The Forever Song (29 page)

Bowing his head, he shuddered, and the first red tear slipped from his eye, dropping into the water. It made my throat tighten with sympathy, but it also sent a shiver of relief through me. Horrible as it was, he was still letting himself feel something.

“They’re gone,” he whispered, making a lump rise to my throat. And I forgot about the monster’s indifference, wishing I knew what to say. “My family is dead. I’m the only one left.”

“We don’t know that,” I said gently. Near his feet, the waters of Lake Erie lapped against the pier, a quiet, somehow ominous rhythm. “They could still be out there.”

“They’re kids,” Zeke murmured. “And it’s been days. How could they survive, alone, with the rabids? And Sarren?”

I swallowed. I didn’t know how they could still be alive, either. It wasn’t fair that those two little kids had to die, killed by rabids and a deranged vampire, after they’d come so far. That they’d survived the entire journey to Eden, only to die in the very place that was supposed to be safe.

But the world didn’t care about that; it was ruthless and brutal and merciless, just like Sarren, and not even people like Caleb and Bethany were immune to its darkness.

Zeke suddenly raised his head and roared, baring his fangs and making my heart jump to my throat. I tensed, but immediately after, he dropped his head, clenching his fists so hard his knuckles turned white. “My fault,” he whispered. “This is my fault. I gave Sarren the information
. I
told him where Eden was. He wouldn’t have come here if it wasn’t for me—”

Stepping forward, I slipped my arms around him, pinning his arms to his sides as I pressed close. He stiffened, but didn’t fight me, and we stood there on the banks of the lake, the wind tugging and snapping at our clothes.

“Enough,” I whispered against his back. “Enough with the blame, Ezekiel. We all have things we regret, things we wish we could change, but we can’t dwell on them. That’s part of being a vampire now—learning to move on.

“You did everything you could for them,” I continued, as his hands came up to grip my arms, squeezing tightly. “You brought them to Eden, you gave them a real home. It is not your fault that a psychopathic lunatic wants to wipe out everything.”

“I should have been there with them,” Zeke whispered. “If I’d never left the island—”

“I would be dead,” I told him softly. “And Kanin would be dead. And Sarren would still be trying to destroy the world, with no one to stop him.” I paused, then added, very gently, “I’m not discounting their deaths. And maybe they’re still alive somehow. We don’t know for certain that they’re gone. But…you once told me everything happens for a reason. Maybe this is why.”

Zeke gave a short, humorless laugh. “Why I became a vampire?” he asked. I’d never heard him sound so bitter. “Why an entire city is lost, and everyone I love is probably dead?” He shivered, gazing out over the lake. “My family is gone,” he said in a flat, empty voice. “I’ve lost everything. Seems an awfully high price to pay.”

My voice was almost a whisper. “
I’m
here, Zeke.”

A tremor went through him. He didn’t say anything more, and I didn’t feel any tears drip onto my hands. I didn’t know what he was thinking, but we stayed like that, silent and motionless, the waves lapping at the pier and the wind blowing flurries around us. I didn’t move, feeling his skin grow cold under my cheek, until I felt another presence at my back, a dark set of eyes gazing down on us.

I turned. Kanin stood at the end of the dock, impassive and imposing against the night, his arms folded before him. Zeke hadn’t turned, didn’t see the Master vampire, but those depthless black eyes were on me, waiting. He didn’t move, didn’t beckon me forward, but I turned back to Zeke, lowering my voice.

“I have to go,” I told him, and his head bobbed very slightly. “Will you be all right?”

“Yes.” His voice was soft, but almost normal. I reluctantly let him go, and he hesitated before adding, “Allie…thank you.”

I wanted to say more, but I felt the weight of Kanin’s gaze on us both. So I lightly touched Zeke’s shoulder and went, leaving him alone at the edge of the water, worry and sorrow still heavy on my mind.

The Master vampire waited for me at the end of the dock, watching as I approached. As usual, he gave no hints to his thoughts or feelings, though I was surprised he’d sought me out. Usually, my sire was the silent, neutral observer, leaving me and Jackal to our own devices—until our bickering got too annoying, anyway. I wondered why he’d chosen tonight to come after me.

“Come,” he said simply, when I finally joined him at the edge of the wooden planks. “There is work to be done. Follow me.”

“Work?” I frowned and hurried after my sire, jogging to keep up with his long strides. “What work? What are you talking about?”

“The people here have lost a great deal,” Kanin said without looking at me, heading toward the main street and the huge tent city clustered beyond. “There are too many in need and very few with the resources to help. There are things that we can do to alleviate that.”

“Why me?” We passed the hospital, where a pair of soldiers nodded to Kanin but eyed me with wary suspicion. Kanin smiled humorlessly.

“I would not ask James,” he replied, making me snort. “And Ezekiel needs some time alone. There is only so much you can do for him, Allison. He must come to terms with this loss himself.” His voice turned slightly grave. “Also, I fear with four vampires here, Eden might not come away completely unscathed. We might have to feed soon, so let this be part of that compensation. I only hope it does not come down to that.”

Kanin and I worked through the night. The most pressing concern was the wall that kept out the rabids; there were places that had weakened with the relentless attacks and were in danger of crumbling entirely. The humans watched us come and go without suspicion, unaware of the monsters in their midst. After a few hours of fortifying the defenses, Kanin volunteered me for guard duty, watching the road for stragglers and making sure the rabids couldn’t claw their way in. As I sat atop one of the towers, gazing down at the hissing, writhing mass outside the gates, I wondered if the real reason Kanin was doing this was to keep me away from Zeke. Maybe not with the intention to separate us, but to keep me occupied and to give Zeke a chance to deal with this loss alone. Maybe that
was
the best thing for him now.

Or maybe not. Maybe Kanin’s reasons were as he said— payment for the harm four vampires might bring to the community. Or perhaps it was something else. I didn’t know. My sire had always been inscrutable, and I’d given up trying to figure him out.

About an hour before dawn, I was relieved of sentry duty, and I returned to the hospital. In the quiet stillness before sunrise, most of the tent city was asleep, huddled between blankets and family members, their misery forgotten for a while.

As I headed toward the front door, a hint of fresh blood came to me over the breeze. Frowning, I followed it around a corner, where Jackal leaned casually against the outside wall, cloaked in shadow, his yellow eyes glowing in the darkness. He smelled of blood, but clean and untainted with chemicals, unlike the bandaged, wounded patrons in the hospital. I desperately hoped he hadn’t eaten one of them. My Hunger perked up with a growl, and I shoved it back.

“Oh, hey, sister.” Jackal grinned at me, then took something out of his duster: a plastic bag full of dark liquid. “Did they finally release you from manual labor? A vampire working for the sheep—how positively nauseating. If I were you, I would’ve told the old man to go sit on a campfire. But, hey, better you than me.” He gave me a mocking salute, then bit into the plastic. I frowned.

“Where did you get that? No one here knows you’re a vampire.”

He pulled his fangs from the bag and smirked at me with bloody lips. “It’s amazing what you can find if you go poking around back rooms when no one’s looking,” he answered. “Found this hanging in a fridge, and I got Hungry. Want one, sister?” He lifted the bag, and a few red drops fell to the ground, making my stomach churn with Hunger. “There’s still a couple left, last I checked.” He peered at me again, then arched a brow. “What’s that look for?”

“Nothing,” I said, smiling. “Just never thought I’d see you choose a bloodbag over a human to feed from. Are we finally rubbing off on the big, bad raider king?”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m a vampire, sister. I’m not stupid. If one of these meatsacks up and vanishes without a trace, who are they going to blame first? We don’t need the heavily armed, vampire-hating soldiers poking around and asking questions, and it’s so tedious to dispose of a large pile of corpses. But not to worry.” He settled against the wall, crossing his long legs, and bared his fangs in a smile. “After we stop Sarren, I fully intend to indulge in a nice killing spree to get this taste out of my mouth, so don’t think you’ve defanged me quite yet.”

I grinned. “If you say so. James.”

He glared at me. “Shouldn’t you be saving orphans with the puppy right now? Or pretending to be interested in Kanin’s stories? Go bother someone else for a while.”

Triumphant, I turned away, preparing to leave. “Where are Kanin and Zeke?”

“Hell if I know. Last I saw the old man, he was talking to the mayor, making plans to leave tomorrow and all that shit. They didn’t look like they needed me, and besides, I was bored.” Jackal took a long swig from the bag. “So I thought I’d do my own exploring. Oh, and by the way, they cleared out a room for you so you don’t have to share the common area with the sickies. Guess having a vampire in the hospital made them a bit nervous after all.” He waved the bag at me, arching his brows. “Sure you don’t want one, sister? You could split it with the puppy over candlelight.”

I walked into the hospital, leaving Jackal outside with his stolen blood. The rooms were quiet now, most of the humans sleeping, only a couple nurses milling around the beds, checking on patients. They ignored me as I made my way through the halls, not really knowing where I was going. I wondered if I should go look for Zeke, but figured I’d leave him alone tonight. Maybe he was weary of my constant hovering. Dawn was less than an hour away, and I was tired. Zeke knew I was here; if he wanted to talk, he would come to me.

I finally stopped a nurse in the corridor and asked where my room was. She pointed me in the right direction, then fled, hurrying around a corner as quickly as she could. So, apparently, some of the humans here knew of the vampire wandering the grounds. Hopefully, they’d keep that knowledge from the rest of the patients. I could only imagine what a mob of scared, panicked humans might do if they realized a vampire was sleeping in the room next door.

I walked into my room, which happened to be a large storage closet with a bed in the corner, and froze when I saw a figure leaning against a shelf, waiting for me.

“Zeke?” I blinked as the door swung shut behind me. “What are you doing here—”

Zeke took three steps forward, took me gently in his arms, and pressed his lips to mine. Shocked, I stiffened, but only for a moment. Then my arms snaked around his waist, and I leaned into him as he pulled me close. His mouth worked against mine, gentle but insistent, almost desperate. I could feel the hard cords of muscles in his back, in his arms, like steel bands dragging me closer. His hands rose to tangle in my hair, and I sighed against his lips, feeling a different hunger rise up, burning through my veins. I wanted to tip my head back, baring my throat, but Zeke held me so tight, it was all I could do to kiss him.

When he pulled back, I was a little dazed. His arms were still around me, pressing me close, and didn’t feel like they would loosen anytime soon. I looked up at him, meeting that intense stare, and gave him a puzzled smile. “What was that about?” I whispered.

Zeke touched his forehead to mine, closing his eyes. “That was me…finally realizing what’s important.” He sighed, his voice full of regret. “It shouldn’t have taken me this long, but it seems I’ve always had trouble seeing what was right in front of me. I guess…” His brow furrowed, and he shivered. “I guess everything had to be taken away for me to get it.”

“Zeke…”

He pulled back, his eyes tormented as the stared into mine. “Eden is gone,” he said, making my stomach clench. “My home has been destroyed, and my family…is probably dead. And I’m a vampire. I’ve lost almost everything.” His grip tightened painfully, his gaze almost desperate. “I can’t lose you, too.”

“You’re not going to lose me,” I said, feeling my eyes prickle. “I’ve told you that before, Zeke. I’m here. I’ve been right here the whole time.”

“I know,” he choked out. “God knows I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve a second chance, but…I can’t imagine my life without you, Allie.” His hand rose, pressing against my cheek, his eyes bright with emotion. “You’re the only person that makes me feel human again. When I’m with you, I can actually see a future. One that isn’t full of blood and death, one that I can live with.” He paused, his voice soft but determined. “I can’t change what I’ve done, but I
can
try to make things better. I want to live, and I want to spend forever with you. If…if you want it. If you want me around that long.”

I swallowed hard to clear my throat. “You’ve always had me, Ezekiel,” I managed, meeting his bright blue stare. “Time never mattered. Vampire or human, if we had forever or just a few years, I’d always choose to spend it with you.”

He blinked, and his palm traced a searing path down my cheek, his gaze intense. “I love you, Allison,” he whispered, making my stomach twist into a knot. “With everything in me—heart, mind and soul. Even Sarren couldn’t take that away. Even when I was on that table, screaming and wishing I was dead, all I could think of was you. You’ve been with me every step of the way, and you never wavered, even when I was ready to give up. I’m sorry it’s taken me this long to figure it out.” He took one of my hands, holding it to his chest, his gaze never leaving mine. “So, this is me, all of me, forever. No more looking back. No more regrets. From now on, vampire girl—” he lowered his head, brushing his lips across my skin “—I’m all yours.”