing sensation through me. I whimpered, and let my hands wander down his back, onto his buttocks…

He pulled away sharply, panting. “Drina, this is not—”

“Don’t talk.”

I reached for him again, but again he moved away.

“No, Drina. This is—”

“Shut
up
!” I cried in frustration. “Just shut up and do it.”

I grabbed his hair and yanked his head close enough to kiss, and this time he made no protest. He scrambled onto the furs to lie beside me, and then we were both swept into the moment, touching and kissing and rubbing and pressing. The moment when he rolled onto me and thrust himself inside me was glorious. I cried out then, and again and again, lost in the maelstrom of intense feelings that washed over me.

I think he enjoyed it too, but I neither noticed nor cared. It was hard to believe how different it was from the other times. There was no falling, no fear, and the flames were warm and energising, not burning hot and painful. When the magic was in him, there was nothing but terrified compulsion that left us both shaking and drained. But when the magic was in me, it was wonderful. Magic has no intent, I knew that, but it was hard to see this blood magic as anything other than evil.