The Form of Things Unknown (14 page)

He hasn't mentioned anything about the Midsummer Night's Ball that will take place after our final performance on Saturday. Raine has finally convinced or coerced Peter into asking her, but Starla has been mysteriously quiet about her date. Raine says she thinks it's the guy from the pool, Hunter. Or a SCAD upperclassman. Either one is really too old for her, I think. My mom would lock me in my attic bedroom if I tried to date someone who was legally old enough to drink.

Caitlyn hops out of the back seat and doesn't wait for us to get out of the car. Lucas looks over at me. “Are you ready?”

I nod, taking a deep breath. I'm okay now. Truly. “Thanks.”

He looks past me out the car window and nods. “Looks like you have a fan club already.”

I open the door, excited that Andria and Trista have made it to town so fast. I didn't think I'd get to see them before curtain. I hop out of the car, but before I take two steps, I stop, because it's not Andria or Trista.

“Hey pretty girl.”

Caleb. In Savannah. In the flesh.

“What are you doing here?”

“I came to see the show.” He smiles and holds his arms out. “Hug?”

“Introduce us?” Lucas says, getting out of the car and coming around to stand next to me.

Oh, this cannot be happening. Just when I think I'm centered and focused and breathing in and out like an expert zen master, my own Evil Ex has to pop back up in my life.

“Caleb Watters,” he says with a smile, holding his hand out to Lucas. “Natalie and I go way back.”

Lucas is nice and shakes Caleb's hand. I hold my breath, letting Lucas give his own introduction. “Lucas Grant.”

And feel a twinge of disappointment. I tell myself it's not that I wanted him to declare himself my boyfriend and protector. Because I don't need anyone to protect me from Caleb. But I grab Lucas's arm. “Well, hope you enjoy the show. Come on, Lucas, we have to get ready.” I try to pull him toward the front doors of the theater, but he resists.

Why does he want to stay here?

“So you're the one who broke Natalie's heart,” Lucas says.

What? How does Lucas know? “He didn't really . . .”

Caleb has the nerve to look sad. “The heart breaking went both ways.”

All right, if I have to talk to him now, I might as well get this over. “I told you I didn't want to speak to you again. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have ended up at Winter Oaks.”

Caleb folds his muscular arms against his chest. God, how I used to love his tattoos. “I have a lot to apologize for, Nat. And I know you can't forgive me right now. But I want you to know that I do regret hurting you.”

“Well?
Can
you forgive him?” Lucas asks me.

I hate being put on the spot. I can't deal with this right now. I shake my head, still staring at Caleb.

Lucas sighs. “All right. You don't really have time to settle this before the play starts. I think we need to go on inside.”

“Before Mrs. Green comes out after us,” I say, agreeing. “Goodbye, Caleb.” I drag Lucas across the parking lot without looking back.

But Lucas stops me once we get inside. He stares at me, as if searching my face for something. “If you're not ready to forgive him, you're not ready to move on.” He leans down and kisses me on the forehead. “Break a leg tonight.”

Wait a minute
.
Wait just a freaking minute.
“And what makes you an expert about moving on?” The words fly out of my mouth before I can stop them.

He frowns.

We're standing in the lobby and I'm certain he didn't want to cause a scene in front of the entire cast and crew. Neither do I. I grab his arm and pull him up the stairs to the balcony. “Have you forgiven Starla?” I ask him. “Can you honestly tell me you have no more feelings for her?”

Lucas stares down into the empty seats below. He opens his mouth to say something, but sighs instead.

Now that I've asked him, I'm not sure if I want to know the answer anymore. This is so not an appropriate time to be having this conversation. I'm supposed to be getting into my costume right now. Into my character.

Lucas looks back over at me. “I was about to say that you don't understand, that I had to start getting over Starla while I was at Winter Oaks. But that's stupid. Because you had to do the same thing, didn't you?” He slumps down in one of the seats.

Except I didn't try to kill myself over Caleb. And I realize I'm still not certain what happened to Lucas before he was admitted. I reach out and pick up his hand. “Were you really trying to kill yourself because of her?”

He squeezes my hand, pulling me down onto his lap. He lets out a heavy breath that tickles the side of my neck. “I honestly don't know, Nat. I told everyone it was an accident. My dad, the doctors, my friends. I drank because everyone else did. And everyone else still does. I wanted to fit in. Pretend that nothing ever bothered me. Not Mom dying. Not Dad shutting down. Not Caitlyn crying herself to sleep every night.”

Lucas still hasn't let go of my hand, and now he caresses my wrist with his thumb. It's hard for me to concentrate on what he's telling me.

“Starla and I had started growing apart months before my mom got sick. I think we both wanted to move on, but she felt guilty about abandoning me when my family was falling apart. I think it would have been better if she'd just broken up and moved on. But I caught her sleeping with one of the guys that works at the comic book store next to the Pirate House.”

I put my free hand on Lucas's shoulder. “I'm so sorry.”

“I guess it just hurt my pride more than anything else. And so I was trying my damnedest not to let anyone know. I drank more than anyone else that night, and came home with a raging headache. I found Mom's bottle of painkillers in the bathroom and decided it would be a brilliant idea to swallow a few of them.”

I lay my cheek against Lucas' shoulder and his free hand slides around my waist.

“I'm so sorry, Nat. I have no business asking anything from you. I shouldn't have acted like a dick in front of Caleb. I'm pretty sure he doesn't deserve you, but I don't deserve you either.”

He gently picks me up and sets me on the floor. I can't tell for sure, but I think his eyes are watery. Just like mine.

“Come on. We're going to get in trouble if we don't get in our costumes.”

Right. Because that's why we're here. There's a show that must go on, and all that.

Lucas hurries ahead of me down the stairs, disappearing into the men's dressing room as if he's never going to see me again. Why does it feel like he's just broken up with me before we even started going out?

I head inside the women's dressing room to put on THE DRESS again. Somehow it doesn't seem quite as magical. Even when the SCAD students fix my hair with a crown of lavender flowers and silver ribbons. Someone sits me down in a chair and does my makeup, painting my face and bare shoulders with glitter.

“Who was that hot blond out in the parking lot?” Starla asks. “And why did Lucas take such a strong dislike to him? Raine shakes her head and grins. “Three guesses why Lucas didn't like him.”

If I tell them about Caleb now, I'm afraid I'll start crying. “Long story,” I say. “I promise I'll tell you after the play.”

CHAPTER 20

Act Three ends and the curtains draw together. My heart thumps so hard, I know even the people in the balcony can hear it. The adrenaline rush is like nothing I've ever felt before. Ten times better than ecstasy.

It's nothing like I expected. The feeling's addictive. No wonder Starla would sell her soul for the acting life. My blood is humming. My breathing hard and fast. I feel more alive than I ever have before. Colton squeezes my hand as the curtains draw back again for the cast to bow. His hand is warm. He bends close to whisper in my ear, “You feel the magic, don't you? Isn't this wild?”

For some strange reason, it seems the fairies and the theater gods and any ghosts haunting the old theater all decided to look upon us with favor and our performance is a success. Mrs. Green beams radiantly as she stands backstage applauding while we take our final bows.

I've remembered my lines. I've remembered my blocking. No one has messed up tonight. We have managed to create the illusion that instead of mere Georgian teenagers, lovelorn Greeks and fairies have inhabited the stage.

I stand between David and Colton just like we've practiced, the roar of applause thundering in my ears. Between bows, I spot my mother and grandmother in the audience, but don't see Andria or anyone else from Athens. The curtain finally closes and everyone starts hugging. We're all sweaty, but no one minds. I see Ferris clap Lucas on the back, on the other side of the crowd. Lucas looks at me and smiles, but doesn't make any attempt to come closer.

I get attacked by a very sparkly Caitlyn. “This was the best night of my entire life!” she shouts. “I'm moving to Broadway when I grow up!”

“Let's move in together!” I say, high on the adrenaline, too. Maybe being an actor wouldn't be so bad after all.

Someone delivers an enormous bouquet of roses to Starla. She squeals when she reads the card, but tucks it away before anyone else can see.

Raine and I get roses, too; hers are from her parents. Mine are from Caleb. I throw them in the trash can on my way to the dressing room.

I push the door open and the goth SCAD student that wanted me to wear dreads helps me out of my costume. “You rocked tonight,” she says, carefully removing the accessories from my hair and putting them in a box for tomorrow's show. “Are you planning to attend SCAD when you graduate?”

I nod. I really want to study theater now. “Costume design,” I say, smiling shyly at her. “Not acting.”

“But you're such a great actress,” she says, twisting my hair up in a loose knot so I can finish getting undressed.

Raine and Starla and Bethany enter, giggling. “You didn't wait for the pictures!” Starla said. “My aunt was looking all over for you!”

“Guys, we were all so awesome!” Bethany says, high on post-performance adrenaline. Tonight we're all best friends. “Who's going to IHOP?”

“Nat, some girls out there were looking for you. Are they your friends from your old school?”

“Where were they?” I ask, as I finish pulling on my jeans and a T-shirt. I hang my dress up so Melinda won't yell at me. Maybe Andria and Tris will want to go to IHOP with everyone else. Of course it will be hard to catch up with them with all my new friends around. But I really don't want to risk having to talk about Caleb tonight.

“That blond guy isn't still out there, is he?” I ask.

“Didn't see him,” Starla says. “Are you going to tell us about him now, or do we have to bribe you with pancakes?”

I smile, because I know how to stall. “A stack of chocolate chip pancakes with whipped cream. I need to go touch base with my parents and let them know we're going out.”

I leave them to finish getting undressed and go searching for Mom or Dad. David finds me first. “Hey, Andria was here, looking for you.”

“Where did she go?”

He crosses his arms and frowns. “Caleb was with them. Did you invite him too?”

“Of course I didn't! One of them must have told him about the play. I hadn't even told him what city we moved to.”

“Is he trying to cause trouble?” David asks. “Need me to kick his ass for you?”

“Not yet. But thanks for the offer,” I say, giving him a hug.

He's surprised, but hugs me back. “Always happy to look out for you, Hippie.”

“There she is!” Mom's voice rises above all the other noise around us. I pull away from David and get caught up in her arms. “Dad's so sorry that he couldn't make it. But we're both so proud of you, honey! We all are!”

Grandma is standing behind her. Grandma looks very uncomfortable, amidst all the noise and confusion. But I'm happy she made the trip out of the house. “I'm so glad you guys could make it. But you don't have to stay. I was going to ask if it's all right if I go to IHOP with the rest of the cast.”

Mom pulls out her wallet. “Sure. Do you need some money?”

“It would help,” I admit. I have got to start looking for a job next week, as soon as the play is over.

“David, you'll bring her home?” Mom asks, still smiling at both of us. “I can't believe how talented my children are!”

“You do make a beautiful Puck,” Grandma says to David. He blushes and she grins. “Natalie, you were quite amazing too.”

“Thanks.” I know not to hug her, that she doesn't like us touching her, so I just smile.

She smiles back. But there's an odd gleam in her eye. Not malicious, but it looks like she is plotting something. Mom needs to get her home quick. I hug Mom again and thank them both for coming. I offer to walk them to their car, but we hear shrieking and giggling behind us as Andria and Trista find me.

“NATALIE!” they both scream.

David ends up walking Mom and Grandma out so I can hug my friends.

“I can't believe you really drove all the way here!” I say, jumping up and down with them. “How was the drive?”

“Not bad,” Andria says. “We stopped at every Dunkin Donuts between Athens and here.”

“I guess you're not hungry for pancakes then,” I say. “The cast is going to IHOP to celebrate and I was hoping y'all would come, too.”

Trista glances around. “That depends. Are you going to introduce us to some of your hot actor friends?”

“What about Hank?” I ask her. “And Alex?” I ask, mentioning Caleb's bandmates.

“She's just kidding!” Andria says. “They're out in the car waiting for us. Alex drove, of course!”

Of course. Andria still can't drive, because she had a seizure in April. I am so happy to hear that Andria and Alex are still together, and Hank and Trista too. But it makes me think of Caleb, how we used to think we'd all be dating the boys of Calcifer together and now I've broken up our group.

No, that's not right, I think, staring at these two deliriously happy girls. I'm just not a part of their group anymore. “Did Caleb come with you?” I ask.

Andria's smile fades quickly.

Trista shakes her head. “Effing Hank. I told him not to say a word to that rat bastard.”

“Well, he must have said something.” I sigh. “Caleb showed up in the parking lot this afternoon.”

“Oh my God,” Andria said. “Did he behave? When we saw him tonight we told him to go back home.”

I guess it could have been worse, but if it weren't for Caleb, I'd probably be introducing Lucas as my new boyfriend right now. I glance around. I haven't seen Lucas in a while. I don't know if he's going to IHOP or not.

Starla and Raine walk over with Bethany. “Are they coming with us?” Raine asks. “We're about to head out.”

I introduce everyone quickly and Raine quickly convinces Andria and Tris to bring the boys to IHOP. I decide to ride with them, so I squeeze in the backseat with Tris and Hank.

“Hey, Nat—ouch, what's that for?” Hank says, rubbing his arm where I punch him.

“That is for telling Caleb where I live.”

Trista reaches around me and punches him again. “Ouch!” he shouts again.

“And that's for not listening to me, Asshole.”

Alex turns around and smiles at me. “How's it going?”

“God, I've missed you all so much,” I say, blinking back tears. I miss my old life.

Andria follows Starla's car to the IHOP, while I tell everyone about my new friends. And David's new friends.

“Did he ever come out to your parents?” Trista asks.

I shake my head. “No, but Grandma knows, and I'm scared to death she's going to out him any day now. You'll meet Colton tonight. He and David are perfect for each other.”

“And what about you?” Hank asks. “You must have moved on if you weren't happy to see Caleb today.”

I frown. “Just because I don't want to be with him anymore doesn't mean there's someone else.”

Andria and Trista exchange glances in the rearview mirror. “Oh, there's definitely someone else,” Tris says. “Are we going to meet Mr. Someone Else tonight?”

I cover my face with my hands. I'm blushing and I don't even know why.

“Y'all leave her alone,” Alex says, grinning. “Maybe David will give us the details.”

And maybe Mom gave me enough money to buy my brother's silence. We pull into IHOP and I'm actually relieved to see Lucas's car missing.

No really. It makes this easier.

David is getting out of his truck and says hi to Alex and Hank. He introduces them to Colton and we all go inside.

The waitresses end up putting three tables together for our group. I sit between Andria and Raine, who are both begging me to tell them what happened in the parking lot today with Caleb.

“He's in a band?” Starla exclaims. “How wicked is that!”

Hank takes his baseball cap off and smoothes his hair. It's bright orange now, and shaved in a mohawk. “Yep, I'm in the band too.”

Trista punches him in the arm again.

“Do you think he went back home?” I ask Hank. He knows I'm talking about Caleb.

“Yeah. He texted me. He said it didn't go like he thought it would.”

“He started texting me when he first got out of jail. I told him then I didn't want to have anything to do with him.”

“Our sweet little Natalie, dating a rock star thug?” Starla says. “I would have never guessed!”

Andria glares at Starla, but I don't think anyone else notices. I shrug. “I am an onion,” I say. “I have layers.”

Two waitresses begin taking our orders, each one at opposite ends of the table. Bethany and Ferris are sitting at the far end, with Peter sitting on the other side of Raine.

Raine makes sure I get the chocolate chip stack. I nudge her. She nudges back. “So Caleb is Natalie's Evil Ex,” she prods.

“And there's really nothing more to the story than that,” I say. “He went to jail for selling drugs and I broke up with him.”

Everyone at the Athens end of the table grows quiet. None of them will add to the story if I don't want them to. They won't mention Winter Oaks or the fact that I had a psychotic break after Caleb gave me ecstasy and I had to go away for my own safety.

Alex sighs. “Actually it was just possession, but still. Caleb has some growing up to do.”

I think he feels guilty, that there might have been something he could have done or said to stop Caleb from partying. But Caleb wasn't ready to stop yet. I still don't think he's hit bottom.

I glance over at David, who winks at me in a very Colton-ish manner. I smile at both of them.

It gets late and Ferris and Bethany pay their bills and leave. Peter gives Raine such a spectacular goodbye kiss, she decides to leave with him. She hugs me and Starla. “See y'all tomorrow.” She waves at Tris and Andria on her way out, holding Peter's hand.

“So, after IHOP, are we all going to go get drunk?” Starla asks. “I know a great place where we can hang out.”

Colton grins. “I still have the keys to the theater.”

“And I still have the booze,” Starla says.

“Booze sounds awesome,” Hank says as he puts his arm around Trista. “We have a hotel room for the night.”

“That my sister booked for us,” Trista says. “We're not bringing a party there.”

“Hanging out in an empty theater sounds like fun,” Andria says. “I've heard lots of old Savannah buildings are haunted. Any ghosts?”

Oh hell.

Starla grins. And Colton puts his arm around David, who is shaking his head to keep from laughing. “You'll just have to see for yourself, won't you?”

Sometimes Starla and Colton remind me of Team Rocket. Fabulously evil. And I worry for all the poor little Pokémon that get in their way.