The Fire Still Burns (31 page)

“Oh, really?”  Brynn let out a huff of air and folded her arms across her chest.  “Who caught me before I had the chance to hit the floor when I broke through the floorboards at the Mulroney property?  Who saved me when I was almost hit by a falling beam inside an abandoned farmhouse and got me to safety before the whole place caved?  And, who defended my honor when some gawkers at Red's Tavern made some snide remarks about me?  Don't think I didn't hear all about that.  Damn it, Adam, you took a bullet for me, too.”

Adam looked at the floor, letting her words roll off him.  None of those things could make up for the times he hadn't been there, regardless how badly he wanted them to.  “My brother raped you,” he whispered.  “He killed a girl's sister and she nearly killed you in retaliation, because of me.  I can't live with that.  I just can't.  And I can't risk putting you in danger again, allowing you to be hurt again.”

Brynn's eyes softened as she reached out to cup his face with her hand.  “You had no idea any of that was going to happen.  I never blamed you, not even once.  You're a good man, but if you allow those things to keep us apart you will hurt me, Adam.  You will cause me far greater pain than anything I've been through yet.  And, frankly, if you're not strong enough to accept the fact that I don't need you to be my knight in shining armor, then you're not the man I thought you were.”

She dropped her hand, kissed him lightly on the lips and walked past him followed by her glaring mother who simply shook her head as if to say she'd thought better of him, too.

Jamie Lee stepped closer, grabbed his head with both hands and stated firmly, “You are going to lose the one person you'd give your life for if you don't suck up your guilt and just be there for her.  She's not asking for Super-Man, you idiot.  She's just asking for you to be there when she needs two arms to hold her.  That's all.”

Jamie Lee let go and stepped back, glancing at the sheriff.  “Maybe you can talk some sense into him.”

Adam watched the women leave then glared at the grinning sheriff.  “Not one word out of you.”

“After that, what's left to say?”  The sheriff erupted into laughter.  “Come on, son, you've been dragged over the coals enough for one day.”

~~~

Brynn grimaced as she swallowed the bitter pain pills prescribed by the doctor.  It had been a month since she'd nearly cracked her own skull banging it into Riley's, and she still suffered headaches.

Since that night when she’d witnessed Riley commit suicide, she’d been plagued with nightmares, which caused her to wake up reaching toward the other side of the bed for a comforting set of arms to hold her tight and chase the nightmare away…but she always came up empty.  She hadn't seen or spoke to Adam since she left the hospital.

He'd obviously made his choice, and that choice wasn't to forgive himself and move on.  Brynn didn't know who to feel sorrier for, the man she'd loved unconditionally, who was too ensnared in his own guilt to realize how great he truly was, or the young man who would never know a father's love.

Whether Adam turned out to be Nate's father or his uncle, she'd been sure he'd love her child like a son either way, but in the end maybe it was too much to ask him to love a child who quite possibly could have been the product of the night she was raped by his brother.

Poor Nate.  Brynn looked through the door of her father's den to watch as the boy studied for a test his grandmother would give him later.  She'd agreed to let him go to regular school but not until the start of the new school year.  Time had to be allowed for things to die down.

The news was out.  There was enough evidence found in Zeke's apartment to link him directly to Rachel Wood's murder along with several rapes and drug deals.  In a small town like Black Bear Gorge, news of that caliber spread at light speed.

The main question on everyone's minds—after the initial controversy of one of the Goods being a drug-dealing, murdering rapist—was who were the victims?

Brynn couldn't just sit by while other victims felt the shame of being one of “the ones he'd gotten,” so she'd talked to Nate about it and they'd both agreed it would be a good thing for the community to start a support group.

She'd led the first meeting earlier in the week and three women had shown up, each of them visibly relieved to have someone to talk to about the trauma they'd suffered thanks to Ezekiel Good.

Since then, she'd gotten a few phone calls from other women, some of whom were Zeke's victims, some of whom had suffered at the hands of family friends or others.

Although the rumors were flying about Nathaniel and the hot question was whether he was fathered by Zeke or Adam, no one dared say a negative word to her or her son.  Either they were very wise, or the town had evolved a little bit since Brynn had left it after all.

She smiled, relieved to finally be free of the weight of carrying such a dark secret around for so long.  Her mother had cried for hours, and Nate had taken it hard, but with time they all seemed to have come to terms with what had happened and were moving past it.  She could only wish that Adam would find a way to do the same someday.

She knew in her heart that Nate really wanted Adam to turn out to be his father.  They'd had several discussions about Adam and her life in Black Bear Gorge before the rape occurred.  Nate had come to realize that Adam wasn't a bad guy at all, just a man who put it upon himself to protect all of his loved ones. 

That was a promise no man could keep one hundred percent of the time, no matter how hard he tried.  And Nate realized it was she who had kept everything a secret, a fact he'd thoroughly forgiven her for once he'd had time to really consider what she'd been going through the past thirteen years in her quest to protect those she loved from the horror of the truth.

Her mother and her son knew the truth and they still loved her, even understood her actions.  The town she'd thought would condemn her more once the truth was out had even seemed to open its arms wider, but it still wasn't enough.  There was a void inside her, a hole in her heart that would never be filled unless Adam Good could learn to forgive himself for sins he did not commit.

The sound of tires crunching over gravel caught her attention, and as she stepped out onto the front porch to see Adam pulling his truck to a stop in her front yard, her heart pounded furiously.

She gripped the banister as he approached, clutching a large manila envelope in his hand.  She couldn't see his eyes behind the dark sunglasses he wore, but she could tell by the tight set of his mouth that he wasn't coming to sweep her off of her front porch and drive away into the sunset with her.

“Hey.”  He stepped onto the porch and leaned against the banister, his tone giving no clue as to his mood.

“Hey yourself.”  Her heart beat rapidly, and nervous sweat dampened her palms.  This could be it.  This could be the moment that decided if there was any possibility of them having a future together.  “It's been a while.”

“Yeah.”  He removed his sunglasses.  “I'm sorry about that.  I needed some time to think.”

Brynn nodded, not trusting herself to speak.  She could too easily start yelling like she had done at the hospital, outraged and hurt as she was by the unfairness which had plagued them for years.  Yelling hadn't helped their situation then and it could drive him even further away now.

“This came a few days ago.”  He handed her the envelope.  “Sheriff Clarkson had a friend in the city's crime lab put a rush on it.”

Brynn looked at the envelope, her heart going into overdrive as she realized what she held in her hands.  She was surprised to find it still sealed.  “You didn't look?”

“No, I didn't.  There are some things that need to be clarified before that envelope is opened.”

Brynn looked at him, unsure of what to say.  She studied his face and posture, to get a read on him, but he gave nothing away.  “I told you everything about that night.  I don't know what else to say.”

Adam smiled, confusing her even more.  “I talked to my mother, listened to her side of things, and I spoke to some very wise men I know and one very opinionated woman whom you used to baby-sit, and they've made me see some things I wasn't allowing myself to see before.”

“Such as?” Brynn prompted, hope flaring to life inside her chest.

“That I am not perfect and the one woman who truly loved me never expected me to be.  And, that I am in love with a very strong woman who can fight her own battles and take a licking and keep right on ticking.”  His smile faded.  “And, that bad things happen and sometimes we just don't see them in time to stop them from happening.”

“I've been telling you this from day one,” Brynn couldn't refrain from pointing out.

“Yeah, well, it must have taken getting hit by a crazy woman with a rock for it all to soak in,” Adam replied with a shrug.  “That, and having another crazy woman accost me in a hospital.”

Brynn smiled.  “Well, if that's all it took I should have accosted you sooner.”

“No, Brynn, I had to take some time to myself to really see things.  I talked to my mother, and the more she ranted, the more I realized I was doing the same thing as her.”  He shook his head.  “She blamed women for the bad things Zeke did.  She blamed me for ruining the family name.  And, I blamed myself, but nobody blamed Zeke.”

Adam licked his lips, gave her a look so full of remorse he heart ached for him.  “I'll always feel some guilt because of the way everything went down, but when I really analyze it, Cal could have dealt with his feelings for me another way and Zeke could have just come out and told me the way he felt.  I'll always wish I'd done something to prevent what happened that night, but I have to accept the fact that I just didn't know.”

He straightened and faced her directly with admiration reflected in his blue eyes.  “If you can deal with what happened to you that night and use your experience to help others, then I can get over not being your hero.”

“You'll always be my hero,” Brynn whispered, holding back tears of joy.  “I just want to move past that night.”

“Well, then, there's one more order of business,” Adam stated.  “Where's Nathaniel?”

“Right here.”  Nate stepped out onto the porch from where he'd been standing behind the living room door.

“Boy, we are going to talk about this sneaking up on people and eavesdropping while they're having private conversations thing.” Brynn fought the urge to smile in response to Nate's red-faced, unapologetic grin.

“It's all right.”  Adam grinned as he turned toward Nate.  “This involves him, too.  I have a question to ask and it's a southern custom to go through the man of the house which in this case, is you, Nate.”

Nathaniel looked between the two of them, his eyebrows drew together in confusion.  “Oh-kay.  What's up?”

“First off, no matter how you respond to this question or what it says in that envelope, I want you to know that you are my blood and I'm sorry the beginning of your life was so messed up.  I vow to be here for you no matter what as your father, your uncle, or your friend.  You can depend on me for that.  And…”  He reached out for Brynn's hand, looking her in the eyes  “As the man of the house, I'd like to ask your permission to marry your mother and make a home for the three of us.”

Brynn's knees buckled, and she grabbed the railing to keep from falling down as her heart leaped to her throat. 

“You won't leave her?”  Nathaniel’s tone was deadly serious.

“Not even at gunpoint,” Adam answered.

Nate looked at Adam long and hard, then glanced at Brynn with a smile.  “Well, seeing as how the woman of the house would beat me with a stick if I answered otherwise, I'll say yes.”

Brynn fought back tears as she kissed her son's forehead, and then took Adam's face in her hands to kiss his smiling mouth.  “I love you both so much.”

Adam kissed her hand, taking the envelope out of her grasp to pass to Nathaniel.  “This is yours, Nathaniel.  I personally don't care what the results of the paternity test are.  As far as I'm concerned, you are my son and will be loved and treated as such, but you have a right to know the biological truth should you want to.”

Brynn's breath caught in her throat as she shared a look with her son.  Curiosity ate away at them.  For thirteen years she'd wondered, and she knew Nate had wondered non-stop since he'd learned the truth, so it was no surprise when he opened the seal and reached inside the envelope.

Adam's hand gripped hers tightly, and she could only imagine what was going through his mind as he waited to hear the results and how bad of a blow it would be to him if it turned out that Zeke had fathered Nathaniel.

“I don't want to know.” Nate suddenly jerked his hand away from the paper he'd begun to pull from the envelope.  “I mean, I thought I did but if it was the guy who…I just would rather not know.” He handed the envelope back to Adam.

“It's all right.”  Adam smiled, relief evident in his voice.  “If you change your mind, that's fine, too.  It's your decision.”

The two men looked at each other, nodding their heads in a silent understanding, emotions flooding their eyes so richly Brynn thought she'd drown in the intensity.

“Okay, my mother will be back soon.”  Brynn broke the silence as she grabbed the envelope.  “Why don't we go get lunch ready and plan how we're going to tell her the big news?”