The Forbidden Prince (9 page)

Rafe's arms tightened around her and Mika could feel his cheek pressed to the top of her head. Then she felt his head turn and she could feel his lips on her hair. A slow, tender press that felt like a deliberate kiss of comfort.

For the longest time, they were silent. Mika knew she didn't have to go into the horrible details. That she didn't have to uncover those dreadful memories and make them fresh again.

It was Rafe who broke the silence.

‘I think you're wrong,' he said softly. ‘I think what happened to you before was worse than what happened today.'

Mika nodded slowly. ‘Because you saved me...'

‘No. Because you were betrayed by someone you thought you could trust. Someone that was supposed to care about you and keep you safe.' His breath came out in a sigh. ‘I'm so sorry that happened to you, Mika. I'm not surprised you don't trust men.'

Her eyes snapped open. It was important that she could see Rafe. That he could see her.

‘I trust
you
,' she said quietly.

‘I care about you,' Rafe said. ‘You're safe.'

It seemed like the most natural thing in the world that he would kiss her again to seal the truth of those words. It was a gentle kiss but it stirred up everything that had been woken and waiting in Mika's body.

The fear and bad memories were becoming a distant memory.
This
was what mattered. This moment.

This man that she
could
trust.

Her heart was beating wildly as she shifted in his arms. There was one way, she realised, that she could put not only today's horror but the memories that had kept her trapped for so long behind her for ever.

One thing that could restore her faith that there were good men in the world and, amongst them, one that she could trust with not only her heart but her body. If she was brave enough...

‘Rafe?'

The subtle quirk of those dark eyebrows was enough to tell her he wanted to hear her question.

‘Would you do something for me? Please? Something that will really make me feel safe?'

His eyes darkened. ‘Of course. What is it?'

Mika licked suddenly dry lips. The words were so hard to get out that they emerged in no more than the ghost of a whisper.

‘Make love to me...'

CHAPTER SIX

F
OUR
TINY
WORDS
.

How could they be enough to make it feel as if the bottom of Raoul's world had simply vanished?

As if he was falling and there was nothing he could find to catch hold of and save himself.

He'd started slipping without even realising it was happening. Touching his lips to Mika's head. That gentle kiss on her lips. He'd stepped over a boundary and now he had the choice of which direction his next step was going to take him. He'd been right in thinking that kissing this woman was always going to be more than a small thing. That it would unleash a desire unlike any he'd ever experienced before. Physical control was still possible, of course. He wasn't an animal—like those brutes who'd captured Mika this afternoon. He could stop, if that was the right choice.

This
was it.

The challenge that was going to tell him who he really was. What his values really were and whether he was made of the right stuff to rule a country in the best interests of the many thousands of people who would be trusting him to do the right thing.

He'd convinced himself that resisting the attraction he felt towards Mika was that test so why, in this moment after those words had been uttered, and it felt like time was holding its breath, did it really so utterly
wrong
?

As if he didn't really have a choice at all?

Again, he was reminded of when she had taken his hand, up there on the top of that cliff. Of when her trembling had finally ceased and he'd known she was trusting him.

He'd felt taller, then. Powerful in a way that had nothing to do with him being a prince but everything to do with who he was as a man. Nothing would have persuaded him to break that trust.

And, right now, Mika was trusting him with so much more than her hand. She was asking him to take hold of her whole body and, by doing so, he would still be leading her to safety, wouldn't he?

To a place where she could believe it was safe to trust a man. To let him touch her.

Was it so far-fetched to imagine that she was trusting him with her entire future?

Raoul was aware of the part of his brain that was reminding him of the challenge he'd set himself—to put aside his own desires in order to do the right thing—but what
was
the right thing in this case?

It was astonishing how fast a brain could work. How thoughts could coalesce into a split second of time.

If he refused Mika's whispered plea, would she ever have the courage to ask again?

This moment had come in the wake of Mika being forced to face her worst nightmare and now being in a space where she felt safe. With someone she trusted as the closest friend she had available.

It was a no-brainer to hope that this particular combination of circumstances would never happen again. He would never want Mika to be attacked or even threatened ever again.

And if he was really honest with himself—and wasn't the point of this journey he was taking to be exactly that?—the thought of Mika being this close to any other man felt wrong and he knew there was a part of him that would always be envious of that man.

He could feel the whole shape of the small, lithe body he had cradled in his arms. He could still feel the incredible softness of her lips against his own. Mika had no idea how much she was asking of him but Raoul had a very good idea of how huge this gift he could give
her
was.

It was something that nobody else could ever give her, because this moment would never happen again, and she would remember it for the rest of her life. A life that might very well be happier because of this gift.

The choice had already been made, Raoul realised, as he slowly dipped his head to touch Mika's lips again with his own, knowing that this time it was going to be with passion, not an intention to comfort.

He'd been right in that there really wasn't a choice to be made at all. This had nothing to do with whether he was fighting or submitting to his own desires.

This was the right thing to do.

For Mika.

Because he loved her...

* * *

Nothing else existed the moment Rafe's lips touched hers and it was nothing like the gentle comfort of that first kiss.

Mika could fall into the overwhelming spiral of feelings that were so much more than a blinding physical need. This was an expression of love, and the combination of what both her body and her heart were experiencing was more than Mika could ever have believed was possible.

Rafe was so gentle with her that Mika knew he would stop in an instant if she gave any indication that she was afraid, or that she'd changed her mind, but neither of those things was going to happen.

She'd been waiting her whole life for this—she just hadn't known it was possible.

This was why people took the risk of being ultimately vulnerable, wasn't it? Because sex could never be like this if you weren't in love with your partner.

Surely nobody else had ever felt quite like this, though? She already had that weird kind of telepathic communication with Rafe that meant an entire conversation could happen in a glance. Maybe it was a natural extension of that connection that meant that every touch said so much as well.

Which was why she could feel his initial hesitation—the edge of gentleness that was still there enough to suggest Rafe needed reassurance as much as she did that this was a safe thing to be doing. It was Mika who slipped her hands under Rafe's tee shirt, to feel his skin beneath her hands and encourage him to take it off. She started to unbutton her own shirt but Rafe caught her hands, catching her gaze at the same moment.

And it was then that everything seemed to come together. The attraction that had been sizzling between them for so long, the desire unleashed by those first kisses and what was being said in that glance.

That this was about so much more than sex...

Mika was aware of the moment when everything else ceased to exist for Rafe, as it had done for her , and she tipped her head back with a sigh as she felt him take over the unbuttoning of her shirt and then the touch of his lips on the swell of her breast. They could both let go now and see just how close to paradise this was going to take them.

And surely it was as close as anybody could ever get in this life?

Mika had no idea when her tears had begun or when they had stopped; she could only feel them cooling her cheeks as they dried as she lay, still within the circle of Rafe's arms, waiting for the moment when she could catch her breath again enough to speak.

And, when she could, there was only one thing to say.

‘Thank you,' she whispered.

‘Oh...' Rafe still had his eyes closed, and the sound was no more than a soft groan, but Mika could see the way Rafe's lips were curling into a smile. And then he opened his eyes to look straight into hers. ‘Believe me, it was my pleasure.'

The smile made everything perfect. It brought Rafe the friend back into the body of Rafe the amazing lover.

It made this real.

Mika hung onto his gaze. There were more words aching to escape. Words she had never said to anyone. Ever.

Oddly, they were harder to get out than the extraordinary request she'd made that had led to this.

But she couldn't
not
say them. Even though they made something else scarily real.

How vulnerable she had just become.

‘I...' It was that smile that made this possible. The smile that seemed to underline the warmth and humour in those gorgeous, dark eyes. ‘I love you, Rafe.'

Something she couldn't begin to define flared in his eyes but then the lids came down to shutter them and Rafe pulled her more closely against his body. For the longest moment, he simply held her, and Mika could feel the steady thump of his heart against her cheek.

The silence continued for so long that Mika forgot she was waiting for him to say anything. The rhythm of his heart and the warmth of his skin, in the blissful aftermath of their love-making, were lulling her towards what promised to be a deep and dreamless sleep.

Or maybe not dreamless.

When Mika woke, it was completely dark and Rafe was sound asleep in the narrow bed beside her, his arm still cradling her head against his chest.

She could hear the words. A low rumble that still seemed to reverberate in every cell of her body.

I love you, too...

Had she heard those words with her ears or her heart?

Maybe it didn't matter. Mika pressed her lips gently against the soft skin at the base of Rafe's neck and then, with a sigh, let herself slip back into sleep.

* * *

Life could change in the blink of an eye.

Or over the space of one night.

The world felt different when Raoul woke in the morning. All his senses seemed to be heightened. He could smell the coffee Mika was brewing, having boiled the electric kettle on the only power point her room provided, and he felt more awake long before he tasted it. He could hear the trickle of the water as she poured it into the coffee jug and the tiny sound—a faint hum of pleasure—that Mika made as she glanced up to see that he was awake and acknowledged his company with a smile.

It was the most beautiful smile he'd ever seen. Mika was beautiful. Her skin seemed to glow this morning and he could actually
feel
the touch of her glance against his own eyes. Through his whole body, in fact.

Was
this
how being in love made you feel?

He'd waited until he was sure Mika was asleep in his arms last night before he'd echoed the words she'd said to him.

I love you, too...

They were dangerous words to say aloud because they carried a promise that he knew he would not be able to keep.

Last night had been a gift for Mika.

It hadn't occurred to him how much of a gift he was also receiving but, there it was, sitting inside his chest. Something huge, warm and comforting.

He knew exactly who he was.

A man who could feel this kind of love. Who could protect and nurture. Who could follow his instincts about whether something was the right thing to do, even though there were loud arguments against it, and trust those same instincts that were telling him it would be worth it, despite any inevitable consequences.

He was a man he could be proud of being.

And there was something even bigger that had brought him to this space.

Mika loved him.

She had no idea who he was or where he came from. She barely knew anything about him, but she loved what he was in this moment of time, and that had nothing to do with his elite position in life or his wealth. It was based entirely on who he was as a man.

A man worthy of being loved.

Would she still feel the same way when she found out the truth?

She had to know the truth. Was he really a man worthy of being loved if he was being dishonest?

On the other hand, wasn't he being more honest than he'd ever been in his life before? He had nothing to hide behind. Mika was seeing him as simply the person he was inside, without any of the trappings that were inescapable if you were a member of a royal family.

By a quirk of fate, he had escaped them completely, albeit temporarily.

With a huge effort, Raoul slammed a mental lid on that can of worms. He knew it was wrong—just as much as he'd known that giving Mika the gift of feeling safe to be touched had been right—and he was not impressed with himself for doing it, but he couldn't go down that track just yet.

He would break Mika's trust if he did and that would erase any of the magic that had happened last night.

It would be easy to persuade himself that this continued deception was to protect Mika but he knew he needed it for himself as well. This discovery was too important. This was what he'd set out on this journey to discover—who he was at the very core of his being—and he'd only just found it, this very instant.

He needed time. To hold this precious gift up to the light and look at it from every angle he could find. To revel in the beauty of its simplicity and its strength.

To make sure it was real...

‘Hey, sleepyhead...' Mika's voice was a smile in itself. ‘You'll need to hurry up if you want to have coffee and a shower before we go to work.'

Work.

Washing dishes. The most mundane of employment but even this felt completely different today.

Knowing that, at any moment, he might catch a glimpse of Mika coming to the pass to collect plates, or that she could arrive beside his sink to deposit dirty dishes and share a glance and a smile, made even the worst jobs of the day worthwhile. With his senses so heightened, he could actually hear her voice at times amongst the cacophony of customers chatting, dishes clattering and even the chefs arguing. And whenever they were close enough for their gazes to meet, and one of those silent, lightning fast conversations to happen, he could feel a swell of what he could only identify as joy.

This was...happiness, that's what it was.

And, okay, it couldn't last—not in this form, anyway—but Raoul needed to hang onto every moment of it that he could because...

Because it felt perfect.

As though nothing else at all mattered.

* * *

Nothing else mattered.

There was nothing that could happen that day that could dent the astonishing joy that encased Mika like a private force field. Rude customers and crying babies, even the small dog that bared its teeth and snarled whenever she approached that table, did nothing to spoil her day. It made no difference that there were only snatched moments here and there when she actually saw Rafe or could share a glance or a smile. He could have been a thousand miles away and it would have still felt as if he was right by her side.

It was just as well she was so good at her job because every task was being accomplished on an automatic level. Most of her head was filled with thoughts of Rafe. Thoughts that were more like sensations, really, that she could feel right down to the tips of her toes. A memory of his smile. The sound of his voice. The touch of his fingers or lips on her skin...