Authors: Pauline M. Ross
But it was venison, with a pear and raspberry pie.
Even with the realisation that there had to be someone doing all this, the first time I saw someone else in the city my heart thumped so hard I thought it would explode. I had found a house with a large wine cellar, and after exploring down there for some time, I went back to the ground floor and along a corridor. I turned a corner and almost bumped into two people coming the other way. I jumped a foot into the air, I swear it, but they showed no surprise.
They said something to me, in unison, although I didn’t understand them, and bowed deeply, a rather odd, stilted sort of bow, not the flowing affair the servants at the Keep used. They wore identical clothes, a uniform, I suppose – a short brown tunic with gold trimmings and matching brown trousers, with embroidered slippers with a long point.
I was too terrified to speak. I nodded to them and scuttled past as quickly as I could. When I looked back, they had turned and continued on down the corridor at an unhurried pace.
After that, I saw more of such people, always wearing the same brown uniform, always in pairs. They addressed me courteously, but it was a language I had no knowledge of. I suppose that explained why I never got the food I asked for. I wondered if they were immortal, perhaps left behind here when the residents left, or died, still fulfilling their duties in perpetuity. They seemed harmless enough, but there was something about them, some blankness in their eyes, which I found disturbing.
~~~~~
About a moon after the Festival of Lights, I had a pleasant surprise. Drei and I were attending a court assembly, and Drei was steadily working his way up the room, exchanging greetings with this or that distinguished noble in his charming way, so that when the formalities ended he would be positioned near to the Drashon and his close circle. It was a habit of his. I, meanwhile, was gazing vacantly around the room, bored, as was my habit.
Across the room I spotted a small group of mages, clad in their ceremonial robes for the occasion. Amongst them was a familiar face.
I squealed in delight.
Drei turned to me with a frown, displeased by the interruption.
“It’s Cal!” I said, tugging his arm in excitement. “Over there! Look, it’s Cal!”
“Cal? Oh, your mage.”
“May I go and talk to him?”
“If you wish,” he said, turning back to the dignitary he was addressing.
I scampered round the room, dodging between groups of nobles who stared at me in amazement. When I got close to Cal’s group, I was suddenly shy. I remembered our parting, and it occurred to me that he might not be very pleased to see me again after I had abandoned him and taken myself off with another drusse-holder. I stood, irresolute, wondering whether to go straight up to him or whether perhaps I ought to sneak away again, when he turned his head and saw me. He frowned at first, not sure whether it was me or not, and then his face lit up, and he burst out of his group towards me.
“Kyra!
Kyra!
It is you! I hardly recognised you, now that you’ve got so grand. Look at you...” And he did, his gaze running up and down, taking in my azai, the expensive jewelry, the elaborate arrangement of scarves.
I beamed back at him, relieved that he was happy to see me, and without any conscious thought on my part we were wrapped in each other’s arms. I lifted my face for a kiss, and saw uncertainty in his eyes. Very gently he bent down to touch his lips to my cheek.
“You look so well!” he said. “You’ve lost a little weight, though. I hope you’re eating properly. But these...” He waved his hand to encompass my whole outfit. “It suits you, being a Gracious Lady. You look very much the part.” Was that regret in his tone?
I gurgled with laughter. “But what about you? How did your renewal go? Did you take Raylan? And what are you doing here?”
His face clouded. “Raylan – oh, yes.” A sigh. “But the renewal – I still didn’t get enough power into my vessel. I’ve been sent here to see if the Kingswell mages can shed any light on the matter. They’re the most knowledgeable.”
Before I could reply, Drei glided up to us, a smile on his face. Cal still had his arm round my waist, but instinctively we moved apart, even though we were doing nothing wrong.
After some small talk, Drei claimed me to accompany him while he talked to some merchant from the coast, tucking my arm into his. Before he drew me away, Cal murmured in my ear, “I’m at the mages’ house – will you come and see me?”
I nodded.
~~~~~
The mages’ house was in the North East Tower of the Keep, I found that out easily enough. I was reluctant to just turn up, though, so I sent him a note, asking when would be a good time.
‘Any afternoon’,
came the reply. I took the first opportunity to go.
It was a very odd thing, for there was nothing wrong in me seeing my former drusse-holder in his home, but I chose not to tell Drei about the visit. I suppose I was afraid that he would forbid it. Not that he had the power to prevent me going if I insisted, but I wouldn’t like to go against his express wishes. So it was better if he weren’t given the chance to express them.
I dressed with care for the occasion. It was not because I wanted to impress Cal, far from it. Rather I wore a plain outfit, similar to the style I’d worn at Ardamurkan. I was excited about seeing him again, though I wasn’t sure why. I had never liked him, after all. He had treated me with contempt for a full year. Still, he was from Ardamurkan, a place I thought of fondly, a place where I’d had my role in life, where I’d once had friends and a purpose and a career. Here I had no one except Drei, a man I didn’t fully understand, who still unsettled me sometimes. Now that he’d more or less abandoned me, I was acutely aware that I had no friends at all.
The mages’ house was just another part of the Keep. I went into the North East Tower, crossed the vast, echoing lobby, and followed the signs up a wide staircase to the mages’ house. The entrance hall was manned by guards, who sent word to Cal that I was there. He bounded through from some inner fastness, beaming from ear to ear. There was no hesitation this time – he swept me into his arms and planted a kiss firmly on my lips. Then he laughed.
“How good to see you! Come through, come through, I have a pot steeping.”
He had a small apartment, just a comfortable if rather faded sitting room, and through an arch, half concealed by a curtain, a bedroom. There were several chairs arranged around a low table, but I sat on the only settee, leaving him the choice to sit next to me if he wished. He fussed around pouring hot drinks for us both, chattering away about nothing at all. It was almost as if he were nervous. Then, with a slight hesitation, he sat down beside me.
For a while, we talked about Kingswell, and all the things I’d been doing. I couldn’t tell him most of it, of course, but he was interested in the Imperial Library.
“I must go and see it, now that I’m here.”
“Will they let you go there? It’s very restricted.”
“I’m a mage, I’m allowed to go there whenever I want.” But then, abruptly, his face changed. “You haven’t said much about – him. The Bai-Kellonor. Are you happy with him, Kyra?”
Strange question. Neither of my drusse contracts had been about happiness, they were pragmatic affairs, taken on for unemotional reasons. “I suppose so,” I said.
“He looks after you, I hope. He doesn’t – mistreat you? Abuse you?”
“Oh, no. He’s been very kind. He’s never hurt me.”
“Not like I did.” There was raw emotion in his expression. Grief, perhaps.
“You never hurt me,” I said.
He looked astonished. “But that first time... it must have been awful for you. I hurt you then.”
“Oh, that. Well, it wasn’t very romantic...” He laughed nervously, disbelieving. “It got the business over with. I didn’t mind.”
“Not very romantic—! Kyra, you’re too generous. I don’t know what to say.”
“Then don’t say anything.”
Impulsively I reached up and stroked his face. He screwed his eyes shut and leaned into my hand with a little whimper. There was so much pain etched into his face, I couldn’t help myself. I leaned forward and kissed him full on the mouth. His lips were soft and warm, yielding to me. He drew back for a brief moment, gazing into my eyes, and then we leaned together for a longer, deeper kiss.
When we broke apart, he looked into my eyes with desperate longing, but he said nothing, did nothing. I was the one who rose, took his hand and led him through to the bedroom.
I honestly don’t know why I did it. I didn’t even much like Cal, I told myself afterwards, and it wasn’t as if I was in need of more sex. I suppose I was lonely and he was familiar, and I remembered those pleasant nights after the renewal when he came to my bed as a gentle and considerate lover. I’d had enough of Drei’s brief impersonal couplings. Cal cared about me, and I thirsted for some of that affection.
The first time was quick and passionate, but then he began again, slowly, lovingly, kissing and touching and stroking me everywhere, even in places I’d never thought about before. And it was wonderful. It was not the same as a magically-fuelled occasion, but it was still a gloriously intense and fulfilling experience. I’d never known it could be that way. It was a revelation.
Afterwards we lay sated, sprawled over the bed, his head resting on my shoulder while my arm lay across his back. His blond hair straggled across my breast. As I gently stroked him, I realised there was no magical tingle between us, as there had been with Drei. In fact, even with Drei, that hadn’t happened since our ‘renewal’. Perhaps it only happened between natural mages, when one has more inner power than the other.
But I could consciously see inside Cal, see the colours in him. As we lay tangled together, I opened my mind to the magic in myself and then looked inside him. In Drei, the most vivid colours were his golden aura, and the odd purple spots in his head, but Cal had neither of those. His head was pure white. There was green around the stomach, and bright red below – perhaps his genitals. There was a black line on one of his leg bones. Near the stomach was a small patch of reddish brown. Overall was a grey tinge, something leaching the colour from him.
With Drei, my healing powers had been activated without any conscious thought from me, but it was not so with Cal. I had to deliberately push my energy into him.
Instantly, he pulled away and sat up. “Shit, what was that! Did you feel it?”
“What did you feel?”
“Something attacking me. Entering my body.
Doing
something inside me. Didn’t you feel anything?”
I could have lied, of course. I could have pleaded ignorance and kept my secret. I had to make an instant decision, and I’ve never been very good at that. I’m better when I have time to mull things over and reach a considered resolution. Or maybe part of me wanted to tell someone, to have someone other than Drei who knew what I was. I hate secrets.
“That was me. It was me doing that to you.”
He stared at me. “Don’t be stupid!” he spat. “It was
inside
me. You can’t possibly...” Sudden uncertainty. He saw my face, saw something there that made him hesitate. “Explain.” There was the old Cal, abrupt, superior.
“I’m a natural mage. I have magical power inside me, just as you have power in your vessel. I can use it to heal. That’s what I was doing.”
“Healing me? Don’t be ridiculous. There’s nothing wrong with me.”
“Isn’t there? You seem so – grey, inside. I think you’re feeling a bit gloomy about everything. I was just trying to make you feel better.”
“Shit, Kyra, have you any idea how crazy this sounds? As if you could touch people and heal them, just like that. No one can do that.”
“I
can
. You felt it, didn’t you? I bet I can lift that greyness if you let me. And your stomach – there’s something wrong with it.” That red-brown patch. Definitely something not quite right.
He was even less sure of himself now. “My stomach? I…”A long pause. “It’s true, I do get a pain sometimes after eating.”
“And your right leg...”
“There’s nothing wrong with my leg!”
“About halfway down the calf, in the bone, there’s something there.”
A long silence. “By the Moon Gods, Kyra.” Then, with a shrug, “Look, I broke my leg there when I was a boy, all right? But that doesn’t mean...” He exhaled noisily. “Gods. You really do have some power. And that must mean that you really did spell your sister.” And kill the Asha-Kellon, I thought. “That’s – so weird.”
“Are you going to report me?” I said in a small voice.
“Of course not!” Well, that was very definite. “You do realise they won’t believe you, don’t you?”
“I can prove it.” I cupped my hand and produced a ball of gently glowing flame.
Cal leaped backwards so far that he almost fell off the bed. “Shit! Don’t do that!”
The ball vanished. “Sorry.”
“Kyra, you mustn’t say a word to anyone about this, you understand? There was a boy from somewhere down on the coast – he claimed to have some powers. They had his head off his shoulders before he knew what was happening. Illegal use of magic. You’ve already had a brush with that particular law, they won’t hesitate, you know. You mustn’t tell
anyone
.”
“I’ve told you.”
“You’re safe with me.” He leaned forward to kiss me. “Dear Kyra, I love you, I won’t hand you over to the law. But if they find out – the Drashon won’t understand, you’ll be condemned to death and the mages won’t help you. So you must be very careful.”
“I will be. May I heal you now?”
He laughed. “I suppose so.” He settled back in my arms, and allowed me to heal his stomach and lift his grey mood. Then we made love again.
As we dressed, he said, “Will this break your drusse contract?”
“No. We’ve agreed no children, so there’s no clause of exclusivity.”
“You’re sure?”
“I wrote the contract myself.”
He grinned at that. “I should have guessed!” He slipped his vessel on its leather thong over his head, and I noticed for the first time that it was encased in a snug velvet case.
“What’s that for? I thought you wore your vessel next to your skin?”
He sighed. “The mages here thought it would drain too much power away, to have it constantly touching me. Maybe the cover will help to conserve it, make it last longer.”
I couldn’t resist. I told him all about the pillar in the Imperial City, that I could go there as often as I wanted and top up my power without any ceremony. “Maybe you could do that too.”
“It’s not allowed.”
“A lot of things aren’t allowed,” I said impatiently. “Where’s the harm? If it works, you have a more useful vessel. If it doesn’t you’ve lost nothing. Or you could try getting another vessel. I suppose that’s not allowed, either?”
“No.” But he grinned. “It’s an idea, though, isn’t it? When can you show me this pillar of yours?”
~~~~~
I said nothing to Drei about meeting Cal. If he’d asked, I would have told him. If he’d asked me directly if I’d slept with Cal, I would have told him that too – and after all, he’d know if I lied. But he never asked.
The following morning, a package arrived at the apartment for me, a book from Cal, with a note:
‘Chapter Seventeen. Busy this sun, how about tomorrow?’
. It was a history of magery, written more than a hundred years ago. I flipped through the pages to find that chapter seventeen was all about natural mages. It didn’t tell me much that I didn’t already know, except to confirm that at one time natural mages were regarded as an asset, and trained in magecraft. That would have been better for Drei than burning the stables down. But it was curious that in that time natural mages were identified very early by their aura. No one now seemed able to do that, except another natural mage.
There were several chapters I found more interesting, about thought mages and how they worked. They could use the standard spells, recited instead of written, or they could prepare short forms combined with touch: by saying
‘Heal’
while holding the injured part, for instance. Most of them could do those. But sometimes they could simply think a spell, and this was a fascinating concept to me. One chapter was simply various thought mages describing, as best they could, how they executed such spells, and each one had a different process, and was limited to a certain range of magic. I’d never been aware of Cal using such techniques but one of the other Ardamurkan mages had the knack of lighting or dousing the lamps and candles by thought alone. It was quite impressive, although of limited application, I suppose.
I arranged to meet Cal the following morning by one of the Keep gates. He’d followed my instructions to dress drably, so as not to attract attention, but his eyes sparkled with excitement. “This is so much fun,” he whispered, as I led him quickly through the streets to the vegetable market. Hidden from view by the crates, I showed him the marks on the outer wall of the Imperial City. I was disappointed to discover that he couldn’t see them. Only when he held his stone vessel could he just about make them out.
I let him open the door, relieved that his vessel gave him enough power for that, and we stepped through. The door shushed behind us and closed with an almost inaudible snap. He giggled, nerves and excitement mingled.
I took his hand. “Come on.”
As we walked up the hill, I became aware of a bird approaching. I’d expected it, but even so it was a little frightening.
“Don’t panic,” I said, taking a firmer grip on his hand, “and don’t try to run, but you’re about to be inspected.”
He stood still, but when he saw the bird itself spiralling down towards us he went very pale.
“It’s all right. It just wants to be sure we’re magic users. It won’t hurt us.”
“Are you sure?”
“Hmm. Fairly sure.” Sometimes I wished I could lie as glibly as my youngest brother Deckas did. He could be standing with the shards of a broken cup in his hand, or the stolen jam around his mouth, and deny it soundly, his eyes wide with offended innocence. But something inside me insisted on honesty.
Cal shook with terror beside me, but to his credit he trusted me enough not to try to escape. I held his hand in both mine while the bird circled lazily around. I was convinced it stayed longer than with Drei and me, but eventually it puffed out of existence. I let go of Cal’s hands, and sighed with relief.
Cal rested both hands on his knees for a moment, head down, drained and still shaking. Then, with a wobbly smile, he looked up at me. “I guess I passed the test, then.”
“It recognises you as a magic user.” I spoke with more confidence than I felt, because after all, the bird was a magical creation and who could tell what its true purpose was?
“Really?”
“The whole city is for us – mages.” He looked disbelieving, so I explained to him, as I had to Drei, that only magic-users could see the marks and therefore open the doors. He nodded, brow furrowed in thought, but asked no more about it.
We couldn’t go to the library because the scholars would be there, so I led him first to the house with food –
my
house, as I’d come to think of it. The table was empty, naturally, but we wandered all over, and found another, smaller room with bread set out, together with pots of honey, rounds of cheese, and a basket of apples. Cal set to with gusto. He was as thin as a post but always hungry, so he was quite happy to have a second morning board. There was a pot steeping on a burner, but when I poured a little, it was a nasty dark brown liquid, bitter to the taste.
Then we went to the scribes’ tower. He was fascinated by it, recognising the rooms without any explanation from me. He was particularly intrigued by the mirror room.
“The three extra mirrors,” he said thoughtfully. “Just like at Ardamurkan. The three missing scribes’ towers.”
“What do you mean?”
“These mirrors obviously connect somewhere, we just don’t know exactly where. Actually, I might know where one of them is. Now that I’ve seen this tower, the basic plan, as it were, not mucked about and extended like the Ardamurkan one, I’ve seen another like this.”
“Really? Which town?”
“Ah, now that’s the interesting part, it’s not in a town. It’s way up river, almost at the border, just sitting by itself in a low group of hills. There is a small town nearby, but it’s very new, no more than fifty years or so, nothing at all to do with the tower. No one could get into it. I’d guess that only mages can get into this one, actually.”
“Oh – the door is warded, you mean? That would make sense. But how do you know so much about this tower along the river?”
“I grew up not far from there. My brother lives in Zendronia – the new town. But the other two missing towers – no one knows where they are and there’s no way to work it out. There are no records or maps, and the known ones aren’t distributed regularly according to a pattern – where to start looking? It’s a mystery.”
Finally we went upstairs to the room with the pillar, the renewals room, as I still thought of it.
“There!” I said triumphantly.
He licked his lips uneasily. “I’ve never heard any mention of this place.”
“I don’t think the mages know about it. They scuttle through the sewers to the library, but they never wander the city itself, do they?”
“No. They think it’s dangerous, although I’m not sure why exactly. People vanish, but mages should be safe enough, shouldn’t they? Obviously someone came here at one time, to take the working mirrors away, but when I’ve asked about coming into the city, they just tell me that it’s not safe.”