The Forest Ranger's Child (9 page)

Chapter Eight

T
he day before her prenatal exam, Lily rose early. Dressed in faded blue jeans and a ratty T-shirt, she pulled her long hair back in a ponytail before working in the garden. Just yesterday, Myra Stokely had brought her a box filled with soft receiving blankets, baby quilts and little clothes. Myra had wanted to throw a baby shower for her, until Lily confided that she might not keep the baby. Rather than criticize her, Myra had hugged Lily and offered her support in whatever she decided.

Dad had left the house early, going outside to feed the livestock. His persistent cough sounded no better since he’d taken his medicine. Lily helped him pitch hay for a while, then went inside to escape his brusque temper. Tomorrow, she’d go into town for her doctor’s appointment, to buy groceries and a couple of six packs of tomato plants. She’d borrow Dad’s truck and hope he wouldn’t accompany her. She planned to ask Dr. Kenner some blunt questions about Dad’s health. Spying on her own father didn’t sit well with Lily, but she had to know if he was okay.

That afternoon, as she dusted the living room, she noticed a stack of opened mail sitting on top of the TV set. Scooping it up, she tidied the pile and prepared to set it over on the desk when bright red lettering and the words
past due
scrawled across the top caught her eye.

Picking up the envelope, she studied the return address from Bill Stokely. Unable to resist the urge, Lily slid her finger across the open seam and lifted the flap of the envelope. A handwritten invoice for two hundred bales of grass hay and twenty bags of grain purchased in January spilled out onto her palm. Again, the words
past due
were written in large letters at the top.

A quizzical sensation settled in Lily’s stomach. Myra hadn’t mentioned the invoice when she’d brought the baby blankets. Lily couldn’t help wondering why Dad hadn’t paid the bill. Maybe he was disputing the charges. Or was there some other reason Dad had let the account grow delinquent? Regardless, the matter needed to be settled. Feuding with their good friends over a feed bill was not smart. Especially once they ran out of hay. Soon enough, they’d need to buy more feed for the horses. And Bill Stokely wouldn’t provide the hay unless Dad paid off the delinquent invoice.

Lily placed the invoice aside on the desk, deciding to speak with Dad about this later. By early afternoon, she’d sorted piles of dirty laundry, started the washing machine, cleaned the single bathroom she shared with Dad, shaken out the rugs and swept the floors in preparation of a good mopping. The phone rang and she didn’t hesitate to answer it.

“Hello?”

“Is Henry Hansen available?”

“No, he’s not here right now. May I take a message for him?”

“Is this his wife?”

“No, I’m his daughter.” She reached for a notepad and pen on the cluttered desk.

“Would you ask him to return my call?”

“Sure.” She waited for the information.

“This is Sheldon with Honor One Credit Company. We’ve left numerous messages for Mr. Hansen, but he’s never returned our calls.”

A dark foreboding swept Lily, making her hands shake. “What’s this about?”

“He’s seven months past due on his payments and we’ll have to refer him to a collection agency if he doesn’t make some arrangements to bring his account current.”

Lily froze. “Is this for a credit card?”

“Yes, and he has a rather large balance due.”

“I…I’ll give him the message.”

Embarrassment flooded her face. Even as hard up for cash as she was right now, she’d still found a way to pay her last electric bill before leaving to come home to Emerald Ranch. She wrote down the phone number before hanging up the phone. Confusion filled her mind. She didn’t understand what was going on. All her life, Dad had raised her to be honest and pay her debts. To forgo any wants before taking care of the needs. To finish the work before indulging in play. Duty, diligence and obedience always took precedence over everything else. But something wasn’t right here. Dad would never ignore the payment of his bills. Unless he just didn’t have the money. In which case he’d sell something to pay his debts.

Such as livestock.

Understanding washed over Lily like a flood of icy water. Dad was broke. He must be. That’s why he had no cattle on the place. Because he’d sold them to pay his bills. But raising cattle and horses would give him more money.

Unless he didn’t have the strength to do the work anymore.

The thought blistered her mind. Dad was ailing. She could discern that with her own eyes. But she didn’t know how serious his condition was or how permanent.

Why wouldn’t he confide in her? This was her father, not a stranger on the street. Since her return home, too many things didn’t add up. Dad’s pale face and cough. The ragged state of the ranch. The overdue bills.

Hurrying to finish her chores, she then prepared supper. A pot of homemade stew. Simple and easy. It could simmer on the stove until dinnertime. While they ate, she would calmly ask Dad some questions. She wouldn’t let him evade her this time. She’d insist on knowing the truth.

The sound of Beans barking outside brought her attention to the front of the house. Peering out the living room window, Lily saw a blue sedan parked in the wide driveway. Beans stood at the side of the car, barking his head off. A woman got out of the car, carrying a plate wrapped with plastic and a large paper bag. She didn’t seem perturbed by the dog, but merely told the animal to knock it off. Beans kept right on barking.

Clara Richens. Formerly Clara Hawkins. One of the nurses from the clinic in town and Lily’s best childhood friend.

Lily groaned out loud. The last thing she wanted was for her old friend to come snooping around. Because Clara had been at the clinic when Nate brought her in, the woman already knew Lily was pregnant. As kids, they’d confided all their hopes and dreams to one another. Except for graduating from high school, Lily had yet to meet even one of her goals. The last thing she wanted was to admit her failures to her old friend.

A short knock sounded on the front door. Beans barked louder.

Lily cast a quick glance in the mirror before answering the door. She groaned again, threading her fingers through her tangled hair. As suspected, she looked grungy and haggard. A pregnant woman who’d been feeding livestock and cleaning house all day. Definitely not the way she’d like to greet a guest.

Taking a deep breath, Lily opened the door wide.

“Hi, Clara. What brings you out to the ranch?” She forced herself to smile.

Clara lifted the plate and Lily gazed at a dozen perfectly decorated cupcakes with pink icing and little purple flowers on top. “I thought you deserved a homecoming welcome. I also figured you could use some of my old maternity clothes because you lost all your stuff in the flash flood.”

Lily took the plate and paper bag, her mouth watering to bite into one of the cupcakes this very moment. It seemed she had a constant craving for anything sweet. And she really could use the outfits.

“That’s so nice of you. I’ll be sure to return the clothes once the baby comes.”

Clara waved a hand in the air and laughed. “No hurry. It’ll be a while before I have a third baby.”

“Would you like to come in for a while?” Lily asked, though she hoped Clara declined. Making light conversation when she had so much to do was the last thing Lily wanted right now.

“I’d love to. I actually have a question I want to ask you.” Clara brushed past her and stepped into the tidy living room.

Gritting her teeth to hold back an exasperated sigh, Lily closed the door. Without being invited, Clara sat on the worn sofa and looked around the room. The scent of pine cleaner filled the air. Even though she’d finished most of her work, Lily hadn’t yet put away the vacuum or box of cleaning rags.

“Looks like you’ve been working hard today,” Clara remarked.

“Yes.” Lily set the bag of clothes on the floor and the cupcakes on the kitchen table, planning to devour one just as soon as Clara left.

Lily returned to the living room, and Clara stood and hugged her tight. “Oh, how I’ve missed you. I’m so glad you’ve come home, Flower.”

Flower. The nickname Clara had given Lily when they were no more than ten years old. The kind gesture warmed Lily’s heart and she hugged Clara back. Maybe her friend hadn’t come here to gloat after all.

When Lily sat back in Dad’s recliner, Clara resumed her seat on the sofa and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “How have you been, Lily? I haven’t seen you in so long. And you never said goodbye. The last time we saw each other, you’d had a terrible fight with your dad. Then you were gone. He said you’d called a week later to tell him you’d run off with that cowboy you met at the county fair. I’ve wondered and worried about you all these years, hoping you were all right. Hoping you were getting along okay. Have you been happy?”

Clara was just as blunt as ever. Lily shouldn’t be surprised. Back in high school, Lily had been the quiet one while Clara had always been loud and outgoing, saying exactly what was on her mind. Maybe that was why they’d been such great friends. Because they complemented each other so well. But that had been a long, long time ago. Now, Lily didn’t trust anyone. Not even herself.

“I…I’ve been fine. The years have gone by fast. I guess you got married.” Lily rested a hand across her stomach, feeling self-conscious. She nodded at the gold wedding band winking at her from Clara’s left hand, trying to focus the conversation on Clara instead of herself.

“Yeah, Michael and I have been married almost five years now. We met in college. You don’t know him, but he’s a real nice man. Maybe you can meet him sometime. We have two kids, a boy and a new baby girl.” Clara’s eyes glittered with pleasure as she spoke of her family.

Lily nodded and smiled as Clara rambled on, but she heard very little. Deep inside her heart, Lily felt like such a failure compared to Clara’s accomplishments. A nurse, wife and mother, Clara seemed to have it all. In contrast, Lily had done nothing with her life except make mistake after mistake.

But no more.

Clara’s twinkling gaze rested on Lily. “I’ve missed you so much. Except for Michael, I’ve never had a friend like you since high school, Lily.”

Lily couldn’t help feeling pleased by her friend’s words. Yet years of suspicion and guilt kept her from confiding in Clara. She felt too ashamed. No doubt Clara would recoil with shock if Lily told her all the things she’d done in the past.

“Look, I don’t mean to pry,” Clara said. “I’m certainly not in a position to judge others. You might as well know that Michael and I…we had to get married, Lily. I’ve been where you are. I just wanted you to know you’re not alone.”

Lily’s mouth dropped open in surprise. Clara’s admission brought the burn of tears to Lily’s eyes. To actually meet someone who knew what she was going through eased the leaden weight in her chest just a bit. But she guessed that Michael hadn’t ever beat up Clara. And he hadn’t lied about being married to someone else. He’d loved her and made her his wife. And that’s where Lily and Clara differed.

“I…I wish I could say getting pregnant out of wedlock was the only difficult thing I’ve done in my life.” The confession was hard for Lily to make.

Clara shrugged. “Like I said, I’m not about to judge you when I’ve got so many skeletons in my own closet.”

Really? Did Lily dare believe her friend? Maybe she could find companionship and acceptance here in Jasper after all, if only until she had her baby.

“There is life after an unwed pregnancy,” Clara said. “Michael and I made a mistake, but then we made it right. I can see you’re trying to do the same.”

Lily wondered if it was possible to ever make her life right again.

“Your life isn’t over, Lily. And neither is your baby’s. It’s just beginning.”

How Lily wished this was true. From where she was sitting, she could hardly believe it, although she wanted to. Very much. “Thanks, Clara. I appreciate your support. More than I can say.”

“Good, because I want us to be friends again. Close friends, like we used to be back in high school.”

Lily gave an uncertain nod. “I’d like that. Very much.”

“To start off with, I’d like to throw you a baby shower.”

Lily swallowed a gasp. “No, Clara. Please don’t.”

“Why not? It’s a great way to get the things you’ll need for the baby. And you need a fun party, too.”

Lily bit her bottom lip. Then, taking a small leap of faith, she explained about her indecision in keeping the baby. “So you can see why I can’t let you throw me a baby shower. It would just make my decision more difficult.”

Clara nodded, her expression sad. “Yes, I do understand and I respect your wishes. I can’t tell you what to do, Lily. But I can say that children are a blessing. Hands full when they’re young and hearts full once they’re raised.”

Lily thought this over for several moments. “I believe you’re right. But I may simply be the incubator for someone else’s daughter. I know my body has made this sweet little baby, but she may not belong to me. The Lord may want her to go to another family who’ll love and raise her as their own.”

This thought brought Lily deep, abiding sadness. How could having a child bring her so much misery, yet give so much joy to an adoptive family?