The First Three Rules (27 page)

Outside in the dark, a whippoorwill called. It was the only pause in the sterile night.

“I wasn’t lying when I said I needed a friend.” Jon caressed Ellis’s cheek.

“A friend, not a burden.”

Jon chuckled.

“Tell me, Jon. I need to know.” The silence returned. Ellis would have taken it as an answer except Jon kept petting him. Simple moments of contact that conveyed a kind of need that had nothing to do with sexual satisfaction and everything to do with being able to live.

“Rudy saved my life.” Jon’s chest rose and fell with a deep breath. “That day in the park. I went there to kill myself. I had my gun in my pocket and I tried to think of a single reason not to die. I lost everything that day the raid went bad. My job, my best friend, my sanity. I had nothing left. Overnight my entire identity was wiped out.

“Before I got a chance to pull the trigger, Rudy sat down next to me and offered me a piece of gum.” A tear dripped from Jon’s jaw to Ellis’s cheek. “Then you came along and I knew I had to live.”

“You didn’t know me.”

“I didn’t have to. After I saw you, I just couldn’t pull the trigger anymore. Even if you never had anything to do with me. Just seeing you took away the need to die. I’m stronger now. I can fight it. More than that. I want to fight it.”

The rhythm of Jon’s heartbeat thumped against Ellis’s ear. A beautiful sound he never got tired of listening to.

The thought of never having the chance was frightening.

If Jon had taken his life that day, the world would have lost someone special.

And Ellis would have lost the world.

Mel’s Diner was near full. Dishes clanked, servers moved in out of the narrow spaces between the tables, and swaths of sun cut lines across the red vinyl booths.

The last time Rudy had been here he bumped into a table and dumped a glass of chocolate milk into a man’s lap. Then he’d yelled at Ellis until he paid the man’s bill.

“Rudy, eat your fries.”

He carefully dipped a fry in the puddle of ketchup on the edge of his plate. Ellis watched him over his hamburger. Two kids ran by, someone laughed, and a waitress stopped at the table next to them.

Rudy tried to see what Jon was doing up front by leaning out the booth.

“Rudy.”

He turned around.

Ellis pointed to Rudy’s plate. “Eat.”

Rudy picked a pickle off his hamburger and ate it. Ellis had cut the burger into triangles for him, so it would be easier for him to eat and he wouldn’t make a mess. Why did food always fall off his plate? Rudy picked up another fry. A family with a bunch of screaming kids came in the door. Their shrill voices raked the air.

The glob of ketchup slid off Rudy’s fry and landed on his shirt. “Uh oh.” He looked at Ellis who frowned. Rudy picked up a napkin to clean if off.

Ellis took it away. “Let me do that, you’ll get it all over.”

The ketchup left behind a shadow on Rudy’s checkered shirt. Now people would think Ellis didn’t take care of him. “I’m sorry.”

Ellis pointed to his plate. “Just eat.”

A waitress whisked by, carrying something sweet and meaty. Maybe next time Ellis would let him order that. Whatever it was.

Jon returned with two glasses and a Styrofoam cup. He handed it to Rudy.

“What is it?”

“Milkshake.”

Rudy tapped the top of the cup. “Mine has a lid.”

Jon nodded. “That way if you knock it over, it won’t go anywhere.” Rudy tipped the cup. Jon caught his hand. “Let’s not test that theory, okay?”

Ellis handed Rudy a straw. He tried to poke it through the slit in the top, but it bent. Ellis did it for him. Ellis was always helping him. With his shoes, with his pajamas, and with the buttons on his shirt.

Ellis and Jon smiled at each other and that made Rudy smile too.

“What does gay mean?” Rudy said.

Ellis strangled on his milkshake.

“Small bites or you’ll choke. And chew. That’s important.” Rudy drank some of his milkshake while Ellis coughed.

He wiped his eyes with a napkin. “Where did you even hear that word?”

Rudy dipped one of his French fries into the ketchup. He was careful not to make a mess this time.

“Rudy?”

He shrugged. “At the store.”

“What store?”

“The other day when you bought hot dogs and Jon picked out pork chops. I liked the pork chops, we should have those again.”

“The word, Rudy.”

Rudy put his hands in his lap. “Am I in trouble?”

“No, no. I just want to know.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Jon said.

“To me, it does.” Ellis wiped his mouth one more time and laid the crumpled napkin next to his plate.

“Are you sure I’m not in trouble?”

“You’re not in trouble.”

“The old lady standing by the corn on the cob,” Rudy said. “She complained about the tomatoes. She was talking to her friend. The old lady said you and Jon were gay.” He ate another fry. “So what does it mean?”

Ellis looked at Jon who shrugged. “You’re going to have to explain it sometime.”

“Not here, I won’t.”

“So, what does it mean?”

A flush crawled up Ellis’s face and after a long moment—where Rudy was sure he was going to be in trouble after all—Ellis said, “It means…happy.”

Well, that made sense. Jon and Ellis were always happy.

Now Rudy had almost everything on his best things list, ice cream, and Ellis smiling. The only thing left was baseball cards. If he hadn’t broken the microwave, Ellis would have bought him some by now. Rudy had said he wouldn’t ask for a month, only he wasn’t sure how long that was. A long time, but it had been a long time since he broke the microwave.

He sipped on his milkshake while Ellis and Jon talked. “Ellis?” His brother looked at him. “How long is a month?”

One of Ellis’s eyebrows went up. “Why?”

“I was wondering if we could go to the card shop and get baseball cards. Then I would have all three best things. Ice cream, you smiling, and baseball cards.”

Ellis ate a bite of his hamburger. He chewed. He swallowed. He took a sip of his milk shake. It seemed like a month before he answered. “A month is roughly four weeks.”

That didn’t help much. “Has it been four weeks?”

Ellis and Jon exchanged another look. Rudy didn’t understand it, but it made him happy inside.

“Can I finish my hamburger first?” Ellis took another bite. If Rudy waited till then it would be another month.

“What if they close?” When the card shop closed, they always put a sign in their door. Rudy turned in his seat to see if he could see the shop out the window just to make sure they hadn’t hung the sign. Too many people were in the way.

“Give me ten minutes and we’ll walk over there.”

Rudy picked at his hamburger. He moved his French fries around. There were onions on the side so he broke the rings.

Jon said, “I’ll take him.”

Rudy started to slide out of the bench.

“He can wait.”

Rudy stopped.

“It’s all right. Finish your burger and you can meet us over there.”

Ellis gave Rudy a serious look. “Remember the rules.”

“Don’t talk. Don’t wander off. And don’t touch.”

“And you do exactly what Jon tells you.”

“Okay.”

“I’m not kidding, Rudy. You misbehave and there won’t be any cards for two months.”

No cards for two months. That was forever. Rudy slid from the booth and followed Jon out the door. He kept his hands close to his chest just to make sure he wouldn’t forget rule number three and he stayed right on Jon’s heels so Jon would know he wasn’t breaking rule number two.

“So who’s your favorite team?” Jon said.

Rudy shrugged.

“No favorite?”

Rudy shook his head.

“Then why do you collect the cards?” They stopped at the street corner. The card shop sat behind the Laundromat and the door faced an alley. There were big dumpsters next to the wall that always smelled like rotten cabbage. But Rudy didn’t care. The little shop had the best baseball cards. Boxes and boxes of them. Sometimes they were on sale and he could get ten packs for a dollar.

“You ever going to tell me why you collect the cards?”

“I like the pictures.”

Jon laughed. “Good reason.”

Rudy thought so.

The light turned red and the cars stopped. It was very important to wait until the cars stopped. Ellis had told Rudy three times so Rudy wouldn’t forget. They crossed the street.

Jon wrinkled his nose. “You’d think they’d get a better location.”

“Yeah.” It was just easier to agree.

Jon stopped. “Is this it?”

Rudy pointed to the sign. “See, baseball cards.”

“Is that what that says?” Jon smiled.

Rudy squinted at the sign. What else could all those letters possible spell? After all, this was the baseball card shop.

“C’mon.” Jon clapped him on the shoulder and opened the door.

The inside of the card shop was always a lot darker than the outside. At least in the day time. Rudy didn’t know if it was that way at night time since the card shop was closed at night.

But the light to dark always made him blink until the dark got lighter and he could see again.

“Rudy!” Abbot, like Abbot and Costello, was short and round. “Where have you been? I was beginning to think you didn’t want my cards anymore.” Rudy made sure to keep his hands near his chest. Rule number three.

“No. I like baseball cards, they’re in the best thing to own. Right next to ice cream and Ellis’s smiles.”

Rudy walked over to the counter and scanned the baseball cards. The ones behind the glass had sleeves and really big price tags.

“Who’s your friend?” Abbot said.

Rudy scanned the cards behind the glass. “His name is Jon. He stays in Ellis’s room. The only other room was Mom and Dad’s. No one stays in there.”

Rudy pointed to the shelf. “Can I see a box?”

“Uh, yeah.” Abbot grabbed the box off the shelf and Rudy picked up a package to show to Jon. There was the funniest look on his face. Abbot had a funny look too. Kinda mad. Kinda surprised.

Jon turned toward Rudy. “Pick your cards.”

Since Jon sounded impatient, Rudy didn’t flip through all of them. He picked out the first ten and handed his dollar to Abbot. He took the money and to Jon he said, “You look normal. I would have never guessed.”

Jon straightened his shoulders. “Normal?” Now there was a heavy tone to his voice to go along with the funny look on his face.

“Yeah, you know.” Abbot flopped his hand around.

Rudy imitated him. Jon cut him a look so he stopped.

Abbot and Jon glared at each other. “And just what is your definition of normal?” Jon was already really tall. Rudy only came up to his shoulder. But now he looked twice as big. Kind of reminded Rudy of the puffer fish in one of his picture books. Abbot still seemed angry, but he wouldn’t look Jon in the eye.

“You know, normal. As in not being a faggot.”

Rudy put his cards in his pocket. “Jon’s not a faggot, he’s gay. Gay means happy. Maybe you should be gay so you can be happy too. Jon’s nice. He helped Ellis when he was hurt. Lots of people aren’t very nice.” The thing in Rudy told him about a sad boy who hid in his room and had no friends. “They made fun of you. You cried all the time when you were little because they’d sing that song. Fatty, fatty, two by four…” The sad little boy would run to his mother and say he wished he’d never been born. “Then your mother would cry because she couldn’t stop them from making fun of you.” Rudy shook his head, then he nodded. “Too many people make fun of each other. If you’re fat or skinny. They make fun of me because I’m not smart. And different colors. Why do people make fun of each other for being different colors? I think if everyone was gay then we could all be happy and there would be no one to make fun of fat people, short people, different colored people, not smart people. And most of all, if everyone was happy, no one would want to beat Ellis up again.”

Abbot and Jon turned. Maybe they weren’t really staring at him. Rudy looked around. But when he turned back they hadn’t stopped.

“How did…” Abbot swallowed several times and his face paled. “How could you…” He glanced at Jon, then Rudy, and Jon again.

“Am I in trouble?”

“No,” Jon said. “You’re not in trouble.”

Abbot rubbed the back of his neck with one of his big hands. He took a couple of steps back, then stared at the dollar in his hand like he didn’t know what to do with it.

Rudy rocked on his feet while Abbot looked lost. After another forever moment he hit a button on the register and the tray slid out. He tucked the dollar inside and tore off the ticket from the top.

Then he stood there and held it too. “Um, I’m sorry.” He gave the piece of paper to Jon. “I shouldn’t have…” He fumbled with the cash drawer. “I shouldn’t have said those things. It was rude.”

“And wrong,” Rudy said.

The flush in Abbot’s face darkened. “Yeah, yeah and wrong.” He pushed the drawer closed. “I’d like to apologize.”

Jon’s eyes widened.

Abbot tapped his fingers against the glass counter top. Eventually he looked up. “That is if you’ll let me.”

Jon’s mouth almost curled into a smile. “You’re forgiven.”

Abbott nodded then glanced at Rudy again. His expression made Rudy turn around just in case there was something scary standing behind him but there wasn’t.

Jon patted Rudy on the back. “You ready?”

Rudy showed Jon one of the packet of cards. “I get to open them.”

“Wait till you get home.” Jon held the door and they stepped out.

“Okay, I will. And you can look at them too. Because you’re my very be—” A sharp whistle cut the air. Lenny stood at the other end of the alley leading to the back of the building. His smile was ugly.

“Ignore him.” Jon put a hand on Rudy’s shoulder.

They were almost to the sidewalk when Lenny said, “Queer Boy isn’t all that bad. Screams like a girl though.”

Jon’s face twisted up until his lips drew up over his teeth.

“Better hurry up, Mr. Marshal. I’m about to have seconds.” Lenny grabbed his crotch then he disappeared behind the building. Jon ran after him. Rudy followed.